Yintoni umtshato womtshato kumntu: Isilumkiso, kuyingozi kumantombazana!

Umtshato womtshato, ekuqondeni i-Wikipedia, umanyano womtshato obhalisiweyo kwaye ubhaliswe kwiibutho zamandla ezichaphazelekayo karhulumente, kunye noluntu (incoko) yonke indlela, ulwalamano olungabhalwanga lubizwa ngokuba ngumtshato womtshato. Ukususa abantu emanzini acocekileyo, siza kuthetha ngomtshato womtshato njengento engafanelekanga, "angagxininisi" ubudlelwane.

Yintoni umtshato womtshato kumntu?

Kwiimeko zeengqondo zethu, kwiimeko ezininzi, umtshato womtshato uba ngumgangatho wabasetyhini abanokuzithoba kunye namadoda angakhathazeki ngokuxanduva olukhulu. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo ngokwezengqondo? Ibhinqa elithatha iimeko zomtshato womtshato, i-priori iyavuma ukuba yanelisekile encinci. Kwaye ukuba akavumelani, kufuneka afune okanye, ubuncinane, achaze loo mfuno. Indoda iyaqonda ukuba lo ngumbono wakhe wentsapho, kwaye uyabahlonela isikhundla sithandekayo aze atshate, okanye aphule ubuhlobo. Ukuba umfazi ubekezela kwaye ulinde, xa umntu ehamba ukummema kwisithsaba, ngoko, ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa yiyo kwaye ungakulungeli ukulahla. Kuba amadoda abakhetha ukuhlala ngokukhululekile, kodwa ngaphandle kwembopheleleko, oku kuwuphawu lokuba umntu akanako ukuxina, kwaye uya kuhamba xa ibhinqa livumela ukuba lenze oku.

Indoda enjalo iyafanelana nayo yonke into. Kutheni kufuneka azikhathaze ngale ntshukumo yomtshato aze axhumane ngezandla kunye neenyawo ukuba:

1. Ibhinqa ivumelana naye ukuba iphile ngokwemimiselo yakhe.
2. Uluntu linciphise imilinganiselo yokuziphatha kwaye luthembekile kumtshato engabhalwanga.
3. Ubundlobongela, ukutya, iingubo ezicocekileyo kunye nekhaya elihle lihamba kunye nebhonasi enomdla rhoqo.
4. Ukungabikho kwezibophelelo ezisemthethweni kunye nenkululeko iyahlala ilungile ngokomthetho, ukuba kukho into ehambileyo okanye iyakhathazeka.

Le ngcamango yabantu abangenako ukuguqulela ubudlelwane bomtshato kwisimo esisemthethweni. Kwale nto akukho nto iyingozi, ukuba umtshato womtshato ngaphandle kwembopheleleko ilungiselelo elifanelana namacala omabini.

Abantu bacinga njani ngamava omtshato womtshato?

U-Eugene, oneminyaka engama-21, umfundi, amava omtshato womtshato iminyaka emine.

"Kwintombi yam yangaphambili, saqala ukuhlala kunye xa sasineminyaka eli-17 ubudala. Babengabafundi, bahlala kwindlu yam, babeka ubomi baze bazibiza ngokuthi yintsapho. Yonke into entsha, ndandiyithanda kakhulu, abahlobo bam babenomona. Kwaye, oontanga bethu, kwakuyinto entsha. Kodwa ke abafana bevela kwinkampani yethu, batshintsha amantombazana phantse iiveki, baqala ukubuza ukuba ndibe ndixatywe na? Ngaba awufuni ukuhamba kwaye ulungele inkululeko yentlalo? Kwakhona, ndandiphazamiseka lo mbuzo, kwaye ngoku ndiqala ukukhwelezela ukuzimela kwabahlobo bam. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubudlelwane, endiyakholwayo ngokuqinisekileyo kwintsapho, ngokukhawuleza ndiphelile. "

Iingcamango zengqondo: Kwiyindoda eselula, kuyimvelo ukufumana amava kwaye ufunde ngowebuhlobo, funda ukwabelana ngesithuba kwaye uhloniphe iimfuno zomnye. Lo mkhuba wobomi bentsapho awusixabisi, kodwa ke uninzi lweentsapho zentlalo "yoluntu" luthiwa ngamava obuhlungu.

IPavel, oneminyaka engama-25 ubudala, umprogram, amava omtshato womtshato iminyaka emi-5.

