Bonke abazali baphupha ukubona abantwana babo abanengqiqo, abanenkathalo, abazimeleyo nabaphumelelayo. Yaye ukuba umntwana engakwazi ukuqonda, umama kunye no-egoist, umama noyise baya kugubha ngokukhawuleza: "Lo wazalwa ...". Enyanisweni, abantwana abazalwa ngokulungileyo, kodwa baba. Kwaye, ngaphandle kokuncediswa nokulawulwa ngokufanelekileyo kokuqonda nabazali abanenkathalo. Ngendlela yokuphumelela kwaye ukhuphe ukungaphumeleli ekukhuliseni abantwana, funda eli nqaku.
1. Ungaze uhlazise umntwana!
Abanye abazali ezintliziyweni zabo bathi: "Kutheni ujikeleza into enjalo!" Okanye "Hayi, wena kunye ne-idiot!". La magama awamane adibanise umntwana - ayifake ngokuzenzekelayo kuwe. Akunakuze umntwana angakuhloneli emva koko, ungaze uthembele kuwe. Unokuphulaphula ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlwaywa, kodwa kwikamva, xa ukuxhomekeka kwemikhosi kungeke kubekho kuwe, uya kukukhumbula konke.
2. Musa ukutshintshelwa kwisongelo
Iisongelo ziyancipha emehlweni omntwana umfanekiso wakho njengabazali. Ukusongela umntwana, uthobekile emehlweni akhe. Ngengqiqo umntwana uyaqonda ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana nayo, awukwazi ukumkholisa ngendlela efanelekileyo, eqhelekileyo. Ngako oko, isongelo sibubungqina obungenangqondo kunye nabangenamandla obungabonakaliyo bokuthotywa kwabazali. Uza kulawula umntwana, kodwa kube ngumzuzwana xa engakhange aqine ngaphezu kwakho. Kwaye ngoko ke uya kuhamba, kwaye uya kushiyedwa wedwa. Kwimeko embi kakhulu - jonga ngokucophelela kwiingxelo zolwaphulo-mthetho kwiindaba.
Iingcali zengqondo zichaza: kungekhona ukusongela - akuthethi ukuba bonke bavumele. Imvume ekukhulisweni kwabantwana inemiphumo embi kakhulu kunezoyikrakra zabazali. Xa abantwana bewela imida evumelekileyo, kufuneka umise oku, ukuba uphephe ukungaphumeleli emva koko. Chaza kumntwana into ephosakeleyo kuyo. Qinisekisa ukuba uyakuqonda, kwaye ngoko, ngokuxhomekeke kwisilinganisi sezono, unokufaka isicelo sohlwayo. Ayikho nayiphi na indlela engokwenyama! Oku kungavunyelwa ukuhamba, ukulahla i-sweet for a week or other measures.
3. Musa ukuBonga uBantwana bakho
Uninzi lwabazali, ngokukodwa kule minyaka yobudala bentloko, bakhetha ukuhlawula abantwana babo ngamabanga amabakala, ukufumana uncedo ekhaya, ukuzinakekela okanye abazithandayo, njalonjalo. Abantwana baxhamla ngokukhawuleza kwingcamango yokuba banokufumana imali enemisebenzi emihle. Oku kuba yinto ebalulekileyo ebomini babo. Kwaye uqala: "Mama, ndatshitshisa ekamelweni! Ingakanani na oya kuninika yona? "Okanye" ndondla udadewethu omncinci. Unetyala. " Kuyamangalisa xa umntwana ephendulela umsebenzi wakhe othe ngqo njengonyana, umzalwana okanye umhlobo emsebenzini apho bahlawula khona. Akasenakufunda ukuphumelela, ukufunda into enomdla, kodwa ukuze athole umdlalo omtsha okanye enye i-whim. Uncedisa umama ogulayo kungekhona kumfesane kuye, kodwa ngenxa yeenjongo ze-mercantile: uncedo oluninzi, luya kuhlawulwa ngaphezulu. Omnye unokucinga nje ukuba ulindele ntoni intsapho ezayo kwaye ngubani oza kuba ngumncinci omncinci kwiminyaka embalwa.
