Okokuqala, umona kukungakhuselekanga komntu ngaphakathi kuye, ukuba unokuthandwa ngaphandle kwesizathu, kungabi nasinye isizathu kunokuba ungubani, ngaphandle kokufuna into ngaphandle kokuthandana ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Njengomthetho, umona ungumpawu kulabo abangazange bamkele uthando lwabazali ebuntwaneni, okanye umntu oye wabhekana nokukhohlisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ebomini. Abantu abanjalo balahlekelwa ukholo ngokwabo, amandla abo nokholo kwabanye abantu. Ukushiswa kanye, bahlaziywa ngamaxesha amaninzi kwixesha elizayo. Eyona ndlela ingcono kwiimeko ezi tyelela i-psychologist efanelekileyo kwaye isebenze naye, idibana neengcali. Le ndlela enye yezona zinto zilula ukunqoba umona.
Kuye kwagqithwa ixesha elide ukuba umntu ovuma izizathu kunye neemeko zomona unomona onomona. Emva koko ucinge ngako, mhlawumbi kukuthi? Ngokutshintsha, ngokwakha ubudlelwane kwicala, uqala ukukrokraza kunye kunye neqabane lakho. Ngoko mhlawumbi awudingi ngoko ubuhlobo obusayikubuxabisa kwaye apho uvumele omnye umntu ebomini bakho.
Okokuqala, ziqonde, kodwa ngaba zikho izizathu nezizathu zokuba nomona? Mhlawumbi konke kukungaqiniseki kwakho? Ukuba kunjalo, zinyamekele, ukwandise ukuzithemba kwakho. Ukuba unomona ogqithiseleyo, uphathisa ubomi bobabini kunye nomthandayo. Cinga kwakhona ngobomi bakho. Zama ukutshintsha. Musa ukuxhaphaza wena, okanye iqabane, okanye abantu abajikelezile.
Kodwa, ukuba unesizathu esivakalayo sokuba nomona, ke ucinge malunga nokuba ufuna umntu onokuthenjwa? Ngaba ulungele ixesha elide ukunyamezela ukunyamezela kwakhe nokudlala ngothando? Kwiimeko ezifanayo kulula ukuhlukana nomntu onjalo kwaye uzikhusele kwiimvakalelo ezimbi kunye nomona.
Ukuba uthembele kumntu osondeleyo, kodwa qhubeka ukhwele, khuluma nomlingane wakho. Cacisa umona wakho. Mxelele ukuba uyamthemba, ukuba unomona onomona, ukuba uya kusebenza wena kwaye ulwe nomona. Ukuze unqobe umona, mcele ukuba akunyamekele ngakumbi kwaye anganikeli nantoni encinane yokuba nomona ngelixa unzima nale ntlungu. Ukuba uyakuthanda, uya kuqonda kwaye ancede kulo msebenzi, uya kunika inkxaso ngenkxaso yokulwa nomona.
Funda ukuthembela lakho iqabane. Ukuphucula ubuhlobo bakho, sebenza kuwo. Amadoda awayekanga kubafazi abahlala nabo, kwaye awutshintshi. Kodwa ukuba uhlala utyhola iqabane lakho, ngoko ubuncinci ukusuka kumoya ophikisanayo, uya kwenza oko uya kumthuka. Ungaze ulalele ukuhleka ngawe kunye neqabane lakho. Ufuna ukunqothula umona ngokukhawuleza, uze ungaqhubeki ukuba kwenzeke; ungaqwalasela incwadi yefowuni, i-SMS-correspondence, ipokethi, iincwadi. Kuthekani ukuba awuyithandi into oyifumanayo? Ukukhweleka komzimba kungabhaliswa kwintetho engabamsulwa yabahlobo ababini ukuba bafumane ingxaki enkulu. Akumangalisi ukuba bathi ukwesaba kunamehlo. Uloyiko lokukhohliswa, uloyiko lokungcatsha, ngoko uya kubona kwaye uphendule apho ungakaze ube khona.
Ikhwele yindlela elula yokuchitha ubuhlobo. Ukuba uyakuthanda kwaye uyathandwa, kungcono ukwenza imizamo kwaye unqobe umona. Thembela iqabane lakho kwaye ungazenzi izizathu ezingakumbi zokuhleba kunye nomona.