Sekunjalo uSigmund Freud, uyise wengqondo ye-psychoanalysis, wabhala ukuba xa ukhetha into yesondo, amandla (libido) asuka kwizinto zokuqala zothando-ngabazali-kumlingane. Kwaye ke, indoda ifuna umhlobo obukeka njengomama, kwaye intombazana ikhangele ubaba. Inkolelo inomdla, kodwa i-100% ayiqinisekisile. Emva koko, igama elithi "elifanayo" alicaci kakhulu. Yintoni efanelekileyo ukuba iqabane lijonge njengomama-kanina kwaye likhulu kangakanani? Ukuqwalasela oku, kuyimfuneko ukuqhuba uphando olunzulu. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha abantu bajonga omnye nomnye baze baqonde - oku kuza kwenzeka. Masizame ukujonga indlela amantombazana afuna ngayo umyeni, indlela akhetha ngayo kunye nendlela yokugcina umntu okhethiweyo? Makhe siqwalasele iindlela eziphambili zokubamba iqabane lomfazi. Ukuze senze oku, siya kubalingiswa abadumileyo beentombi: iintombazana ezingenayo yonke imbeko ngexesha elilodwa, kodwa ke zamukelwa umseshelo othandekayo ngomnwe.
Umzekelo weCinderella.
Kule ibali kuboniswa ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuphakamisa inzala yomntu kwaye ungavumeli ukuba le nzala ifumaneke ngokukhawuleza. Le nkcazo yenzululwazi kwala mabhinqa amancinci asele kwintlanganiso yokuqala ekulungele, njengokwi-anecdote, "ukuxelela yonke into kwaye ubonise yonke into". Yaye oku akusoloko kuyimfuneko!
Umlingisi oyintloko - iCinderella - ihlwempu, ixhomekeke kwintlopheko engokwenyama nangokomzwelo. Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba aphule kuloo miqathango enokuhlala kuyo.
U-Alina weza kwikomkhulu evela kwidolophu encinci yephondo. UBawo wayedla, intsapho yahlala ebumpofu kwaye ihlala ixhala. U-Alina wayiqonda ukuba ithuba elilodwa lokuguqula ubomi bakhe lidibene nomtshato ophumelelayo. Wayengenalo unkulunkulukazi, waza wazama ukuzizama. U-Alina wafunda kakuhle esikolweni waza wangena eyunivesithi kwiSebe elikhululekile. Kwiminyaka emibini yokufunda ndandiqinisekile ukuba abantwana ofunda nabo abafanelekanga. Bona ngokwabo badinga ukungenwa kwezemali, kwaye u-Alina akazange aphelise. Wahlala kwi-scholarship, wasebenza ngexeshana, wafunda ngokufanelekileyo - kwaye wabukela. Emva kwexesha elithile, wayekhangela umntu-uprofesa onxulumene no-bachelor kwi-faculty eyakhelene naye, enomdla kwisayensi. Wayesele engaphezu kwama-30, ngokucacileyo akayithandeki, kodwa uAlina akazange abe neentloni. Wafunda ukuba unabo "ubukumkani" obupheleleyo - igumbi lesigumbi ezintathu eMinsk. Musa ukusela, ungashiye, uyenze i-yoga - kunokuba ungabi yinduna? Nangona kunjalo, malunga ne "nkosana" behlala bexhamle nabo kunye nabanye abafundi. Emva koko u-Alina wanquma ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso sokwenza umdla. Wafunda okusemandleni akhe malunga nemikhwa kunye nezinto ezithandwayo (ibhola, i-politics, imbali-phantse i-set standard). Kwavela ukuba wayenamahloni, oyika amantombazana kwaye uhlala ebalekela kwizesayensi. I-Clever Aline yale ngcaciso yanele ngokwenza isicwangciso senkqubo. Wafumanisa ukuba yeyiphi intsuku "inkosana" eneeklasi, xa esesidlo sasemini, kwaye ngexesha elifanelekileyo lahlala etafileni yakhe. Wayeyedwa, okwenza umsebenzi ube lula. Ukusuka kumbuzo