Ndingabuyisela njani intombazana enomntwana?

Zonke iintombi ezinkulu ziyazi ukuba uthando, olukhwele, alukwazi ukuhlala ngonaphakade. Emva kwexesha, liba "into enye." Kodwa ngubani oya kucinga ukuba le "nto" yayiza kuba njalo ... Amanyathelo amathandathu othandweni ayamangalisa kwaye adibanise.

Kutheni yonke into yayingalunganga? Yaye uyayichaza njani imeko ngokubanzi? Ngaba kuthetha ukuba ubudlelwane buhlala kwintlupheko, okanye ngaba yinto encinci nje? Kukho konke oku kwenzekayo, okanye ngaba oku kuthi konke kubi kangaka? Indlela yokubuyisela iimvakalelo zentombazana ngomfana - funda kuphela kwinqaku lethu.

Musa ukwesaba. Oku kwenzeka kumntu wonke. Ewe, phantse nawo wonke umntu. Yaye uyamhlupha - kuyo yonke into encinane. Yena, umzekelo, uphosa izinto, kwaye uhlala uxoxa naye, okanye kwifowuni kunye neentombi ezininzi. Unomthamo we-biceps olinganayo nomthamo wesandla sakho, kwaye awuyi kuhamba ngokukhawuleza. Uhlala ecaphuna u-Nietzsche (engakhange akhankanye nokuba okokuba nguRozanov), kwaye wena, okwangoku, ungazi indlela yokutshiza inyama ... Yiyiphi impawu, malunga nonyaka nesiqingatha esadlulayo, wadibanisa abafilosofi waza waphonsa ibhulukwe yakhe kumkhanda , kwaye utsho nje ngokungenangqiqo kwaye nje ukupheka, kodwa wonk 'ubani wayevuyile kwaye uyavuya. Ukutshitshiswa kungekudala okanye kamva kwenzeka kwiphina. Le yinqanaba eliqhelekileyo, xa umsi wesithandane uchithekile, i-oxytocin yabe igalela ubuchopho kwaye ibuyise amandla okucinga ngokucokisekileyo. I-hormonal factor is superimposed and psychology. Enyanisweni, isigaba sokucaphukisa ebomini ngokubambisana sisiteji sokulindela. Ewe, wayesazi ukuba wacaphuna, wasasazeka, kwaye mhlawumbi uthabathe indlebe yakhe. Kodwa wayemfuna ngaso sonke ixesha. Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo wayekholelwa ukuba iimpazamo ezincinane zingalungiswa ngexesha elide. Waye nethemba elifanayo kwizakhono zakho zokucoca kunye nezobugcisa ... Ngoku ngoku ixesha lidlulileyo, kwaye awuzange ulungiswe. Hayi apha ukungahambi Ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko yomntu, ukukhuliswa kunye namava adlulileyo, uya kubonisa ukucaphuka kwakho ngokucacileyo okanye ngaphantsi.

Sinokukunceda njani?

Zama ukutshintsha okanye ukunciphisa into endiyithandayo ethandekayo. Ekugqibeleni, kutheni ungathethi ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye ufunde ukupheka ubuncinane enye yeempahla zakhe ezithandayo? Qondani, ekugqibeleni, yintoni na into ekucaphukisa kakhulu-ingaba yena ngokwakhe okanye izinto ezihlakazwe ngaye? Izinto zihlambuluke kakhulu. Ngaba ulungele ukumthabatha ebomini bakho? Ngokunganeliseki ngemikhwa ethile - ukuthetha ngefilosofi yaseJamani kwiqela le pop, ukutshaya kwigumbi kwaye ugweme iiklabhu zempilo - unokutsho ngokuthe ngqo ukuba: "Ndiyakuthanda, kodwa undiqonde ngokuchanekileyo, yinto endikhathazayo." Ekugqibeleni, uyakuthanda, oku kuthetha ukuba uya kuzama ukulinganisa indlela efanelekileyo (ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo ufunda ukupheka nokuyeka ukwenza i-chemistry kwisigodi sezinwele zesithili). Nangona kunokwenzeka ukuba uhlaselwa omnye nomnye ngeempawu ezingenakukhunjulwa: ubukhulu bomlomo okanye ukuma kwamehlo. Okanye iphunga. Okanye umthi wezwi. Ukukhula, umbala nokuqina kweenwele, ukubunjwa jikelele kunye nenani le-moles. Kwaye kwenyuka, ubuvila kunye nokungakhethiyo ekunxibelelaneni (ukuxhamla, ukugubha, ukuxhalaba nokuntuleka kokhuseleko) ... Ngamanye amazwi, iimpawu zeempawu zakhe azihambelani neengcamango zakho malunga nomntu ofanelekileyo-xa umdlalo owonwabileyo waqala ukuhla, kwacaca. Kakade, i-intle ayifumaneki. Kodwa ngokusemgangathweni, usenayo ixesha lokufumana into engaphantsi kwimiqathango.

