Indlela yokuphula isangqa esichukumisayo kwaye kulula kangakanani ukushiya umfana? Makhe sibone!
Sisoloko sinikeza omnye umqondiso. Baya kusinceda silungise ukuziphatha kwethu kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngaba bathanda abanye okanye bawuthandi. Xa uthanda, ezi zibonakalisa ngathi "Ndiyakuthanda", "Ndifuna ukuba nawe". Kwaye xa umntu engathandeki kuwe, uqala ukumkhawulelana naye - "hambani," "andikufuni," "andikudingi," oko kukuthi, ebonisa ukuba ubundlobongela. Ngobu lungisa, kufuneka ndithi ininzi yethu yenza okungazi, ngokwenene izama ukuziphatha njengabantu abahloniphekileyo, oko kukuthi, ngokunyaniseka. Ngenxa yoko, izazi zeengqondo zibiza ngokuthi "ukuchasana kwezixhobo" ezinobundlobongela.
Ukuhlukana kuhlale kunzima. Kodwa into enye, xa engakhathaleli ngawe, utshintshe okanye uhlabe, okanye ufungele. Emva koko ukugqibela kubonakala kulungile. Kwaye kunjalo - ukuthetha ngento, akukho nto "makhe sihlanganyele" kumntu oye wachitha iminyaka embalwa, okwazi ukuba yinxalenye yobomi bakho kwaye akazange akwenze nantoni na?
Akumnandi, kukuphi na ukuthetha. Ngandlela-thile. Kuyavela, ukuba ulungile, kwaye uyamphonsa, ngoko ulungile? Ewe, ukuba usetyenziselwe ukwahlula ihlabathi kwizinto ezimbi kunye ezilungileyo. Kule meko, umntu kufuneka abe netyala, kwaye kuvela ukuba uya kuba netyala xa umshiya. Ngoko musa ukuyeka, ukuthobela, "ukuthwala umnqamlezo wakho." Kwaye ukuba kuye kubonakala kungenakulinganiswa nokuphila kwakhe, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukhululekile ukushiya, ukuphosa wena, u-scoundrel onjalo ... kwaye ke uya kuzama ngokufanelekileyo kwi-halo namaphiko, kwaye wena, ngabahlobo abanesihawu, uya kukhangela iingcinga kunye nomsila ngengqondo. Yiyiphi eyakuza kubonakaliswa ...
Ubundlobongela obuqhelekileyo bubonakaliso balabo banqwenela ukutshintsha uxanduva kwinto nabani na. Kwabo abafuni ukukhula. Baziphatha njengabantwana, abakwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabo, bavakalise amagama abo esithi "Ndiyifunayo" kwaye "Andifuni". Kodwa abantwana abakwazi, kodwa ubuntu obuncinane abufuni. Enyanisweni kubalulekile ukuthatha uxanduva kwizenzo kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukuva uvakalelo lwemposiso, kwaye ke, unako, kunye nalo ngokwawo luya kusombulula.
Uxanduva kunye necala lihamba ngesandla, kuba ziindidi ezinxulumene: uxanduva lombono, ityala livakalelwa, kwaye lidibene. Okokuthi, ukuqaphela ukuxhomekeka komntu kuye kwenza ukuba unetyala - kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo, amava enempilo ekhokelela ekukhuleni nasekuphuhlisweni komntu kwiimeko zobudlelwane. Ewe, akumangalisi ukuziva unetyala, ngakumbi xa ungayazi ukuba kulula kangakanani ukushiya umfana. Ngelishwa, i-ideology yomntu wabathengi ixabisa ixabiso lokuphuhliswa kweentlungu kunye nentlungu, kwaye yinto engathandekiyo. Ubomi, njengoko iimpawu zentengiso ziboniswa, kufuneka zivuyiswe ngokupheleleyo, ngoko ke kubonakala ngathi zendalo ukuba abaninzi abafuni ukuthatha uxanduva kwizenzo ezingabangela abanye iintlungu. Kodwa ngaba uyicinga ukuba ubomi bokwenene akwenzeki ukulimaza nabani na?
