Okokuqala, makhe sibone uhlobo luni lolo "lugqithiso", kwaye sisiphi isisetyenziswe ukuba siqonde ngeli lizwi. Ukususela kwimbono yengqondo, ukunyanzela ngenye yeengxaki ezixhaphakileyo zezibini ezitshatileyo, ngakumbi abo bahlala ndawonye ixesha elide, kwaye bavelisa into yokuhlala ngaphandle. Ngokwinkoliso yabantu - oku kuhlambulukileyo kwamanzi, okungaxolelwanga, kwaye ngenxa yoko kufuneka ukhubekise, ufunge kwaye uqhawule umtshato. Kodwa, akukho mntu uvakalelwa kwiimvakalelo eziqwalasela into yokuba ukuhlukumeza kwenzeka nokuba kuhluke, kwaye sonke siyizinto eziphilileyo, kwaye kungekhona nje into, engaxhomekanga kwimpembelelo yengqondo nengqondo. Ingcali yeengqondo, ukuvavanya umonakalo obangelwa uhlaselo, iya kuthatha ingqalelo kuqala kokusondelelana kwamaqabane okanye abatshatileyo, ngoko ke uhlobo lokukhwabanisa, kwaye emva koko ufumene isizathu. Emva koko, ngokwemvelo, ukutshatyalaliswa kuphela kunokukhangela ngesondo, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, kuthwala ngokwaso kuphela ngokomzimba, kodwa ukuxhatshazwa kwemizwa. Ngako oko, ubukho bemvelaphi yemoya buya kubangela ukuba umthengi axhomekeke kuye, kwizinto zakhe ezintsha, ezifanisa imeko.
Izizathu zokutshintsha.
Iingcali zengqondo zichonga izizathu eziyisixhenxe ezibangela ukuba amadoda ahambe "ngakwesobunxele." Okuqhelekileyo uxhumano olungxamisekileyo olubangelwa naliphi na, iimvakalelo ezikhethekileyo, okanye iimvakalelo, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo aziphatheli ngokuqhelekileyo. Kwiintlobo ezithandathu eziseleyo, isiseko kunye nesishukumiso sokwenziwa kwamanyathelo yimiphumo yobomi bentsapho, umnqweno wokuphindaphinda iimvakalelo ezidlulileyo kunye neemvakalelo zameva, uthando olungathandekiyo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuvukela nje kuba yempindezelo, ngenxa yento efanayo, emva kokuba loo ndoda ayiboni kwaye ivakalelwa ngento ethile yokufezekisa, kunokuba iqikelele izenzo zakhe.
Ngoko ke, umntu unokufumana isigqibo esincinci sokuthi naluphi na ulwaphulo-mthetho, njengoluhlobo lolwaphulo-mthetho, lunesiqhelo salo sobunzima, ngoko ke kufuneka sibe nesigwebo sawo. Kwaye njengabo bonke "ulwaphulo-mthetho", umrhwebi unelungelo lokuqonda kwaye akavumelani netyala lakhe, de kube yilapho, kufikelelwe.
Ngaba kunjalo okanye akunjalo?
Ukuthetha ngokugwenxa, okokuba kutheni indoda ingavumi izono zayo, kubalulekile kuqala ukuba icacise, kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Mhlawumbi umyeni wakho akayi kuvuma, kuba akukho nto yokuvuma. Ewe, ukuba uwambamba kwimeko yolwaphulo-mthetho, ngoko ke, ngokubanzi, kunye nento ethi ungayichaza okanye iyichaze, yile mzuzu, akukho mqondo. Ewe, ukuba uhlaselo lusekuphela kokuqaphela kwakho. Abaninzi banomdla kwinqanaba lokutshintsha okuqhelekileyo. Into efana nokudlala ngothando kufana nobomi bomntu wonke, kwaye siyisebenzisa kakhulu okanye ngaphantsi, ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko kunye nomntu ngokwakhe. Kukho amaxesha xa ukunyonyana kudlulela kwimida ethile, kodwa kungenakufikeleleka kobugwenxa, kuvela "umdlalo onqenqemeni", apho umntu ufumana iimvakalelo ezithile ezintle. Ngoko mhlawumbi umyeni wakho ungumngcakazo, kwaye ngaba kufanelekile ukufaka umdlalo omncinci kwintsapho yakho?
Kutheni engavumi ukuphikisa?
