Kucacile ukuba ukuqala kokuphendula kwabanye ngamanga kukucaphuka. Kodwa apha povozmushchalis, kwaye yintoni na? Indlela yokulwa nobuxoki? Kwaye ngokubanzi, indlela yokuhlala nomntu onokuhlala elala nakwizinto ezincinane, xa kucacile ukuba yonke into iya kuvula.
Sathethathelwa iibini ezithandwayo ngabo bobuxoki, kwaye kuthelekise le zityhilelo ngophando lwengqondo.
Ukuvuma komyeni okhohlisiweyo
U-Stanislav uthi, "Hayi, uTatyana akayitshintshi, uhlala nje imihla ngemihla, ehlala elele iminyaka emithandathu yobomi bethu ndawonye." Ewe, wonke umntu uyayazi! Uthanda ukumbumba yonke into, ukuphupha.
Kutheni utsho ukuthi uye waya kuthengisa ukuba wayethetha nentombi yakhe ngelo xesha? Kwaye ukuba ufuna into ethile yokuthenga, uya kupeyinta ukuze afune ukufa xa ungekho. Xa ndinomdla kumsebenzi, nokuba unyana wenza izifundo, umfazi uxoka, ukuba izifundo zikulungele. Xa ndibuya ekhaya, bayakhawuleza ukugqiba imisebenzi. Ndingaphila, andiyikunyamezela ukukhohlisa konke? "
UTatiana ubheka umtshato wakhe uphumelele. Unomsebenzi omkhulu emsebenzini, uhamba kunye nomphathi kunye neentombi. Simele sihlawule ubungqina bakhe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uTanya akayena umdlali we-actress kwaye akayena umthengisi, ngoko uza kubonisa njani amandla akhe? Kubalulekile kwintsapho kunye nemveliso. Amanga amabhinqa asoloko emngcipheko wobugcisa, le yinkqubo apho ukucinga okucwangcisiweyo kwezesondo ezilungileyo kukugqithisa kwaye kubonisa iziganeko - iimvakalelo ziyahamba kwaye ziphazamise inyaniso.
Ngokuqhelekileyo ubuxoki bamabhinqa abuyiyo injongo, balala kuphela "ngenxa yokuthanda ubugcisa." Kodwa ininzi lamadoda ayinakukuqonda oku, kwaye, ebonisa italente engavamile, iqala ukulandelela imbangela yamanga, ezama ukuvula inkohliso. Kwaye ke intsingiselo yobomi bentsapho iya kubetha "ngubani oza kubamba." Esinye isibini esitshatileyo savuma ukuba ixesha elithile badlala umdlalo: ngubani na oza kubamba umntu ozokwenza uhlanga. Umyeni nomfazi abaqinisekanga ngokupheleleyo, kwaye oku, ngokombono wabo, kuvuselela ubudlelwane. Kudala kangakanani umdla wezemidlalo weli qabane uhamba, akekho owaziyo.
Kwimanyano kaStanislaus noTatiana amanga ayikhathaleli imibuzo yothando. Kunoko, unobumba basekhaya. Kodwa, njengokuba uyazi, ubomi buqulethe izinto ezincinci. U-Tatiana uyamthanda umyeni wakhe, akanandaba namanye amadoda, uyabakhathalela abathandekayo bakhe, uqikelele ukuchitha imali yakhe yentsapho, uzama ukwenza konke okulungileyo. Xa uTatyana uthi izifundo zenziwe kwaye konke kulungile, ufuna nje ukubonisa ukuba ungumama olungileyo, ulawula yonke into kwaye unakekele unyana wakhe. Ukuba wayehlala kunye nomhlobo waza wayifihla, kuba kuphela ngenxa yokuba wayenomona onomona ngomyeni wakhe kumhlobo wakhe. Nangona kunjalo, ikhonkco lokungaqondani nokungaqondi kakuhle kunokutshabalalisa lo mbambano. Kwaye isizathu sokuba kubonakala ukuba indoda ayizange ilale.
Ngendlela, izazi zeengqondo zifumene: "abantu abathembekileyo", njengomthetho, balala kaninzi kunabanye - banikezela ukucinga. Kwakhona, aba "bathanda inyaniso" bacinga ukuba uluvo lwabo luyinyaniso eyona nto, yingakho abafazi babo kufuneka bavumelane kwaye badibanise ngaphakathi kwezikhokelo zabo eziqinileyo.