Ulwalamano lwethu lubangelwa ukunyamezela kwam. Ndabetha intombi yam komnye umntu. Wamnqoba ngezenzo zothando, wamkhathalela kakuhle kwaye eqhubekayo. Abazali bam basinike indlu yabo, kodwa abazange bayibone le ntombazana njengendoda yabo yenkosikazi kwaye abazange bamvumele ukuba azincede ukuxazulula iingxaki zendlu. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, bakwazi ukulungisa ukungathandabuzeki kum, nangona umfazi wasemoyeni wayesele ezama egameni lam. Ndaqala ukubayika ukuba wayeza kukhulelwa kwaye ndiza kutshata. Kwaye ndibe ngumcebisi wokuhlukana. Wayehlupheka, kwaye "ndasuka". Emva koko ndatshata enye intombazana. Ndandifuna ukukhululeka naye. "

Iingcamango zengqondo: Inkululeko yinto ebalulekileyo kunayo indoda. Kodwa ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene umfazi, uyesaba ukulahlekelwa kwaye uyaqonda ukuba ngelixa ezama, umntu ocebileyo uya kumfumana aze atshate, ngoko akukho, nokuba nomoya onamandla kakhulu ngaphandle, akanako ukummisa.

USergei, 40, umatshini womoto, utshatile.

"Intombi yam kunye nathi satshatile emva kokuzalwa kwonyana wethu, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba umntwana kufuneka akhulume ngokusemthethweni, kodwa ngenxa yokuba isitampu epasipoti yamvumela ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwinkqubo yezindlu" Intsapho yaseLutsha ". Kwakungekho esinye isidingo sokuba imeko esemthethweni kum okanye kum umfazi wam. Inyaniso yokuba ndifuna ukumnyamekela yena nabantwana bethu, ndaqonda ukusuka kumhla wokuqala. Kwaye ukuba umntu akafuni ukuba noxanduva lweentsapho kwaye athathe uxanduva, akukho kubhaliswa kwalo kuya kwenza oko. "

Iingcamango zengqondo: Ngokuqinisekileyo, isitampu kwipasipoti ayiniki naziphi na iziqinisekiso zokuziphatha, kodwa zilula izinto ezithile zomthetho. Nangona kunjalo, njengokuba kukho ukubonisa, abantu abanomdla kwixesha elide lobudlelwane balahlekelwa ngumdla kwintsapho engaqhelekanga ukuba ukubhaliswa komtshato akuqhubekanga kwiminyaka engama-2-3.

Izigqibo

Zonke izizathu eziqhelekileyo ezinokuthi zilungele umtshato womtshato ziyakunzima:

• Kubalulekile ukuhlola ukuhambelana (ngocansi, ubomi, ukuthembeka). Kwaye abantu abahambelanayo kuzo zonke iinkalo banenkqubela. Ngaphandle kwabo, akunakwenzeka ukwakha intsapho eqinile.
• Simele kuqala "simi", uze utshate. Izibalo zibonakalisa ukuba ubudlelwane bosapho bubonelela ngesiseko esomeleleyo (inkxaso, ukuthatha inxaxheba, ukunceda, ukukhuthaza) ukuphumelela, kunokuba uphumelele kwedwa.
• Isitampu kwipasipoti yindibano. Mhlawumbi, kodwa ngaphezu kobudlelwane obuvulekile, luyalela kwaye lufundisa uxanduva. Kwaye kumantombazana amaninzi, isitampu isona kuphela indlela eyamkelekileyo yokwenza intsapho.
• Izihlobo azivumeli ukhetho. Iimbono zentsapho zihlala zibalulekile, kodwa ukuba umntu akanako ukukhusela uthando lwakhe, ngaba unokulindela ukuba uya kukwazi ukukhusela intsapho yakhe phambi kwezinye iingxaki?
• Umtshato uphathisa uthando. Amadoda athile acinga ukuba emva komtshato, i-princess iya kuba "irenkco", kuba injongo ifezekile, iyanconywa kwaye iyathandwa ngoku ayikho imfuneko. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba i-Tsarevich ayikho i-Fool, emva kwayo inkosazana iya kufuna ukuba yinkosikazi.

Ezi zizathu nezinye ezininzi zivela xa umntu engaqinisekanga ngokukhetha kwakhe. Ukuba uyayithanda ngokwenene, ke akanasisizathu esisodwa sokukhusela imeko esemthethweni. Ukuba ngumyeni osemthethweni uzukileyo! Into eyona nto kukufumana umntu ofuna ukugqoka esi sihloko esiqhoshayo.