4. Musa ukumnyanzela umntwana omncinane ukuba akuthembise nantoni na
Cinga ngolu hlobo. Little Pavlik wenza into embi. Umama uthukuthele. Uthi kuye: "Ndiqiniseke ukuba awuyi kuphinda uyenze!" UPavlik uyavuma. Kodwa kungekhona ihora elidlula, njengoko yonke into iphinda. Umama enomsindo: "Undithembisile!" Umntwana ukhala ngokukrakra, engayiqondi into ayimangalela yona. Akayiqondi loo nto.
Inyani kukuba abantwana abancinci bahlala ngoku. Oku sele kuqinisekiswe ngokwesayensi. Ucela ukuba uthethe into ethile, wenzayo ngoku. Kodwa isithembiso sithatha ukungenzi into engavunyelwe ke ngoko, kwikamva. Ukulungiselela umntwana lo msebenzi ongenakwenzeka. Akakwazi ukugcina isithembiso sakhe kuba nje uya kuyilibala ngaye. Ukusoloko ujezisa ukuba intsana ayigcinanga isithembiso sayo, uya kufeza enye into: kuye igama elithi "isithembiso" liza kuba lizwi elingenanto. Emva kwexesha, akayi kukwazi ukuphumelela kwaye aphephe ukungaphumeleli, kukho iingxaki ezininzi ezilindele kuye. Umntu omdala kunye noyinyani.
5. Musa ukunyamekela kakhulu umntwana wakho.
Abazali "ukunakekelwa kwengqondo" ekukhulisweni kwabantwana kuyonakalisa ukuzithemba komntwana, kudala iindawo ezinzima. Xa umama, enqwenela ukukhusela umntwana wakhe, uyamxwayisa, ubonakala ngathi: "Awukwazi ukwenza oku ngokwakho. Awukwazi ukuyisebenzisa. Ulunge, ungacacanga ngokwaneleyo, unobuthakathaka. " Ngoko, ubuncinane, umntwana wakhe uyaziqonda. Kwaye oku kuhlehliswa kwi-subcortex yakhe, ihlala phantsi kwi-subconscious kwaye kwixesha elizayo ngokuqinisekileyo ayiyi kukwazi ukwenza isigqibo ngokwayo. Uninzi lwabazali banethemba lokuba abantwana babo bancinci. Isiqubulo sabo sifanele sizwakala ngathi: "Ningalokothi nenze into ebantwaneni abanokuyenza ngokwabo."
6. Musa ukuxuba imibuzo yabantwana
Eminye imibuzo ebuzwa ngumntwana ibonakala kuthi ngamanye amaxesha izalisekisa izinto ezingenangqondo. "Kutheni iindlovu zikhulu?", "Ingaba imvula? Imaphi imilenze yakhe? "Eminye yemibuzo nje ayifuni ukuba uphendule:" Kutheni na ugogo wethu wafa? "," Wena kunye noTata usuqhawule? Nini? ". Kule meko, abazali bazama ukuxubha eceleni, ukuba babalekele impendulo. Ukuba umbuzo "awunakunqweneleka" - banokukrakra kumntwana, memeze: "Yintoni enamathela kwiimpendulo? Ndilahle kum! "Umntwana ushiywe yedwa kunye nento engamniki. Unobungqina bokuba abantu abasondeleyo bacinga ukuba iingxaki zakhe ziyintsilelo, ukuba akanakho umntu oya kuye, akukho mntu omele ukuphulaphula. Kulo hlobo, kubonakala ngathi, kubangele ukuba abantwana belo xesha banesizungu. "Kukhula" kule mibuzo engaphenduliweyo, engayihoywa, kodwa ibaluleke kakhulu kumntwana.
7. Musa ukuthobela imfama ngokukhawuleza.
Masithi umyeni wakho uthi kuwe: "Phosa into oyenzayo, kwaye ndikhawuleze ndizise indebe yekhofi!" Uphendule njani? Ewe, ubuncinane le ndebe yekhofi iya kubhabha ebusweni bakhe. Kwaye khawucinge ngako - umntwana wakho uvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezifanayo xa ufuna ukuba uqedele umdlalo ngokukhawuleza kwaye uzalise iimfuno zakho. Musani kuba ngabashicileli! Nika umntwana ithuba lokugqiba ishishini labo.
