Enyanisweni, oontanga lwabo, ngoku, kunjalo, kodwa abanye abantu banenyaniso enomdla kubomi bentsha. Kwenzeka ntoni kubomi bentsha? Iyintoni ixabiso lentsha? Ziziphi iimeko ezinomdla kunye neembono ezibenza benze ngendlela ethile? Ziziphi iinjongo kunye nezinto ezichaphazela ukuphuhlisa nokuphuhliswa kwazo?
Ukuthetha ngobomi bentsha, kulungile ukuyeka ezintathu kwiingcamango ezifana nesondo, uthando kunye notywala. Abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba kubantu abancinci ezi ngcamango ziye zaphosakela kwaye ziye zalahlekelwa xabiso. Ewe, ezininzi iinkcukacha ziqinisekisa oku. Inxalenye ethile yabaselula bayeka ukukhangela amanqaku anomdla, iimvakalelo ezinzulu, izinto ezithandwayo kunye nezinto ezinjalo. Abaninzi babo balinganisa ubulili nothando, kwaye ungalokothi ukhohlwe ngotywala.
Kodwa, enyanisweni, akubona bonke abantu abatsha bacinga njalo. Ngokomzekelo, makhe sixoxe ngesondo. Kukholelwa ukuba amaninzi amantombazana aqala ukulala ngesini kwishumi elinesihlanu okanye elishumi elinesithandathu. Kakade, kwisizukulwana esidala esi samkelekanga, kodwa kulungile ukuphanda ukuba kutheni le nto yimeko. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho abafazi abancinci abafunda iiblogi ezininzi kwaye baphulaphule intombi ezintloni ezikholelwa ukuba ubuntombi bunengxaki emele ipheliswe. Ngoko baqala ukulala ngesantya kunye nomntu wonke kumqolo, aze ahlupheke kuyo. Kodwa ungacingi ukuba onke amantombazana amantombazana akholelwa kwaye enza ngale ndlela. Kukho abo bathatha le ngxaki ngokungathí sina, nangona bayayicinga. Ngokulula, iintsholongwane zanamhlanje zikhula ngokukhawuleza ngakumbi nangaphambili kunesizukulwana esidlulileyo. Ngoko ke, iimfuno zabo ziyahlukahluka. Amantombazana angabi nantoni na onontanga, kuba abafana, abaneminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu ukuya kwiminyaka elishumi elinesixhenxe, basoloko behlala abantwana. Bakhangele abafana abanento ethile ebomini babo kwaye baphatha ngobunzulu ubudlelwane. Ngenxa yoko, bakhetha abo baneminyaka emihlanu okanye emithandathu. Yiloo nto ingxaki yokuba aba bantu kule minyaka bafuna ukuba nobulili obuqhelekileyo kunye namantombazana kufuneka anqume ukuba ngaba ukulungele ukuhamba ngenxa yomntu othandekayo. Kuyathakazelisa ukuba amaninzi amantombazana ayigqibo malunga nale nyathelo, kuphela ngenxa yothando lomfana, ekubeni, ngokwenene, alungele oku. Ngoko ke, banokuba neengxaki ezahlukahlukeneyo ngokubhekelana ngesondo, iinkimbinkimbi ziyavela, kwaye abafana, benganeliseki, baqala ukutshintsha. Kule meko, akubona onke amantombazana amancinci ayaqonda ukuba ityala labo alikho kulo. Ngokulula, abaselula abanalo amava kunye nomonde ukulinda ixesha elifanelekileyo kwaye benze konke okulungileyo.
Kwaye, ukuqhubela phambili kulo, kunokwenzeka ukuba udlule kumbuzo wesibili-umbuzo ngokuphathelele uthando. Ngoku, amantombazana amaninzi adangelekile kule mvakalelo, kuba abantu bayeka ukuzama ukusifumana baze baziphathe njengabafana. Kuyathakazelisa ukuba oomama ngokwawo babeka ityala ngale nto, nangona kude kude konke oku kuqondwa. Ufikelelo olulula yingxaki ebalulekileyo yolutsha olutsha. Amadoda ayeka ukuxabisa abafazi kunye noxanduva lwabo. Bakufumanisa kulula ukushiya intombazana kwaye bafumane omnye umntu oza kulala naye, kunokuba alinde ade alungele. Kwakhona, abaninzi abantu abakhathalelekanga ngokukhipha isisu kwaye bacinga ukuba oku kungengxaki yabo nonke.
