Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba abazali baqaphele ubuxoki xa bethetha nomntwana. Kodwa ngaba ufanelekile ukusabalala ngokukhawuleza? Yiyiphi imfanelo yobuxoki? Ubuxoki bezingane bahluke kwiintlobo eziliqela.
- Uhlobo lo kuqala lubuxoki. Umntwana ukwesaba ukuhlawulwa, uqala ukuphuma, uzama ukutshintsha ityala lakhe kumnye umntu.
- Uhlobo lwesibini lubuxoki obuvumela ukuba uphume kwiimeko ezingaxakekiyo. Umntwana ugxininisa ukunyaniseka. Ngoxa uncedo lobuxoki, ufuna ukubonisa ukuba ubomi bakhe buhle kwaye bukhululekile. Kodwa oku akunjalo. Ngoko uzama nje ukuphakamisa ukubaluleka kwakhe kwiqela.
- Uhlobo lwesithathu luyindalo ephefumlelweyo kuzo zonke iintlobo zezihloko. Ifiloso yindlela eqhelekileyo kunye nekhangayo yobuxoki babantwana. Oku kunokuba kubangelwa ngumgaqo wokudala kumntu omncinci.
- Uhlobo lwesine luxoki kumntu omdala. Ngoko umntwana ufuna ukufumana ingqwalasela, uzijonga engenanto yokuqwalaselwa ngabantu abadala kunye nabantu abalahliwe.
Zininzi zazo. Ukuba umntwana ukhuliswe ngokukhawuleza, ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuzifihla iimpazamo zakhe, ukwesaba isijeziso esinzima. Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu: ukuguqula abanye abantu. Ukuba sele sele esemdala, lo mntu unokunyundela omnye umntu.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana balala, ukuze bangabacaphukisi abazali babo abazithandayo. Le meko ihlala ivela apho abantu "badlala kwiimvakalelo" zentsana, baxhaphaze iimvakalelo zakhe.
Abazali, abanabantwana abakwaziyo ukufika ngamabali angenakwenzeka kunye nabakhoyo malunga nentsapho yabo, kufuneka bahlale becinga ngako. Mhlawumbi umntwana ukhula kunye nobunzima obuphantsi. Kamva, uya kuba neentloni ngeentsapho zakhe. Izizathu zinokuhluka: ubuhlwempu, ukungazi okanye imvelaphi yabazali. Ngako oko, umnqweno womntwana ukuzenza omnye umele aqikelele ngokukhawuleza abazali.
Kwaye ukuba umntwana ulala ngokubhekiselele, sele sele ingxaki enkulu kunye nengqondo. Iyakhula ibe sisifo. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, umntwana wakho uya kuba nedumela elingathembekiyo okanye abe yintlalo.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Njani ukulwa?
Ukuba umntwana uyesaba kakhulu ukuhlwaywa kunye nokuxoka kuphela ngenxa yokwesaba, ke ucinge malunga nokuba awuyi kudlulela intonga. Emva kwakho konke, unako ukukhulisa i-coward, umntu othukile okanye umntu obuthathaka, ocinezelekileyo. Ekugqibeleni ubomi, akayi kukwazi ukuthatha uxanduva kwizenzo zakhe kwaye akayi kuba nako ukuwaqonda.
Ukuba inkunzi iqala ukugqithisa into ekhoyo, icinga ngeentsikelelo zobomi obungenangqiqo, uze uzame ukumfundisa ukuba aqonde oko kusemzuzwana. Ukwazi kakuhle kwaye ucinge ngcamango isimo sengqondo nesimo sengqondo sabanye malunga nomntwana. Yaye ukuba ingaphumeleli, qalisa ngokukhawuleza. Yakha umoya ococekileyo nonomnene kubudlelwane nomntwana nakwizindlu.
Ukuba inkwenkwe yakho iphupha kwaye ixoka ngokwabo, uyayifihla emphefumlweni wakhe ubuchule obukhulu. Ukulawula onke amandla akhe ngendlela efanelekileyo. Thenga i-notebook enhle yokurekhoda nokudweba amaphupha kunye neengcamango. Makhe amenzele iingcamango zakhe. Yaye ngokukhawuleza uya kuba umbhali odumileyo okanye umculi? Yonke into inokwenzeka!
Ukuba ubuxoki bomntwana bakho budibaniswe nobudlova, ngokuqhelekileyo uya kwinto ethile yokucinga, kwaye umnike ixesha elide, umonde. Kwaye, kunjalo, uya kubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo. Kungenzeka ukuba oku kungekhona nje ingcamango yomntwana, kodwa ukubonakaliswa kwempawu zokuqala zesifo sengqondo. Kuye kwaziwa ixesha elide ukuba umntwana ufumana zonke izifo zengqondo, kunye neentlungu ezingonwabanga, njengomntwana. Kwaye nabazali bayakuqaphela oku, baya kuba nokulungelelanisa ukusilela ekukhuliseni umntwana wabo baze bamkhusele kwisifo esiyingozi.