Uyakhumbula ukuba kwakunjani kumakhulu? Uhamba ngeepulo, iindaba zeenkwenkwezi zobusuku, ukufudumala okukhulu kwe-sweater yamagama amakhulu kunye namagama avela kwingoma enhle "kagogo omdala, indlebe kwi-vertex ..." Yonke into yayikhethekileyo, i-tastier kwaye ibuthakathaka kunokuba yabazali. Kodwa namhlanje abazali babalekela kubakhulukazi babo, njengomtyholi wesiqhumiso, bengathethi ngokuphathelele umntwana wabo. Yintoni yatshintshile?
Isizathu esibalulekileyo kukuba: sitshintshile - oogogo baye batshintsha. Unogogo onganamhlanje akasekho "umfazi ebaleni langaphambili enekati, indwangu yetafile kunye ne-cheesecake", eza kuthi kwiintsuku zokukhumbula abantwana. Ngokwezibalo, oogogo banamhlanje abadlulileyo. Bancinci ngaphezu kwama-50, baneshedyuli enhle kakhulu, ininzi enkulu yeminqweno, kwaye oogogo babo banokubizwa ngokuba baninzi, besengozini yokusebenza kwisikhalazo kubo bonke ubomi babo. Esikhundleni somfazi omdala ongumfundisi, ulungele ukumanga umzukulu wakhe naliphi na ixesha, sibhekene nomfazi omdala ongenazo izicwangciso ezicacileyo ngekamva. Nangona egcina "iindlebe kwisithsaba" njengaphambili. Unina unganqwenela ukuphela kweveki nomzukulwana wakhe ngenxa yokuba akanalo ixesha loku, okanye, umzekelo, ngenxa yokukhathala ngokuqhelekileyo emva komsebenzi wosuku olukhuni.
Isizathu sesibini sihlala kuthi. Enye yeemeko ezibalulekileyo zokuhlala kwintsapho yanamhlanje ngowokuqala ukuhlukana kwabantwana kubazali babo ngokupheleleyo ngokupheleleyo. Sakha ngokuzikhethela iindawo zethu zokuhlala, khangela zonke iintlobo zokukhetha ukwenza iindlela, kwaye, xa sithe sahlukana, sinciphisa uxhulumaniso kwiifowuni ezinqabileyo okanye ngeSonto ezingabonakaliyo. Ukufuna ukuzimela, oomama abancinci abasasafunekanga isiluleko sesizukulwana esidala sokukhulisa umntwana, kuba iinkonzo zabo ezikhethekileyo, unomabonwakude, ukhuphiswano kunye ne-Intanethi. Kule meko, imfuno yokuba ugogo uyaziphelisa ngokwalo: UMama ngokwakhe "uyazi indlela", kwaye xa kwenzeka ukuba kunqongophala kwexesha, unokuziqinisekisa kwaye wamema umfana.
Ngoko yintoni ingxaki? AmaMama azimeleyo, oogogo bawakha ubomi bobuqu, kwaye njengokuba akukho mntu ubandezelekayo. Oku akunjalo. Enyanisweni, abantwana bahluma ngaphandle koogogo, kodwa ukuba bafumanekile, kubudenge kakhulu ukushiya iinkonzo zabo. Inyani kukuba ama-grandmother anempembelelo ebalulekileyo ekuphuculweni komoya komntwana. Nangona abazali bexakeke ngeengxaki ezininzi-ezivela kwizifundo ezingafundanga ukuthenga isaka elitsha ngezicathulo ezitshintshwayo, ugogo ugxininiso "ngezinto ezilula" - nokuba umntwana uyadla, uyavuya okanye akhathazeke, nokuba ingaba nomngxuma wakhe. Ukuxhomekeka komthwalo womthwalo woxanduva lwabazali, oogogo bahlala belula kakhulu ukunxibelelana nesizukulwana esincinane. Ukongezelela, amava abo abachaphazelekayo nawo achaphazela: emva koko, ikhomputer ikhompyutha, kwaye basikhulisa nangona xesha, xa esikhundleni se-wireless sasiqhuba ngokuqhelekileyo. Kwaye kwanokulinganisa, ukunyuka kwexesha eliphantsi kokuphila kuka-ugogo kuya kunceda umntwana wakho. Ngoko ke, ukuba ngabazali bezona zihlandlo ziqwalasela iingxaki ezixinzelelekileyo zomntwana, ugogo akayi kuphinda adibaniswe nkcukacha ezincinci njengekhredithi eboshiweyo.
