Kuphela nje ukufumana abahlobo abathembekileyo, kunzima nakakhulu ukugcina ubudlelwane obude kunye nobufudumele nabo. Kukho konke oku kusebenzayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo senza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo ebuntwaneni nasebuntwaneni, ngelixa sisengenangqondo kwaye silungele ubuhlobo lonke ixesha elivulekileyo. Sakhetha abahlobo ngendlela efanayo, emva kokuhlaselwa kwezingane.
Njengoko sikhulile kwaye kungekudala sijongene nokungcatsha kwabantu abasondele kuthi, sisondela ekukhethweni kwabahlobo ngokucophelela. Okokuqala kwaye okuphambili, kusisindisa ukubuyisana, kodwa kusenza sibe nesizungu. Kukho nokuba ngabahlobo abaninzi okanye abahlobo bamanqanaba ahlukeneyo okuthembeka, kwaye ngenxa yezizathu ezithile asikwazi ukuzithemba ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye siyazi njani ubukhulu bobudlelwane nabahlobo?
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba sonke siphelele kakhulu, kungekudala kamva intombi yakho ingenza into ongayilindeleyo nhlobo.
Zenzele ubungakanani bokuthembeka okuvumelekileyo phakathi kwakho. Ngaba unokulindela ukuba intombi yakho ayiyi kukuxelela ibali malunga nawe, wathini kuye? Ngaba akanakukukhwele, xa weva iimpumelelo ze-ovashih?
Ukuba oku akukwesabisi, musa ukucaphukisa xa iimfihlo zakho zaziwa kuwo wonke umntu, okanye ngokukhawuleza kubanda kwaye zihlukaniswe ngokubhekiselele kwi-kvam. Kungenzeka ukuba xa uthemba umhlobo wakho ngengozi yakho, uya kubizwa ukuba akuncede, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba le ncedisi iya kukukhokelela kwimiphumo engadingekile.
Yintoni engadingekanga nakweyiphi na imeko ukuxelela i-spodrugoy?
Siza kugxininisa izihloko ezinobungozi ezininzi, ukungathembeki apho kunokuba isikhubekiso phakathi kwakho nentombi yakho.
Usapho lwakho okanye umtshato
I-Etimes akufanele ifikeleleke, kuba isebenza kuphela kuwe kunye nabathandekayo bakho, ngakumbi ukuba kukho iingxaki. Nangona yonke into iphakamileyo, musa ukuziqhayisa kwiintombi zakho kunye nezipho kunye nobudlelwane, abantwana kunye nokufumana, ukuba umhlobo wakho akanalo. Kufuneka ubonise inceba kwaye uzwele, ukulondoloze ngenxa yomona.
Ukuba iimpawu zakho zeempawu zibukhali kwaye ziqiqa, wena ngokwakho awufuni ukuthetha ngazo, ukuphazamisa umngane wakho osondeleyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba wayengathandanga kwaye akayikuvuyela ukunqoba kwakho, ukungaphumeleli kwakhe kunokuba nzima kakhulu kwimpumelelo yakho. Ukuba awukwazi ukunqanda uvuyo kwaye kufuneka ubenabelane ngayo nentombi yakho - thobekile kwaye uzibambe.
Kukho uhlobo lwabasetyhini abanqwenela ukuxoxa ngeentombi zamantombazana zakhe kunye nokusilela kwakhe, ukuhluleka kwakhe. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba akufanele utyhile intsapho yakho, ayiyi kusombulula iingxaki zakho. Ukunyanisekisa ukungaphumeleli kwabo, kunokuphumelela uvelwano olunzulu, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uzibiza wena kunye nosapho.
Ndineentombi, wayesoloko ethetha ngomyeni wakhe kuphela, kodwa wayesazi ukuba wayekhohlisa kuye, ekhupha. Sonke sazibuza kwaye senza isenzo kuphela. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba sasivela kubayeni bethu abalungileyo, kwaye wakwazi ukuphakamisa kumyeni wakhe we-neputevogo indoda enomdla kunye nenkosi. Ufezekisile ngoku kukholelwa kuye kwaye wayehlala ekhuthazwa ngamazwi anomusa. Unokukubeka ngale ndlela-uyilungiselele kwikamva elifanelekileyo kunye nokukhula komntu.
Ngokubhekiselele kwisondo
I-Etatemataboo yengxoxo, yonke into imele ihlale phakathi kwakho kunye neqabane lakho. Ukuba uqhubeka uxoxisana nentombazana yakho iinkcukacha zobomi bakho obusondeleyo, kungenzeka ukuba umhlobo wakho uya kukhuphaza ingxoxo yakho malunga nale nto okanye mhlawumbi uya kukuchaphazela ngokuphila, ngokubanzi, uya kusebenzisa ulwazi ngaye.
Umxholo womsebenzi kunye nezoshishino
Isona esona sibi kakhulu sinobuhlobo siphumelele. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, uya kufuna ukwabelana ngempumelelo yakho yomsebenzi okanye ufumane iingcebiso ezilungileyo kumhlobo wakho. Utshintshana izicwangciso, iingcamango, kwaye ke kuvela ukuba aziphunyeziwe. Ingcamango yokuqala eya kuza engqondweni yakho kukuba intombi yakho iqhubekile, kodwa oku akunjalo ngokupheleleyo. Kule meko, umgwenxa awunaso sonke umhlobo, kodwa ingqondo, njengoko yabonakala, ayikwahlukanisi isicwangciso kunye nesenzo esenziwe. Sifanele siziqhayise kwimpumelelo yomnye umntu kwaye ingqondo yethu ifikelele ngokufanelekileyo njengento eyenzekayo kwaye ayisiniki ithuba lokubeka umgudu ongakumbi ukufezekisa oko kuyifunayo.
Ukuze ufezekise umphumo onqwenelayo, akufuneki ukubeka ityala lakho intombazana ngenxa yokumona ukuba akanakukunika uncedo oluyimfuneko ngexesha elifanelekileyo, nje ungabelane ngezicwangciso zakho nabani na, okanye kunye nomhlobo okanye nabani na.
Ukuba uphumelele ngakumbi kunentombi yakho, musa ukumgxeka ubudenge nokuphuculwa, qhayisa ngeempumelelo zakho ukugqamisa ukuphakama kwakho, kumncedise, ukukhuthaza ukuphumelela kweziphumo kumsebenzi wakho. Ukuba intombi yakho ivila okanye ingabi nokholo, uze uzame ukumgungqa, umkhuphe ngaphandle kwendlu, ufumane iitalente kuye kwaye ugxininise, ukhumbule amandla akhe kunye nobuchule obuya kumkhuthaza ukuba anqobe ukunqoba.
Jabulela kwicala lakhe kunye nokuphumelela kwakhe kunye nempumelelo. Ekuqaleni, unokwedlulisa phambili impumelelo yayo, ukwenzela ukuba iphefumlelwe ngakumbi yimpumelelo emitsha. Awuyi kubulela kuphela, ubuhlobo bakho buya kutshintshwa ibe ngumdlalo kwaye ubuhlobo buya kuqina. Emva koko unako, ngaphandle kokuba uqaphele, wabelane ngayo yonke impumelelo kunye nempumelelo, kwaye akayi kusaba ukratshi lwakhe okanye ukwesaba ukuba uya kukugqala.