Lo mzuzu unzima ebomini ngamnye wethu. Emva kokuhlukana, siyaxhatshazwa sisulu, sinoyiko lokuba asiyi kufumana uthando lwethu kwaye ayiyi kuvuya.
Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Ngenxa yokuba umntu akakwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kokuziva ukuba uyathandwa, kwaye entliziyweni yakhe, naye uyakuthanda ubomi. Uthando luvakalelo oluhle, sisichukumise elowo kuthi sisebenzise. Uthando lunika amaphiko kunye nenjongo yolonwabo. Kwaye uthando lwakho luyekile, ucinezelekile, uzama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni le nto yenzeka kwaye yintoni oyenzayo ngokulandelayo?
Enyanisweni, isizathu sokuphuka kobudlelwane nokungabikho kokuqonda. Kwaye, bonke abanye - ukungabikho kwemali, "isondo asifani" - ezi ziphumo ezimbi. Xa kungekho ngqiqo phakathi kwabalingani, abayi kufumana ulwimi olufanayo kwaye abayi kuba nethuba lokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye obuhlala njalo.
Ngoko ke, xa udibana nothando olutsha, hlalutya uze uzame ukuqonda ukuba ngobudlelwane bakho obudlulileyo "kwakungekho njalo" kwaye uzame ukuphepha iingxaki ezifanayo kwimilamano yanamhlanje. Okuthiwa "umsebenzi kwiipazamo" kuya kukunceda ukukhusela iimpazamo zangomso, kukugcine kwiingxaki kunye nobukhulu.
Wonke umntu uphupha intsapho. Njalo xa sidibana nomntu, simmela njengomlingane wethu. Sigijimela, njengesiqhwithi se-whirlpool esinentloko ebuhlobo obutsha. Kwaye, ukuba ngaphambi kokuba bangaqondanga iimpazamo zangaphambilini, siza kuhamba ngegama elinye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kuphelile ukukhumbula ukuba ubudlelwane ngumsebenzi onzima nobunzima.
Uqala njani ulwalamano olutsha?
Yamkela ihlabathi kunye nabantu abakungeenxa-njengoko kungenjalo, kodwa ubomi bakho bulula kakhulu. Yiba nomonde kwaye ungazami ukutshintsha okhethiweyo. Lo awunomsebenzi onombulelo, akuyi kubakho uvuyo kuwe, kulo msebenzi ongenanto.
Thatha ihlazo lakho kwizenzo zomntu wakho. Akukho mntu ukhuselekile ukwenza iimpazamo, njengawe. Kwaye abantu abanamandla kuphela abanokubukeka ebomini bemomotheka kunye nentloni. Kunzima, kodwa kuyafaneleka ukuba ufunde.
Ungalindelanga ukuba indoda yakho iya kugxuma phambi kwakho ize izame ukukholisa yonke imfuno kunye neminqweno yakho. Umlingani wakho naye ungumntu, kunye neengcinga zakhe ngobomi. Akuyena inceku yakho, kwaye akufuneki ukuzalisekisa yonke iminqweno yakho, njengekati eqeqeshiwe.
Ukuze uqale ulwalamano olutsha kwaye ubenze babe nolonwabo ngakumbi kunaphambili, thabathe lonke ihlabathi njengoko kunjalo; Musa ukuzingca, akukho mntu ufunwa nantoni na. Khumbula ukuba xa unika ngokwengeziwe, xa ufumana ukubuyela kwakhona.
Ukukhangela ezinye iindlela zokusombulula ingxabano. Yiba nezimo ezinzulu. Uthando nokuziqhenya yizinto ezingahambelaniyo. Vumelana neqabane lakho, qho ngisisa ingxaki uze uzame ukuphazamisa.
Ungagxeki kwaye uzame ukubheka iimpawu ezilungileyo kumntu wakho. Ukugxeka umntu, ngoko uyonakalisa umnqweno onyanisekileyo, ukuba ube yinto engcono kuwe.
Wonke amava akanakuncedo, kwaye njengoko athi: "into engasibulali isenza sibe namandla." Nangona kunjalo, kukho uluvo lokuba ukuqala ulwalamano olutsha, umntu ufunda kwimpembelelo yamandulo, abe nolwazi oluninzi kwaye unelisekile. Xa sele esaphila ukuhlukana, indoda ayiyi kuzama ukubonisa ubungqina bakhe kumlingani wakhe omtsha. Kwaye uzama ukuhlala ngokuvisisana nokuthanda nje, kwaye uzame ukuvuyisa omnye umntu.