Umakhulu okanye umfana?
Akukho mpendulo engaphenduliyo kule mbuzo - kakhulu kuxhomekeke kwimeko ethile. Inzuzo ephambili kagogo "inkululeko yeenkonzo zakhe". Ukuba u-nanny oqeqeshiweyo unokudibanisa nabazali bakhe ipenki enhle, ugogo uya kuhlala nomntwana ngokupheleleyo. Ukongeza, ugogo-"wakhe" kwaye, ngokungafani nomqeshwa, ngubani ngokwenene ungumntwana, uyamthanda umzukulwana wakhe ngenxa yokuba ungumzukulu wakhe. Ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo, umama ukhathazeke ngelokuba ugogo uya kuphazamisa okanye kubangele nayiphi na ingozi kumntwana kuncinci kakhulu kunokuba kwimeko kunye nomntwana. Kodwa kuku "okungathandekiyo" kunye "nenkululeko" yokuba imingcipheko enkulu yokunxibelelana nabagogo bahlala befihliwe ...
"NDINTSHILE UKUPHILA KWAKHO"
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba abazali abatsha baxhomekeke ekuxhomekeke kwengqondo kunogogo. Konke kuqala ngegama elithi "Ndiyitshintshe ubomi bam bonke ngenxa yakho", hayi, hayi, kwaye uyaphuka kwincoko, kwaye iphelela ngolunye uhlobo lwetyala elingenakuhlawulwa elivela kumama, owayenqwenela ukucela uncedo "kumakhulu omdala omama-indlebe kwi-vertex". Imiphumo yinto eninzi: ukususela kwisenzo sokulahlwa yecala kubazali kunye neemeko xa ugogo eqala ukungenelela ebomini kwintsapho eselula. Kwaye ngamabango kulo mzekelo awuyi kubonisa, ngenxa yokuba wakho umntwana, ugogo wayemnikela ixesha lokukhulula, nayiphi na iminqweno okanye izicwangciso kwaye wakwenza ngokukhululekileyo. Ngoko ke ngokwenene ucinge ngako, kodwa akulula ukuthabatha.
Indlela yokuba: Kule meko, kukho enye indlela yokuphuma, okuyiyo ukuyibeka le meko ngokugqithisa. Oko kukuthi, ukungasebenzisi kakubi umninakhulu, ukuphulaphula iingcebiso zakhe kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ukuphazamisa ukuphazamiseka kwezinto ezincinci kwimibandela yokukhulisa abantwana, kwaye ngezikhathi ezithile ukubuyisela indawo kaninzi ugogo lomntwana - oku kuyintloko kwiintsebenziswano eziphumelelayo. Ukunxibelelana nomntwana akufanele kube ngumthwalo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uvuyo. Ekugqibeleni, zibeke kwindawo ka-ugogo: akuzange nje ulahleke ummangaliso-kodwa ungazivumeli ukuba uthathe inxaxheba ekukhuliseni kwakhe, rhoqo echaza "ukuba kwakudingeka ntoni." Luhlobo luni lonwabo lokuthetha esinokuthetha ngalo?
"Ndiyothuthuka nge-candy kwaye andixeleli umama"
Enye ingxaki eqhelekileyo yinto yokucinga ngothando.
"Olu luhlobo oluthile lokuxhalaba! ULoma yinkwenkwana, njengenkwenkwana, kodwa uya kumlethela kuphela kumakhulu wakho-njengokungathi uyitshintshe. Uphosa amathoyizi akhe, akafuni, akaphulaphuli umntu! "- u-Olga, unina oneminyaka engu-4 ubudala uCyril.
