Ubudlelwane obuhlelwa ngokuthi "Imfihlelo" buvela phakathi kwabantu ngenxa yeemeko ezahlukahlukeneyo, isizathu sokuba akusoloko kukhohlakele. Ulwalamano olufihlakeleyo alubonakali nje kuphela kwimvelaphi yolwalamano lwentsapho, kodwa nangona iveli engenakuqondwa luluntu, iya kuba nomona, ukuhlekisa okanye ukuvalelwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uthando olufihlakeleyo ludala ubunzima obuthile, kodwa alufani nantlukwano kunye ne-adrenaline, evuyisa igazi kwaye yenza ngakumbi kwaye ufuna i-dose emitsha "yolonwabo" lonwabo. Kutheni uthando olwenziwa ngabantu namabhinqa ukuba bafihle, banqwenela, kwaye iireveli zemfihlo zibopha ubudlelwane obomelele kunetampu kwipaspoti?
Umnqophiso wokufihla
Ubudlelwane obufihlakeleyo ubuncinci kanye kanye nabafundi babo bonke. Omnye wayenothando lomninimzi kunye nomphathi, omnye umntu wayenebudlelwane obusondeleyo nommelwane otshatileyo, umntu wayefihle uthando olungavumelekanga lwabazali, kunye nomntu-evela kumyeni. Ukuqhagamshelana okufihlakeleyo bekuye kwiphepha elikhawulezayo kwimbali yehlabathi kwaye, ke, ngaphandle kwabo kwakuya kubakho ubomi obutsha bwanamhlanje. Yingakho abantu bekulungele ukuthatha ingozi, ukubhalwa kwimihla, ukufihla amaphasiwedi kunye nokufikelela kumntu oqhagamshelana nabo kunye nemvakalelo yabo ngokufihlakeleyo ukwenzela ukuba, uThixo angafuni, imfihlo ayibonakali. Kodwa ukuthanda ubunzima kudibanisa kuphela ukuxabisa kwinto efunyenwe ngomzamo, umngcipheko, ubuqili kunye ne-savvy. Uthando oluyimfihlakalo luba njengento yokuzonwabisa, ininzi abathandi bayayikhumbula ngentshiseko kwaye bazama ixesha elide kunokwenzeka ukuba banwebeze i-charm of encounters, "bebiwe" kunye nobudlelwane obunqatshelwe.
Izizathu ezintathu zentshiseko yecala
UNjingalwazi wezezengqondo zentlalo, u-American Madeleine Fuger, obhala incwadi ethi "I-Psychology of Attractive and Romantic Relationships", wathatha uthando olufihlakeleyo kwaye wavelisa izizathu ezintathu ezibalulekileyo ezenza kube lula kakhulu kubantu abaninzi.
Isizathu 1. Ukugembula
Umnqweno weemfihlelo kunye nemigqabhoko ishicilelwe ngokoqobo ukususela ebuntwaneni. Imidlalo kumatshini kunye neentlola, iinjongo eziyimfihlakalo zamaqhawe e-movie kunye nophando lwama-invoyi zencwadi ngumhlaba ongekho isizukulwana esikhule kuso. Nangona kunjalo, ubuntwa buphelile, kwaye kunye nalo mdlalo umdlalo wokuzonwabisa. Ukuze ngandlela-thile ihlawule ukusilela kwabo, abantu bathambekisa ukuzalisa ubomi babo ngokuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo ngothando olungavumelekanga. Iimpawu ezingabonakaliyo, ukukhanya kwempuphu, imiyalezo ebhaliweyo kunye neminqweno yokuvulela ukuguqula ubudlelwane kumdlalo wokufuna apho, ukudideka kunye nokufihlakeleka, kunomdla ngakumbi. Ngenxa yoko isithandwa sabathandi bezesondo zovavanyo ngomngcipheko wokungcola. Ukongezelela, enye imfihlelo yezibini idibanisa, yenza iindibano kwaye iqinisa ubudlelwane "nezigebengu".
Isizathu 2. Ubumnandi nobudlelwane bobuhlobo
Uthando "olubiweyo" luyandisa ixesha lokuthanda. Ngobudlelwane obunjalo, abantu abanakuyiphuza uthando kumzantsi. Abazivumi ukuzalisa ngokupheleleyo, ngokuba ngeemeko zabo zonke izinto zilinganiselwe - ixesha, nothando, kunye nesondo. Uphando lwezenzululwazi lubonisa ukuba ulwalamano olusemthethweni lugxininisa ngokwesondo lufikelele kakhulu kumnyaka wokuqala, ngoko kuncipha, ukudlula uthando olungenanto, ubuhlobo, ubambiswano, okanye ngokubanzi isantya esiphantsi sesithando siba sisizathu sokugqitywa kwencwadana okanye umtshato. Nangona iimbopheleleko ezifihlakeleyo zingapheli ixesha elide zingagcini umnqweno ophakamileyo, ukuzisa ukungaqiniseki kunye nolungaqhelekileyo kulwalamano.
Isizathu 3. Ukukholelwa kwenkululeko
Abathandekayo, abanobudlelwane babo abangekho phantsi kobhengezo okanye bangagxininiswa kwipasipoti, baqaphele okanye baqaphele ukuba bakhululekile. Bathandana, kodwa banako ukuhlabelela enye ngaphezu kwesibini esibiniweyo, abaxhomekeke kwisigwebo kunye nokugxekwa kwabo bajikelezayo. Kwabanye abantu, inkululeko yenkululeko iyashukumisela kwaye ishiya ilungelo lokukhetha, elingasenyanga kwiintsapho zobudlelwane. Ewe, ukuba umntu uyamthanda, oku akumthinteli ekubeni yinyani kwaye uphupha ngezinga elisemthethweni. Ngokukodwa, ngokwemibare, ukusuka kwimfihlo yothando imitshato iyomelele kwaye ihlala njalo. Nangona kunjalo, kwenzeka ukuba ulwalamano oluthile lube sisisiseko esilungeleyo ngabanye abanothando, okanye abo banamahloni obambiswano okanye abangenayo injongo enzulu.