Kuphela kwabesifazane, uluntu aluvumeli ukukhala, ukukhalaza kubahlobo okanye ukuxoxa ngamava abo kwiforum. Xa umntu oqhawule umtshato esenza okufanayo, kubangela ukusabela kokulahlwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu emva kokuqhawula umtshato uyanyanzelekile ukuba abe nakho konke ngaphakathi kwakhe, kungekhona ukubeka iingcamango neemvakalelo zakhe ngaphandle.
Yintoni abavakalelwa ngayo emva komtshato? Ubuhlungu, ukudumala, ukulahlekelwa yintsilelo, ukwesaba ukwenza iphoso, ukukrakra kwexesha elidlulileyo. Ukwahlukana ngenguqu ehlabathini lonke ebomini engadluliyo ngaphandle kwengqondo yomntu kunye nomphefumlo womntu. Kwaye kubonakaliswa ukuba abantu bafumana ukwahlukana ngokukrakra kunzima kunabesifazane. Ayikwazi ukukhala nokuthetha, bashukumisa iimvakalelo kwi-subconscious. Yaye njengoko le mvakalelo iyinto engathandekiyo kwaye ingathandeki, iyakwazi ukukhokelela kwizifo ezingokwenyama, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zikhokelela kwiingcinga zokuzibulala.
Umngcipheko wesi sifo emva kokuqhawula umtshato kumadoda kunye nabasetyhini ukwanda ngeyesithathu. Ngethuba lobomi obunobomi, abantu abaphindwe ngokuphindwe kwisithandathu baphendukela kwii-psychologists kunye neengqondo ze-psychotherapists. Amadoda aphindwe kathathu amathuba okubakhokelela ekukhathazeni ukhathazeka kwengqondo nangokwengqondo kunabesifazana, kwaye banokuzama ukuzibulala.
Nangona kunjalo, ngokucinga okungenangqondo, abasetyhini banomdla wokugcina umtshato, ngokufunda ngokujulileyo umcimbi kubonakala ukuba amadoda ahamba ngokuqhawula umtshato kunzima kunabesifazane.
Ixesha eliqhelekileyo lokulungelelanisa emva kokuba umtshato uqede iminyaka engama-1-2, kwabanye abantu ufikelela kwiminyaka emine. Kwaye kukho enye iphutha eliqhelekileyo elinde amadoda. Kukholelwa ukuba uphuhliso olukhawulezileyo lwentsebenziswano emitsha emva kokuqhawula umtshato luchaphazeleke ngenye intlungu yengqondo. Kwaye kwenzeka ukuba umntu uvakalelwa kukuba akanakuze athwale isizungu. Abasetyhini ngokwabo, ngaphandle kokufunda iincwadi ezihlakaniphile kunye neengcebiso zeengqondo, bahlala becinga ixesha lokuhamba ngexesha lobudlelwane beenyanga kunye neminyaka. Ngeli xesha bafika kwiingqondo zabo, balahla umthwalo weengxaki zexesha elidlulileyo, kwaye baqalise ukuqala kobudlelwane obutsha bekhululekile kwiimvakalelo ezimbi.
Amadoda aziphathe ngokuthe ngqo. Akunakakhuphelwa kwiinkalo zangaphambilini, kungabikho izilonda, baqhubela ulwalamano olutsha, njengokwi-whirlpool enekhanda. Ngenxa yesimo esichukumisayo somntu onesizungu, malunga nokuba akukho mntu othetha naye, umntu wenza amanyathelo achukumisayo xa ezama ukufumana iqabane elitsha. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo bayatshata nomfazi wokuqala oye waphenduka, kungekhona ukuba ashiywe yedwa kunye nentlungu yakhe.
Sathetha kuphela iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo kumbuzo wento umntu aziva ngayo emva komtshato. Kodwa emva koko, kukho nezinye iimpawu zobonakaliso bamava kwithuba emva kokuwa kweentsapho.
Ukuba ingenangqiqo, ukuziphatha kwamadoda emva komtshato kunokuhlukaniswa zibe zintathu iintlobo.
Uhlobo lokuqala lwamadoda lithatha isimo sengqondo esinqabileyo. Benza konke ukunyanzela ubomi bomntu owayengumfazi. Ngamanye amaxesha bayalumkisa kwangaphambili ukuba ubomi bomfazi buya kuba sihogo xa ekhetha ukuhamba. Kunzima ukucinga indlela indoda evakalelwa ngayo, ngubani olungele ukuchitha amandla akhe ekulwa nomfazi. Kubonakala ngathi le mvakalelo ayikude kwi-sublime.
Udidi lwesibini lwamadoda luyamkela ngokukhawuleza umtshato njengoko kunjalo. Abazami ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nomfazi wangaphambili, okanye ukulwa naye. Ngentloko edibeneyo kunye nokudumala othandweni nomtshato, baya kwiindawo ezizimeleyo. Kwaye, ngendlela, amadoda anjalo anakho amathuba okugcina ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo bomntu kunye nomfazi wabo owayengumfazi, abantwana, abahlobo kunye nezihlobo zabo zangaphambili.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, uhlobo lwesithathu lwamadoda - aba ngamadoda aqeqeshelwa kuqala ukulungiselela nokukhuthaza. Ngaphambi kokuqhawula umtshato, ngokukhawuleza baqala ukuva uthando ngakumbi, baqonde indlela abafuna ngayo umfazi wabo. Nangona kunjalo, akuqhelekanga ukutshintsha into esele iphulile. Amadoda anjalo angenza konke okusemandleni kwaye akunakwenzeka ukubuyisela ubudlelwane. Eli qhinga lisebenza kuphela xa umfazi engathandabuzeki ukuba ufuna umtshato. Kwiimeko ezininzi, oku akuncedisi umntu abuyisele umfazi wakhe. Emva koko, nayiphi na isahlulo somtshato yinkqubo ehlala iminyaka. Akukho ntsalela yomtshato. Umtshato ngamnye ulungiselelwe iminyaka okanye amashumi eminyaka. Ngokuqhelekileyo, izalamane okanye abahlobo babona kuphela izihloko zokugqibela zesi siganeko. Yaye nangona ukuqhawula umtshato wesibini kubangalindelekanga, kuba baqabane ngokwabo, ngokuqhelekileyo isigqibo esisigxina eside.
Ezi zintathu iintlobo zokuziphatha ezichazwe yindoda zingaxutyushwa kwaye zidibaniswe ngendlela ephawulekayo. Ngamanye amaxesha indoda iphoswe phakathi kwesicwangciso esibi kwaye izama ukubuyisela umfazi wayo wangaphambili, ize iphele ngesivumelwano soxolo kunye nokwamkelwa kwimeko. Ngokuqhelekileyo, akunandaba nokuba yeyiphi isicwangciso sokuziphatha emva kokuqhawula umtshato esikhethwe ngumntu othile. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ngokuqhelekileyo ufumana inqubo yokuqhawula umtshato, njengombandela, ngakumbi kunokuba ngumfazi. Nangona ukuba ngaphandle kuhleli ukuzola.