Ngaba ubungqina bentombi buyingqina okanye inyaniso?

UHenri de Monterlan, umbhali waseFransi, wathi kuye: "Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabasetyhini buyintsebenziswano engekho nto." Ngaba abafazi abazi ngokwenene ukuba babe ngabahlobo? Yintoni ubuhlobo besini - inkolelo okanye inyaniso? Oku kuya kuxoxwa ngezantsi.

Iingxabano malunga nokuba kukho ubungani phakathi kwabasetyhini, ixesha elide. Phakathi kwekhulu le-XVII, zonke iingcali zefilosofi zaseFransi zithatyathwa ngxubusho "yeengxaki zabasetyhini". Iingcali zenzululwazi zifikile ekugqibeleni ukuba abafazi abayinto engaqhelekanga kubantu kwaye banokuba ngabahlobo. Nangona kunjalo, ngoluvo lweengcali "ezifanayo", akubona bonke abafazi abakwaziyo oku: umntu unengqondo, umntu unemfundo, umntu akakwazi ukubona umntu onokubambisana naye, kwaye umntu ucinga Ubuhlobo bubuhlungu. Ngaloo nto, ngokubhaliweyo, wabhala uLaroshfuko: "Abasetyhini abanandaba nabangane, oko kubonakala ngathi batsha ngokuthelekiswa nothando." "Wuyi, ui," waxhobisa amadoda aseFransi ngokuvuma, kwaye, evuyiswa kukuphakama kwawo, waya kubabulala abahlobo abakhulu kunabo bonke, babhale izichaso kubo kwaye bawabeka ematyaleni.

UKUFUNEKA KWABANTU

Inkolelo yobuhlobo njengobudlelwane besilisa kuphela buye kwiintsuku zethu ngokungazitshintshiyo. Njengobungqina obuninzi bokungabikho kobuhlobo obusetyhini, kuthiwa ukungakwazi kwamantombazana ukuba bahlale bezinikela ngokubambisana nomntu. Yithi, ngoko isondo elifanelekileyo ngokukhawuleza liqala ukukrazula ngengubo, kwaye kunye naye, kunye nekhonkco kwikhonkco yenkwenkwe yecala. Emva koko bayakhohlwa malunga neengxaki ezihlangene kunye, ezithengisayo, kunye nokunye.

Nangona kunjalo, le ngxabano kulula ukuphikisa. Okokuqala, ukuyothenga, ukuqokelela ekhitshini nokuxoxwa ngamava akho akuthi ukuba ngumhlobo. Abasetyhini banokuba ngabahlobo, abahlobo, kwaye baba ngabahlobo nje emva kokuba bahloniphe uvavanyo ngqalelo kubalandeli, imali, njl. Okwesibini, amadoda ahlala ephikisana kunye neentshaba, esithandana nomfazi ofanayo. Kwaye kwenzeka ukuba izizathu ezifanayo zikhokelela kwizizathu ezingaphezu kweprosaic, umzekelo, ukhuphiswano kwishishini, njl. Okwesithathu, ukulwa kwamabhinqa kumntu ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu, ngenxa yokuba isondo esibuthakathaka kunzima kunokuba umntu oqinileyo ufumane umlingane wokuphila. Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba intombi leyo ijika ngokukhawuleza ibe yiintshaba, nje ngokugqithiseleyo iyakhupha loo ndoda. Kukho amacala amaninzi okuthandana nokuthandana, njengento engabonakaliyo ngokubanzi phakathi kwabahlobo (siya kuthetha ngale nto kamva).

Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba ubuhlobo besifazane buyivivinywa, ukuba "izihlandlo" zabantu zihamba phambili ngaphezu kwe "zesondo". Kodwa yile nto abantu abayinyani ngokwenene, ngoko ke lobuhlobo obusetyhini buhluke kwindoda.

