Emva kwakho konke, ukungabikho komsebenzi ongabonakaliyo akuyi kuphelisa ngokwawo-kwaye, kungabi namathuba okuphuma ngaphandle, ulawula amandla ayo okubhubhisa ngaphakathi, iimvakalelo ezimbi zabantu kunye nokunyaniseka.
Kwiminyaka emva nje, kunye nokuphuhliswa kwezesayensi ye-psychosomatics, enye imbono iyaba yithandwa kakhulu: ukucacisa ngokucacileyo nayiphi na enye (!) Imvakalelo yomntu, iimvakalelo ezimbi zabantu kunye nokunyaniseka. Ngelishwa, abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba indlela evulekileyo ishicilela iingxaki zakho zemvakalelo kwabanye.
Zombini ezi zicwangciso zokuziphatha kweemvakalelo ezibi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka zigqithiseleyo, kwaye igolide isho ukuthini ukuqonda uhlobo lweemvakalelo zabo nokuba mhlawumbi bafumane indlela eyakhayo kubo okanye ukuba baphinde bahlaziye. Sincoma ukuba ufumene indlela yokwenza ngayo ukuba iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo zihlukumeze wena, umntwana wakho, okanye xa uhlala kuluntu oluxhatshazwayo.
Ubume beemvakalelo
Iingcali zengqondo ziyazi ukuba iipelenti zeemvakalelo ezimbi, iimvakalelo ezibi zomntu kunye nobuqhetseba bukhanya ngakumbi kwaye bubanzi kunokuba zivuyiswe: oku kuyingqayizivele yesimo sethu sengqondo, esifakwe yimbali yoluntu. Kwixesha la mandulo, umsindo, ukwesaba, uburhalabhile kwakubalulekile: ukuba ngokufanelekileyo, ungabi nomsindo phambi kwelifa, awuyi kunqoba intshaba. Yaye ukuba ungeyiki ngexesha, awuyi kuba nexesha lokuphuma kwi-tiger. Ukongezelela, amava amaninzi ayimfuneko kuthi sizinze, silinganise imeko yangaphakathi: emva kokunyuka kwenjabulo kulandela ukuhla kwehla.
Nangona kunjalo, sonke sinamava ngamaxesha ngamaxesha, ukudumala, ukucaphuka, umsindo, ukucaphuka, iimvakalelo ezimbi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka. Into ephambili kukuba iimvakalelo akufanele ziholele, kodwa thina. IBhayibhile ithi: "Musa ukwenza isono xa utyhafile." Ngamanye amazwi, ukufumana umsindo ngumvelo kumntu. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba uhlala kweli lizwe, unokukwazi kwaye ufanele wenze ngokufanelekileyo.
Funda ukuthetha
Thatha ngokucacileyo ukuba awukwazi ukuhlala isigxina kwimeko yokuthanda uxolo kwaye ujabule ngokukodwa into eyenzekayo kuwe. Kukho nantoni na into enokukukhupha ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, kuxhomekeke kuwe ngokwakho, kwizinto oza kuzilawula amandla akho angqondo: ukutshabalalisa okanye ukudala. Okokuqala, unqabe unamahloni ngamava akho "angalunganga", iimvakalelo ezibi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka - ziyingxenye yakho, kwaye unelungelo kubo. Xa utyhafa lweemvakalelo ziphuma, zama ukuhlalutya okwenzekayo kwaye uqonde uhlobo luni lweziganeko ezibangele ukuphendulwa komsindo, ukwesaba okanye intukuthelo yakho. Masithi umyeni ukhohliwe ngomcimbi womtshato wakho kwaye ukhubekile. Nangona kunjalo, indlela yokubangela ukuphendula okunjalo yayingekho yonke into ekhethiweyo ye "amnesia" yabathembekileyo, kodwa inyaniso yokuba, akunokwenzeka ukuba uyinto engadingekile kwaye ingabalulekanga. Cinga malunga nendlela yokuphepha ukubonakaliswa okungekho nto kwixesha elizayo. Mhlawumbi kubalulekile ukukhumbuza iqabane lakho malunga nemikhosi ezayo kwiintsuku ezimbalwa - kwaye oko kukuphela kwayo? Myeke "ukucinga" ngenxa yintanda: uyakuthanda, kodwa wayiyikhumbula loo mhla!
