Ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana wesibini cishe phantse yonke intsapho iba yintlanzi. Mhlawumbi, oku kubangelwa ukuba ukukhulelwa kwesibili, kunye nokubeletha, kubangele ukukhathazeka okungaphantsi kwabazali bobabini. Bazolile, balinganise kwaye bathande umntwana osanda kuzalwa. Ngokubonakala komntwana wesibini kwintsapho, abazali baqaphele ngakumbi, ingakumbi kubuninzi obuye bafumana, baphelelwa.
Kodwa xa umntwana wesibini evela kwintsapho, umona kunye nokuphikisana phakathi kwabantwana kungavela. Emva koko, umntwana wokuqala wayekhuliswe njengowokuphela kwaye wafumana yonke ingqalelo kunye nothando lwabazali. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza imeko yatshintsha ngandlela-thile, uthando lwabazali luhlulwe phakathi kwakhe nodade wakhe okanye umzalwana. Ngelo xesha, intsapho idala iimeko ezintsha zokukhuliswa kwabantwana, kuba sele sele zimbini.
Ngaphambi kokuba kuzalwe umzalwana okanye udade, umntwana wokuqala wayezibona ephakathi kwentsapho, njengoko zonke iziganeko zazijikeleza. Wafumana ingqalelo yomzali kunye nokunyamekela. Ngeli thuba, umntwana uhlakulela indawo elandelayo: "Ndiyonwabile kuphela xa bendikhathalele ngam kwaye xa bendiphulaphula." Oku kuchaza ukuba kutheni umntwana exhomekeke kubazali bakhe - ufuna i-caress kunye nothando, ukunyamekela nokunyamekela.
Kuyaziwa ukuba yizibulo lokuqala ezibonakaliswa ngentshukumo yokuziphatha kunye nemikhwa yokuziphatha. Ngenxa yoko, xa umntwana wesibini evela kwintsapho kunye ne "mithetho yomdlalo" utshintsho, abantwana abadala bafumana imeko engachazwa njengelahleko yokuthula kunye nezikhundla ezixhamlayo.
Idatha kubantwana abadala kunye nabancinci ukusuka kwiinkcazo zeengcali
Umntwana omdala kunye nomntwana omncinci unikezelwa ngezidingo ezahlukeneyo. Ukususela kumazibulo, abazali balindele ngaphezu kokuvela kumntwana wesibini. Phantse zonke iintsapho, abantwana abadala bayabonwa njengeenkokeli kunye nemimiselo yabantwana abancinci. Kuye kwafunyanwa ukuba izibulo lokuqala kubomi bexesha elide ziba ziinkokheli ekuhlanganyeleni, zihlala zikhundla eziphambili, zinako ukusebenzisana, zinobuqilima kwaye zinoxanduva kwinkonzo, ziyakwazi ukuphendula ngokukhawuleza kwiimeko ezinzima, kwaye zinike uncedo. Enyanisweni, umntwana wokuqala "udala" ngobudala, oko kukuthi ngexesha lokubonakala komntwana wesibini kwintsapho. Amazibulo kufuneka alungelelanise ilungu elitsha kwintsapho kunye neemeko ezintsha. Ngenxa yoko, abantwana abadala bahlala benemimiselo yomeleleko yemigangatho kunye namakhono okulungisa. Yilaba bantwana abakwazi "ukuqokelela intando yabo kwisibindi" baze benze isenzo okanye bathathe isigqibo esinzulu kubo.
Ngokuphathelele abantwana abancinci, abazali babo benza izinto ezingaphantsi kwabo. Mhlawumbi, ke, abantu abatsha abanako ukufumana impumelelo ebomini. Ngokuqhelekileyo, aba bantwana abazenzi nantoni na iimfuno eziphezulu ebomini babo, kaninzi ababanako ukukhetha isigqibo sabo, ukwenza isigqibo esinzulu. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantwana abancinci abahlukumezi, banokulinganisela. Abazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukulahlekelwa izikhundla zabo kwaye bafumane isiqingatha sothando lwabo kubazali babo. Abantwana abancinci abanalo utshintsho kwiimeko kwiintsapho, kuba basentsapho apho kukho abazalwana abadala okanye udade, kwaye bancinci. Kuboniswa ukuba phakathi kwabantwana abancinci kukho ubungqina "beentlanga". Basebenzisa kalula izinto ezintsha, baphathe kakuhle abazali babo, bazame ukufumana abadala babo, nangona oku akunakwenzeka.
Kwintsapho apho kukho abantwana ababini, ukhuphiswano alukwazi ukuphetshwa, kuya kubakho iimeko kunye nobudlelwane.
Qaphela abazali
Ukuzalwa komntwana wokuqala kuhamba kunye neemeko zenkxalabo, njengoko abazali bengenalwazi oluninzi, obangela ukuba bakhathazeke ngakumbi.
Ukukhulelwa okwesibini kunye nokubeletha kudlula ngokuzinzile nangokuzithemba, ngoko umntwana omncinci ukhula emoyeni ozolileyo esesiswini.
Umntwana okhulile uyazi kakuhle ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba ngumntu ongatshatanga. Kwaye ukubonakala komntwana wesibini kubhekisela kuye utshintsho kwiimeko zobudlelwane kwintsapho, eyanceda ukuba azivumelanise nabo.
Umntwana wesibini ekuzalweni ukhula kwindawo engatshintshiyo (abazali, umntakwabo nodade babesoloko behlala njalo), ngoko bahlaziye kwaye bahlasele.
Bathi banqwenela ekuqaliseni amaqhinga kunye neengcungcutheko zokuba bafikelele kumntwana omdala okanye bangayi kulahlekelwa yimo "yentsha", sele bekhulile.