Izizathu
Imvelaphi yamanga ingahluka. UTatyana uthe ngamanye amaxesha akaqapheli ukuba uyaphonononga njani okanye adibanise iziganeko. Inokwenzeka ukuba, le ntokazi ibhekene nobunzima, kwaye ngoncedo lwamaxoki akhe angamanga afuna "ukuvakalelwa ngokuthe tye": uxoka aze acinge ukuba umyeni wakhe uya kucinga kwakhona? Esinye isizathu kukuba "akayi kudanduluka kwaye akayi kuthukuthela", ukuba nje yonke into yayizolile kwaye ithule, kwaye siza kuyifumana. Esinye isizathu: "Andiyicingi ukuba ndingumqambimanga, kunoko, kubulumko bentombi." Emva kwayo yonke into, umyeni wakhe akafanele athi yonke into, "uTatyana ukholelwa.
Ngenxa yokuba inkokeli yemvakalelo yintombi, kufuneka inqume ukuba yintoni inyaniso yokuxelela umyeni wakhe. Nangona kunjalo, akuyimfuneko ukuba uhambe kakhulu, kuba indoda ikhupha kwaye iyakhohlisa. "Ukuba uhlala efundisa izinto ezincinci, ngoko yintoni na ukuba ayenze ngendlela enkulu?" ucinga. Iingxaki ziqokelela, kwaye ukubuyisela ukuthembela komyeni kuya kuba nzima.
Umsebenzi wowesifazane ukufumana into enjalo yokudibanisa, isitayela esihle kunye nento ecolileyo, ukuze ungayi kuba ngathi "intombazana" engapheliyo kwaye ungaphenduli umyeni wakhe abe ngumntu okhuselayo. Iimaski ezinjalo kunye "nokugembula" kwisigxina esondeleyo sentsapho akukhuselekanga. Musa ukukhutshwa ngokujonga ukufundwa kweengcamango kumyeni, ngoko akafanele ahlaziswe ngenxa yokwenza ukuba "ungene ngaphakathi."
Ukuvuma komfazi okhohlisiweyo
U-Nadezhda uthi: "Umyeni wam uNicholas uyindoda enhle, kodwa uxoka ngokuqinileyo, kwaye ubuxoki bakhe buqotshelwe ngomcaka omhlophe," kusho uNadezhda, "ndihlala ndifumana apho wayichitha imali kwifenitshala, okanye naye wayelisela ubhiya izolo. ukuba umyeni akayi kuhlawula ifowuni okanye indlu, kwaye undixelele ukuba uhlawule yonke into, kwaye uya kufika iirisiti eziphindaphindiweyo - ndingathini na? U-Nikolay uyafihla ukuba wathatha imali kuba uyazi ukuba andithandi. kwaye umyeni wakhe akanakuze athembele kuyo. Zonke iziganeko zakhe zobuxoki ziyingqungquthela, kodwa utsho bam ubomi ".
Ithemba liyixabisa kakhulu intsapho yakhe kwaye ayiyi kutshatyalaliswa, ngoko wazama iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo zokuthintela indoda yakhe - isongelo, iinyembezi, izandi, kodwa akukho nto incedisayo. Ukuyiqonda imeko, kufuneka ufike kwizantsi yezizathu ezinokunyanzelisa umyeni wakhe kwiintshutshiso ezincinci kunye neendlela.
Njengomntwana, u-Nikolai wakhulela kwintsapho eneendlela ezigunyazisiweyo zokuba ngumzali: uyise nomama baqhubeka bephinda baxelele unyana wakhe ukuba "unokulahlekelwa yithemba ngonaphakade." Ukucacisa le nkwenkwe kwakufana nenjongo yabazali bakhe, ngoko uNikolai ujwayele ukubika yonke into ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ukuba ekhulile, wafunda ukuzikhusela - ukuxoka, ukuze angabikho ubushushu bakhe kubazali. Abantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezinjalo bayakhalaza: "Ukuba unyoko okanye utata wakho uthetha inyaniso, yimbi ngakumbi, yintoni enye into efunekayo?" Umntwana ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lwabazali bakhe nokuphepha indima yecala, kulula kakhulu ukuthetha ubuxoki. Ukuphendula okunjalo kuya kutshatyalaliswa kwintsapho yakhe kamva. Enyanisweni, yindlela ephendula ngayo.