ongenacala uAlina: "Ndixolele, andiyi kundixelela ngenye indlela izolo" uManchester "?, Baqhubeka bexoxa ngezopolitiko, kwaye ngoko-kunye nobomi. Imizuzwana embalwa ngaphambi kokuba "isikhulu" siphuze ijusi, u-Alina waxolisa waza wabuyela. Ngexesha elizayo xa embona, wamomotheka waza wema. Wayenomdla, wayethetha naye imizuzu emininzi kwaye, ngokubhekiselele kwingqesho yakhe, waphinda wagijima. INkosana yaqala ukubonisa umdla. Kwinyanga kamva badibana kabini ngeveki, kodwa wayengazi lutho malunga naye. Ngaloo mihla xa wayenemixholo, badla kunye. Kwaye uAlina ... wanyamalala kwinyanga. Wayenomkhuba, kwaye wayengazange ayeke ikhefu, ngoko wayefuna ukumbona. Kodwa ndandisaba ukuchitha yonke into. Ukubala kwakulungile. Ukongeza kwigama lekhosi yakhe kunye nobuchule bakhe, "inkosana" ayengazi nto. Kwaye waqala ukukhangela intombazana. Yaye yafumanisa, nangona engenazo izicathulo okanye iinombolo zefowuni. Emva koko yonke into ayifani neyodwa, kwaye u-Alina kwafuneka asebenze kanzima phambi kokuba inkani, inhlanhla kunye ne-"old prince" yamnika isandla, intliziyo kunye nemvume yokuhlala emagumbini amathathu egumbini, kodwa sele sele sele unyaka wesihlanu wayedlala ingcongolo eminwe yesandla sakhe sokunene.
Nangona iCinderella ayiyindalo yesigqirha, uyakwazi ukuvuselela umdla wakhe. Omnye ovela kwi "sinks" ukuya ngaphandle, umntu-kwi-intelligence, umntu-ukuba inyaniso kwaye iqondwa. Umsebenzi weCinderella ngowokuphuma kwisihlwele, ukuvuselela umdla ngomsebenzi ongaqhelekanga okanye ukubonakala, ukubonisa umgangatho oyingqayizivele wesikhulu kwaye ubaleke. Ukuze inkosana kaThixo ingavumelekanga, uThixo akazange akrokreze ukuba uCinderella ubeka umnatha. Yonke into ifanele ibonakale ingahleli. I-Cinderella iya kuvusa isicatshulwa sikhulu somzingeli, kwaye ukuba wenza ngeemigaqo, emva kwexesha isikhulu siqala ukukhangela wakhethayo.
Isicwangciso seCinderella:
1) Khangela into efunwayo.
2) Ukubonakaliswa kokubodwa.
3) Inomdla umdla.
4) Ukungaphumeleli.
5) Imvume yokuzifumana.
6) Umtshato, (amanqaku 4 no-5 anokuphindaphindiweyo amaxesha amaninzi - into eyona nto kukuba umphumo ovelisayo awunakunyamalala).
Umzekelo "I-Frog Princess".
Imbali iyalathisa loo mantombazana angenayo iimpawu ezibonakalayo kwaye ezibonakalayo. Khumbula iindaba: abantwana abancinci bondla uyise, kwaye wanquma ukutshata nabo. Kwaye kuba bengazikhathaleli ukuba ngubani oza kutshata (oko, ngokufanelekileyo, ngokungabi mthethweni!), Ubaba unikela ngamnye kubo ukukhulula umcibisholo. Apho ufumana khona - unyuliweyo. Oonyana abadala bafumana umcibisholo egcekeni kumantombazana afanelekileyo, kwaye omncinci ... kuyintloni ukusho ... Akudingeki ukuba ube yingqondo ye-psychoanalyst ukulungelelanisa umcibisholo ngesithunzi somntu. Kwaye kubonakala ngokucacileyo oko kuchazwa ngokuthi "hit hit arrow": nangaphambi kokuba umtshato, intombazana ibonise amathuba akhe kwi-sex-erotic sphere.
Ngefrigi, sidibanisa iingcamango ezinjengokuthi "kubanda", "kukubi", "kungathandeki." Ngaloo ndlela, ngaphandle kokuba neenkcukacha zangaphandle eziqaqambileyo okanye, ngokuchanekileyo, ukuba yinto engcolileyo, inqamu, kodwa, ifumana indlela efanelekileyo yokuphumeza unyana omncinci.