Ukunciphisa imizwa engakhiyo yomntu kunye nokunyaniseka ngendlela eyakhayo. Kwimeko yoluntu kukho iifom zokuthobela ukuziphatha okuzenzekelayo: ibhola lebhola okanye ikhontekithi apho unokumemeza ngokusemandleni akho; ibhokisi, apho ungabetha khona umdlali-ntliziyo esuka kwintliziyo; imidlalo ehlukeneyo yeqela. Ekugqibeleni, xa kushushu, xa uvakalelwa kukuba into enokuthi ingenakukwazi ukuphuma emlonyeni wakho, ugijimela egumbini elilandelayo uze ukhawuleze emlanjeni, ugibele ngokufanelekileyo kunye neenyawo zakho ezinqabileyo okanye uzibethe kwi-toy elula-umsindo uya kuphuma emzimbeni uze uqhube ukulwa nabathandekayo kuya kuncitshiswa.
Ndingathanda ukubona izizathu zeemvakalelo ezimbi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka kuya kuba ngaphantsi nangaphantsi? Zama umsebenzi obizwa ngokuba nguwe ewe. Ngethuba elincinci leentsuku ezintathu, sebenzisa isivumelwano esipheleleyo kunye nayo yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini bakho. Ngokomzekelo, uyaphule imoto. Cinga ngelo, mhlawumbi ngale ndlela, iNkosi ikukhusela kwiziganeko ezingathandekiyo endleleni. Okwangoku, imoto iya kugqitywa, ungashiya i-metro imihla ngemihla ukuze uhambe ngeenyawo kwaye uhambe ngeenyawo, kwisigqi esinomdla, kunye nomculo ovuya kumdlali - iiveki ezimbalwa zoqeqesho, kwaye akuyi kuba khona ukulandelelana kwe-fat "ebusika"! Ekuqaleni, ukuqhuba uwonke "ewe" akuyi kuba lula, kunokuphazamiseka - ungaphelelwa lithemba, vele ubuyele endleleni efanelekileyo, ngokukhawuleza ukuba uqaphela ukuba uyishiye.
Umzimba nomphefumlo
Smile, uhlambe!
Abanelisekanga ngonaphakade, abacaphukisa ngokugqithiseleyo, bonke abantu nabo bonke abantu abalulekayo kubonakala bekhuthazwa yinjongo enye: ukukhupha abantu ngaphandle kwabo. Ezo zinto "zithandana nomoya" ziphina nawuphi na umsebenzi nakweyiphi inkampani, ngelizwi, nakunoma yimuphi umqoqo. Akunakubalekela kuyo nayiphi na indawo - kodwa unako kwaye kufuneka ufunde ukubambisana nabo.
Okokuqala, uziqhelise ukuba ungabandakanyeki kwiimvakalelo ezimbi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka kwimeko yomntu womntu. Ngokukhawuleza xa uphelelwa ngumsindo, waphendula impendulo ebukhali efanayo - cinga ukuba umququzeleli uphumelele: wakhupha ngaphandle. Awuthandi? Yenzani ngenye indlela. Ukuhleka kweentlanzi, ukuzola, ukuchukumisa okunomdla kungaphazamisa nayiphi na into. Ngendlela, wena, ngokuqinisekileyo, akufuneki ukuba ukhuphisane nomoni kwaye uchithe ixesha kunye namandla okwenza i-retort ibe yinto engaqhelekanga. Awazi na ukuba uthini? Zomane uze uxubise amahlombe akho.