Olunye udidi lwabo abonisa ubundlobongela obuninzi ngabantu abangenakubizwa ngokuba ngumsindo. Baziphepha ngamabomu nayiphi na ingxabano kunye neengxabano, kuba ngeemeko ezinjalo abazi ukuba baziphathe njani, bekwesaba, bengazi kakuhle ukuba bangasongela ubomi. Baqonda ngengqondo yabo ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba icala "elikhubekileyo" liya kubabulala baze badle. Kodwa izimo zengqondo zibekwa ebuntwaneni, kwaye umntwana ovutha ngumsindo wabazali, apho ubomi bakhe buxhomekeke khona, kuthetha ukutshatyalaliswa ngokusemthethweni. Yaye xa umntwana ekhula kwindawo engabonakaliyo, engayiqondi ukuba yintoni yesibini esilandelayo inokubangela ukuvutha komsindo kwabazali, ufunda ukugqithisa iingxube ezinobundlobongela obuqhelekileyo, ngokungaqhelekanga ukunyanzelisa iimfuno zakhe. Kulula ukuba umntu onjalo angaqapheli ingxaki, kunokuba axoxe ngawo. Yaye uya kutsala ixesha, aphephe uxhumano ngqo, enze sengathi akukho nto eyenzekayo ukuphepha ingxoxo engathandekiyo. Iinkqubo ziyakwazi ukuxiliswa kakhulu - ukusuka ekulibazisekeni rhoqo ukuya kumahlaya angapheliyo. Ama-Jokers, ngendlela, abonisa indlela yokuziphatha engahambisani nobudlova: bayazibona iimpawu zesiphepho esiseduze kwaye bafumane indlela yokuyicima loo ngxaki ngoncedo lwamahlaya.
Umlingane onobudlova uhlala ephethe omnye umntu, emphoqelele ukuba acinge iimvakalelo zakhe aze amncede. Phakathi kwabo bakhetha indlela yokuziphatha enobudlova kunabo abaye baphephe ikhefu, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba yena uyesaba intlungu, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ukwesaba ukuwenza lakhe iqabane.
Ukuziphatha okunjalo kuyingozi kakade kuba umntu wenqaba ubomi bakhe, ukuguqula imisebenzi yokukhula kwakhe kunye nokuqonda komnye: "Makhe (a) enze oko ndikufunayo." Ngoko umntu akayi kufunda ukwenza oko kubalulekile kuye. Kodwa ukwenqaba ukufumana amava amaninzi akuthinteli oko kuyimfuneko. Nangona ihamba kunye neengxabano ezibuhlungu. Ukuthatha uxanduva malunga noko omnye umntu ozivakalelwa kukuba yindlela ekhethekileyo ye-megalomania. Kuvela ukuba silawula iimvakalelo zabanye abantu, kwaye oku akunjalo.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba umntu ongenamdla-ukuziphatha kakubi kukuphela kokufa, kwaye le ntombazana ingazi ukuba kulula kangakanani ukushiya umfana. Iyalithintela uxhulumano-isiseko salo naluphi na ubudlelwane. Yaye xa isi sibini sisahlukana, oku akuyikuyicombulula iingxaki zabantu ababini: akukho mntu owaziyo na, izifundo azizange zifundwe kwaye kwixesha elizayo kukho ithuba elikhulu lokuhamba ngegama elinye.
