Uthando ngaphandle kokukholelwa nantoni na, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ayithandi. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba ukuthembela kumntu wakhe, kuncinci ukushiya xa evavanyelwa amandla angamaxesha amaninzi. Kukho iinani, ngokubhekiselele kulokho abangaphezu kwe-70% yezibini ezitshatileyo eziqhelene nale meko, kungekhona ngetyala. Naliphi na ingxaki inokusombulula, ngoko, unokufunda ukuthembela kumntu.
Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukucacisa isizathu sokuba, njengento ehlaseleyo, inqanda umfazi ukuba angathembeli kumntu wakhe ngokungaqinisekiyo. Apha, ukhetho lucebile kwaye aluphelelanga ukwesaba okuqhelekileyo kunye nokwaneliseka okwaneleyo kumava angaphumelelanga kwixesha elidlulileyo. Wonke umntu ohlangabezane nalo, yena ngokwakhe, uchaza izizathu zeengxaki.
Uluhlu lwezinto abantu abangathembeliyo umhlobo olahlekelwayo, lunokuba lude kakhulu, lude kakhulu, into ebalulekileyo kukuba ulwalamano oluphawulwe ngukungathembeki komnye wamaqabane aluzuzi naluphi na uvuyo kubo bobabini. Ukuba ubuhlobo bakho buyintanda kuwe, kufuneka ulwa nokungathembeki kude kube lula. xa lolu hlobo lokungabaza ludlulela entlokweni yakho, lubangele ingqondo engqondweni, cinga ukuba: "Ngaba kukho isizathu salo, okanye ngaba ndizenzele nje?" Ukuba kukho ukuba kukho isizathu, kuphuthumayo ukuyiqonda, nokuba yedwa okanye kunye babo qabane. Konke kuxhomekeka kwindlela enzulu ngayo yonke into. Emva kwakho konke, unako ukuphuma kwaye ukuze uchaze ngokucacileyo ibinzana elikhutshwe ngengozi, okanye uphawu olungenangqondo.
Ayikho inxulumano enempilo, ehambelanayo xa kungekho ntembelo phakathi kwabantu ababini abenza isibini. Nantsi umnqweno omkhulu, ukuba kukho umnqweno wokuthembela omnye komnye, ngoko kufuneka ulandele imithetho ethile:
- Awudingi ukucinga malunga noko kwenzekayo kubuhlobo obudlulileyo, ngakumbi ukuba akukho nto ilungileyo kubo, kunye nobudlelwane obunokuba nomnye umntu. Akukho mfuneko yokukhawuleza, ukucinga ukuba yonke into iya kuba yinto embi njengokugqibela, okanye ukucinga ukuba umntu unokuba ngcono. Phila ngoku, ngokukodwa xa ukhululekile kwaye ukhululekile kulwalamano olukhoyo. Kutheni sonke siphathise zonke iintlobo ze "ifs"? Emva kwakho konke, kuyaziwa ukuba iingcamango ziyagqitha, ngoko ke zihlengahlengise nje kuphela kwiimeko ezilungileyo kunye nonke oza kuba nazo.
- Musa ukukrokrela kwaye uyakrokraza. Isikhundla "isinyathelo sokuya kwisinyathelo sokunene ukuya kwesobunxele" asikwamkelekanga kulwalamano. Ungacinezeli kumntu wakho, ungenzi iimbuzo kunye nabahlaziyi, ngenxa yokuba wayephelile kwimaminithi engama-10 emsebenzini, okanye waphendula iSMS yakho kungekudala njengoko ulindele.
- Musa ukwenza ukuba indoda yakho ihlale ixolisa phambi kwakho. Khangela kule fom yokunxibelelana evela ngaphandle, ngaba uyayithanda? Musa ukuhlambalaza njalo into ethile, ingakumbi ukuba ukuhlambalaza kungenasiphelo kwaye akukho bungqina, ngaphandle kweengcamango zakho. Cinga ngento yokuba ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva unokuba ngumsindo, kwaye uya kufuna ukubalekela kuwe.
- Thembela umntu osondeleyo kuye. Kwaye kutheni? Kutheni kuyimfuneko ukuthobisana kunye nokusola, ukujonga iingcingo kubahlobo okanye osebenza nabo okanye ukujonga uluhlu lwakhe lweefowuni kunye ne-SMS ngokuphinda uphandwe kunye nomnqweno wesihloko esithi, "Yintoni le nguAnya, othetha naye imizuzu eyi-10?"
- Nika indlela yokuzihlaziya, kungekhona amahlazo. Imiba eyahlukileyo, njengokuba unokuzifumana ngephambanweni imeko engafanelekiyo, akudingeki ukuba uthele phezu kwakhe imilaphi yeengxoxo ezigxekisayo, kungcono nje ukuhleka ndawonye malunga nento eyenzekayo.
- Khumbula, ukuba iqabane lakho liza kubona kwaye live ukuthembela kwakho kuye, uya kuba othembekileyo kwaye avule kunye nawe. Ngamanye amagama, uza kufumana ubudlelwane kunye nempendulo emihle.
Ukuba uqhubeka uhlambalaza indoda yakho ngaso sonke isikhathi ngeemangalo ezingabonakaliyo, ngoko ungakhange uyayiqaphele, mqhubelele ekubeni uya kuqala ukwenza izinto ongazifunanga ngazo. Uthatha isigqibo sokuba kunokuphulaphula izikhalazo zakho ezihlala njalo, kunengqiqo ukuba ube nesithuba kwicala, kunye nesizathu sangempela sokunganeliseki kwakho.
Zonke ezi zikhankanywe apha azibandakanyi ukuba kungenzeka ukuba indoda eyona mntu ingafanelekanga ukuthembela iyona. Ebusweni konke kwenzeka. Kwaye ukuba umlinganisi ungayithathi ingqalelo yakho, ngokucacileyo akanandaba nawe, awukwazi ukumfuna izizathu ezizeleyo kwaye uchithe iimvakalelo zakhe ezilungileyo. Akunakuze uzenzele kumntu, akuyi kuzisa uvuyo novuyo. Kuphela kufuneka uzame ukujonga amehlo akho ngokusemandleni akho, ukubona isidima sakhe kunye nokungaphumeleli kwakhe. Abantu abalungileyo abakho, kungcono ukuwamkela. Zenzele isigqibo sokuba yiyiphi impazamo yayo ekulungele ukuba yamkele, kwaye ayiphi na.