Inkomfa yothando emtshatweni

Nonsense zonke ezi zithando-izaqathe, izinto ezingenalo uthando! Akukho luthando olungenalutho.

Kukho ukuphendula ngokuqhelekileyo komzimba ngokuphendula kwisicaciso kunye neendlela ezibonakalayo zomzimba. Iingcali ziye zafakazela oku okude.

Kwaye bazimisele ukuba yiyiphi ihomoni ejongene noko. Ngoko yintoni umgaqo wothando emtshatweni? I-Dopamine - ngenxa yolonwabo, i-serotonin - ukuzinza kwengqondo, i-phenylethylamine - ngenxa yolonwabo, kwaye i-norepinephrine ikunika "amaphiko emva kwakho." Imizwa yethu ilawulwa yizinto ezibangelwa yi-biology yomzimba wethu: i-amphetamines, i-oxytocins kunye ne-endorphins.

Umzimba uyaguquka kubo. Kufana neziyobisi, sidinga ngaphezulu nangakumbi ukuvuselela amaziko emigulane, ngaloo ndlela senza umyalelo wothando. Ezi hormone zinika ukukholelwa kothando. Emva kwexesha elithile, kwaye ngokuchanekileyo, emva kweminyaka eyi-3-4, ezi nkqubo ziyeke ukusebenza. Uthando nomtsalane, ngokuqinisekileyo, ziyabonakala. Iqela ngalinye lifuna into entsha enomdla. Ngoko, yonke uthando ngumxube we-physics, i-chemistry, i-physiology ... Inkqubo yangempela yothando emtshatweni.

Luhlobo luni lothando esinokuthetha ngalo? Iingqungquthela konke oku. Yaye ubomi bomntu bubodwa bubonisa ubungqina bokuthandana.

Okungathandekiyo?

Impembelelo ye-narcotic yama-hormone, apho, xa kungekho mveliso enganeleyo, ikhokelela ekungabikho koluthando, kwaye ngokugqithiseleyo unqabile ukwenza into kwaye icela into entsha, kunye nesisiseko sokuqhubela phambili kwendalo, yinto engapheliyo yintando enhle yothando olunzulu.

Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yezizathu ezithile ndifuna ukukholelwa ukuba kusekho ndawo, ukuba akunakwenzeka ukunciphisa kuphela kwiinkqubo zobomi kunye ne-physiology. Ngenxa yokuba kukho into engabonakaliyo kunye nokungabonakali kuyo yonke into, esiyibiza ngokuba nguMoya. Into engaqondakaliyo, imfihlelo engabonakaliyo yomntu, isakhelo sakhe sothando.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuvunyelwe ukuba ilandele ngokucacileyo intshukumo yezinto ezibonakalayo kunye nezichukumisayo, ezikhuthaza ukukhululwa kwamahomoni athile kunye nezinye izinto kwigazi. Unokwenza izimo, ubone phambili ngemiphumo yezenzo zezi hormone. Nangona kunjalo, akunakwenzeka ukuba uthinte iicandelo ezincinci zomphefumlo. Iimvakalelo, amaphupha, ukulindela, uvelwano, ukunyanzelisa - konke oku kungabonakali ngamabomu.

Nangona umntu ekhumbula aze afunde ukubiza ngokuzenzekelayo oko bafuna ukukuva, kukho nenye inyaniso ebalulekileyo ngaphakathi komntu ongavumeli ukuba wenze umyalelo wothando "ucocekileyo."

Ngaphakathi kwethu ngamnye kukho ilizwi langasese, umnini uthetha ngoxolo. Eli lizwi lwazi konke ngolwa lokwenene. Kwaye akanako ukukhohliswa ngama-hormone, ngenxa yakhe awukwazi ukwenza uhlobo lwethando.

Ukuchaneka, kunokwenzeka ukukhohlisa umntu ngokucwangcisa isizathu sakhe kunye nomzimba wakhe, kwaye ngoko udlala ixesha elide kwimithetho ebekelwe ngaphandle, ukuzithoba kwiziganeko zokuziphatha ezidlulileyo, izenzo zakhe ziyaqikelela. Kodwa kwelinye iphuzu elingaphakathi lithatha igobolondo elihle kwaye lityhila kumntu okwenyaniso. Intliziyo yakhe yayazi kuphela.

