Emva kokuphila iminyaka embalwa, intsapho eqinile iyaqonda ukuba ixesha lifikile umntwana wesibini. Kodwa baqonda ukuba ukuba ngowokuqala uza kuba luvavanyo olukhulu lobomi. Abantwana basabela kwisigijimi sabazali ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Abanye bacela isilwanyana kunokuba udade okanye umzalwana, kwaye abanye bacinga ukuba bafuna ukutshintsha indawo, kuba ungumntwana ongenalutho. Umxelele ukuba wena. Ngoko ke, umzali kufanele alungiselele ngokuzeleyo ukuzalwa komntwana wesibini, engakhohlwa malunga neemvakalelo zakhe zokuzalwa. Emva koko, eli lixesha lakhe lokuqala lokuphila. Zama ubuncinane ukungavumi iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo.
Umlinganiselo ophezulu wobudala
Lo mbuzo mhlawumbi awusoze waphela. Njalo kulo xesha kuya kuba neengxabano nokungavumelani. Abanye bathetha ngokukhetha umlinganiselo omncinci kwiminyaka yabantwana, besithi abantwana baya kuba neenjongo ezifanayo. Abanye bakhuthaza ukufezekiswa kweminyaka yesikolo njengomntwana; kuya kuba zimeleyo. Kuba umntwana omncinane uya kuhlala ixesha elide.
Iingcali zengqondo zihambisana nomlinganiselo ophezulu kwiminyaka emi-5. Malunga neminyaka emithathu ubudala umntwana ufuna umngane kunye nomntu onjengaye. Abantwana abaninzi bacela umzalwana okanye udade wabo abazali. Kwaye ngeminyaka emine umntwana sele ejwayele ukuba azimeleyo, eziya kumvumela umama ukuba achithe ixesha elininzi kunye nosana olutsha.
Uluhlu oluncinane lwabantwana aluyi kuvumela ukuba unike ixesha elilodwa kwanexesha elaneleyo nengqalelo. Kodwa ukuba umda wobudala mkhulu, umntwana wokuqala akayi kuba nomdla kwimeko yesihlobo esincinane. Dlala, uchithe ixesha elininzi kunye nosana lwakhe lokuzikhethela.
Indlela yokunika ingxelo malunga nokongezwa kwintsapho
Ngoko, ulindele intlanganiso kunye nomntwana wesibini kwintsapho. Qala ukucinga malunga nendlela engcono ngayo ukuthetha ngokubonakala kwakhe okuza kumntwana wokuqala. Kwaye kufuneka nje uthethe ngokuzithemba kwaye ukhululekile. Musa ukumbuza ukuba ufuna udade okanye umzalwana. Emva kwakho konke, unokukunika impendulo engalunganga, engafanelekanga kuwe konke.
Emva koko, sele usuziva unetyala ngenxa yalo. Musa ukuthetha ngolu hlobo ngezwi elixolisayo okanye ngezwi ngokuzilibazisa, ungaqinisekisi ukuba yonke into iya kukulungele. Ngoko umntwana unokuqatshelwa! Xelela iindaba ngokunyanisekileyo. Vumela umntwana ukuba azive ngokuchanekileyo kwesigqibo osenzileyo.
Ungamxeleli umntwana omdala ukuba uya kuba neqabane lokuthetha naye ekhaya, kumdlalo oqhelekileyo. Ewe, kuya kuthi, kodwa kungekudala. Kwaye ke owokuqala uya kudana. Ndixelele nje ngomzalwana okanye udade ozayo ngokubanzi. Nye, hlaziya iifoto zakhe okanye ividiyo kwiintsana. Emva koko, naye, ngoku kutshanje, akakwazi ukuhamba kuphela, kodwa uhlale okanye uthethe.
Makhe aqale ukufundela kwaye afunde imisebenzi yomntwana omdala kwintsapho. Mthabathe esitolo ukuze uthengise umntwana, laphula iingcebiso ngokukhetha amathoyizi abantwana. Ngaphambi kwexesha, qwa lasela apho ityhulo yomntwana iya kuba khona. Ukuba ufuna ukuhambisa umntwana kwelinye igumbi, ngoko uthembele ngokuqinisekileyo oku kuhamba ngokuphucula iimeko kunye nokudala intuthuzelo eyongezelelweyo kumdala.
Ungalokothi ukhulume ngeengxaki zokukhulelwa ukuba ingavalelwa ngumntwana. Oku kuya kuvuselela umona womntwana ongakazalwa kwaye kwandise ukuxhalaba kwezibulo lakho.
Masiqhelane! Kwaye ngoku kwenzeka isiganeko esinomdla. Umama nomncinci weza ekhaya. Izihlobo zithwala izipho. Kodwa akufanele banikezwe kuphela kunina nomntwana osandul 'ukuzalwa, kodwa kunye nomzalwana wakhe omdala okanye udadewabo. Kwaye ungachukumisi, uyancoma, ude ude phambi kobudala. Akayiqondi imvakalelo yakho okwamanje.
Qinisekisa ukuba ufumane ixesha ngelilanga ukuthetha nomntwana wokuqala. Mamela onke amabali akhe ngobomi ngaphandle kwakho, ndixelele ukuba uphoswa kangakanani kwaye uyamthanda ngempela. Emva koko uvelise izalamane ezincinci. Bonisa umncinci, makamthathe ngesibambo, khuluma naye, umomotheka. Kodwa ukuba akafuni ukuthetha, ke ungagxininisi. Ufuna ixesha, ngoko ufuna ukuzenza ngokwakhe. Kodwa xa ubonakalisa umona ngomntwana, cinga ngokungabikho kwengqalelo kuye. Ngomhla ubuncinane iyure, ubanike umona ngomnxeba. Yenza ingqalelo yakho ibhekiswe kuye kuphela.
Sesele sibini
Iiveki zokuqala ezimbini okanye ezintathu zentsana zihlala endlwini ziya kuba nzima kakhulu. Ubomi bazo onke amalungu entsapho buya kutshintsha ngokuphawulekayo. Umama uya kuchitha ixesha elincinane nomntwana omncinci, umntwana omdala uya kuva inxaxheba ekuphenduleni izicelo: linda, ungabi kuwe! Umntwana uya kulila, athukuthelelwe kwisithuba esincinci, ubonise ubugwenxa kumntu omncinci ongenatyala, kuba kuthatha umama.
Hlala umama, apho umntwana wakho asetyenziswa khona. Hamba nayo, dlala, funda iincwadi. Musa ukujezisa umntwana, ungayithelekise nentsana. Yithi umntwana uya kukhula ngokukhawuleza kwaye uya kuhamba nawe. Kwaye umhlobo omhle kumntakwabo omncinane okanye udade unokuba ngumzalwana okanye udade oseleyo.