Ngoko, wenzeni ukwenza izicwangciso zakho zifezeke? Ukuqala, kufuneka uxoxe nomhlobo okanye umhlobo, obani oza kunika uncedo olunjalo. Indlela yokusabela kwisiphakamiso sakho inokuba yinto eyahlukileyo kakhulu: ukusuka ekuvuyiseni okungenakuchazwa kwiinkxwaleko ezibuhlungu kunye nokumangalelwa. Ukuba umhlobo wakho (umhlobo) wenqabileyo ukwamkela uncedo, qala uzame ukuhlalisa umntu. Chaza kuye ukuba ungamthandi (wakhe) akakwazi ukuseka ubomi bakhe. Ngokulula, unenanto efanelekileyo yokuthandana, kwaye uyaqonda ukuba lo mntu kunye nomhlobo wakho bafanelwe ithuba lokuzama into ethile, kuba bobabini bahle, banobubele, banobuhle kwaye banomdla. Olu luhlu lunokuqhubeka ngonaphakade, okanye kude kube ngumzuzu xa ubona ukuba umntu osondeleyo onobuqili uqala ukunqumla. Emva koko qwalasela ukuba isiqingatha seemeko sele senziwe kwaye unako ukuqhubela phambili kwizenzo ezingakumbi.
Ngendlela, sele usufumene umviwa ofuna ukuzityhila yona, okanye ngaba le nto ikhona ekuphuhlisweni? Ukuba isitatimende sesibini silungile, ngoko kufuneka ulungise ngokukhawuleza. Unako, umzekelo, cela umfana wakho. Uninzi kunokwenzeka, naye unabo bahlobo abanesidanga abadinga uthando nothando.
Kodwa, ngaphambi kokumzisa kwi-intombi yakho, ukuba uqale, njengokuba, ngendleleni, thetha nalo mfana ngokwakho. Sonke siyabathanda abahlobo bethu njengoko kunjalo, ngoko sithetha ngabo ngokulula (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kungekhona lula) ukunyanisela. Kwintombi yakho ayizange idangele, kukulungele ukukhawuleza ukuba ngaba kufanelekile kulo mfana okanye kufuneka ufune omnye umviwa. Sekunjalo, abantu banomdla okwehlukileyo, kwaye uyayazi into ethanda ngayo intombi yakho, ngoko uyaqonda ukuba lo mntu uya kukwazi ukutsala nokumtsala. Akukho mntu uthi inkwenkwe yakho inomhlobo ombi. Ngokulula, ingaba ngumviwa ongathandekanga ngokupheleleyo kumhlobo wakho othandekayo.
Kwakhona, insizwa enesizungu isenokukhangela emsebenzini (kwiyunivesiti, i-gym, njl). Ngamnye wethu unolwazi olwaneleyo olungenazo zibini. Sisele sazi abalinganiswa babo kwaye abaqhelekanga kwimikhwa. Ngoko ke, ukufumanisa ukuba kuyafaneleka ukuqwalasela lo mbuzo njengomyeni wekamva kumhlobo, kulula kakhulu. Kodwa, kulo mzekelo, kuya kufuneka ugxeke omnye umlingane (umfundi ofunda naye, umfana ovela kuloo gym) ukuba ufuna nje lo mhlobo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngendlela efanelekileyo, akuthathi ixesha elininzi kwaye into ebalulekileyo kukuba uhlele umhla.
Ukuseka indlela yokuqala yokunciphisa umfana kunye nentombazana akuyona into elula. Kubalulekile emva koko konke ukunika yonke into ukuze banandiphelane. Emva koko, ukuba aba bantu banenkathazo, ngoko nayiphi na into ehlazolayo iya kubakhokelela ekubeni baya kuqala ukuziphatha ngokungabonakaliyo kwaye babonise ukuba zabo zingezizo ezilungileyo, kodwa zizinto ezintle kakhulu. Kungenxa yoko, ukucinga ngeentlanganiso, kufuneka wenze ugxininiso oluqinileyo ekuqinisekiseni ukuba bobabini kunye nentombazana zikhululekile kwaye zikhululekile.
Ngoko, unokuzama ukulungelelanisa iqela elincinane ekhaya, shayela isithandwa sakho sodwa kwaye mhlawumbi esinye isibini (ngoko bekungekho ncintiswano, kodwa ayizange ibonakale njengosuku oluphindwe kabini). Indlu iya kuba yinto ecocekileyo neyokuzola, ngenxa yemimoya yasekhaya. Ukongezelela, ukuba abo uzimisele ukunciphisa sele sele bekho ezininzi, baya kuziva bekhululekile. Ngexesha leqela uzama ukutsala iqabane elinokubambisana, ngamanye amaxesha ukwenza njalo ukuba bashiywe bodwa. Zininzi iindlela zokwenza oku. Ubuncinane, thumela le ntombazana ukuba ilandele ukulungiswa kwesidlo, kwaye uthumele umfana ukuba afune ukusika okanye ukuvula ibhotile yewayini. Ukuba banokuthetha ngento ethile, baya kuhlala ekhitshini ixesha elide. Ukuba unolwazi olufanayo phakathi kwala bantu, ungayikhumbula njani le nto ngengozi, ngaloo ndlela ubapha isihloko soqhagamshelwano. Kodwa akukho mfuneko ukuba kuyimfuneko. Abantu abayithandi ulwaphulo-mthetho kumntu, ngoko ke nokuba ngaba bafanelekile omnye komnye, ngenxa yobunzima baya kuqala ukukhangela ingxaki kunye nokuphepha ukunxibelelana. Yonke into kufuneka yenziwe ngokucophelela kwaye i-unobtrusively.
Umhla ophindwe kabini uphinde ukhethe. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza kufuneka abantu balumkise ngalo, kwaye bangabi baqhelana nabo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuninzi ukuqala ukuxelisa umhlangano ongenangxaki, kodwa oku akusoloko kukhokelela kwiziphumo ezintle. Nangona ukuba "ngengozi" ukuvalela abantu abanjalo kwigumbi elinye, banokuphuma bebonke behlangene kungekhona ngeminqweno efanayo kunye novelwano, kodwa kunye nomnqweno kuphela: ukubulala. Ngoko cinga phambi kokuba ukhethe nayiphi na indlela yasekuqaleni, nokuba ngabahlobo bakho abangatshatanga bayakuxabisa. Okanye, kungcono ukudlala ukuhlanzeka, ukwenzela ukuba ungabangeli ukugxeka kunye nezikhalazo zexesha elide.
Ngosuku oluphindwe kabini, baya kuziva bekholose ngakumbi, kuba kukho abahlobo abasondeleyo kubo ongathethayo xa kukho into ethile, kwaye ungaboni uxolo olungathandekiyo, ushiywe wedwa kunye nomfokazi. Ngethuba le ntla nganiso, zama ukubonisa abahlobo bakho ngokukhanya okulungileyo, kodwa ungathethi kwindawo yabo, kwaye ungazami ukunyanzelisa uluvo lwakho. Ukuba ubona ukuba abantu bayakujabulela ukuthetha nabanye, kwaye abazive bengenabuhlungu, ngoko kuyafaneleka ukuba bafumane isizathu sokuthatha uxolo kunye nokuthatha umhlalaphantsi. Kule meko, ngokuqinisekileyo abayi kukhubekiswa kwaye baya kubulela ngokuqonda kwakho.