Ngokuchanekileyo oko kukugxininiswa kokuxhamla ngokusondeleyo kunye ne-cosmos, leyo leyo ingenise kwi-intelligence ephezulu, apho kungekho mntu apha emhlabeni okwazi ukunika inkcazo ecacileyo nepheleleyo.

Kodwa ngaba sikwazi ukuphulaphula nokuva lelizwi? Sisoloko siphazamiseka ngento ethile, umzekelo, umkhwa wokwamkela oko kufunwa okwangoku.

Oko sikuphulaphulayo akusiyo imnandi kuthi, kuba ibeka ukukhanya okungathandekiyo phambi kwethu nakwabanye, ibonisa iimpazamo zethu kunye neepazamo, luphawu lokungaphumeleli kwethu, ukungahambi kakuhle, ukungafanelanga. Ngubani othanda ukubona ukuqinisekiswa kweempazamo zabo kumntu othandekayo? Ngako oko, sisenokukhawuleza ukuba singaboni into eyinyani, kwaye ukucinga ngento eyona nto eyamkelekileyo kuthi kuthi ngoku, senza umgaqo wethu wothando emtshatweni.

Ihlabathi elijongene nabantu kunye neengcamango ezihambelanayo.

Siyakwazi ukusho iwaka lamawaka ngamaxesha ukuba asikhathalele oko abantu bathi ngathi. Kodwa impendulo, inyanisekileyo entliziyweni, ingabe iindaba zakho kunye nabantu zixhomekeke kubume besininzi okanye abancinci, ngokubanzi, nawuphi na uhlobo lokumela? Sinoyika ngaye, simphulaphule. Lo mthetho wobukho bomntu kuluntu, kwaye oku akunakushintshwa. Kodwa imigaqo yoluntu ayiyikulawula ukuthanda kwethu okunyanisekileyo, akukho mntu uya kukunyanzela ukuba ulandele uhlobo oluthile luthando kuwe.

Ukungafanelanga kwethu. Sinobuqili ukuba sicinge ngeemeko zethu, ngezikhathi ezithile asikwazi ukwenza ngokunyanisekileyo komphefumlo, kungekhona ngokukhawuleza, kodwa kwisicwangciso esithile esingazicwangcisi ngaphambili, esivela ekubeni inkolelo yokuba yodwa yakha. Asizami ukufumana impendulo kumbuzo obunobomi - siphumelele ukwenza oko abaninzi abantu abakwenzayo kwiimeko ezinjalo. Kodwa ke, mhlawumbi kuthiwe uhlukile, kwaye ngamnye wethu unendawo yakhe yokugcina iimpawu, ubuchule bakhe nobuso bakhe bokwenene, esingazi, kuba asizange sibheke kwizinto zakhe.

Khangela iindlela ezilula. Silandela indlela yokuncinci. Emtshatweni sizama ukwenza konke ukuze kube lula ngathi. Sinoyiko lokubona nokusombulula iingxaki. Siyakholwa ukuba uthando, emva koko, aluyikatorga kwaye ungenzi nantoni na. Nangona kunjalo, uthando ngumsebenzi wesihogo somphefumlo wethu, kwaye ngoko ke asiniki nje kuphela, kodwa uthatha into kuthi kuthi yonke iminithi. Uninzi lwethu lukholelwa ukuba uthando lukhotho olungapheliyo lweenxwaba kunye neentsikelelo. Nangona kunjalo, khumbula ukuba umlinganiselo wothando uqulethe ukukhungatheka, umona kunye neinyembezi.

Ngaphandle kwentlungu yangaphakathi, umsebenzi oqhubekayo womphefumlo wethu, akunakwenzeka ukuwuva ngamandla. Kufana nokuvutha ngaphakathi kwibhebhu. Kodwa ukuba uyayichukumisa, uya kuziva ukuba uninzi lomsebenzi phantsi kweglasi. Kwaye kuya kukulimaza.

Phantse yonke into ebalulekileyo ayikwazi ukufakwa kuphela ngamazwi amahle, ahleliweyo ukuba awakalise xa ekhuluma nomntu othandekayo kwisigaba sobuhlobo bomtshato. Ubomi babantu abuyelwe kuphela kwietekese, iintyatyambo, amagama athandekileyo. Ebomi kukho intlungu, kunye noxinzelelo. Ukuba umntu uyabayika kwaye ukholelwa oko
abahambelani neemvakalelo zinyani, bayaphutha.