Nangona kunjalo, ngeli xesha le nto ayaneleyo: inani lezahlulo kunye nokuhlukana kuyahluma, kwaye intombazana-i-frog ayifuni nje ukuba ibambe idilesi, kodwa nayo igcine iyigcine. Ngako oko, emva komtshato (okanye emva kokuqala kobomi obudibeneyo) amaxoxo abonisa iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeetalente. Kule nkcazo, i-frog iyamangalisa yinqanaba eliphakamileyo lophuhliso lwezakhono zentombi zesintu: ukukwazi ukuthunga, ukulungiselela nokukhupha ubuninzi bokubaluleka kokuvela kwayo. Siya kuqaphela, ukuba kwindatshana yefriji isilumko esilumkileyo sinika inkxaso yombutho obaluleke kakhulu ku-Ivan (umyeni wakhe) - uyise. Emva koko, xa indawo yentlalo yoluntu iyamxelisa umntu akhethiweyo, iyomeleza ukuzithemba komntu ngokuchaneka kokukhethwa kwayo, iqinisa ukuzithemba kwayo, ixhasa umdla wayo. Indoda inamathele kwisigodlo sayo, kuba nguye ozama ngamandla kangaka. Kananjalo, xa, ngokutsho kwefriythi, i-frog yanyamalala, u-Ivan uva ngokukhawuleza phakathi ko "ubomi kunye ..." kunye "nobomi ngaphandle ...".
UMaxim noNastya badibana iminyaka emininzi. U-Max uyingxowankulu, inzondelelo, indoda enhle ehlala ifuna yena. U-Nastya uyintombazana eqhelekileyo, kungekhona ubuhle. Unomfanekiso othandekayo, iinwele ezimnandi, kodwa ngaphandle koko ude udele kumzekelo. Ngokukodwa xa kulandele i-Beautiful Maxim. Ubuninzi, ngaphandle kokungabaza, ngezikhathi ezithile baxelele uNastya ukuba abengabini isibini, kuba wayeyindoda efanelekileyo, kunye noNastya-ukuba ayingekho i-toad, ngokuqinisekileyo wayengenalo. UNastya wayekhuthazela ngokunyamezela konke oku. Wayemnakekela ngokuthembeka uMaxim, wampheka ukutya, waphulaphula onke amabali akhe kwaye akazange akhubekiswe ngokudabuka kwakhe ngokubonakala kwakhe. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni kungalindelekanga - uMax wayefuna ukudubula ngeentolo zakhe, kwaye wathumela utolo lwakhe, kwaye le ntoloko yahamba ... masithi njalo-egcekeni lentombazana uDiana. Kwaye uMaxim Nasta waxelela ukuba wadibana nomnye intombazana enhle, watshintsha uNastya naye. Wema. Kodwa xa ecetyiswa ukuba baphile ndawonye, uNastya washiya-ngokuzolile nangesidima. Abazange bahlangane kwaye abazange babuyele iinyanga ezintathu. Kwasekude ixesha elide lihlala elonwabileyo likaMaxim kunye noDiana omuhle. Kwavela ukuba okokugqibela kwakungekho mnandi, onqabileyo, onenkani kwaye engabonakali ngaphezu koMaxim ngokwakhe. Kwinyanga kamva waqala ukuqonda ukuba ubuhle bubudlelwane - kungeyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu, kwaye xa uDiana ephindaphindiweyo ephikisana naye - kunye nobulumko. Kwavela ukuba uDiana wayeyisilumko-emva koko, wayedlala njalo, kwaye wachaza ngokuthe ngqo ukuba uMoxim weendlela zakhe ezingenzi-mogul nokungahlawulwanga umvuzo. Ewe, wayenabo ubulumko bukaNastinyh nomonde (akazange axelele uMaxim inyaniso engenamkhethe, alulaze iimbombo ezinxulumene naye), kunye nezakhono zakhe zokucoca kunye nezakhono zoqoqosho. Emva kokuhlaselwa komsindo, uMaxim waphula kunye noDiana kwaye, ngokukhawuleza wamshiya, wazama ukubuyela kuNastya. Kodwa kwakukho. Uhlakaniphile uNastya uthe akayilungele ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane kwifomathi endala engapheliyo. Ukongezelela, wayenomntu omdala kwaye engathandeki (jonga iindaba - umlingisi uKoschey, ungumncintiswano). Kodwa lo mntu ucinga ukuba uNastya ulungile, uyathandaza kwaye ulungele ukutshata ngoku. Kuye, uziva uxolo kunye nokuzithemba. Njengoko kwimbali, uMaxim kwafuneka alwe noNastya. Emva kwakho konke, yinto enye - xa kukuthi "inqabileyo" ebhokisini "," enye-xa ithe yachithwa yi-Koschey. Ukhuphiswano, apho uMaxim ajoyine khona, wamnika ingqiqo yexabiso kunye nokubaluleka kwentombazana. Kwaye bonke abahlobo, izalamane, izalamane, abazali, ukuguqula iminwe yabo etempileni malunga nezenzo zikaMaxim, nabo benza igalelo labo.
