Esinye sezigqibo eziphambili kwizibini ezininzi zenziwa ngumntwana. Eli nyathelo kunzima ukuyithatha. Kodwa ukuba isigqibo sagqitywa ekugqibeleni, kuyimfuneko ukucinga ngokucacileyo zonke iingxaki ezinokuvela xa ukhulisa umntwana owamkelweyo.
Iingxaki zinokuhlulwa ngamaqela amathathu:
- Ukulungiswa kwintsapho yomntwana owamkelweyo
- Heredity
- Impilo yengane
Ukuthathwa kwabantwana, njengomthetho, banalo nawuphi na umdala ongekho amava kakhulu. Ukuxhalabisa kwengqondo kuya kuhlala ixesha elide nangona ujikelezwe uthando lwakhe kunye nokunyamekela. Oku kunokubonakalisa njengengxaki yobuthongo okanye ukuxhalabisa ngesizathu, ukungabi nxilweni, ukuziphatha okungavamile kwiimeko eziqhelekileyo zabazali abangabantwana.
Abantu badla ngokukholelwa ukuba ukunyamekela, ukuthuthuzela, ukufudumala, amathoyizi amahle akwazi ukutshintsha umntwana ngokukhawuleza. Akunjalo. Umntwana uya kubuza ukuba kutheni abazali bakhe bemshiyile, kutheni bekwenzile, kutheni engathandwanga kangangexesha elide kwaye akazange amkhathalele ngaye. Impendulo yale mibuzo kufuneka ilungiselelwe kwangaphambili. Umntwana unokufuna nokuba nenkxaso yengqondo. Umntwana unako ukuvala okanye ukukrazula iimvakalelo eziqokelelweyo. Oku akufanelekanga.
Kwenzeka ukuba abantwana baqale ukugatya abazali abazali. Izindlela ngelo xesha zizona zingenakulinganiswa: ziziphatha kakubi, ziza neengcinga, zichaze ngolwimi oluhlazo. Oku kusoloko kubangele ukuphendula kakubi kubazali nakubantu abadala. Kodwa ezi ngxaki zixazulula ngokukhawuleza ukuba uhamba nazo ngokuchanekileyo. Unokuqhagamshelana nengcali yeengqondo, ukuba kuyimfuneko.
Imeko echaseneyo. Kwenzeka ukuba inkunzi yenkomo engazange ifumane ngexesha elidlulileyo inani elaneleyo lothando, lizama ukuzalisa le galeko. Unako ukunyamekela kakhulu abo banomdla ngaye. Ingaba ngabazali okanye nabani na umntu omdala onyamekelayo kunye nokukhathalela umntwana. Kule meko, abantu abathandekayo bayabonakala, kodwa umntwana akayi kuqhotyoshelana nabani na. Ingumntwana ongeyena othembekileyo. Kuya kuba nzima nakakhulu ukuseka oonxibelelwano oluqhelekileyo nabazali bakhe.
Kunzima kubazali ukuba baqhagamshelane nomntwana. Baqala ukukhangela izizathu, bamgxeka ngokuba bengathandi ukuseka ubudlelwane obuhle. Kukho iingxabano kunye neengxabano. Kodwa abazali bafanele bazi ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo kukukhuseleka ukusuka kwicala lomntwana. Yena, njengomthetho, kwenzeka kwinqanaba elincinci kwizinto ezimbi, ukuba umntwana uye wahamba ngaphambili. Abazali abangenakuqhagamshelana nabo bahlala benqaba loo bantwana. Oku akufanele kwenziwe. Vumela zonke iingxaki ezinokujamelana nazo ziza kunceda onguchwepheshe onamava. Xa wenze isisombululo esifanelekileyo, uya kubona ngokukhawuleza ukuba umntwana utshintshile. Uya kuzama ukungakucasuli, uzenzele yena nabazali bakhe abavayo.
Heredity
Abazali abanobubele bayesaba kakhulu i-heredity. Le ngxaki yokuqala kwimfundo. Kukholelwa ukuba umntwana womntu ongekho msebenzi akanako ukuhlala ilungu eluntwini ngokupheleleyo. Ezi nkcazo ziyi-relic yexesha elidlulileyo. Iingcali zenzululwazi sele zibonakalise ukuba ububele buyakuchukumisa ukuphuhliswa komntwana, kodwa le nto ayinayo. Ukubunjwa kobuntu kunokukhula kuphela. Kuphela ukusuka ekukhuliseni kuxhomekeke kuhlobo luni lomntwana oluya kuba ngumdala. Ukwesaba ufuzo alukho imfuneko. Ungacingi ukuba abazali sele bebeke into embi kakhulu. Ukunyamekela kufuneka kuthathelwe ukukhetha indlela efanelekileyo kwintsana kwaye ingabangeli izenzo ezintle emva koko.
ZeMpilo
Abazali abanobubele bayesabiswa yimeko yempilo yomntwana owamkelweyo. Ezi ntswelo kunye nokwesaba zichanekile. Emva koko, ikhaya labantwana alikho ithuba lokujongana nempilo yabantwana. Kodwa oku akufanelekanga. Inqanaba lokuphuhliswa kweyeza ngoku liphezulu kakhulu. Zininzi iingxaki zempilo zixazululwa. Kwaye izifo azinzima kakhulu ukuba zisabise. Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba kukho iingxaki zempilo nangona usana oluphilileyo oneminyaka yobudala. Kodwa kwiimeko ezinokwenzeka akukho mntu ukhuselekile.
Ukuba uzimisele ukwenza le nyathelo ebalulekileyo kunye noxanduva, kufuneka ucinge ngezinto zonke kakuhle. Emva kwakho konke, impazamo oyenzayo ingabangela umonakalo ongunaphakade kumntwana. Akunakwenzeka ukushiya iingxaki. Kodwa indlela efanelekileyo kubo iyakwazi ukusombulula zonke iingxaki ngokukhawuleza. Sifanele sicinge ngamanyathelo ethu xa sikhulisa abantwana abamkelweyo. Kuba ngoku ngoku kuphela kuwe kuxhomekeke kwindlela umntwana oza kuhlala ngayo kwixesha elizayo, luhlobo luni na wena kunye nabantu abazungezile uya kuba nayo. Kwiintsapho ezinabantwana, abaninzi abantwana kunye nabazali bayavuya. Kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ucinge ukuba intsapho ayikhuliswa njengomntwana ongokoqobo.