Hlehlisa
Abantu abanenkani abazange bathathe uxinzelelo. Xa ucinezela ngakumbi, baninzi balwa. Oko kukuthi, umzekelo, uyazi into eyenziwa ngumntu kwaye uqale ngokumxelela ngoku, ukuqinisekisile ukuba uphosakele kwaye ukhombise iimpazamo zakhe. Ukuba umntu oqhelekileyo i-tacoslov ingaba yityhilelo kwaye uya kuqonda iimpazamo zakhe aze aqale ukulungisa, ngoko umntu onenkani uyinto eyahlukileyo. Xa ufuna ukunyanzela ukuba uphosakele, umntu onjalo uya kuzama ukubonakalisa ukufaneleka kwakhe. Kakade, ngokuqinisekileyo, ayiyi kusebenza kuye, kodwa uya kuqhuba ukuziphatha njengoko wenzayo kunye nomgaqo. Khumbula ukuba abantu abanenkani banokuziqhayisa xa bexinzezelwa, kubonakala ngathi abantu babonakalisa ubuthathaka babo, ukungabi ncamna, ukukwazi ukwenza into efanelekileyo. Inkani inomsindo kakhulu kwaye inomsindo. Akakwazi ukudibanisa nezo ziganeko ezinjalo kwaye unquma ukuba indlela efanelekileyo yokuphula imithi, kodwa ingalahli. Ngoko xa ubona ukuba inkani yakho inzima iqala ukwenza izinto eziyicwengekileyo, endaweni yokubhenela kuye, ukutshabalalisa ngomsindo olungeleyo nokuqala ukufunda, kuhle ukuba ubuze isizathu sokuba akwenze. Emva kokuba umntu onzima uphendule umbuzo wakho, buza ukuba ucinga malunga nezinye iindlela zokulungisa ingxaki. Xoxa ngale ndlela. Ukuba inkosi ayinayo ingcinga malunga nokusombulula imeko ngenye indlela, uyakhumbula kwaye unike imizekelo emibini yendlela abanye abantu abazenza ngayo kwiimeko ezifanayo. Ungathethi nje kwiintetho ezinjengokuthi: "Masenze inkulungwane ukuba wenze njani ...", "Ulungele ukwenza oko wenzayo" ", Kule meko, ukhetho olufanelekileyo luya kwenziwa ...". Ezi zivakalisi zizwakala njenge-oda, njengengqungquthela kwimbono yobuqu kunye nokhetho lwakho. Kwaye umntu onenkani unobungozi ngaphezu kwezinto zonke, xa umntu emxelela ukuba enze ntoni, ngaloo ndlela uyamnqabela ilungelo lokuzikhethela ngokuzimela. Ngoko xelela nje ukuba umzekelo weso simo, uchaza indlela yesisombululo kwaye uvale. Umntu kufuneka azicinge ngamagama othethayo. Okokuthi, ukuba uthetha ukusebenzisa le mzekelo, kufuneka abe nevakalelo lokuba yena ngokwakhe ufikelele kwisiphetho esinjalo, kodwa akazange abe yintlongo yakho. Abantu abanenkani abafuni ukunyanzelisa umntu ngomnye umntu. Enyanisweni, kunxamnye nombono womntu ukuba banzima. Loo mntu uhlala esweleka indawo yakhe kunye nethuba lokuvakalisa iingcamango zakhe. Kukho nawuphi na umsebenzi kwilizwe lakhe kunye nemiyalelo kunye neengcebiso, uqala ukuxhatshaza. Esi sizathu esona sizathu esiphezulu sokuziphatha okunenkani. Ukuba uyamnika ithuba lokwenza isigqibo sakhe, nokuba kusekelwe kwiingxabano zakho, mhlawumbi uya kuyeka ukuba ngumqinela kwaye wenze into efanelekileyo. Abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba abantu abanenkani banabantu abangenangqiqo abangayiqondi nto.Inene, oku akunjalo. Futhi ziphathe ngokungenangqondo nje ngokuba zifuna ukubonakalisa wonke umntu: Andiyidingi imiyalelo yomnye umntu, ndiya kwenza izigqibo ngokwam, nokuba ngaba ziphosakeleyo, kodwa zam. Yingakho abantu abanenkani bavame ukuqonda ukuba ziyintoni izilumko ezikhokelwa ngumntu onenkani, kodwa azinako ukutshintsha nantoni na, ngokusuka kumgaqo.