Ngokubanzi, emva kwayo yonke inkqubo, kwakukho ukuphela okuvuyisayo. U-Maxim uvumelekile ukubuyela eNastia (eqinisweni, akazange aphikise ngokwenene), uNastya - ukunyanzelisa ukuba ahloniphe. Emtshatweni, uNastya wayemthande, njengabo bonke abafazi, eduze komyeni wakhe omhle. Kukho udoti kuwe.
Ngoko, i-frog, ukubonakala akuyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu. I talente yayo kwenye.
Isicwangciso seFrog Princess:
1) Ukuhlaselwa ngokukhawuleza kwizinto ezifanelekileyo.
2) ukunqoba kwendawo yakhe kufuphi nomntu.
3) Ukuqulunqwa kokuxhomekeka komntu.
4) Ukulwa novelwano lwakhe lwentlalo ngokubonakalisa ukufaneleka kwakhe.
5) Ukungaphumeleli kwimpendulo kwizenzo ezinobundlobongela okanye ezihlaziyileyo, kodwa emva kweyodwa into yesithathu.
6) Ulonwabo lokhuphiswano olukhethiweyo kunye nolunye uqobo.
7) Imvume yokuzifumana njengomvuzo oyimfanelo.
8) Umtshato.
Umzekelo "Ukulala Ubuhle".
Ibali linomdla ngokukhethekileyo kula ma ntombazana athi, ngenxa yezizathu, "alahleke" ixesha legolide, xa bonke oontanga babo batshatile, kwaye ngoku bafika kwiingqondo zabo kwaye bafuna isikhulu.
Ukususela kwingqungquthela eyaziwa kukuba intombazana eyafikelela ekuvuthweni, yahluthwa ngentambo (kwakhona isimboli, ukuba ayiphumelelanga). Emva koko walala. Indoda eyifumene yayimvelo ngumceli, isayensi yendalo, i-trailblazer. Kwakudingeka aphule kwiindawo ezinzima (kuyacaca ukuba yintoni le nto malunga nayo), ukufumana umtshakazi, ukumanga nokumvusa. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa i-princess ivukile, yonke into ejikelezileyo iyavuka ngokukhawuleza. INkosana-i-Liberator phantsi kweengalo okanye isandla somhlophe - kunye ne-wreath! Batshongo? Wonke umntu wabona! Yaye ngubani na ophosa ikosikazi engu-100 kwiminyaka edlulileyo, ehlanjululwe, akukho mntu ukhumbulayo, izinto zide ziphele ... Kodwa wena ngokwakho unqabile-ke, njengendoda efanelekileyo, ndimele nditshatile!
UMarina "walala" kwada de wayeneminyaka engama-27 ubudala. Oko kukuthi, ndandisole ndilele. Ngokuchanekileyo, bahamba. Ulwalamano olulodwa lunenyanga ezintandathu, ezinye iinyanga ezimbini. Akukho mnye u-Marinchku owehlwayo. Kodwa abazali bam bacinga ukuba intombi yam yayihloniphekile. Ngamanye amaxesha uhlala nabahlobo bakhe, ngamanye amaxesha uhamba ngokuhamba ngezoshishino. Kwaye xa ugogo wamshiya indlu-kwaye ngokubanzi iingxaki ziye zaphela. Kodwa xa uMarina evukile, kwathiwa yedwa kwaye akukho mntu wayenomdla wokutshata naye. Yonke into ibonakala iyinto-ukuqeqeshwa, ukukhula komsebenzi, indlu. Omnye umntu olungileyo - ngoko bonke babetshatile, ngoxa uMarina wacingisisa kwaye wathintela. Kwaye uMarina waqala ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso. Emva kokumhlangabeza uStean, umfana osemkhosini onomdla kunye onamandla, wayenomdla kuye ngokunyaniseka kwakhe, wayenomdla wobufazi. Kanti-ibali lokuba intombazana ehloniphekileyo kwaye ulindele ukhethiweyo wakhe. Kwiinyanga eziliqela, uStean "waqhaqhayisa kwi-thicket." Emva kokuba ndifumene umvuzo oyimfuno emva kwayo yonke i-ohov, ahov kunye neenyembezi zikaMarina, ndaya naye ngosuku olulandelayo kubhalisi. Kodwa ngandlela-thile ndandithandabuza ... Ukuba yonke into yayilungile, uMarinochka wamanga-emva kweveki ezi-3 zathi babeza kuba ngabazali abonwabileyo. Enyanisweni, umntwana wayengaboni, kodwa uMarina nabazali bakhe babumba iqhosha elifanelekileyo. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa uStean waba ngumyeni. Kwaye emva kwexesha "kwakukho ukuphuphuma komzimba" ... Abantwana ababonanga kungekudala, kodwa umtshato uzinzile. UMarina ngoku "wavuka" -bini njengowesifazane, kwaye njengomfazi nonina. Kubuhlungu ukuba umtshato uqale ngokukhohliswa, kodwa uStean akayazi ngokuvuya.
