Njengoko ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka, emva kweyona nto imnandi kakhulu, ingaba iqhenqa, ibinzana eliphosakeleyo okanye lihlukanise nomntu othandekayo, ixesha elithile, elinokudityaniswa, iingcamango ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye kukuhle ukuba kwakungokuvuswa okwethutyana kwesoya okanye into enje, kodwa ingxaki kukuba ikhula ngokuphindaphindiweyo ibe ngaphezulu: i-paranoia ebonakala ngathi ayikwazi ukujamelana nayo. Ngenye imemori yeso siganeko ngokukhawuleza ukuphazamiseka, kwaye ngoko unako ixesha elide ukuguqula amanzi uze ungene ekudakagxeni, ukuba ungagqithisi amandla okucinga okungathandekiyo.
1. I-quarrel okanye ihlukana nomntu othandekayo
Umzekelo:
Intombazana yaphuka kunye nomfana wayo. Usuku ngalunye wahamba ngokudabuka kakhulu, wadla waza walala ngokugqithiseleyo, wayehlala ekhangele iifoto kunye kunye, wakhala, enomona nantoni na edibana naye, kwaye akanakuze amkhohlwe umonakalo wakhe, ecinga ngaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
Ukuphosa kwintloko yam ingcamango yesiqingatha sesibini inzima, ingakumbi yamantombazana, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha abantu bangabandezeleka ngenxa yabo yangaphambili, nangona bengabonakali ngokucacileyo. Ukulibala ngokuthandwa kwakho (ukuba oku kuyingxowankulu, kungekhona ingxabano), kufuneka uguqule iingcamango zakho kwenye into. Efanelekileyo kule meko iya kuba yinto entsha. Kucebise ukuba umntu omtsha akwazi ukuqhelana nomntu wakho wokuqala, mhlawumbi uya kuqala ukwenza yonke into ngokubonisa, ngokuzithoba ukuzama ukubangela ukuba umona oyintandane owayenguye umona. Mhlawumbi oqhelana nolwazi ngexeshana nge-intanethi kuya kuba sisisombululo esiphezulu: okokuqala, awuyikuthintela umntu omtsha ngosuku lokuqala ukuchasa phambili; Okwesibini, awukwazi ukuhamba ngaphaya koko, xa iimvakalelo ziba namandla, kodwa ngexesha elithile umntu omtsha uyasuswa, kwaye oku kuya kunceda ukulibala malunga nomdala.
Kwimeko yokuxabana, yonke into ilula kakhulu: ukuba awukwazi ukunqoba ukuzingca kwakho kwaye uqale ukwenza okokuqala, ukuphazamisa iifrimu. I-movie enhle iyakwazi ukuphazamisa nantoni na, ukusuka kuyo nayiphi na ingxabano: kunye nomhlobo, abazali, abahlobo. Oku kubandakanya iincwadi kunye naziphi na izinto zokuzonwabisa ezinawo (ukukhangela, ukudweba, ukulandelelanisa, njl.). Kodwa kungcono ukuqaphela ukuba akulungile ukuxabana, kwaye udibana nomhlobo wakho kuqala. Iphakamisa wena emehlweni akhe.
Ibinzana elingamangalisiyo, ngengozi iphosa umntu
Umzekelo:
"Ndiya kuthiya, ndikuthiyile!" Andikudingi nonke, andizange ndikuthande, ngolunye usuku ndiza kushiya indlu ndize ndingabuyi! Wakha umfana oneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo ubudala waza wanyula umnyango ngokukhawuleza, waphahlaka egumbini lakhe. Kwimizuzu elishumi elinesibini emva koko, unina nomntwana baxolelana, kodwa kwintloko ye-boyishnikak ayizange ifike amazwi ahlaselwe yintlondi, kwaye wayehlushwa ngaloobo busuku ngesitampu.
