Oomama abaninzi banenkxalabo yokuba abantwana bahlala bechukumisa iintsholongwane zabo, ngoko bazama ukuwuthambisa. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana baqala ukubandakanya kuyo sele bevela kwiminyaka eminyaka ubudala. Abazali baqaphela indlela abantwana abazithintela ngayo kwiminyaka eyi-3 ukuya kweyesi-7 kwaye badlale "imidlalo engcolileyo". AmaMama kunye noodade baxela abantwana babo ngoku, bachaza ukuba kwakungenakwenzeka ukwenza njalo, kwaye bathetha ngetoni ehlelekile ukuba balala bezandla zabo phezu kwengubo. Kodwa makhe sibone ukuba ngaba yinto enzima kakhulu, nokuba uyayesaba ngabazali.
Wonke umntwana ukususela ngosuku lokuqala kunye neminyaka emithandathu ukuya kweyesibhozo ezayo idlula ixesha elide kakhulu lokuzifunda wena, abanye abantu kunye nehlabathi lonke. Kwabazali, kubalulekile ukuba sikhumbule ukuba ngeli xesha umntwana ufumana lonke ulwazi oluyimfuneko kunye nobomi obusisiseko. Ngesiko saseRashiya ngokwenene umntwana ngamnye wayebizwa ngokuba "ngumntwana". Ngoko ke ngokukodwa akazange akwazi ukuhlula isantya somntwana. Kwaye xa umntwana eneminyaka emithathu ubudala, kwakufuneka aqaliswe phantsi. Intombazana kufuneka igqoke ingubo, iidbhoni kunye neentambo, ngokuqinisekileyo, abafana banxibe ngokufanelekileyo.
Umntwana kufuneka afunde umzimba kunye nomzimba wabanye, kuba kubalulekile kuye. Kumelwe aqonde ukuba unjani ukungafani kunye nokufana nabanye abantu. Umntwana ngamnye kule ntshukumo ulandela injongo ehluke ngokupheleleyo kunathi, abadala. Emva kwakho konke, cinga, njengommiselo, imfundo yezocansi yabantwana isekelwe kwimigaqo yokucoceka, abazali kunye notitshala badidekile ngenxa yeengxaki zezingane kunye neengxaki. Bazali abathandekayo! Kubantwana esi sihloko sifana nabo bonke abanye, ababoni ulwahluko, kuba banomdla kwizinto ezilinganayo. Naliphi na inyana, cela: "Baphuma phi na abantwana?" Ngaba unemvelo kwaye kulula ukubuza: "Kutheni kubhakabhaka?".
Eyona nto inomdla kukuba xa umntwana efunda ubuso, iingalo nemilenze, abazali basabela ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa i-crumb iqala ukuhlolisisa izitho zakhe zesini, abazali balahlekile kwaye baqala ukucinga ukuba umntwana wabo unokukhula uguqulwe aze apheliswe. Abazali bafuna ukufunda: indlela yokusabela ngayo kwimidlalo yezesondo yabantwana. Abantwana baqaphele ngakumbi kunabani bethu. Bakhawuleza banqume indima yomntu ngamnye kwintsapho yakho, bayaqonda ukuba inkokheli inkokheli yendlu, omele uyiphulaphule, kwaye ngubani ongenakuyiqwalasela. Ngako oko, awukwazi ukufihla ulwalamano lobomi kubo . Ngokukodwa xa umntwana ehamba esikolweni, unamathuba amaninzi okufikelela kuloo ngcaciso. Nangona kunjalo, khumbula ukuba umntwana ngokuqhelekileyo akayiqondi le ngcaciso njengezesondo.
Ngoko, kunye nokufika kolwazi, abantwana baqala ukudlala imidlalo yezesondo, njengommiselo - ziingcambu zeemidlalo kwintsapho. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bangabonakalisa izenzo zabantu abadala, ngelixa bexelisa uhlobo oluthile lomsebenzi osondeleyo. Xa abazali bebona oku, badidekile. Nangona kunjalo, ihlaya kunye ne-vzvomuschatsya kule mizuzu ayilungelanga. Ukuba umntwana wakho usempilweni, imidlalo yendalo "yezesondo" ayibangeli nantoni na, ngoko ke xa ungeyonto ephazamisayo umntwana, udlala ngokungazi kakuhle, kwaye le nto ibona le nxalenye yezinto eziqhelekileyo njengento eqhelekileyo kwaye iyinyani, kuba kunjalo.
Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa umntu omdala eqala ukubuza indlela umntwana adlale ngayo, ukuzama yonke into ngokubanzi, ukuhlazisa umntwana, ngokukhawuleza uqala ukuguqula ingqondo yakhe kwaye aqonde ukuba into ekhethekileyo, into ebalulekileyo kunye neyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa awuyikutshintshisisa inzala ngezenzo zakho, i-atolko iyanda. Umntwana uyaqonda ukuba ekuvulelekeni ukuba adlale kangangokuba akunakwenzeka, apha uqala ukufihla. Ngaphezu koko, ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana useva isizathu sokuba ajeziswe, kodwa uhlala evakalelwa kukuba xa wenza kakubi, ngaba abazali, abaphindaphindiweyo, benza into engcolileyo, ehlazo kwaye engagunyaziswanga. Ngoko unokudala umqobo othile wengqondo phakathi kwakho nomntwana. Kwakhona kuyacaca kumntwana ukuba kukubi ukuthintela izitho zangasese kwaye ufumane umdla kubo. Ngoko umntwana unokufumana isixeko esithile sakhiwo, zonke iintlobo zobugqwetha kunye namava okufihlakeleyo.
Kukho umgangatho wesibini: umxikethi unokonwaba emzimbeni wakhe, kwaye ukubonakaliswa koku oku kungafani ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba unqamle oku, unciphise kwaye uhlambele umntwana, ngoko kusenokungalunganga ukwenza ulwalamano nobomi besondo ngexesha lobudala. Kufuneka ukhokele ngobulumko kwaye ulungele ukuziphatha kweemvuthu.
Ngoko musa ukoyika imidlalo, apho abantwana bafunda abanye abantu kunye nabo. Ngaphezu koko, ungazami ukunyelisa nokunyelisa le nzala. Kungcono xa umntwana ekhula emehlweni akho. Ngendlela, kwiintsuku ezindala abantwana batyelela indlu yokuhlambela kunye nabazali babo de kube badala, ngoko bawabona behamba kwaye befunda. Baye balala egumbini elinye. Thetha ngomqala, buza oko kubalulekile kwaye kuyithabathele kuye. Musa ukuba ngumveleli, zama ukuba ngumhlobo womntwana.