Kukho iintlobo ezininzi zokuziphatha komfazi ezikhokelela kwimeko yokudandatheka komyeni.
Ukugqoka umfazi onjengobobola amathambo omyeni, uqonde ukuba umfazi uyakunqumla, indoda ayiyi kuphucula, kodwa ngokuchaseneyo iya kubuna ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye ekugqibeleni yile hlobo lokusela (ezi zizinto ezinzima malunga nokubonakala ), kunye nalabo abathandi ubunzima kunye nabasetyhini, baya ekukhohliseni, apho, njengoko bacinga, bathandwa njengaleyo. Kodwa ngelixa abantu bekhohliswa, kuba ngamanye amaxesha imbangela yempikiswano yakhe yomfazi yinto ephosakeleyo yezenzo ezingalunganga zomyeni kumfazi wakhe. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba umfazi, ebona ukuba kukho into engalunganga kumyeni wakhe, uvale kwaye akayi kumxelela oko, kodwa ucinga ukuba unetyala kwaye uhlala nalo, iminyaka emininzi. Umsindo oye waqokelela, uthululwa kuye, ube ngxabano, kwaye indoda ayikwazi nokuba yintoni iphoso lakhe.
Kule meko, unokusombulula le ngxaki ekuqaleni, nje kwingxoxo eyimfihlo uze uzame ukuqonda. Kodwa kule ngxoxo, ukuqonda komyeni kudlala indima ebalulekileyo, akuyiyo into yokuba indoda iphathwe inxaxheba yindoda kwintsapho kwaye nguye owenza isipho kumfazi, ngoko unxibelelwano oluqinileyo, kwaye umfazi uyongezelela kuphela. Umfazi kufanele avumele kuphela umyeni wakhe ukuba abumbe umncedisi kuye kuye.
Umfazi uyavuya xa ethanda, kwaye xa eziva efunekayo kwaye eluncedo. Yiloo nto idla ngokukhokelela umntu ukuba ahlasele, oku kuzingca, isimo sengqondo sabathengi. Xa indoda ifuna ukuba umfazi azalise yonke into yakhe, ngelixa engayiboni into ayifunayo. Umfazi othanda umyeni wakhe uzama ukumthobela, kodwa ngaphandle kokufumana impendulo kuyo kunye neemfuno kunye neemfuno zakhe, unqabile ukuba nguye omnandi kumyeni wakhe.
Kwaye umyeni akafumananga ukufumana ukwanelisa iimfuno zakhe (vumelani oku ngokucacileyo isimo sengqondo sabathengi, kuba umtshato ngumsebenzi kunye nomsebenzi womabini) uqala nje ukukhangela abalahlekileyo kwicala, kwaye oku kubangela ukungcatshiswa kumfazi wakhe, ngubani ngokwenene enyameni kwenyama yakhe. Kodwa kule ngcatshwa kunye nala mabhinqa, akayi kufumana ukuphumla ade atshintshe isimo sakhe sengqondo kulabo abakujikelezile kwaye ufunda ukunika, kungekhona nje ukuthatha. Kukhona enye into ebalulekileyo kwiintlalontle zentsapho eyona bheddi yothando.
Amadoda amaninzi akhalaza ngamakhosikazi abo ukuba awazi ukuba enze nantoni na ukuba ayinomdla kubo. Kwaye kuboniswa kwesi sizathu kuhlambalazo, ngelixa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile ukuba ngaphandle kokuvalelwa kancinci. Hmm, kukufanele ukucinga ngamadoda abathandekayo, madoda, akuyena na wena omele ube ngumfundisi kuyo yonke into kumfazi wakho? Zibuze lo mbuzo uze ubonise. Kuthekani ukuba umfazi kufanele afunde kummelwane wakhe zonke izakhono zothando, ngoko ukukholisa umyeni wakhe?
Ngoko ke, ndifuna ukukuxhasa umfazi othandekayo, ungaphelelwa yithemba kwaye ukhumbule into ephambili yokuba ungoni uze ukhombe indlela yokuphila. Kwaye kwimeko ethile eminzini yomphefumlo, nokuba yintliziyo enzima kakhulu nenkohlakalo yindoda iya kukuxabisa kwaye akukho mfazi omnye onobubele obulula akakwazi ukuthelekiswa nendoda, nomfazi onobubele. Amadoda ngandlela-thile bacinga (oko, ngendlela, into engafanelekanga) ukuba bayatshintshwa, bacinga ukuba, abakwazi ukucinga indlela ababuhlungu ngayo, kumfazi wabo.
Ingaba umfazi onjengale ndoda (eqeqeshelwa njenge-rag) evela kuye, njengomfazi onqabileyo, othungca udaka, kuba ubuhenyu ulingcolileyo kwaye unyanyeka, nokuba uhenyuzo lomfazi wakhe, nokuba ngaba uhenyuzo lomyeni wakhe. Kwaye nantsi into endifuna ukukuxelela amadoda abathandekayo: Thanda abafazi bakho, fundise abafazi bakho, kwaye lo mthandazo onyanisekileyo kunye nokuqonda oya kuwufundisa ngawo, uza kuvelisa isiqhamo esikhulu nesinomdla wobomi bentsapho. Kwaye umfazi othandekayo, ndifuna ukuthetha kuwe: Mamela amadoda akho ngobumnene bobuqili, kwaye uya kuba yintloko yakho kunye nentloko yentsapho kwaye oku kuya kumnceda. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiyathemba ukuba emva kokufunda eli nqaku uza kuqonda kakuhle, ngokwakho.