Kutheni umntu eyika ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakhe?

Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba amabhinqa avulekile ngakumbi kunamadoda. Mhlawumbi, kutheni enye ebaluleke kakhulu kubo ngumbuzo: kutheni umntu oyika ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakhe. Akusiyo imfihlelo ukuba ngamnye umfazi ufuna ukuva amazwi othando avela kukhethiweyo wakhe rhoqo ngangokunokwenzeka. Kodwa abafana bayathula ngoku. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo?

Ukuqina komoya

Kutheni abantu besaba ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo? Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba amaxesha amaninzi aba khokelwa nguloyiko, kodwa ngezinye iimvakalelo. Akukho mfihlelo yokuba indoda iyimimiselo engaphezu komoya kunomfazi. Kungenxa yoko abayicingi ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuthetha rhoqo ngeemvakalelo. Omnye "Ndiyakuthanda" kumfana uwanele ukubonisa iimvakalelo zabo. Kodwa oku akwaneleyo kwabasetyhini. Ngoko ke, baqala ukufuna ngaphezulu nangaphezulu. Ngaloo ndlela, indoda ayiyiqondi isizathu sokuba intombi yakhe ethandekayo ityhafile, ifuna into ethile, idibanise. Ngenxa yoko, loo nto inokukwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo. Akafuni ukuthetha nantoni na ukubonisa loo ntokazi ukuba uyisiphukuphuku kwaye ingenangqondo ukuziphatha kwakhe. Ukungabikho kwengqiqo kunye "nelifa lezesondo" elikhethekileyo kunokukhokelela ekubeni eso sibini sizahlukana.

Ukoyika isihlwele

Kodwa ke akudingekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abantu abafuni ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo ngenxa yokungabi naso kwengqondo okanye iinqununu. Abanye abantu abaselula banokwesaba. Kwaye lo ukoyiko luchazwa ngento yokuba amaninzi amanxeba enesini esomeleleyo anesimo sengqondo sokuba lo mfana ufanele ahlale enobudlova kwaye eqinile. Ngoko ke, kwenzeka ukuba umntu oyika ukuthetha ngothando kuphela ngenxa yokuba akafuni ukubonakala emehlweni abahlobo-abahlobo kunye nabafazi beentliziyo banobuthakathaka kwaye banengqondo. Kule meko, into embi kakhulu, xa umntu osemfana esaba kakhulu izimvo zabanye. Emva koko, ngoko kuvela ukuba unobuthathaka kwaye unqwenela. Kule meko, le ndoda ixhomekeke kwimbono yesihlwele, kwaye kubantu abancinci kufuneka bangalindelanga into enhle. Emva koko, xa abantu bengenakuzimela ngokuzimeleyo benze izigqibo kwaye baxanduva lwabo, zonke izenzo zabo ziya kuxhomekeka kwizinto zangaphandle. Ngenxa yoko, awukwazi ukumangaliswa xa ephosa intombazana ngenxa yokuba umntu uthathe isigqibo sokuba ayihambisani neemfuno zale bantu.

Amava ambi

Imeko eyahlukileyo ivela xa indoda eselula ingafuni ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo kuphela ngenxa yokuba ibona ubuthathaka emehlweni enkosikazi. Izizathu zezi mpawu zihluke kakhulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzeka ngenxa yamava angaphumelelanga kunye namantombazana ngaphambili. Ngokomzekelo, umfana osele esele wamkelwa umntu othandwayo, kwaye loo ntokazi wayisebenzisa ngokuvakalelwa yakhe kwaye yaphula intliziyo yakhe. Okanye emva kokuvuma kwalowo mfana wambiza ngokuba ngumntu obuthathaka kunye ne-lout. Kule meko, le ntombazana ifuna ukubonisa ukuba iimvakalelo zalo mfana zibaluleke kakhulu. Ewe, umntu akafanele akathembe ukuba ngokukhawuleza uqala ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakhe neemvakalelo zakhe, kodwa ngokukhawuleza unokukwazi ukufezekisa ukuba umntu uyalibala malunga nokuhluleka kwakhe okudlulileyo kunye nokuvulelwa iimvakalelo.

Esinye isizathu sokuba umfana angathethi ngothando lwakhe ukukhuliswa. Kwezinye iintsapho, akwamkelekanga ukuveza iimvakalelo ezivulekileyo. Ukuba uyise nomama akazange baveze iimvakalelo malunga nomntwana okanye omnye komnye, ekhulayo, umntu uqala ukuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Kule meko, umfana ufuna ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo, uchaze ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani, ukugxininisa kwizinto eziza kubamba intombazana. Futhi ungaze ufihlile iimvakalelo zakho ezintle. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, loo mfana uya kuqala ukunyuka kwaye athathe umzekelo wakho wokuziphatha, ngokukhawuleza ukuyeka.

Enyanisweni, abaninzi abantu baye bafumana iziganeko ezibenza bazifihla amava, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Abantu abancinane banokukwazi ukuzikhusela. Ngoko ukuba uyayazi ukuba umfana uyakuthanda, kodwa akafuni ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo ngokuchanekileyo kwezi zizathu, mane ube nomonde kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uyamkholisa loo mfana, ngamazwi nangokwenza okubonisa ukuba uyamthanda.