Ukuba kunjalo ukunyaniseka kuyinyaniso ecacileyo, kodwa inkohlakalo, njengangaphambili, yenza ngathi akukho nto, yintoni enokuyenza kwiimeko ezinje kunye nendlela yokuchazela ukuziphatha okunjalo? Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukungcatsha kugxininiswa kungekuphela komntu otshintshileyo, kodwa nakumntu otshintshileyo. Ekuqaleni, umrhwebi uloyika rhoqo "kwaye ngokukhawuleza ufunda," kwaye umxhelo olandelayo oxinezelekileyo uhamba phezu kwakhe xa umfazi efumanisa. Kwaye, njengokuba uyazi, ukwesaba kunye nesimo sokuzigcina kulondoloze ngakumbi kunokuba izithembiso zisoloko zithetha inyaniso kuphela. Oku kukungabikho kwimibuzo yeso sizathu sokuba indoda ingavumi ukuvuma ukuphikiswa? Ingxabano yesibini ngokuphathelele ukungabi nentsingiselo yimpendulo yombuzo, omele uzibuze yona: "Kodwa ngokwenene ungathanda ukwazi ngokunyaniseka?". Uninzi, ngokuqinisekileyo, uphendule ngokukhawuleza "ewe", ukuphikisana nokunyaniseka komtshato, ukungafi kweemfihlelo phakathi kwabatshati kunye nezinye izinto. Kodwa, kwaye ukuba ucinga ngokuqinisekileyo, emva koko, ukungcatsha kungaba ngengozi kwaye akukho nto, kwaye kufuneka uhlale nayo. Wayenokuzisola ngexesha elide, kwaye angakhange abhekise nakwezinye iintlato zabesetyhini, kwaye emva kokuba inyaniso inqwenela ngokwenene, ulwaphulo lweentlalontle zentsapho lunokwenzeka. Ngaphezu koko, ngokucacileyo ukucacisa ulwalamano aluhambeli ngaphandle kweenyembezi kunye neentlanzi. Akwanele, yiyiphi ibhinqa eya kuba namandla okuthatha yonke into ngokuzithoba kwaye uthetha nje. Kwaye amadoda amaninzi ayithandi ukuba yinto ekuye yachithwa ngayo loo mva. Yingakho bahlala bethule malunga neentengo zabo, ukulondolozwa kwenkqubo yokutya, bobabini kunye nabafazi babo. Omnye akufanele akhohlwe ngombono woluntu, ugwetywe ngabamelwane kunye nezinye izinto ezivame ukusinika ubomi. Ngokuqhelekileyo into encinci "nto abantu bayakuyithetha" yenye yezona zizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuba kutheni abafazi banquma ukuphula ubudlelwane. Uloyiko lokuwela phantsi kwenkundla yoluntu, ngelixa ulahlekelwa ngumfazi wakhe othandekayo kwaye uvale umlomo wakhe kwinqaba.
Kwenzeka kanjani ngamehlo endoda?
Ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni umyeni wakho engavumi ukuhlambalaza, kufuneka ukhangele kunye nokunyeliswa ngamehlo endoda. Nangona kunjalo kunokuba yinto engathethekiyo, kodwa kaninzi ayikho uthando, ingabi nhlobo uthando, aluyi kuza. Kakade ke, kukho amaxesha apho kuvela kwiimvakalelo eziphakamileyo, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo ukusuka kwinto yonke ibonakala iphantsi kwaye inengqondo. Uqhagamshelwano oluqhelekileyo lomzimba, ukuhlawulela ukungabikho kwengqalelo kwinxalenye yomfazi, ukuphelisa uxinzelelo, ukufumana ukuvakalelwa okutsha, njl., Kodwa kungekhona injongo yokushiya umfazi wakhe kwaye uphile ngokuvuya emva kwendoda yakhe. Eyona nto inomdla kukuba yinto eninzi impendulo "ngokuqinisekileyo yavela" yinyaniso ecocekileyo, kwaye ayithwali isizathu esithile esivela ngasemva kwayo.
Ngoko ke, bafazi abathandekayo, musani ukuvumela ingcamango yokunyanzela intloko kumadoda enu, banike uthando lwakho kunye nemizwelo kwaye uzama ukuqonda. Emva koko awuyi kubuza "kutheni umyeni wam engavumi," kwaye ingxoxo malunga nokunyaniseka, akunakwenzeka, kuya kwenzeka ngexesha lentsapho yakho. Akukho mfuneko yokuphakamisa umxholo wokuhlambalaza kumgangatho oqhelekileyo, kodwa ukuwubeka njengeyona nkalo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, akunjalo. Emva kwakho konke, ebomini bethu, njengengqungquthela yamasiko, kukho konke okulungileyo nokubi, into eninzi, into encinane, kodwa ngaphandle kwalokhu ubomi bethu bekungenguye.