UNicholas, ezama ukuba ngumyeni omhle, ulala phantsi kwayo yonke into, kwaye akakhathaleli ukuba inkohliso iya kuziveza. Inyani kukuba indlela yokukhusela kwinqanaba elingaphantsi kwengqondo kunye nomkhwa, ophuhlisiwe ukususela ebuntwaneni, unamandla kunokwakheka kwengqiqo. "Munchhausen Syndrome" ayiyona into yokucinga, kodwa kunoko, imiphumo yobuntlungu obukhulu. Ngaloo ndlela, umntu uyaziphepha iimvakalelo kunye neentloni. Ingakumbi abantu abaninzi balala kunye ne "superman" ezinzima. Ukuzama ukuphucula kuyo yonke into (umsebenzi, impumelelo kunye namandla), uveza umfanekiso "Ndihlala ndikho konke u-O'K". Emehlweni enkosikazi, indoda enjalo ngokuchaseneyo ibonakala ibuthathaka kwaye iphosa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umntu ufuna ukuphepha isigwebo. Iqabane lijongana nale ndlela ehluke ngokupheleleyo, ivakalelwa ngokungekho sikweni, ingayihloneli, imizwa iyatshisa emphefumlweni wakhe: uyayithanda kwaye uyayithiya indoda yakhe, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha imeko ibonakala iyingozi kwaye ingenathemba kuye.
Kuphawulwa ukuba ekuqaleni umfazi uphatha njengomama olawulayo. Kodwa ukusabela okunjalo akuyikusombulula impikiswano: umyeni uyazi ukuba unina "uya kuqonda aze athethelele yonke into," kwaye emva kokunyanzelisa, uya kumthanda kwakhona. Emva koko le nxaxheba ingenakubekezelelwa kumfazi - uyaqhankqalaza, ahlele amacandal. Ukulawula rhoqo kunye nentukuthelo ayidluli ngaphandle komkhondo, isigaba sokukhulelwa siqala. Kwimeko embi kakhulu, ibhinqa liziva likhuselekile, okanye, likhupha isandla sayo kumyeni wayo, liba ngumkhuhlane kwaye lifuna ukutshintshwa.
Ukuthintela intlekele enjalo, kufuneka udibanise kwisisombululo esincinane kwisingxaki, zama ukunceda umyeni wakhe aphinde avuselele indlela awasabela ngayo. Kodwa khumbula ukuba iziganeko ezibangelwa ubuntwaneni azikwazi ukunqotshwa ngomzuzwana omnye.
Indlela amadoda alala ngayo
Ukuba ngokwemvelo ukuqonda, abafazi baye bafunda kakuhle ukukhohliswa kwamadoda abo. Kwaye bayazi ukuba baxwayise baze baxolele. Nantsi uluhlu oluthile lwezinto eziqhelekileyo zokukopela.
- Ibhinqa ihlala ilungile. Igama lomfazi ngumthetho. Ukuqinisekisa oku, indoda ayikholelwa ngamagama akhe. Kunoko, uyayifaka. Ukuva oku okuvela emlonyeni wendoda yakho, ungalindelanga ukuba uqala ngokukhawuleza ukuzalisekisa yonke i-whims yakho, ukuhlambalaza umntwana, ukuhlamba izitya nokuhlamba. Le ndoda, hayi, ayiyilwi lokulwa namalungelo amabhinqa.
- Kwafuneka ndihlale emsebenzini, ukongezelela - kwindlela eyingozi yendlela yokuhamba. Owesifazane okhaliphile akaze athathe la mazwi ngokungathí sina, nokuba acacise umyeni wakhe. Iphunga elincinci lebhiya lizithetha ngokwalo.
- Wena kum, umgudu, ontle kunye noqoqosho. Ngokucacileyo umntu ufuna ukuphepha kwindawo yokucoca. Inhlanganisela echukumisayo yobuhle kunye noqoqosho alukwazi ukufikelela kwikhosi yemvelo yengcamango yomntu.
- Ndandinamakhulu amabhinqa amahle. Ungowesibini ibhinqa ebomini. Zombini iinkcazo zilinganayo. Nokuba ufuna ukubukeka njengoDon Juan, okanye ulindele ukunyamekela kwakho nokudibanisa. Bobabini ukuba, kunye nezinye izinto zokuthobela, ukunyanzela umfazi kwisenzo socansi.