ISISTERS OF MERCY

Ubuhlobo babasetyhini phakathi kwabameli bezesondo ezibuthathaka buhlala buguqulwa ukuba buhlobo olusondeleyo. Umhlobo omhle ulungiselela itafile yomtshato, uxhomeke esibhedlele sokubeletha, uhlala kunye nomntwana wakho (kwaye kaninzi uba "ngumama wesibini", ingakumbi ukuba unabantwana bakhe), uthatha ikati lakho ehlobo. Mhlawumbi, ubudlelwane obunjalo buyingxenye ngenxa yeengcamango zembali. Kwiminyaka emininzi abantu behlala kwiintsapho ezinkulu, apho isiqingatha sabantu besenza umsebenzi wesikolo, abantwana abakhuliswayo, njl. Xa sele befumana into entsha yentlalo, apho "intsapho" ibhelela kuphela umyeni okanye umama, loo ntokazi ayengazi kakuhle ukwandisa isangqa sezihlobo ngeendleko zabantu abangaziwayo . Ulwalamano olunjalo lunika abafazi ingqiqo efunekayo yokuxhasana, ukhuseleko, kunye nethuba lokukwabelana ngemfanelo kwiimvo zabo, iiminqweno nezenzo. Yinto enye yokuthi: "Ndifuna ukulungiswa endlwini" - kwaye enye into: "Sifuna ...". Olu qoqo "siya" lukhuthaza ukuzithemba kwaye ludala umqondo wokuzilungisa.

Enyanisweni, ubuhlobo boodade bunomnye umbingelelo obalulekileyo, odla ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Bangaphi abesifazana abenqaba ithuba lokuhlela ubomi bobuqu bakho ngenxa yomhlobo! "Andiyi kudibana naye, kuba uLenochka naye ufana naye ..." "Musa ukunyamezela intombi yakho kunye neengxaki zakho, udinga inkxaso ngoku ngoku ..." "Vera yinkwenkwezi, makabeka le ngubo, Ndiyakwazi ukuhamba into into elula ... "Kwaye ngoku akukho mntu wedwa nomntu othandekayo okanye kunye nosapho. Simele simeme umhlobo, kuba uwedwa ngoku ...

Ubuhlobo obunjalo bufana ne-symbiosis, "iqela elivaliweyo", apho kungena khona ukungena ngaphandle. Nguwo amandla akhe nobuthathaka ngexesha elifanayo. Amantombazana abe ngumntu osondeleyo komnye nomnye, kodwa ukubonakala komnye "ilungu lebhula" leenjongo kunye neenjongo zabo kubhekwa ngabanye njengokungcatshiswa. Ngoko ke, ukuba unyanzelekile ubudlelwane obunodade, ukususela ekuqaleni uvuma ukuba ngamnye wenu unomlinganiselo othile wenkululeko. Akukho imfuneko yokwenza yonke into ebomini ndawonye. Into enokuyenza okanye yedwa okanye inkampani nabanye abantu. Oku akukungcatshalwa ngumhlobo othandekayo.

NGOKUBANI O BA BENZI?

Ngamanye amaxesha amabhinqa ahlangana ndawonye ngenjongo yokwenza izinto - ukwenza kube lula ukunqoba zonke iingxaki. Kwiinkalo ezinjalo kukho umbingelelo oncinci kunye nomsondezo onothando, kodwa ezinye iinkalo zokuhlala ngokubambisana, okwenza kube yimanyano enobungcali. Ababhekiseli kwimibutho yokuzimela ngenxa yokusinda kwi-collective yomqeshwa ochasayo. Sithetha ngezivumelwano ezininzi okanye ezingapheliyo, ezinokuhlulwa zibe ziintlobo ezintathu.

■ Ubuhle kunye nesilwanyana. Ngaloo mbini, intombi enye inembonakalo ekhangayo, kwaye enye iyanceda. Ngenxa yoko, owokuqala ufumana ukunyaniseka okuthembekileyo kumntu weqabane lakhe kunye nengqalelo yamadoda, kwaye okwesibini-ithuba lokuthatha inxaxheba kwimicimbi yentlalo. Ukongezelela, "uyawa" umntakwabo, lowo umhlobo wakhe angamkeli.

■ I-Smart and Pretty-yintoni-isilumko. Ukuba akunjalo kule nyunyana, amadoda okuqala aya kuthathwa njengento ephethe, kwaye yesibini - nje isidenge. Ngokudibanisa iinzame zabo, ziba zilungele ukuhlanganiswa kobunkokheli kunye nenkohlakalo, ubufazi kunye nobungqina.