Ungazami ukuyitshintsha
Abaninzi baqala ukuzama ukuphazamisa inkxalabo nayiphi na indlela yokuyitshintsha. Oku kunokuba ngumsindo, intukuthelo, iinyembezi, isisongelo kunye ne-takdalee. Ukuziphatha okunjalo akusoze kukhokelela kwimiphumo emihle xa ifika kumntu onenkani. Khumbula ukuba inkani yinto engumntu ovela ebuntwaneni obunzulu. Ababa nenkani, bazalwa ngale ndlela. Umntu onenkani uyabonakalisa ukususela ngokusana kwasebusaneni, umntu onjalo uzama ukuzithemba. Kodwa endaweni yokufumana umphumo omuhle, abazali, kwaye abanye abantu abasondeleyo benza okubi kakhulu. Enyanisweni, bawela kwisangqa: umntu uzama ukugqithisela, kwaye unenkani kunzima nje ukubonisa ubungqina bakhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba phakathi kwabantu bakho abasondeleyo banenkani, zama ukuwamkela njengoko kunjalo. Ekugqibeleni, inkani inokude neyona nto inobungozi. Ngoko ke, kunokwenzeka ukudibanisa ubuthongo kwaye ufunde ukubambisana kunye nenkani, ukungabikho kobuchopho kunye nokuphazamiseka. Ukuze uqalise uqhagamshelwano nenkani, umele umbonise ukuba uyamkela indlela yakhe yokuziphatha kunye nenjongo yokujonga, inkxaso kunye nokunika ilungelo lokugqiba zonke izinto ngokwakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo uthi kumntu onenkani: "Unomntu okhulileyo, ngoko unokwenza isinqumo esifanele." Umntu onenkani uya kuba kula maxesha xa evakalelwa kukuba akavunyelwe ukwenza oko akufunayo. Ngoko ke, ngokukhawuleza uqala ukumelana nokulwa. Kodwa ukuba uyaqonda ukuba akukho mfuneko yokuzikhusela, uqala ukucinga ngolu hlobo, engathembeli kwisifiso sakhe sokwenza njengoko afuna naluphi na umrhumo, kodwa ngokusengqiqweni, inyaniso kunye njalo. Oko kukuthi, ukuba uqala ukukholisa umntu onenkani, uya kwenza oko. Ukuba nje u-zaronit emphefumlweni wakhe zernasomneny ngokuchanekileyo kwenguqu ekhethiweyo yesisombululo kwimeko, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukuba ucinge kwaye wenze ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Into ephambili kukuba umxelele izinto ezilungileyo unobtrusively, ngokufutshane. Oku kungathi ngathi, ngenye indlela, okanye kufana namagama owawufuna ukusho ixesha elide, kodwa awuzange ulinde, kodwa ngoku uzimisele, kodwa ungacingi ukuba unyanzelekile ukuphulaphula, kuyimfuneko nje ukuthetha inyaniso. Umzekelo: "UMene ubonakala ngathi lo mntu ulungile. Ndade ndifuna ukukuxelela ngale nto, kodwa andizange ndiqine. Undixolele ngokuthetha, ndixhalabile kakhulu. Andiyi kukukhumbuza oku kwakhona. "Le ndlela ifumanekanga umnqweno wokwenza ngokungekho sikweni, ngenxa yokuba ayilwanga kwaye iyaliswe nguye, kodwa ngelo xesha, la magama angakwazi ukuyeka ukubonisa, ukuhlaziya kwakhona imeko, ukujonga iiskrini zeqela kunye nokuqonda, ukuba kuyimfuneko ukwenza ngendlela eyahlukileyo, kunokuba kuthethwe ngaphambili.
Enyanisweni, akunzima kakhulu ngabantu abanenkani. Kufuneka nje ufunde ukukhusela iimvakalelo zabo kwaye ungazami ukutshintsha rhoqo umntu kunye nembono yakhe. Xa ufuna ukulwa nobunzima, uya kulwa nawe. Kwaye ukuba uyeka ukwenza oku, uza kubona indlela umntu onenkani oqala ukuphulaphula uluvo lwakho kwaye uya kuqala ukwenza okulungileyo.