- Drank kuphela 50 grams. Ukuphendula okunzulu okunjalo kubonisa ukuba basele kakhulu kwaye bahluke. Buza ukuba ngubani umyeni ophuzayo, kwaye uya kucinga. Umntu onobucaka akaze acacise indlela asela ngayo.
- Akuzange kube naliphi na umfazi ongenakuvakalelwa kukuba ... Umyeni ufuna ukuba yedwa wakho, ngoko mxelele ukuba ukholwa kuyo - makumqabise.
Indlela abafazi balala ngayo
"Ibhinqa kufuneka libe yimfihlo yindoda kwaye ingalokothi ixelele inyaniso," - ngoko ithi ininzi yesini efanelekileyo. Ukuvula ngokukhawuleza kunye nokugqithiseleyo kunobungozi kulwalamano. Ngaphezulu kweyodwa ndandiva kubantu ukuba bahamba ngokukhawuleza kwaye bavulelekileyo kubafazi - xa kungekho mfihlelo kunye nentlonelo, ukungathandabuzeki kunye nokuthandana, kubangele. Ibhinqa akufanele liyihoye loo mpendulo.
Kulo mfazi, oku akulona amanga:
- kwixesha elithile libale ixesha labo lekhalenda;
- ngaphantsi kwamaxesha ama-3-4 iindleko zomlomo (ukuze ungalimazi umyeni wakhe ngezinto ezincinci);
- ngenxa yendaba ebangel 'umdla, ekuqaliseni iinkcukacha ezimbala kunye nokuziveza kakhulu ngokomoya - iStanislavskaya iphumula nje;
- kwingxoxo nomntu ukuba adumise ukubonakala kwakhe, nangona ngeveki yezicathulo ezingatshitshiyo nezingcolileyo.
Izalathisi zasekhaya zamanga
Akuyimfuneko endlwini ukuba ibe nesicatshulwa esinzima njengomtshini wamanga. Yaye nangona yonke intokazi ibeneempawu zokukhohlisa abathembekileyo, iingqondo zeengqondo ziye zakha iipatheni ezithile.
Imisebenzi yokuvala. Lo mntu uhlala efihla izandla zakhe emapokothini akhe. Kwintetho encinciza umlomo ngesandla. Isebenza kumahlombe okanye ubuso.
Ukuhamba komzimba. Indoda ingakwazi ukunyanzela amanxeba akhe kunye ne-grin. Iqhina lakhe likhwankqisa intambo yakhe, indoda yakhe idonsa intambo yakhe, engafuni ukufumana iinkcukacha zento eyenzekayo, kwaye uyakhawuleza ukuphelisa intetho. Ukukhwehlela okufakelwayo kunye nokunyakaza.
Iimpawu zamehlo. Amehlo ajika kwaye ekhangele kude.
Kufuneka ukwazi
Indlela yokusabela kumanga
Njengomntu oyisilumko uthe, emva kokuqhawula umtshato kathathu wafunda ukunqumka. Nangona kunjalo, oku akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi: "Hayi, yintoni ekhethekileyo malunga nomntu onokukhohlisa umfazi?" Ewe, ndisela i-vodka ngaphandle kwemfuno okanye imali "zanykal", yikho konke, kwaye ke, ndithenge iingubo zoboya, i-perfume, i-lipstick. ngenxa yezinto ezingenangqondo?! " Nasi isiluleko esinjalo esilula.
Amanqaku angaphandle angamadoda namabhinqa ahlukeneyo.
Indoda, xa ithe yalala, iyaba nobudlova, ayibukeli umdibaniselwano, iphefumula i-intermittently, ithetha kwiitoni eziphakanyisiweyo, idlulisela iminwe yakhe ebusweni, inokuthi igxume kwaye iphume ngaphandle kwegumbi.
Ibhinqa kule meko idla ngokumomotheka ngokungabonakaliyo, ithetha ilizwi lomntwana, litshintsha iingubo zakhe, litshintshe unyawo lwakhe emlenzeni wayo kwaye lugqithise kaninzi kunexesha eliqhelekileyo.
Kodwa ubukhulu bamanga obuvela kumgangatho abuxhomeki. Ngokwezibalo ze-psychologists zaseMerika, amadoda nabesifazana banamanqanaba afanayo-aphakathi kwama-5 ukuya kuma-20 ngamaxesha ngamaxesha.