Xa kukho ubunzima kwezobudlelwane babini, kuhlala kunenzuzo ukuyibiza. Iinzame zokuphathwa kakubi nje kuphela, kodwa nazo zingenzi nto. "Makuqonde ukuba ndiyagula" okanye "akunjalo ngokucacileyo ukuba ndihlupheke" - lo ngumzekelo oqhelekileyo wokuziphatha komntwana, xa umama eqikelela ukuba umntwana akayithandi into ngenxa yokukhala kwakhe okanye ezinye izibonakaliso ezingekho phantsi kwezandla. Ubomi bomntu obuninzi (ubomi obudibeneyo babantu abalinganayo) akukho mntu unyanzelekile ukuba ahlale eqiqa iingcinga zabanye, aqonde enye ngaphandle kwamagama. Ngamanye amaxesha unako, kodwa akufanelekile. Yingakho indlela kuphela yokuzisa umntu ohlala naye ngasemva, ukuba ubuhlobo bakho kukho ingxaki enkulu, kukuthetha naye. Ngaphezu koko, kufuneka ndithi, oku kufuneka kwenziwe, kungekuphela nje xa wena ubonisa ukuziphatha okungenangqumbo, kodwa nangona uqonda ukuba ezo ndlela zisebenzise kuwe. Kwaye, xa uqalise ingxoxo enjalo, kubalulekile ukuba uxelele malunga nento ekukuvakalisa yona, ayikufanelanga, inokukucaphuka - ngaphandle kokubhaliweyo okanye ukumangalela lakho iqabane elivakalelwa ngale ndlela, kwaye kungenjalo. Kwaye, ke, xubusha ngezinto ozilungele ukuzenza ukuze uqonde kakuhle. Nangona ngamanye amaxesha inyaniso yeso ncoko ingaba enye yezenzo ezinjalo. Emva koko, ingxoxo yeengxaki ngumqondiso wokungakhathaleli umntu osondeleyo.
Ngomqondo othile, ukuziphatha okungenangqumbo ngumqondiso wolu suku, ngenxa yokuba sihamba sisuka komnye nomnye, sikhetha inyaniso. Ukunxibelelana kwikhompyutha (nge-intumwa ze-intanethi okanye i-sms-app) ithuba elihle lokufihla iimvakalelo eziqinisekileyo: ubuso bakho abubonakali, awukwazi ukuva amazwi, kwaye unokucinga ngamagama uze uphinde ubhale kwakhona kangangoko uthanda. Unakho ngokubanzi, ngaphandle kokuchaza nantoni na, uphelelwe kwindawo yokufikelela: "Oo, ndiyaxolisa, ifowuni yefowuni yachithwa (" ICQ "yawa, i-imeyile yahlanganiswa, njl.). Ekuqaleni, xa kusekho ulwalamano, enyanisweni, kuya kusebenza, loo nto iya kusebenza: loo mntu uza kukubiza kanye okanye kabini, kwaye uyayeka - eqinisweni, kuwe ukukhanya akuzange kuhlangane kunye nomda. Kodwa abanye abantu basebenzisa eli qhinga, nangona xa ubuhlobo buhluke ngokupheleleyo, oko kuthetha ukuba sele ufunde ngokwaneleyo ukuqonda. Okokuthi, kubonakala ukuba benza ngokuhambelana nomgaqo oqhelekileyo, ngaphandle kokuzinikela ingxaki yokucinga, kwaye nantoni na ngokufanelekileyo ubudlelwane bethu bafuna nokuba yintoni na umntu ofunayo ufuna kuwe.
Ukuba ngaba ngokwenene awufuni ukulahlekelwa nabo (kunye nolwalamano, kunye nomntu), kufuneka ulungele ukuba kuya kufuneka ufune iingcebiso kwi-psychologist. Iingcali zithi, ngelishwa, kunzima kakhulu ukujamelana ngokuzimela kunye nobudlova obunzima (akunandaba - ngokwakho okanye kunye neqabane lakho). Siza kufuneka sisebenze kanzima, siqonde kwaye siyamkele ingxaki, sifumane iingcambu zaso (ezo zithembeke ngokungaqinisekanga ukuba zingabonakali), kwaye ke ngoko, sele ufumene indlela yokujongana nayo ngoncedo lwenzululwazi. Kodwa ukuba uthando lwakho bobabili lubiza, lithetha ukuba lufanelekile.