Umntu onobubele unengqondo ngakumbi kwaye unqabiseke ngakumbi kunokuba ubuso bakhe buhlanekezwe ngumsindo. Iqondo elihle lokuzihlaziya likhupha uxinzelelo kwaye kwangoko likhupha imeko - kwaye imeko engathandekiyo ilahlekelwa ngamandla phezu kwethu.
Ukuba umntu ohlaselayo kunye neqhwabalala ehamba ngendlela yakho ngandlela-thile, ucinga ngoku. Abantu abahlawulileyo kunye ne "ukudlula" iziganeko ezikhoyo kubomi bethu azenzeki: yonke intlanganiso, yonke imeko (nokuba yinto engathandekiyo) inokusifundisa into ebalulekileyo. Ukongezelela, ukujikeleza - esi sibuko sethu: into echaphazela abanye abantu yinto asiyi kwamkela kwaye ayikwazi ukuzixolela. Kwaye mhlawumbi i-aggressors ibonakala ebomini bakho ukuze ekugqibeleni ufunde indlela yokuthi "cha" ngokucacileyo kwaye ukhusele imida yengingqi yakho yengqondo? Kule meko, kufuneka usebenze ngokuzithemba kwakho-xa umntu ekhupha ngokuzithemba kwangaphakathi, inani lalabo abafuna "ukukhwela" entanyeni yanciphisa ngandlela-thile.
Ungazibeki umgomo wokuphinda uphinde ufundise ulwaphulo-mthetho: ukuziphatha kuyaxhamla ngokwabo, kwaye abantu abacaphukileyo bayenza njengengqumbo ebomvu kwinkomo. Ekugqibeleni, asinakuguqula ihlabathi - kodwa xa sitshintsha isimo sethu sengqondo kwizinto ezenzekayo, imimangaliso iyenzeka!
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ingxoxo iya kuba yimpikiswano, iimvakalelo ezimbi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka, zama ukushiya indawo yombambano: phantsi kweengcamango ezicacileyo, shiya imizuzu embalwa ukusuka kwigumbi. Ukuba akukho ndlela yokwenza oku, zama ukuzimisa kumxhaphazi, qala ukuthetha ngelizwi elithulekileyo, elingafihlakeleyo (ilizwi elincinci lelizwikazi lezentombi). Zama ukuma (uhlale) ngokuphambene nomdlali-kungcono ukuhlala kumgama omncinane kuye.
Ngaba kukho ingxaki? Kukho isisombululo!
Inomdla yabantu abaphumeleleyo
Yeka ukuziqhathanisa nabanye! Endaweni yokubandezeleka ngenxa yokungapheleli kobomi bakho, gxininisa ekuphuhliseni iimfanelo zakho.
Ukrokra
Nathi kwenzeka ntoni oko sikulindeleyo, ngoko uzinqande ngokukhawuleza ukupheqa kwintloko yakho. Funda ukuthemba ubomi.
Ukuphululwa kwezicwangciso (ukuhamba kweendlela, ukulibazisa, njl.)
Yiba nezimo, kwaye izicwangciso zokwakha, zihlala zicingela amathuba okugandeleka, iimvakalelo ezibi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka. Yithatha i-audiobook okanye i-mini-glider ukuzalisa okulindelekileyo.
Ukulindela okungekho sikweni
Abantu abakujikelezayo abakwazi ukuqaphela iiminqweno zakho - azinalo i-telepaths. Ngoko mabazise into oyifunayo - ngokuzinzile nangenakho isikhalazo. Yaye khumbula ukuba abanye abantu akudingeki bahlangabezane nazo zonke iimfuno zakho.
Ukukhwabanisa okungalindelekanga
Uxakeke kwi-minibus okanye kumgca? Smile uze uyilahle ngaphandle kwentloko yakho! Intukuthelo kuwe ukulila umntu othile? Yilungiselele into enomdla kwaye ingagqithani ngokupheleleyo malunga neengxabano (umyeni onyantyantyala uzinikezele ukwenza ukudibanisa, umntwana ongathobeliyo uphazamisekile ngefestile).