Isimo esingathandekiyo, akukho nto iphikisanayo, nangona kunjalo, umzekelo uyona ophazamisayo, kwaye igama alilona intlunkulu, ngoko ibinzana elishiyiweyo lingadlulela ngasemva. Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi, umntu ozenzayo umoya. Kukho iindlela ezimbini zokuphuhlisa iziganeko:
a) Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abakwazi ukuhlawula ingqalelo xa bethetha into engathandekiyo, kuba bayaqonda ukuba kwakungenasenzo okanye kwimvakalelo. Enoba unokukhubeka, kodwa kungekhona ixesha elide. Ngoko, apha umele ukhumbule ukuba ukuba awuzange uziva utshintsho malunga nawe ngosuku okanye ezintathu, unokuqiniseka ukuba umntu sele sele ekhohliweyo malunga nesiganeko esidlulileyo kwaye ukuvakalelwa kungenanto.
b) Kakade, kukho ubungqina obuninzi bokuzimela. Ukuba ungaziva ukuba into ephosakeleyo, iveki idlulile, kwaye ngezinye izihlandlo unako ukukhangela umbuzo, ukuphendula ngokubi, ukucaphukisa kwisithuba esincinane, njl., Kulungile ukuthetha. Kufuneka ibonakale njengengxoxo yengozi, kungekhona ingxoxo ehleliweyo ngaphambili. Kufuneka ukhumbule oko wakutshoyo emva koko (umntu uya kuthi mhlawumbi uyalilibala, kodwa ukuba uziva utshintsho olubi - oko akuyinyaniso), kwaye-ke-uxolise, uthethe indlela, kwaye Usuhlwayelwa ngenxa yeso siganeko. Ukuba uthetha konke ngokunyanisekileyo, umntu uya kukukholelwa, kwaye uya kuziva ukuba yonke into ibuyiselwe. Kwaye ukuba akaxolelanga - kutheni unomhlobo onjalo (abazali, njengomzekelo, baxolele, abanakho ukukhetha)?
3. Ukungahloneli, ukuhlazola okanye ukuziphatha kakubi
Umzekelo 1:
Le ntombazana yafika eyunivesithi, yayithatha indawo yayo, apho ngaphambili "abalungileyo" befunda nabo bathululela ushokolethi oncibilikile. Ngenxa yoko, iifestile zokukhanya zeentombazana zazingabonakali kakuhle, kwaye umfundi ngokwakhe akazange eze kwiziko lezonyango ngeveki, etshisa ngehlazo endlwini yakhe.
Umzekelo 2:
- Masithulule ishokoleta esihlalweni, kwaye xa [Igama] lifika kwaye lihleli esihlalweni, limbozwe! - ngovuyo wanikela ngomfundi omnye onomdla kumhlobo.
- Woza! - wavumelana nesibini, nangona wayengafuni ngokwenene ukwenza oko. Ngenxa yoko, "ukumangaliswa" kwakuyimpumelelo: intombazana yahleka intombazana, yahlazeka kwaye yayeka ukuvela eyunivesithi. Yaye umhlobo wesibini wayekhathazekile, engxolise, wazisola ngezinto azenzileyo kwaye wayefuna ukubuyisela yonke into.
1) Kwimeko yokuqala, kufuneka ufumane ubuncinci kwizengqondo. Okokuqala: bonke abantu bazingca. Babheka into ehlekisayo, bahleka baze baphazamiseka, ukuba kwakungaze kubekho isizathu esiqhubekayo sokutshabalalisa okutsha okanye izizathu. Ukusuka apha kulandela okwesibini: ngakumbi umntu ukhalipha ingqwalasela kwisiganeko esingathandekiyo, siphumelele ukuphendula. Masithi intombazana ibuyele eyunivesithi, ihlazekile, kodwa ngokukhawuleza iyaqaphela ukuba wonke umntu sele ekhohliwe konke. Ewe, kunokubekho umntu okhumbula into eyenzekayo, kodwa apha konke kuxhomekeke kuye, kumfundi: ukuba akaphendulanga okanye amomotheka ngokukhawuleza, wonke umntu akanakukhathalela. Akukho mntu uya kuhleka kwakhona aze amkhumbuze unyaka wonke malunga nento eyenzekayo. Ukuba uyaphula, ufumana ingxaki okanye ubonisa ukuba bubuhlungu, buhlungu kwaye bubuhlungu kukuba, wonke umntu unokuhlaselwa njengepiranha. Oku akuvumelekanga.