Amaqela alungele izinja zenkonzo. Kwaye ke, ukuba uphumelele kwaye ukhuphe ukungaphumeleli kwimfundo yezilwanyana kunokuba emva kokuqeqeshwa okukhethekileyo kunye nokunyanzeliswa, rhoqo, ukukhuthaza kwangoku. Oko kukuthi, inja yazalisekisa umyalelo - ngokukhawuleza inike isiqwenga seshizi okanye isobho. Oku kuyimfuneko yomsebenzi! Ewe, ngaba sifuna ukuba umntwana azalise zonke iimfuno zethu ngokukhawuleza nangento? Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba sikhuthaze, "sithululela" kumntwana ubuninzi bokungabi namdla: "Hayi, ekugqibeleni, kwenziwa! Kuze ugube kuwe, awukwazi ukuhamba ukusuka kwindawo yakho! Awunakho ukunyaniseka! "Akukho mqeqeshi ozihloniphayo uya kuvumela ukuba aphathe isilwanyana ngale ndlela. Kwaye nabazali abaninzi baphatha abantwana abanjalo. Akukho mbuzo waluphi na umgaqo-olawulo olulawulayo, ukuba sifuna ukufundisa abantu abakhululekile abakwaziyo ukuzimela baze benze izigqibo ezizimeleyo.
8. Funda ukuxelela umntwana wakho "cha"
Oku kubonakala kubonakala, kodwa kungaba luvavanyo olunzulu kubazali abaninzi. Vimbela yonke into - awukwazi, kwaye ayibuqili. Kodwa yonke into iyimbi ngakumbi. Ungayifumana njani ithetha legolide ngaphandle kokonakalisa umntwana? Enyanisweni, kuxhomekeka kakhulu kumntwana. Abantwana bahluke, emva koko. Amagama alulayo aya kukwanela: "Asikwazi ukuyithenga ngoku. Ibiza kakhulu, "kwaye enye ingxolo engenanto. Kwaye ukungaxhaswanga kwivenkile akunakuphetshwa. Kwaye imeko ihluke. Umzekelo, umntwana uyagula. Ngamanye amaxesha, ugula kakhulu. Abazali balungele ukwenza nantoni na ukunciphisa imeko yakhe. Kuloo mizuzu ukuba unokutshabalalisa umlingana womntwana kwiminyaka emininzi ezayo.
Ukukwazi ukuthetha "akukho" kuyimfuneko. Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bacinga ukuba ngokwenza oku kwenza umntwana angonwabi. Ngoko-yonke indlela. Iingcali eziphambili zeengqondo zehlabathi ziye zabonisa ixesha elide ukuba ihlabathi elingenalo naluphi na ukuthintela kumntwana lubuhlungu. Ukwazisa kwixinzelelo oluqinileyo kwaye nokuba yimbangela yokuzibulala komntwana. Awuzange uzibuze ukuba kutheni abantwana abaninzi abazali abacebileyo - izilwanyana, izidakwa, izigwenxa okanye ngokukhawuleza okanye bazibulale emva koko? Ngenxa yokuba banakho konke, bonke bayavunyelwa, akukho nto inqatshelwe. Baxhamla ukuba baphile, abanalo njongo, akukho nto ikhuthaza ukuba benze nantoni na. Emva koko, sithatha into engelula ukuyifumana. Kwaye ukuba yonke into sele iphunyeziwe kwiimfuneko zokuqala -yintoni na kufuneka ndiyilwe? Kutheni uhlala kuzo zonke? Nantsi ifilosofi. Tshela abantwana "cha" ngokwenene - musa ukwenza abantwana bakho bajabule.
