Indlela yokwenza umtshato wakho uphumelele

Ngaba unokufumana "unyango" lwemitshato engonwabileyo? Andifuni ngokwenene ukucinga "imanyano engcwele yeentliziyo zothando" ngokungenakuzelelwa idibene nokuxabana, iingxaki ezingenakuthenjwa, ukudideka, ukunyeliswa nokuhlushwa ngonaphakade. Izibini ezitshatileyo zingayifumana njani ulonwabo kwaye zigcine iminyaka emininzi?


Eyinyaniso kunye namaphupha


Ulonwaba emtshatweni luqala ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba abantu bahlangane nesahlulo sabo - ngamaphupha enkosana, ngamaphupha endoda efanelekileyo okanye umfazi ococekileyo. Kwaye kukhonkco ngakumbi kula maphupha, kukhanya ngakumbi baya kubonakalisa kumlinge nokubonakala kweqabane elizayo. Ngamanye amazwi, amaphupha agcwaliseka.

Nangona kunjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bakhetha iqabane labo ebomini kungekhona ngokwempawu kunye nemikhwa yomntu, kodwa kusekelwe kwizinto ezingenayo. Zonke iimeko ezimbi zentsapho yabazali kunye nemifanekiso ebuhlungu ebomini yezihlobo ezihlobo kunye nabahlobo badlala indima ebalulekileyo apha. Umzekelo, ukuba ngaba abazali baye baphila ubomi babo ngobumpofu obukhulu, kwaye umntwana uye waziva enomdla wokuthotywa kunye nomona ukusuka ebuntwaneni, ngoko kunokubaluleka kakhulu ukuba akhethe isiqingatha sakhe ukuba unesimo esihle semali somlingane okanye amandla okufikelela kuso. Okanye ukuba umntwana sele ehlupheke ixesha elide ekudakwa okanye enye ingxaki yomzali, kukho inkolelo enamandla yokuba umyeni okanye umfazi oza kuba ngumntu oza kuyenza iyakuba yisigqibo sokuvuma ukutshata lomntu.

Iingcamango ezidalwe yindlela "eyahlukileyo", nangona ivelisa ebomini abantu abafunayo abangenazo iimpawu kunye nemikhwa ethile, ngexesha elifanayo bavale amehlo omntu kwizinto ezininzi abaziphetheyo. Zizo "izinto ezingabonakaliyo" zeqabane elizayo eliza kubangela ukucaphukisa nokuxabana kwintsapho. Kwaye ngoko ke unako ukuva iingcebiso ezinjalo zeengqondo zeengqondo: musa ukuzichukumisa umlingane, kodwa wamkela umntu njengako.

Ixesha lidlulayo, kwaye kwimitshato engaphumeleli abantu baqala ukukhalazela ukuba amaphupha aphukile, inyaniso inenkohlakalo, umntu ondibathandayo akanakubuyiselwa, kwaye ubomi, ngokuqhelekileyo, bubaleka kwithambo. Imitshato eyonwabileyo, abantu bahlala benganelisekanga omnye komnye, kodwa kulo mzekelo, ukunganeliseki kuyabonwa ngabo njengemihlobiso engapheliyo kunye nemimiselo yomtshato, kodwa njengento engapheliyo, yesikhashana, into emele ilahlekelwe, into emele yenziwe malunga nayo. Akunabantu ababini abafanayo, kwaye abahlobo abasondeleyo banento enokuyikrakra kwaye yintoni enokuthi iphosakele. Kwimitshato evuyayo, abantu bacinga ukuba bangatshintsha njani iimvakalelo zabo ezimbi, kwaye kungekhona indlela yokulungisa umhlobo wabo. Le yindlela yodwa yokuqokelela ngokuqinisekileyo amaphupha "amahle" kunye nenkohlakalo ".


