Umntwana ukhula imihla ngemihla kwaye yonke imihla ufuna ukuba aqalise indlela yokuchaphazela ihlabathi.
Lapha ubeka ibhakethi lesanti ngaphesheya kwebhodi, kwaye likhulu. Wawuphosa ilitye kwibhotile, yawa phantsi. Konke oku kuchaphazela ukusingqongileyo. Umntwana ufuna ukubona ukuba unako ukuchaphazela ihlabathi, ngoko wenza konke. Kodwa oku akusiyo yonke into ephilileyo, kwaye ngokukhawuleza ibuhlungu, kwaye ke ufuna ukuqala ukuphembelela kungekhona nje ngamatye egcekeni, kodwa uqale ukuchaphazela eziphilayo, eziphilayo. Hayi, akukho mandla okoma. Njengomthetho, konke oku kuqhutyelwa kwinqanaba elincinci kwaye aluhambisani neengcamango zokulawula jikelele. Kodwa, kunjalo kunjalo.
Ngaloo ndlela, oku kubangela umntwana ukuba aqalise ukuphazamisa imimandla engqongileyo. Oko kukuthi, umntwana ulwa nokubetha izilwanyana.
Kutheni umntwana elwa? Ukuba ngokwemvelo unesibindi kwaye akafihla ngasemva komama wakhe, ngoko, njengomthetho, abantu abanjalo baqala ukulwa. Bafuna ukuqala ukuziva uhlobo oluthile lempembelelo, kwaye kuxhomekeka kwimeko, kukho iintlobo ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zempembelelo. Abanye bazama ukwenza okulungileyo, isabelo, uncedo. Abanye baqala ukulwa. Ekuqaleni bacela into ethile kwi-tone ehlelekile, kwaye xa bengayithobeli, baqala ukumbetha. Ukuba umntwana unamandla kunokuba axabele (kwaye, ngokomthetho, isandla asivuki kwinqanaba elinamandla, kuba isimo sokuzinyameka sinomphumo onamandla engqondweni), ukuze aphelise unxanxuwa lwakhe kwihlabathi. Kwaye ukuba ababuthathaka abayifuni, ke baqala ukutshintshela abo bancedi ngokupheleleyo. Oko kukuthi, kwizilwanyana. Baqala ukubetha izilwanyana, ukugubha imisila yabo, ukuguqula imilenze yabo, ngamanye amaxesha baze bathuthele ngokwabo. Konke oku kukubonakalisa ukuba unempembelelo kweli hlabathi, nokuba lihlobo lwenja. Ngaloo ndlela, sinokugqiba ukuba kukho izinto ezimbini ezigqithiseleyo, kwaye ekugqibeleni umntwana uya kuhamba, unako ukuqonda indlela akhuliswe ngayo. Ukuba umoya wezinto ezilungileyo kunye nokuqonda ukulawula phakathi kwendlu, ngoko, ngokomthetho, umntwana uya kuba noxolo kwaye alinganisekanga, kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba sicinga ukuba umntwana mncinci kwaye akaqondi nto, ngokufanayo, nangona akaqondi nto, uyayifumana indlela ukuziphatha njengentonga.
Esinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni abantwana baqale ukulwa nokubetha ukungakwazi kwabo kwizenzo zabo. Ekuqaleni bayabetha wonke umntu ngenxa yokuzama, ngoko, khangela ukuphendula. Ukuba wonke umntu uphenduka ngendlela efanayo, oko kukuthi, umzekelo, ukunganeliseki, ngoko amaxesha amaninzi okwenziwe ngumntwana ukuba akufanelekile ukwenza njalo. Ukuba iimpendulo zihlala zihluke, ngoko uvavanyo luya kuphinda liphindwe rhoqo, kwaye izigqibo azenziwanga.
Kukwafanelekile ukukhankanya ukuba ngamanye amaxesha umntwana ulwa, engekho ehlaselayo, kodwa ngokuchasene nokuzimela. Imfazwe eyahlukileyo, ukuba ikhusela, ikhusela abanye njalo njalo. Ngoko yonke into ilungile, kwaye unokukwazi ukuzimela, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyayisombulula le ngxaki kaninzi, kuyafaneleka ukucinga nokucacisa kumntwana ukuba ukulwa kunzima kakhulu kwaye kufuneka kugwenywe. Ngaloo ndlela, sinokufikelela ezi zigqibo.