9. Yiba njalo kwizicelo zakho
Ukuba ngoMvulo, umama ucela umntwana ukuba aye esitolo, kwaye ngoLwesibili uthi: "Ngaphandle kwam esitolo okanye unyawo!" - yintoni ocinga ngayo ngomntwana? Enyanisweni, kukho ixesha elininzi lokungahambelani kwimihla ngemihla. Ngokomzekelo, namhlanje umntwana waqala ukugxila embhedeni. Wamgxeka. Ngomso umhlobo weza kuwe kunye nawe, ukuba nje ulahle umntwana, ukuze "angayi ngaphantsi kweenyawo zakhe", uthi kuye: "Kulungile, hamba uyanqumla embhedeni. Musa nje usikhathaze kunye nonina wakho. " Ezi zihlandlo azamkelekanga ekukhuliseni abantwana! Abayi ku khokela kuyo nayiphi na into enhle, ngaphandle kwendlela yokutshatyalalisa uhlobo lomntwana kwaye akunikele ngenxa yesiphumo esininzi. Ukongezelela, umntwana kufuneka azi kakuhle ukuba yenzeni, kwaye yintoni enokwenziwa. Oku kungafanelekanga - ngoko umntwana uya kuziva ekhuselekileyo kwaye ezolile.
10. Ungangenisi imithetho engahambelani neminyaka yomntwana
Ungalindeli umntwana oneminyaka emibini ukukunceda ngokucoca okanye ukunyamekela isilwanyana sakho. Yiba ngqiqo. Yenza inkunzi yenze ntoni emandleni akhe-ukutyhala ientyatyambo, isula uthuli ngendwangu etafileni, unike ikati isahluko se-sausage. Yaye qiniseka ukuba umdumise ngomsebenzi ogqityiweyo, nokuba ngaba kufuneka uyenze ukuyibuyisela kwakhona.
11. Musa ukubangela ukuba umntwana abe nesigqibo sokuba netyala
Esi sono, ngesizathu esithile, kuphela umama. Yiyo "isixhobo sayo esiyimfihlo" sokulawulwa komntwana. Ngokukhawuleza xa wenza into engavumelaniyo, unina uthi: "Ndiyilwahlwayo sam! Awuthandi, andithandi! Ukwenza oku kum ngobubi, nangona uyazi ukuba ndinentliziyo egula! Ndiza kugula ndife - kwaye ke ... "Ngokuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yomntwana, amagama angatshintsha, kodwa isitshixo sihlala sisifanayo - ukukwenza umntwana azive enetyala. Kodwa ngale ndlela akanakuphumelela kwaye aphephe ukuhluleka ekukhuliseni abantwana. Emva koko, kwenzeka ntoni? Ngenxa yosizi kumama, abantwana baya kufumana imfundo efanelwe naye, baye emsebenzini abayithandayo, ukudala intsapho kunye nomntu omkholisayo. Unina uba ngumlobi wobomi bonke bomntwana osele ekhulile. Yaye ukuba uyayicinga ukungahloneli - kwakhona iziphakamiso ezilandelayo: "Awuzisoli ngumama! Ndiyenzele yonke into kuwe! Ndincama kakhulu, kwaye wena ... "Ngaba ufuna ukuyenza emntwaneni wakho" into "engenako ukwenza izigqibo zayo kwaye ingabi nobomi bayo? Emva koko qhubeka uziva uxolo, utyhafise umntwana kwaye uxele ihlabathi lonke ngeengxaki zakho.
12. Musa ukunika imiyalelo ukuba awuhlosi ukuba ufune ukubulawa kwawo
Nantsi imeko yeklasikhi. Unina uthi kumntwana: "Musa ukukhwela esihlalweni." Umntwana uyaqhubeka nokunyuka. "Misha, ndithi kuwe, ungakhwelezi esihlalweni!" Umntwana akayikunyamekela. Ekugqibeleni, unina unika kwaye ushiye, ushiye umntwana wedwa ngokungathobeli kwakhe. Yintoni ekupheleni? Igunya likaMama lincinci ngokupheleleyo. Umntwana akayi kukuphulaphula. Akayi kumthemba. Ngenxa yokuba ubona. Ukuba utshintshe izigqibo zakhe ngokukhawuleza. Ngaba ungamthemba umntu onjalo? Ngokomgaqo, le mhlathi ifana nombuzo wokuhambelana neemfuno. Ukuba unqabela into ethile - yenza ukuba le nto iphele. Mthabathe uze ususe umntwana kwisitulo esibi. Ekugqibeleni, unokuwa nokuzilimaza kakhulu - kwaye kuya kuba yinto ephosakeleyo kuphela. Ngaba uyayifuna le nto?