Imfazwe noxolo


Imitshato eyonwabileyo, kunye nemitshato engonwabileyo, kukho impikiswano. Ukwahlukana kukuba kwimitshato evuyayo le mfazwe emincinci iyaqhubeka ngaphandle kokuchithwa kwegazi kwaye amaxhoba akancinci. Kutheni? Ngenxa yokuba abantu bazifumana ngokukhawuleza emacaleni ahlukeneyo emithintelo, bazi kakuhle ukuba eqinisweni bahleli kwinqanawa efanayo baze badibana kwelinye icala. Zinezinto ezininzi eziqhelekileyo ezahlukileyo, kwaye iinjongo eziphambili zemfazwe ayiyiyo inkolelo, kwaye ingabi nesigwebo okanye impindezelo, kodwa uxolo, kwindlela entsha.

Iqela ngalinye linobuthakathaka balo, kukho izihloko zoncoko ezingabangela ukuba kube neengxabano. Kwaye ngelo xesha elinye iqela lihlala linelungelo lokusombulula iingxaki ezibonakala zingunaphakade. Unokufumana njani eli thuba? Iingcali zengqondo zibonelela ngeendlela ezilandelayo:

• ugweme imfazwe nangayiphi na indlela

Ukungcolisa imeko yongquzulwano , ukusinda ekucaciseni ubudlelwane. Ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki zizisombulula. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuncedo ukuhlala kude. Oku, ngokubanzi, kubhekisela kwiimeko apho isiqingatha sento esicasulayo kwezinye izinto - imikhwa, imilinganiselo, ukunambitha, njl njl. Ubunzima kakhulu apha umonde nokuqwalasela. Ukunyamezela ukukrazula ukukhungatheka, nokulinda, ukwenzela ukuba nayiphi na into xa iqabane liyenza into enhle, mbulela yena.

• Ukuba imfazwe ingenakukhutshwa, ifuna ukufikelela kwisivumelwano kuzo zonke iindleko

Kule nto, izazi zengqondo zithi, umntu kufuneka azame ngokunyanisekileyo ukuma kwindawo yokujonga ngayo - njengokuba wena ngokwakho ungummeli ummela. Izinto eziyingozi ziyabonakala kulo mzekelo! Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba iqabane livula ingxoxo-kuba wena uqala ukuyiqonda. Ukujonga kwimeko ngamehlo omnye umntu yindlela ephela yokuguqula abantu abangapheliyo babantu babini kwingxoxo.

• Ukungavumeleki kwemfazwe - ukulwa kuphela, kwaye kungekhona kuzo zonke iimfazwe zehlabathi

Ukuba abantu bayakuxolela zonke izikhalazo kwaye bangaze baphinde bacaphuke, asiyi kukwazi eli hlabathi. Ukunyaniseka kwanoma yiyiphi intukuthelo kukuba, ukuxolelwa, akupheli ngonaphakade, kodwa ulele emphefumlweni, njengothuthulo lwentlanzi yexesha elilodwa. Kwaye nasiphi na ithuba elihle-ukuxabana, umsindo kumntu othandekayo kakhulu-intukuthelo iphuma emlonyeni njengentaka yasePhoenix. Kwaye ngoku isi sibini siphikisana nanye, kodwa sibini ngokuphindaphindiweyo, sikhohlwe ukuba ulonwabo lwentsapho luba ngumvuzo wobuchule obuboniswe kwimfazwe ukuba singakhumbuli amanxeba adlulileyo kwaye singabuyeli kwiimfazwe ezidlulileyo. Kukho nawuphi na umbambano, iingcali zengqondo zicebisa, kubalulekile ukukhumbula oko abantu abayiqalileyo bazama ukufezekisa.


Ukunyaniseka nokuDibulana


Umtshato onolonwabo ngumhlaba omncinci, obomi bawo bwakhiwa ngabantu ababini. Lo bugcisa. Okumangalisa kukuba, umtshato ovuyayo unika abantu ithuba lokufakela ubomi abayifunayo - njengodongwe oludongwe. Kodwa yintoni emele ibe sisiseko sobubini kunye kunye - ukuvuleka nokuthembeka okanye umdlalo kunye nokudibanisa?