Ngoko, xa uqonde ukuba wonke umntu akanandaba noko kwenzekayo, uyayeka ukuzenzekelayo ngokuzenzekelayo.
2) Ewe, izinto esizisolayo zenzekayo. Akukho nto iyakushintsha, kodwa akusisizathu sokuphelelwa lithemba kwaye sisoloko sizisola ngokuphazamiseka. I-Apology yinto ekhethekileyo. Ukunyaniseka ngakumbi, kubhetele. Ukuba kunokwenzeka - kunika umnikelo omncinci xa ucela ukuxolelwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuzingca njani, kuya kufuneka ungabi namdla, unyanisekile ukuba uxolelwe, ukuba akusiyo umhlobo wakho, onokuhlawula naye kwixesha elizayo ukugcina ubudlelwane. Into ephambili kukuba uxelelwe ukuba, uxolelwe (ininzi abantu bayitsho njalo). Kuya kuba lula ngokulula.
4. Iingcinga eziyikrakra
Umzekelo:
Umfana wayeyika ukuphuma endlwini, kuba wayenomdla. Kwakubonakala ukuba kufuneka ahambe emngceleni wendlu yakhe, njengento engenakuze kwenzeke kuye: imoto iya kugutywa, ikhanda litena liwa, yena ngokwakhe uya kuwela emgodini wokucoca, kunye njalo njalo. Ngenxa yoko, abo babini babehleli entanyeni yabazali babo, abazange benze nto, kodwa bahlala becinga malunga nokuba kwakunzima kangakanani ukuhlala.
Mhlawumbi le nguqulo yiyona nto ihoywa kakhulu. Nazi iingxaki zangempela entloko. Enyanisweni, akukho into yokuba le nto ayiyiyo intuition, kuba abanye bayenqaba ukukhwela idiza elibhubhileyo, nangona ithikithi ithengiweyo, kodwa kaninzi nokuba yinto yonke entloko.
Iingcebiso eziqhelekileyo ezingenakunceda ukuba uncede, kufuneka uzinyanzele ukwenza into ethile. Nangona uloyiko, kufuneka uzinyanzele ukuba uphume kwisitalato. Unamandla okuwela indlela. Usoloko unyanzela. Ngokuqhelekileyo iingxaki ezinjalo zixhalabisayo kulabo abahlala behamba ngandlela-thile, iingcinga ezinjalo zivela kulabo abangenzi nantoni na. Umntu ufuna ukufumana umsebenzi, fumana abahlobo kunye nokuzilibazisa okuthandwayo, kwaye akayi kubona indlela iingcamango ezihamba ngayo.
Ezinye iingcebiso zokugqibela
Okokuqala, ndifuna ukukukhumbuza ukuba abantu bazincama. Nantoni na into eyenziwe ngumntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wayengakhathazeki ngani, akunakwenzeka ukuba wonke umntu uya kulungiswa ngokukhawuleza, ngenxa yokuba akanandaba. Emva kokuqonda oku, kuba lula ukuhlala. Ewe, kwithuba elithile, mhlawumbi, wonke umntu uya kukhunjuzwa into eyenzekayo ukukrazula okanye ukufumana indoda ngaphandle kwayo, kodwa ukuba awuyikuqwalasela ubungqina obufanayo, yonke into izakulibala kungekudala.
Okwesibini, ukulungiswa kweengcamango zesikhashana (kwaye ngezinye iimeko ezingezangexeshana) iziphakamiso zomntu. Unokuphazamisa nayiphi na okanye nayiphi na umntu, ngaba ngumculo, iincwadi, iifilimu, abantu, izinto zokuzonwabisa, ukucoca, njl. Oku kuya kunceda.