Isisindo sokulala:
1) Amava angaphumelelanga ngokwesondo, "aphelisa", okanye aphelelanga ukukhangeka kumlingane ngenxa yokungahlaliswanga ngokomzimba okanye kwengqondo.
2) Ukwazisa ngesidingo sokufumana iqabane lomtshato.
3) "Ukukhwela" kubalulekile ukuba unqobe kwaye unqobe. 4) Ukuvumela iqabane ukuba 'livuke' (kumana okanye "ukumbamba ngesigxina" - yonke into iphathelele into efanayo).
5) Ukunika isimo somyeni womhlanguli oyingqayizivele.
6) Ukudala imimiselo eyenza umtshato "umhlanguli" onyanzelekile ngomtshato wokulala.
7) Umtshato.
Iintetho ezintathu zichazwe ngeendalana zibonisa ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukudibanisa ukucwangciswa kwezicwangciso kunye neendlela zokukhangela, ukhetho, ukukhanga kunye nokugcinwa komyeni. Emva kokugqitha iintlobo ezihlukeneyo "zentlalo-ntlupheko", umlingani womtshato angaba nokufaneleka, okanye ufumane kwiqotyisi yenkunkuma.
Ngoko, kubalulekile ukukhumbula intombazana engakhethi inkwenkwe, kodwa indoda yakhe?
Okokuqala, yenza okulungileyo kuqala. Le ngxenye ebunzima kakhulu, kuba idinga ukuziqonda kunye nokuqhuba "ukuxilongwa ngokukhawuleza" kweempawu zeqabane.
Okwesibini, qaphela ukuba nayiphi na icebo liza kufuna amandla kunye namandla, oko kuthathwa ngokutshatyalaliswa ngokuwa. Ngeentlanzi ngamanye amaxesha inqamle ikhonkco ngaselunxwemeni, kodwa akusikho isizathu sokungabikho ukuloba.
Okwesithathu, hlalutya kwaye uqonde ukuba yiyiphi inxalenye yezinto eziza kusebenza ngempumelelo. Ukuba iqabane lizimisele ukuthuthuzela noxolo, kufuneka ubonise amandla akho okuyidala. Ukuba kubalulekile ukuba anqobe kwaye alwe, makamthathe inxaxheba kumncintiswano, apho ungumvuzo oyintloko. Ukuba ufuna
kuba ngumsindisi - mnike ithuba lokukusindisa: kusuka kumkhuhlane, ukugwina eminzini yokuhlambela, imvula ...
Isicwangciso sinokutshintsha-sitshintsha, kwakhona. Omnye uzibheka njengentonga, kwaye okhethiweyo ubona iCinderella kuyo. Emva koko kufuneka uphefumule kwaye ukhumbule ukuba, njengoko uShakespeare wabhala, "ihlabathi liphela yindawo yokudlala" ... kwaye udlala into ebaluleke kakhulu kumbonisi wakho oyintloko.
I-PS Yonke i-vyshenapisannoe ayiyikukhansela yonke intombazana kunye nomfazi kufuneka ukuba basebenze ngokwabo baze bazame sebenzisa ngokusesikweni ukusetyenziswa kwentsapho yabo yobomi. Mthande nje umntu onzima kakhulu ukufumana nokuwunqoba. Kodwa akadingeki ukuba azi malunga nalo. Makhe acinge ukuba ukhethe waza wada. Ngenxa yokuba uyindoda, kwaye kubalulekile kuye.