Mhlawumbi, impendulo yombuzo ingafunyanwa ukucinga ngawe. Ndifuna ntoni ukubonisa ihlabathi? Ubuhle, amandla, ubuqaqawuli, ingqiqo, ingcamango, ububele, injongo - yonke into ehle kakhulu kum. Ndifuna ukuqatshelwa, ndifuna ukuthandwa, ndifuna ukuba ihlabathi liyiqonde.

Ndifuna ukufihla ntoni? Ubunqabileyo obunxibayo okanye iipounds , ubunobunzima, ukungaxolisi, ukuzithemba, ukwesaba ukuxhwala , izimbobo ezisezintanjeni, ukungcola phantsi kweeminwe kunye nezicathulo ezingcolileyo - yonke into endiyiyo kwaye andithandi, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile ndihlala kunye mna kwaye inxalenye yam. Njengokwenene kunye nomnyama njengalunye uhlangothi lwenyanga. Kwaye ndifuna ukuba abanye bangaqapheli lo mnyama omnyama, kwaye ukuba babenjenjalo, babeza kuthathwa njengento engabalulekanga, ingabalulekanga, ingabalulekanga ngqalelo okanye, ubuncinane, bafanelwe ukuxolelwa.

Imitshato ephumelelayo iyafana nokuba abantu bakubo babona konke okusemgangathweni kwaye akukho konke okubi kakhulu ukuba kukho kwisiqingatha sabo. Ngaphezu koko, abantu abanobini abonwabileyo banenkalipho yokunyaniseka ngokunyanisekileyo neminye imilinganiselo, ukugcina ngokucophelela zonke iimpawu ezintle kwaye zikhumbule zonke iimeko ezimnandi zobomi kunye. Kubonakala ukuba, oku kuvulekileyo ukubonakalisa ukuvuleka - kungabi ukwesaba ukuxelela umntu olungileyo, ubonise ukufudumala nokuqwalasela, ukuvuma ukuba uyamthanda. Imfihlelo kukuba emva kwawo onke amazwi anemvakalelo yangempela, ingabi yintliziyo, "ngenxa yobuninzi benhliziyo umlomo uthetha." Amazwi ngaphandle kwemvakalelo, ngaphandle kokuqukethwe - ayinalutho. Akunalo ukunyaniseka, kodwa kuphela ukudibanisa.

Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo, kwiimeko apho akunakwenzeka ukuba ungaboni ukusilela, idiplomacy mayingena kuncediso, kwaye idiplomacy kuphela. Umdlalo kunye neenxalenye zengcamango zidlalwa njengento engafanelekanga, kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, yintoni ephosakeleyo ngokuthandana nothando lomntu othandekayo? Ukuthetha ngento enomsindo akunjalo, "njengokubilisa," kunye nento encinci, inqande ngakumbi. Ekugqibeleni, uze uzame ukulingana.

Inwabe emtshatweni kufuneka igcinwe, yenza yonke imizamo. Yintoni enokuba lula kwaye ngexesha elifanayo kunzima kunokuba ufumane iimbangela eziyimbambano zongquzulwano kunye nokuzisusa? Kulula - awudingi ukuba uphakamise umnwe kumntu apha. Kodwa oku kunzima kakhulu, kuba kubonisa imfuneko yokunqanda ukuzingca nokuzingca, ukuguqula imibono yakho, "thandana nomnye njengoko uzithanda wena." Kule migudu engabonakali kukho ithuba elikhulu kuyo yonke imitshato. Ekubeni iindidi zihlala zihlala zihlala zihlala zikhethekileyo-zifana nezinye izibini ezonwabileyo, okanye "zingonwabi ngendlela yazo," njengoko uLeon Tolstoy uthe.