Kodwa, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba akubona bonke abantu abanjalo. Kukho abafana, kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo abantu abadibana nabo bafumana iminyaka engama-20 ubudala, abachaphazelekayo kunye neemvakalelo ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Bakholelwa ukuba uthando alukwazi ukwakhiwa kuphela kwisifiso somzimba kwaye silungele ukulinda intombazana ethandekayo njengoko kuyimfuneko.
Kwakhona, eli candelo labantu abatsha lijongene nethuba lokukhulelwa komntwana kwaye balungele ukuthatha uxanduva kubo. Baqonda ingozi epheleleyo yokukhipha isisu kwaye, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunoko, baphatha kakubi kakhulu. Kunzima ukutsho ukuba kutheni le minyaka ihlukile kwabanye. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba, aba bantwana baqala ukuva ingcamango yobomi abadala kunye nexesha ababeneminyaka engamashumi amabini, bebenalo kakade, beqonda ukuba iimvakalelo kunye neembono zibaluleke ngaphezu kokulala ngokwesini kunye notywala.
Ngotywala, le nto nayo inomdla kakhulu. Kungatsholwa ukuba abo abangafundanga esikolweni okanye abafuna ukuhlala kwinqanaba elithile lenkcubeko baya kubanjwa kwibhotile. Abantu abancinci banokuqiniseka ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuphumla ngaphandle kotywala. Kwakhona, kukho abo bahlala ubomi obunjalo kwiminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo elinesixhenxe kwaye ngoku, befikelele kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini, baqonda ukuba kungcono ukuphumla kumaziko amnandi kwaye basele iwayini ebiza, kunokuba bavelele kwiibhentshi zewayini lokuchweba ngaphandle kokucinga ngomso. Kwakhona, kukho abafana abalishumi elinesibhozo-elishumi elinesithandathu ubudala kunye namantombazana abathanda iincwadi ezintle kunye nezesayensi, sele sele bekwazi ukuba bafuna ntoni kwaye bengazifuni ukulimaza impilo yabo ngotywala kunye ne-cigarettes. Ngendlela, kuyiphutha ukukholelwa ukuba abantwana abanjalo banqatshelwe kunye neebhodan. Abaninzi babo, ngokuchaseneyo, banalo ukuthandwa kunye nentlonelo nje kuphela koontanga babo, kodwa nakwabantwana abadala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwintshukumo yolutsha oluqhelekileyo ngoku ifufusa ukuba ingabhemi okanye isiphuze, kodwa ukudlala imidlalo kwaye iholele indlela yokuphila enempilo.
Ngoko ke, ukujonga ulutsha lwangoku, ungacingi ukuba bonke baxhatshazwa ngokwesini kunye notywala. Enyanisweni, kwaye eneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo, amantombazana amantombazana ayazi ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene, kodwa uhlale ucinga malunga nobukhulu bemibuzo malunga nesondo kunye nemiphumo yabo. Kwaye bayazi nendlela yokwamkela intlungu kunye nokudumala kumadoda ngokunyaniseka, benganxiliswa okanye bezama ukusika imiva. Ngelo xesha, akubona bonke abafana bacinga nje ngesondo kunye nabani na. Kukho abo bathandana ixesha elide, benzima kwaye banquma yonke into, kodwa ke bayayithanda iminyaka emininzi kwaye bakulungele ukuqonda nokuxhasa intombi yabo kuzo zonke iimeko. Futhi ungaphuzi kunye nabahlobo imihla ngemihla, ngaphandle kokucinga ngokufunda, ukusebenza kunye nekamva. Nanku ulutsha olunomdla kakhulu. Yaye inyaniso yokuba ikhona, into emangalisayo, inomdla kwaye, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, iyonwabisa.