Inkathazo yexesha kuzo zonke iindawo
Ukususela ngamaxesha "ukukhusela" kwenzeka kumntu ngamnye. Udinga ukubuyisela izinto eziliwaka ngokukhawuleza, uzama okusemandleni akho, uxinzelele kwaye, ekugqibeleni, uvakalelwa kukuba ulahlekelwa ngulo mqathango. Ungathini apha ukugcina umhlaba phantsi kweenyawo zakho? Hlaziya! Ixesha elininzi likhoyo, ngubani ongenakukhawuleza. Ngoko yenza uluhlu lwemiba yakho yonke, ubanike ngokubaluleka kunye nokuphuthuma kwaye uqale ngento enye. Ngoko, ngaphandle kokukhawuleza, inyathelo ngesinyathelo uzakujongana nayo yonke "i-debris" yakho.
Umntwana akayithobeli
Kulo nje izolo, ukuthobela nokuthandana, namhlanje uguqulwe waba ngumntu onenkani, ophendula zonke iziphakamiso zakho: "Hayi". Kuyinto evamile - ebomini kwindoda encinci kukho ixesha apho ehamba njengomntu. Ukuqhawuka komsindo kunye nokungathobeli kuyabonwa
kubantwana abaninzi, ngakumbi kwiminyaka emithathu, kwiminyaka emithandathu-sixhenxe, kunye nakwiminyaka yobudala. Kanti uvumelane ne-little tomboy yinyani. Hlaziya imeko kwintsapho, kuba ukuziphatha kwonyana okanye intombi ihlala ibonisa i-microclimate endlwini. Ukungathobeli, ukulwa, ukuhlambalaza kungabangela umgangatho ogqithiseleyo, imfundo "yempi", ukuxabana okuphakathi kwabazali okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukubanda kwengqondo kumama okanye ubaba. Kule meko, ukuxazulula ingxaki yeemvakalelo ezimbi zomntu kunye nokunyaniseka, abazali kufuneka bahlaziywe, okokuqala, indlela yabo yokucinga.
Zama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zomntwana, ukujonga imeko ngamehlo akhe. Kanye kunye nosana, bhala iqhinga lomntwana okanye uxoxe ngomdwebo we-crumb. Mbuze imibuzo: "Kutheni umlingisi oyintloko wenza oku kwaye njalo njalo?", "Ufuna ntoni?", "Kutheni kuthatha ukuba athole oko akufunayo?". Iimpendulo ze-karapuza ziyakunceda uqonde iimfuno zakhe zokwenyaniso.
"Usuku oluchasene" luyimini (umzekelo, kanye kanye ngeveki), xa konke kuvunyelwe: ukuhamba ngaphambi kokuhlwa kwasemini kwiipaijama, ungahlambululi, ungazitshizi amazinyo zakho, udle i-ayisikrimu ngokuhlwa kwasemini, uphonse imithwalo uze utywebe ngomlomo. Le ndlela ivumela umntwana ukuba akhiphe ukuxhatshazwa okuqokelelwayo, asuse umphumo wesityalo esinqatshelwe, uyomeleza ukuthembela phakathi kwabazali nomntwana wabo.
Njengesijeziso semvakalelo embi yomntu kunye nokunyaniseka, zama ukungawasebenzisi amandla. Ewe, sonke sabantu kunye nawo wonke umama senzekile ukuze siphalazele ukuphelelwa ngumonde nopapapa. Nangona kunjalo, ungathathi nxamnye nesohlwayo se-corporal-kule ngxaki, ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana iya kukhankanywa: ngokuphendula ngamandla, unokufaka isicelo nangaphezulu, kwaye kuya kuba, ngoluvo lwakho. Kungcono ukuba njengesijeziso, kungekhona imvakalelo yabantu kunye nokunyaniseka (ukuma ekhoneni, ukuxhamla kunye neentonga) kusetyenziswa, kodwa ukulahla into entle (ukubukela iibhotole, ukuthenga ithoyilo entsha, njl.).