Akukho nto iyandikhathaza

Ukufezekisa oku kuphantse kufana nolonwabo. Yena, njengangaphambili, ebuyela ekhaya evela emsebenzini, uphonsa ibhatyi yakhe kwaye adibanise ngqo ebhedini. Kwaye awunqweneli. Uxhoma iingubo zakhe kwikheritesi kwaye uzive ngelo xesha. Kodwa wafunda ngokugqibeleleyo ukuzakhela inyama (kunye neentlanzi) - kungekhona zonke iintombazana ezaziyo ukupheka. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, uyazi kakuhle ukuba ezi zinto ezincinci azifanelekanga ukuxabana kwakho. Yintoni - ukuxolela uthando okanye ukugqiba i-pofigizm? Zona zikhetho zinokwenzeka ngokufanayo. Kwaye, ngokubanzi, ingqondo ye-psychotherapy ayimfuneko kakhulu ukuhlula omnye komnye: xa uyamthanda umntu kunye nazo zonke iziphoso zakhe (ongaziqwalasela ukusilela), uziva. Yaye xa ungaziva, awukhathaleli. Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lwaluphelile ngokupheleleyo, luphawu olusabekayo. Ewe, ubomi nge-inertia yindlela enokubambisana ngayo. Akukho mntu uvimbela nabani na. Kwintsimi enye abantu babini, ngamnye nomntu wakhe, kunye nehlabathi lakhe. Kodwa intsapho ayifanele ukukhankanya. Wena, ngabahlobo abamhle. I-Paradox: ukuba uyamthanda, thintela ukuxolelwa. Ewe, uThixo unabo, kunye ne-slippers ezifakwe ecaleni kwendlela. Ngokunqongophala ngokupheleleyo kweendlebe zomculo kunye nemfundo yabantu. Kwaye kunye nokulibaziseka ngonaphakade. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyakhuthaza okanye uxolele imikhwa nezenzo ezibuhlungu ngokucacileyo iqabane lakho, ngoko, ngokuqinisekileyo, iimvakalelo zibuthathaka. Akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuvuma, umzekelo, umnqweno womntu othandekayo ukuxinezela uxinzelelo kunye neziyobisi ezinxilisayo. Njengentombazana enothando, unokuthinteka ngokujikeleza okuthe xaxa kunye nobuthakathaka afunyanwa xa ehlala nawe. Kodwa njengowesifazane othembekileyo kufuneka uvume ngaphandle kokunconywa okungadingekile ukuba amanye amakhilogremu angaphezulu kumntu akalungile. Ngaba wayeka umsebenzi wakhe ngolunye usuku emva kokuxabana nomphathi? Kwaye ngokubanzi ufunga kwaye uhlala engenalo msebenzi? Ukuba unesabelo-mali esifanayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba uyakukhathalela. Kukho izinto ezikukhathazayo kuphela, kodwa kukho ezo zichaphazela intsapho. Ngoku, ukuba bangakuphazamisi, ngoko, ngokungaqondi, awusekho kule ntsapho. Oku akusiyo inhlekelele, kodwa ukuvuma kuwe akusizi nto.

Babedla ukuthetha nokuthetha, kodwa ngoku akukho nto engayithethayo komnye nomnye. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba siye sabasemzini? Okanye kuthetha ukuba sele sele sisondele kangaka ukuba amagama ayadingeki? Kwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano, zonke iintetho azikho ekumodareyithweni: emva koko, indlela yokuthetha yokudluliselwa kolwazi yintloko yoluhlobo lwe-homo sapiens. Sifuna ukuxelela omnye ngamanye amaphupha kunye nezinto ezinqwenelayo, ukwabelana ngememori yobuntwana, ukufumana abaqhelana nabo abaqhelekileyo ... Ngokuhamba kwexesha, inkqubo yonxibelelwano lwemihla ngemihla inokunciphisa ubuncinane. Imfuno ebalulekileyo yolwazi inelisekile. Usuvele ulazi kakuhle ngokwaneleyo ukuqiqa izinto ezininzi kwaye udla ngokuqonda ngaphandle kwamagama. Ukuvuma okuvuthayo kuye kwenzeka, ulwalamano olupheleleyo luye lwacaciswa. Emva koko ukuthetha ngomlomo kunokwenza umonakalo. Le yinkqubo eqhelekileyo yokuphuhliswa kobudlelwane basekhaya. Kuninzi kuxhomekeke kwimeko yomntu, ngendlela ebonakala ngayo kwihlabathi. Kukho abo banokuchitha iiyure bexoxa ngesimo sezulu okanye iinkcukacha zoluhambo oluzayo, ukuze bafezekise imfuno yabo yokunxibelelana. Ezi zivakalisi ezicacileyo. Kwaye kukho abo banqwenela ukubamba ngobumnene, behleli embhedeni (kinestetiki). Futhi mhlawumbi unemizekelo eyahlukileyo yokucinga: uthetha ngokungapheliyo, kwaye ukhangelele ngokukhawuleza, njengoWinnie the Pooh ebhodweni lobusi, uyabonakala, uyabonwa, kodwa unothando. Enyanisweni, emva kweminyaka engama-2-3 yobomi obudibeneyo, phantse zonke iimbini zinciphisa uluhlu lwezonxibelelwano zomlomo, ngaphandle kokuba zenze ibhizinisi elidibeneyo okanye zibhale idilesi ndawonye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthula kusenokubangelwa kukungabandakanyeki (ngokubambisana okanye omnye komnye): ukhathele ukubeka izimvo rhoqo, kwaye akaboni ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuxoxa ngento ephezulu nawe.