Isizathu sokuqala sokuba umntwana unobundlobongela kukuba kukho uhlobo oluthile lobundlobongela ekhaya lomntwana. Okwesibini, ngokuqinisekileyo, uhlobo lomntwana, kuba lubonakalisa okokuqala kwiminyaka yokuqala. Kwaye okwesithathu, engayiqondi ngokucacileyo intsingiselo yokuhlaselwa nokuhlaselwa njengolu hlobo, ekugqibeleni ekukhokelela ekuziphatheni okungenasisindo.
Ngoku ukuba uyayiqonda intsingiselo, unokuhlahla kwi shishini. Enyanisweni, indlela yokujongana nayo, ukuba sele iqalile.
Njengoko sele sithethile, konke kuxhomekeke kubazali, ngoko kufuneka uqwalasele yonke into ngokubanzi: zonke iindlela, imeko kunye nokuziphatha kwabazali xa kwenzeka ukuba ingxaki ikhoyo.
Imfazwe eyahlukileyo kwaye ngoko ke into yokuqala ofuna ukuyifumana, yintoni uhlobo lokulwa. Ukuba umntwana wakho ube ngumhlaseli, ngoko ngoku kunene ithuba lokubandakanyeka ekukhuliseni kwakhe kule nkalo, ukuba ikhuselwe ngamaphiko, nesizathu sokuthi, kodwa kulo mcimbi konke akubi kakhulu.
Into yokuqala yokwenza ukuthetha ngamangqina omlo. Kwaye kufuneka wenze oku ngaphandle kobuso bomntwana, ngoko uya kukuxelela kamva ukuba yonke into yayinjani ngokwemiqulu yakhe, kwaye le nguqulo ingahluke kwindlela abadala abayibona ngayo imeko. Ukuba uyakwazi ukucacisa ngokucacileyo ukuba kutheni ukulwa kwaqala, ngoko mhlawumbi ulungile. Ukuba iyancipha kwaye ithule, ithetha ukuba iyaqonda ukuba ayilungile, okanye ingabaniki ukulwa, ixabiso.
Kwimeko apho iimfazwe zingabonakali, ngoko abazali abafanele bakhathazeke, kodwa ukuba lo mkhwa, imilinganiselo enzulu iyimfuneko. Ukuba umntwana wakho ubona wonke umntu njengeentshaba, kufuneka siqale ukukhangela iimpawu ezilungileyo kwiontanga zethu. Ukongezelela, kubalulekile ukuthumela umntwana kwicandelo lezemidlalo, apho uya kuvumela ukuhamba komsindo, umzekelo, kwisikhwama sokutshiza.
Ukuba ukulwa kudlulile phambi kwamehlo akho, ngoko iimpendulo zakho kufuneka zibe nengqiqo ngendlela enokwenzeka ngayo. Kufanelekile ukukhusela umntwana wakho emva kokuvavanywa, ngubani ochanekileyo, kwaye ngubani na omele. Kuba ukuba uqala ukukhusela, ngoko umntwana unokucinga ukuba uyingcali kwaye unokukwenza nantoni na ayifunayo. Kodwa akumele utyumle ngokukhawuleza, ngenxa yoko unokuvalelwa kubazali bakhe kwaye uya kulwa, elinde nje ixesha elihle-xa abazali bengekho.
Ngoko ke, into ebaluleke kakhulu kubazali akuyi kudibana kwimeko ize ikhule ibe yinto engakumbi kwaye ingasongela impilo yabantwana.
Izinto ezinobungozi ezifana neenduku kunye namatye kufuneka zisuswe kumntwana. Kwaye kungcono ukuxoxa ngezenzo zendlu. Kwaye kungcono ukummema ukuba axolise kumntu ongazange akhuphe. Ukuba wayengenakulungile, kodwa akazimisele ukuxolisa, ngoko umthendeleko uphela apha.
Umbuzo wokuba umntwana ulwa nokubetha izilwanyana zilula kwaye ziqondakala, kodwa kufuneka ziphathwe ngazo zonke iinkathalo.