Inkoliso yethu inempawu ezinokubacaphukisa abanye ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngokufanayo, insizwa yakho ibuye ibuyele kumntu wamaphupha ibe yinto eyoyikekayo, ukuba yinto intombazana ongeyifunayo wena kunye nentshaba.
Umhlobo wakho, ngokuchaseneyo, akayiqondi into enokuyenza xa umyeni wakhe evala yena ngokwakhe kwaye uyamhlupha ngokwenene njengenxaxheba ekufumaneni izizathu zesiganeko esingalindelekanga. Kwaye udade uphuma kuye ngokwakhe xa umthandekayo ethatha isigqibo sokuxelela ukuba uphinde wenziwe njani emsebenzini, kunye namapende ukuchaza indlela engathandeki ngayo ukuba intombi yakhe ayinaso ixesha lokuhlamba iikhati lakhe elithandayo kwiintetho ezibalulekileyo. Kubo bonke abaye bafunda kwelinye lamadoda amadoda athembekileyo, sicebisa ukuba bafunde oko bacinga malunga nezo ntlobo zeengqondo. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, uqonde indlela yokuguqula iimpazamo zentsha yakhe kwiimpawu zakhe ezingenakuphikiswa.
Uhlobo oluthile
Udibana naye kwisikolo esiphumeleleyo. Wayekhusela i-Ph.D. isssis yakhe kwaye wayemthanda kakhulu umphathi wesayensi wakho jikelele ukuze afumane iinkcukacha ezinqabileyo kunye nemithombo yomsebenzi wakhe abambalwa abaqeqeshi babone. Kungenzeka ukuba ekuqaleni kokunxibelelana kwakho ube naye unomdla kakhulu, kuba entloko yale ntsimbi yayinolwazi olunomdla kakhulu, kwaye uhlala elungele ukuthetha naye. Kodwa emva kwexesha, waqala ukuphawula ukuba umhlobo omtsha waqala ukukufundisa kuphela kwintsimi yesayensi, kodwa nakwindlela yokubopha isikhala kunye nokulungiselela i-minestrone. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba oku akumangalisi. Umntu ohamba phambili - kwaye oku kuzaliswa-akulungele ukubuyela kwindlela yakhe yokuziphatha, oku kukuxhamla phambili kwezona ntlobo zengqondo zengozi. Yingakho phantse wonke umntu omzungezile amphatha ngokucaphukisa kancinci: oogxa, abahlobo, abahlobo bakhe nabafazi, kwaye ke, abathengisi kwiivenkile.
Ukuhamba ngokugqithiseleyo kuyinto ephawulekayo yabaselula abaye bafanele bakhule ekuseni. Ezi zihlobo "kaMalume Fyodor", ababa ngabancedisi boomama, bebadlala indima yabaduduzi kunye nabacebisi. Baziva bebathandekile kwaye banomdla kuphela xa bekwazi ukubonelela "abadala", inkxaso enengqiqo. Kwaye ngoku baqikelela umfanekiso wabo unina ukusuka ebuntwaneni babo, apho babephotyelwe ukuba basombulule iingxaki. Kwimidlalo yengqondo "I-Chaser - uMsindisi - Isibingelelo", abantu abathandekayo besoloko bezama ukudlala indima yoMsindisi. Bengazi ngokufuna uMhlatshelo, oya kufuna isikhokelo sabo sobulumko kwaye baya kuqala ukufundisa. Ngamanye amaxesha uncedo lubonakala lukhulu, luze lusitshutshise, ngakumbi xa uMsindisi eqhubekayo "ekufundiseni" kwakhe. Kulo mzekelo, ungesabi ukuthetha ngokuthi "Yeka!". Ndiyabulela ngeengcebiso zakho, xelela ukuba uyabuxabisa uluvo lwakhe, kodwa uya kwenza isigqibo sokugqibela ngokwakho. Ngethuba elithile, unokucatshiswa kancinci, kodwa ukuba uziphathe ngokuzimeleyo kwaye ulandele isigqibo sakho, ulwalamano lwakho luya kuphucula.