Sinokukunceda njani?

Ukuba isizathu sokuthula phakathi kwakho kunye nomlingane wakho kukungabikho kwezihloko eziqhelekileyo (oku kuya kwenzeka njalo), ngoko-ke i-aerobatics kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo yindlela yokuphumelela ukuqonda iminqweno yomnye nomnye. Ukuba uyakuthanda ibhola, amahashe kunye nokuloba, kwaye uyinkundla yemidlalo yokudlala, kufuneka ulungise umxube. Qala ngokubambisana kwibala lezemidlalo, ngoko-ukuya kwindawo yokudlala. Emva koko uza kuba nezihloko zokunxibelelana ngokugcwele. Unokudala umdla oqhelekileyo ukususela ekuqaleni. Okanye neengxaki eziqhelekileyo. Ukuba unomntwana okanye uceba ukwakha i-dacha-eya ​​kuba yaneleyo kwingxoxo ixesha elide. Ukuba iqabane lakho, ngokusemgangathweni, alinakucacisa ngokukhethekileyo - ungazami ukunyanzelisa indlela yakho yokunxibelelana naye - inzima. Oko kukuthi, ngokwenene, unokubonisa zonke iingcamango zakho neemvakalelo zakho, kuba kukho isidingo, kodwa ungalindeli impendulo ecacileyo, ecacileyo kuyo yonke into. Nika ithuba kumnye ukuba uhlale ucace kuze kube sekupheleni. Mhlawumbi ukhathele emsebenzini, into embi okanye into ephazamisayo. Ukuba impendulo kwisiphakamiso ayiphumeli, akukho ndawo yokunyuka kunye neminye imibuzo. Kungekudala yonke into iya kucaca. Ukuba awukufumani loo ntetho, kunye nesidingo sokunxibelelana ngomlomo kukuthetha ngothando. Akuyimfuneko ukuyenza nge-pathos. Amahlaya, iimpawu, imifanekiso yendawo ... Ungathethi ukuvuma ngokuthe ngqo-amandla, iitalente, ukubaluleka komntu ebomini bakho.

Xa iimvakalelo, ezixhatshazwa yintsholongwane yokuthandana, zizolile, zombini uqala ukubuyela kwimichilo endala, iilardard. Ubuninzi emva konyaka wokuhlala ndawonye, ​​isidingo sokuba sesinye isandla sinamandla okwaneleyo ukuba wonke umntu akhumbule ngesithuba sakhe somntu. Vala abantu maxa wambi baphumule komnye, bachithe ixesha ngokuhlukileyo. Njalo kunye nento yonke yokwenza kunye kuyingozi kwintsebenziswano. Umntu ngamnye ufuna i-personal space, ukuze iliso lingabi yisepha. Kukulungele ukukrakra omnye nomnye. Kufana novavanyo: uyaxhala - oko kuthetha ukuba uyamthanda. Ukuhlukana kunceda ukuba uzive ulwalamano. Kufuneka wenze lula. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umnqweno ovuthayo wokuhlala ngezinye iinkhathi ngaphandle komnye kufana nokungafuni ukuba nomnye nomnye - esi sizathu esibalulekileyo sokuba sicinge kwaye sijonge eso sizathu.

Kufuneka kwenziwe into ukuba iimfuno zakho zokuhlukana azihambisani. Ufuna ukuba yedwa, kodwa akayi kukuvumela ukuba uhambe. Okanye, kunoko, unethemba lokuhlala naye, kwaye uyasinda. Into enhle kakhulu (kunye neyona mininzi) ungayenza kule meko kukuzisa ingxaki kwingxoxo. Okanye: "Ndoda, ndikukhumbula." Okanye: "Mthandi, ndiqonde kakuhle, ndifuna ukuba ngamanye amaxesha nithethe namantombazana ngaphandle kwakho." Ukuba ingxaki ingaboniswanga, ke akuyiyo ingxaki yakho eyintloko. Mhlawumbi uyeka ukuthetha endulo? Okanye ngaba ucasulayo? Okanye ngaba kunjalo nawe? Phinda uphinde uphinde uphinde uchaze isihloko - ngokukhawuleza enye yeziqendu iya kuba yakho.