Kwiimeko ezinzima zobudlelwane, sikwazi ukubona ubuso obunene bomntu wethu othandekayo, apho zonke iimaski zihamba, yonke i-bluff. U-Theognis wathi: "Ngendlela eyahlukileyo, zive udidi lwabahlobo bakho, ngokukodwa, jonga, ngubani onomsindo." Unokuthi nangothando.

Nangona kunjalo, ungayithathi ngokoqobo, kuba ngokufubeni, kwindawo echaphazelayo, umntu unokuthetha izinto ezinobungozi ezingabulala nothando. Izinkulungwane zeentsapho zatshatyalaliswa, zilahlekelwa ngumbandela ohambelana nothando emtshatweni, kwaye zingapheli ukufudumala kwezinto ezithandwa ngabanye abathandekayo. Umntu unobuthathaka, uziphatha okubi kwaye uhlala ephosakeleyo.

Nangona kunjalo, kwindawo ethile eminzini yomphefumlo i-timer countdowndown imizuzu yamanga. Xa elala yena, uyazi. Umntu uhlala eyazi ukuba ingqondo yakhe iphosa intloko yakhe, kwaye akenzi kwezinye iimeko kwi-Soul's soul, kodwa ngale ndlela:
- njengoko kufanelekile;

- njengoko umthetho wepakethi uthi;

- njengokuba umntu wayiqalile.

Umphefumlo ungengqiqo. Ngexesha elihle li thunyelwa kwiindawo ezinjalo, zilala zilahla kakhulu kangangokuba awuyi kuhamba. Nangona kunjalo, kuyafaneleka ukuzama.

Uthando lubona ubuso bobubomi bomntu, kwintloni eyoyikrakra kakhulu, kwiimeko ezithandekayo zokuzikhusela, esizithatha ngezikhathi ezithile. Inkomfa yothando emtshatweni ifuna ukungqinelana.

Ngoko ke, yintoni kanye kule miba yobonakaliso bomntu, siyazi omnye nomnye.

Into eyenza umntu abe kufuphi nehlabathi, kwaye ulungele ukumbonisa izinto ezimbi kakhulu zomntu wakho kwaye uzivumela ukuba ube buthathaka, ungaphelelekanga, ungabi nhle kakhulu, ungaboni ngokwaneleyo - njengoko unjalo. Akayi kuguquka kuwe, kodwa uyakuthanda ngakumbi kwaye uyakuqonda njengoko wenzayo. Oko sele kuxabiseke kakhulu.

Ukuthembela kumntu mna, mna, ongenakunceda kunye nobuthathaka, ukuthembela ngokuqinisekileyo nangenakuphikelela, ukwazi nokuqonda ukuba ngokwenza njalo uya kukhuselwa kwaye uthembele-lo luphawu lokuqala lwenyaniso, okwangoku umlinganiselo wothando emtshatweni uqala ukufumana ngokucacileyo iimpawu.

Kanti ... Silungele ukuthanda bonke abantu, kodwa asiyazi ukuba singamthanda njani umntu othile. Sifuna uthando lwethu lube lukhulu, luhle ngokumangalisayo, njengekhredithi kwi-albhamu, sifuna ukwakha ifom efanelekileyo yothando emtshatweni. Ewe, kuba ubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla bubonakala bunzulu! Nangona ungaphupha ngothando?

Enyanisweni, uthando luyingozi kakhulu. Yena, ucingisise, idibaniswe nelo hlobo lobomi lobomi njengoko uhlambulula indlu kwaye uthabatha imfucuza, iisokisi ezingcolileyo kunye neentambo ezimanzi. Kwaye oku kufuneka ulungele, kufuneka wenze i-formula yakho yothando.

Musa ukulibala ukuba uthando lusebenza kanye kanye kwaye luphumle, luphefumlo nje, luphefumlelweyo, ngaphandle kwayo yonke into etshabalalayo. Kwaye kufuneka ukwamkele kuzo zonke iingxaki, ukungafani, ukudideka nokufumana izinto, intlungu, ukuzonwabisa, ulonwabo, kuba ngaphandle koluthando, ubomi bomntu abukhathazeki.