Jabule!
Iingcali zengqondo zithi umfazi olungele ukuthatha uxanduva lokuphila kwakhe kumagxa omnye kwaye akafuni ukucinga nokuziphatha ngokuzimeleyo unako ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqilileyo kunye nomntu wesilisa, okanye ezinye izinto ezinobungozi ezingqondweni zengqondo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ngesizathu esithile indoda leyo ifuna inkxaso, kwaye intombazana ayiyi kukwazi ukuyinika yona, umanyano wabo unako ukunika ikhefu.
Ndikhala ndikhala
Xa ukuthanda kwakho ixesha elikhulu liqala ingoma yakhe ayithandayo malunga nendlela engenathamsanqa ngayo kunye nokuba yiyiphi inqununu ecaleni kwakhe abantu baqokelele, mhlawumbi uzama ukummkela, kodwa ngaphakathi kwakho ucasulwa ukuba unomfana onobubele. Oku akuthethi ukuba akayize ngokupheleleyo-ngokuchaseneyo, unokukwenza umsebenzi omkhulu, ube nobomi obulungeleleneyo, kwaye ulapha, unhle kwaye unomdla, uhlala naye. Kodwa kubonakala ukuba lo mntu ufuna ngokwenyama ukuba abelane ngesimo sakhe sengqondo kwihlabathi. Ngaba waya kwikhofe, wayala i-cocktail, kodwa ayifumanekanga? Ulindele isigamu seyure ukugubungela malunga nokungabi nabulungisa kwihlabathi, emva kokusela kwakho konke, ukuba ufuna, kwaye "unayo". Ndampheka i-omelet yokutya kwasekuseni, eyayingenaso ixesha lokukususa kwi-plate? Uya kufuneka anqumle umquba owomileyo osikiweyo.
Iingcali zengqondo zithi ukuba into enganelisekanga ngabantu abanjalo yindlela yokuziphendulela engokwemvelo kwisisombululo sangaphandle, esivela ebuntwaneni. Umntwana wangaphakathi walo mntu akalili ngenxa yokuba kukhona into embi eyenzekayo kuye, ufuna nje ukuphumla ngokomoya.
Amadoda-whiners akhula, njengommiselo, kwintsapho apho uyise engekho ngokwenyama okanye ngengqondo. Kwaye umama unenkathalo enkulu, ezama ukukhusela unyana wakhe kangangoko kunokwenzeka kuzo zonke iingxaki. Kwaye kwangoku kuphazamisa kakhulu kwaye, mhlawumbi, nokuba nomona omncinci wokuzama ukwenza into eyedwa. Umama nendodana bahlobo lwe-symbiosis, apho ngokungagqibekanga iindima zisasazwa ngolu hlobo lulandelayo: unamandla, ukhaliphile, uyanyamekela, kwaye yena-onokunyamekela, uyayifuna. Ukukhula, indoda ifuna ulwalamano oluqhelene naye ukususela ebuntwaneni.
Ngelishwa, i-whiner ayizange ikwazi ukukhula. Kwaye andifundanga ukuthatha uxanduva lobomi bam. Ukhalela, unyuke, njengomntwana omncinci, unqwenela unina onomdla onokumnceda ukuba ajamelane nalo bunzima ubomi. Njengomthetho, ngobudlelwane obunjalo umntu uthatha indawo yexhoba. Kwaye ufuna njalo uMsindisi. Intombazana engakulungele ukuxhasa kwaye ibe yinto enomdla kumntu othandekayo, ngaphandle kokubuza into ethile ngokubuyisela, akunakwenzeka ukuba akwazi ukuhlala ne-whiner yindoda ixesha elide. Mye mvumele amthabatheke ngovelwano lwakhe novakalelo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe ukuba uzithande ngokwakho kunokuziva unxinzelele kwiphepha elisecaleni lakho, ngoko isibini sakho sinekamva.
Andiyi kubaxolela!