■ Inqunu kunye neMouse. Kulo mbini, elinye ibhinqa liziphatha ngobundlobongela kwaye libuhlungu, kwaye okwesibini - ngokuthula nangokungaqondi. Iingonyama zizingela, kwaye iMouse ivelisa isicwangciso sokuhlasela, isilungisa iingxabano eziphakame endleleni.

Ubuhlobo "kwimigaqo yokubambisana" yingozi kakhulu kunodade. Enyanisweni, ngelixa intombi iqhutywe yinjongo efanayo, iyakumelana kunye nodonga. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba iingxaki zengqondo zenye yazo ziqala ukusombulula, ibhalansi yebini iphulwa, kwaye umanyano, njengommiselo, udibanisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu uyaqonda ubuhlobo phantsi kobudlelwane phakathi komntu ngexesha lobunzima bokuphila, ngoko ulwalamano olunjalo luqinisekile.

AKHILLESOV Pyat

Abasetyhini banokuba ngabahlobo nje kuphela iminyaka neminyaka, besele bahlobo kunye nabadala. Kwaye izazi zeengqondo ziye zafumanisa ukuba ubuhlobo buhlala ixesha elide kakhulu, elizalelwe ulutsha oluthandanayo: kwisikolo, kwisikolo ... Kodwa abantu abadala abanakuqhelana nabo ngokungaqhelekanga. Kubonakala ukuba, banokungathembeki kwaye baxhomekeke. Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto ezinobungozi ezinokuthi zichithe ubuhlobo obuqinileyo. Kufuneka ukwazi malunga nabo ukuze uqaphele ingozi ngexesha xa kuvela endleleni yakho. Ngoko, kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba ubuhlobo besifazane buqaphele?

Okokuqala, ukhuphiswano. Ukuba ucebise intombi ukuba uyitshintshe umfanekiso, kwaye xa ekugqibeleni ihlaziywe i-wardrobe, wayenomona okanye uvuyo: "Ndiyindoda enhle!", Ngokwamaqabane akayi kuba yindlela engcono kakhulu. Ukhuphiswano olusempilweni olufana nokuncintisana kwezentlalo aluxinakali, xa umntu ophumeleleyo ethatha umgca wokuxhamla, evuya kwimpumelelo yakhe. Kodwa umnqweno wokubetha umyeni womngane akusiyo intsebenziswano, kodwa umnqweno wokuzibamba ngokuhlazisa umhlobo. Oku akunakwenzelana nohlobo.

Okwesibini, iimvavanyo zi "ruble". Akusiyo "imfihlelo yokuba imali ingonakalisa ubuhlobo obunokwenene." Ukuba uxabisa ubungani, ungaze uqhayise kumhlobo ukuba ufumana ngaphezulu (kwaye ungabi nomona xa ufumana ubuncinci.) Khumbula: imali ibalulekile kodwa ayiyona nto ebalulekileyo ebomini bethu Makungabikho ukuphela kwabo, kodwa indlela yokuqonda iiminqweno kunye neminqweno yabantu abasondeleyo, kubandakanywa namantombazana.

Okwesithathu, ukungena kwi "club club yabasetyhini" yamalungu amatsha. Unako, udibanise bonke abahlobo kwitafile enye, kodwa musa ukwenza umhlobo wakho omhle abe ngumhlobo wakho omhle nakwezinye. Oososayensi baseMelika, ukufunda ngokunyanisekileyo into "yezoThabiso kunye nesiXeko," beza kwisigqibo esingalindelanga - ubuhlobo babangani abane nabathathu bahlala ixesha elifutshane: i-quartet yaphela ngokukhawuleza ibe ngamabini, kwaye i-kathathu iphinda yahlukana kwaye ifumene ubudlelwane. Esi sizathu salo "iqela" lobuhlobo besetyhini - inkolelo okanye inyaniso yile nkcazo inokucaciswa kuphela ngeendlela ezisebenzayo.