Ukungabikho koba umntwana uvakalelwa kakhulu, akusoloko esichazela yonke imizwa yakhe yokubonisa. Umntwana uvame ukucinga ukuba uyise uyaziyeka, kwaye le nkathazo inokuhlala naye iminyaka emininzi, ngoko iingxaki zokukhuliswa kwintsapho engaphelelwanga yodwa yabazali bomntwana kuqala. Ubunzima bezinto eziphathekayo kubangela ukuba umfazi asebenze ngomvuzo ophezulu, kwaye ngoko ke umsebenzi ophezulu, owenzela ixesha lokukhulula umntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwimeko enjalo, unesivakalelo sokunxila kunye nokushiya, kuquka umama.
Ngethuba lokuqala emva kokuqhawula umtshato, uyise uhlala edibana rhoqo nomntwana. Kubonakala ngathi iingxaki zokukhulisa umntwana kwintsapho engaphelelanga akufanele ukuba, kuba uTata uhlala ekhona.
Kwaye, oku kukunye into enomdla, kuba ukuba upapa umphatha ngothando, ngoko ukwahlukana kwentsapho kuya kuba yinto engaqondakaliyo kwaye ibuhlungu, ngaphandle koko, ukucaphuka komama nokungathembeki kunokuvusa. Kwimeko apho uyise uya kunxibelelana ngokukhawuleza kwaye ekude, umntwana unokuba neengxaki zetyala ngenxa yokungafuni ukuthetha nomzali onjalo. Konke oku, abazali banokuphindezela, kwaye oku kuphulaphule ukulinganisela kwengqondo yengane. Unokuzama ukufumana iingenelo ezingekho phantsi kokungaboni ngaso linye kwabazali bakhe, kubaphoqa ukuba bazivelele kwiimvakalelo zetyala zabazali bobabini.
Ubudlelwane kunye nabahlobo phakathi kwabantwana banokuhlala behla ngenxa yemibuzo eyahlukeneyo, ukuhleka nokungafuni umnqweno wokuphendula imibuzo malunga nobawo. Imvakalelo embi kunye neemvakalelo zikaMama zibonakaliswa kumntwana, kwimeko yakhe entsha kunzima kakhulu kuye ukuqhubeka nokukhulisa umntwana wakhe kwizinga eliphezulu.
Yintoni engacetyiswa ngolu hlobo ukuxhasa ukukhuliswa komntwana kwintsapho engaphelelanga? Okokuqala kukho konke kufuneka uxoxe ngentliziyo yakhe ngentliziyo elinganayo, uchaze imeko yonke, yenza ngendlela elula kwaye ifumaneka, ngaphandle kokugxeka umntu. Ukuxelela ukuba oku kwenzekayo, ngelanga, ngokuqhelekileyo, kwaye kwimeko enje kuya kuba ngcono ngale ndlela. Kubalulekile ukuxelela umntwana ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba esi sigqibo sokugqibela, ngaloo ndlela sisindise kwiingxaki ezingenasidingo kunye nethemba. Zonke ukutyelela okungaqhelekanga kayise ziya kuhlala zivuselela ukuvalelwa, ngelishwa, oku akunakukhunjulwa. Umncinci umntwana usebudeni bekhefu, kulula ukuba ubaba athathe inxaxheba. Kubalulekile ukuzama ukulungiselela umntwana ngengqondo ngokuhamba kwipapa. Kufuneka uphephe ukuxhomekeka komntwana okuqhubekayo kuwe, kufuneka umncede abe ngumntu ozimeleyo kunye omdala, kodwa umxhaswe ngexesha elifanayo. Impazamo eqhelekileyo kule meko yonyameko kunye nokulawula phezu kwonyana.
Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu unokuhlangabezana namazwi omfazi: "Ndiyincama yonke into kwaye ndihlala kuwe kuphela!" Le yiphutha eliyingozi abantu abaninzi abaye bavumela, ngenxa yoko kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhulise umntu ongenakuthatyathwa, ongenakunqunyulwa, ongenakunqwenela ukuba zonke izigqibo ezibalulekileyo zihlala zithathwa ngumama, iingxaki zokukhuliselwa zazigqityiweyo ebomini bakhe bobuqu obungakaze kwenzeke.
Kubalulekile ukucebisa abazali abanesizathu esithile ukuba baqhawule umtshato ukuze bacinge ngakumbi ngemiphumo eyongezelelweyo yesi sigqibo kubantwana. Ukungavumelani phakathi kweso sitshatileyo kungenziwa isigqibo ngokuphandle kwaye ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyifunayo. Akuyimfuneko ukubonisa inzondo nokungathandeki komnye nomnye. Kungokwemvelo kunzima ubaba owashiya intsapho ukuba aqhubeke ephakamisa umntwana. Kwaye ukuba imeko ivela apho angenakukuchaphazela ngokuqinisekileyo intsapho yakhe yangaphambili, kuya kuba yinyaniso ngakumbi ukuqinisekisa ukuba umkhohlile kuye konke, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo ukunceda abantwana bakhe ngemali.
Ubume bentsapho bubaluleke kakhulu kwaye bubalulekileyo. Ukuba ngaba abazali bayayithanda ngokwenene abantwana babo, baya kuzama ukulungisa ukungafani kwabo ngexesha kwaye bangayifaki loo nto kwinqanaba elidlulileyo lomtshato. Ngaloo ndlela, abayi kubeka abantwana kwindawo enzima kakhulu kwaye baya kubambisana ngokuqhubekayo ekufundiseni kwinqanaba elifanelekileyo, bebonisa umzekelo wentsapho epheleleyo kunye ebumbeneyo. Ngoku uyazi indlela yokuphepha iingxaki zokukhulisa umntwana kwintsapho engaphelelanga kunye nokubonelela umntwana ngobomi obupheleleyo.