Yonke into enhle kuwe, de kubekho into eyenzeka ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa yintoni na "into" kwaye kutheni ibuhlungu kangaka, kufuneka uqikelele. Mhlawumbi kamva, umntu othandayo uya kuthetha malunga nokuba angenzi njani ukwenzela ukuba angamcaphukisi ngendlela efanelekileyo. Kodwa kuya kwenzeka kamva, kodwa ngelixa kweeyure ezimbalwa uza kubona ubuso obubi bomntu wakho kwaye uphendule yonke imibuzo kuphela impendulo - "eqhelekileyo." Kwaye ufumana ukungabikho kokuqonda kokuziphatha kwakho engathandanga.
Ukuzihlukanisa ngokweqile kwimeko engqubuzanayo, ukungafuni ukuthetha, kunye nokujonga okubuhlungu, mhlawumbi kubonisa ukuba akanakunakekelwa ngokwaneleyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, le ndlela yokuziphatha ingakwazi ukunyanzelisa. Ukugculelwa kweqabane lakho kubangela umva wecala kuwe, kwaye ulungele ukunika imfudumalo nje ukuhlangabezana nale mvakalelo engathandekiyo. Izizathu zokugwenxa, njengamanye amaninzi iingxaki, ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbi abazali bavinjelwe ekubonakaleni kwemvakalelo kwaye babedla ngokuncoma unyana wabo omncinci, ngexesha ngalinye bekhetha ukungaqapheli ukuba ngoncedo lokuhlambalaza wayezama ukuwaqwalasela. Kananjalo esikhundleni sokuzithanda nokwamkela oko, kubaluleke kakhulu kumntwana ukuba uhlolwe njani ngabanye. Ukungatholi oko akufunayo, uyasindisa uxhalaba kwihlabathi lonke, apho ubomi bomdala bubonakalisa kuwo wonke amathuba abo abangazange bakwazi ukunika ingqalelo ngokwaneleyo kunye nothando.
Inkwenkwana kumntu omdala unesaba ukucela into evulekileyo kwaye ufumane ukuhluleka kwakhe, kodwa ngokukhawuleza uyanqatshwa. Ngoko ke, ityala liba, nangona lingaqhelekanga, kodwa indlela yokuthetha kunye nelizwe elijikelezayo kunye neqabane. Abo bavame ukukhubeka badla ukuba bakholelwa ukuba bancitshiswa, kwaye bafuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo ngokubaluleka kwabo, indumiso. Indoda enjalo ilungiselelwe kwangaphambili ukuba ibe nesimo sengqondo esibi kuye. Uyakwazi ukuqalisa iimeko apho uya kuziva ephikisiwe kwaye engaqondakaliyo, efumana kuloluhlobo lwentando yesisa.
Esinye isizathu esiqhelekileyo senqumbo sinokulindela okungafanelekanga. Indoda yakho ilindele kuwe, umzekelo, isimemo kwiqela okanye ukutyelela abahlobo kwaye, ngokungazange uyifumane, nazo zonke izibuko zakhe zibonisa ukuhlambalaza. Ukholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba wena, njengabanye abaninzi, kwakufanele ukwazi ukuba ufuna.
Ukuba umntu osemncinci uyaphatha, kufuneka ube nesineke ekuxoxeni naye. Ndimdumise ngenxa yeempumelelo kunye nempumelelo yakhe, kodwa thintela ukuthelekiswa nabanye, kuba wena ungcono kakhulu kuye, kwaye nguye kuphela! Zama ukufumana phakathi "kwegolide" phakathi kokubambeka kunye nokuphepha ukucatshulwa kwakhe. Sitshintshe loo ndoda kwiingxaki kwizinto ezintle zobomi. Mbonise ukuba ukuthetha ngezikhalazo akunakwenzeka kakhulu kwaye kuyingozi! Futhi ungakulibali ngokuthetha kunye nangemvakalelo yakho - musa ukuzithethelela kwaye uhlale uxolisa apho ungaziva unetyala.