Kuyavuma, amabali anjalo anokufikelela kumanyathelo onke. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza kuvela ukuba oogogo bawonakalisa umntwana ngokukhethekileyo kubazali. Enyanisweni, oogogo abanalo bubi. Njengoko umzekelo ubonisa, ukunyanzelisa iminqweno yabantwana kulula, kunokuba uchazele umntwana ukuba kutheni akunakwenzeka ukwenza oku okanye ezinye izinto. Ngoko, umzekelo, ukuba umama unqabela umntwana ukuba adle amnandi, ngoko ugogo unako ukunyaniseka ngakumbi kulo mbandela, kuba akadingeki ukuba akhokhe amazinyo kunye namava kunemizuzu engathandeki kwiofisi yamazinyo. Umntwana ngokuqhelekileyo ufika ku-ugogo ngethuba elincinci, kwaye kaninzi akacingeli malunga noko kuya kwenzeka emva koko, emva kokuba umzukulu uya ekhaya. Ukongezelela, le ndlela yokuziphatha ngokuzenzekelayo yenza "udidi oluhle" kumakhulu (ngokungafani nomama oqinileyo, uvumela yonke into), kwaye, njengoko kwaziwa, "abathandi" baninzi.
Indlela yokuba: Ukuphepha iimeko ezinjalo kunye neengxabano ezibangelwa yiyo, umntu kufuneka azame ukudlulisela ku-ugogo kungeyona nje imigaqo-siseko yokukhuliswa kwakho, kodwa uchaze ukuba kutheni unamathele kubo. Ngoko, kwimeko yokumnandi, akusikho into engakumbi ukumazi ugogo kunye neengcaphuno zeenkonzo zedokotela wamazinyo: ibhilikhi ejikelezayo ngokuqinisekileyo iyakubetha "imiphumo ye-chocolate".
"IIMBINI EZIMBINI EZIQHELEKILEYO"
Imfundo yeProfayili yona ngongoma apho oogogo bahlekelwa yi-nannies kuyo yonke imiba. Ngelishwa, phakathi kwothando lomntwana kunye nokukwazi ukumncedisa okanye ukufundisa into ethile, akukho ubulungisa. Ugogo unako ukuxhamla kwengqondo ngokusisigxina nomntwana, kodwa ngelo xesha akakwazi ukuchaza kuye izinto eziphambili. Yaye nangona ugogo unemfundo yokufundisa, oku akusiyo yonke isibambiso sokuphumelela. Ngexesha elidlulileyo, utshintsho oluninzi luye lwaqhubeka kwaye iindlela ezintsha zemfundo yabantwana ziye zavela, apho unyoko onokuthi angaqhelanga. Ngenxa yokuba ukuphuhliswa kwangaphambili kwabantwana ngoku kuxabiseke kakhulu, imeko yangoku ayinakuyithandeka kakhulu kumntwana wakho.
Indlela yokuba yiyo: Izikolo zokuphuhliswa kwangaphambili, zonke iintlobo zamacandelo kunye nezibonda, amaqela angamaxesha angama-kindergartens - yintoni engayilungisa loo nto. Kwale meko, ugogo angakwazi ukufika ngokufanelekileyo kunye nokusemandleni abo - ngubani omnye oya kumqhubela umntwana kuyo yonke le maziko?
Ukuqulunqa konke oku ngasentla, kulula ukufika kwisigqibo sokuba ekuphuhliseni nasekukhulisweni komntwana okukhethwa kukho kukubona kukomkhulu nomnxeba kanyekanye. Enyanisweni, i-nanny iphinda iphindaphindile imisebenzi yomama, ngoko maxa wambi kulula kakhulu ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo naye. Kodwa ukuhlaziywa kwekhaya, ukuthembela kunye nomoya wokhuseleko, oogogo abanika abantwana, abanakuyithengwa nayiphi na imali. Kwaye akuninzi kwimicimbi yemfundo, ukuhlambalazana kunye nokuphuhliswa kwangaphambili. Sineenkumbulo zeeape, iiflethi kunye ne-semolina eziqhelekileyo. Yaye ngubani okhumbula ukuba ugogo wayevelise into "engalunganga"? Ingaba ngumama wethu.
IIMVIWO
UKsenia MERENKOVA, i-Institute of Practical Psychology "iTerra", iVoronezh, isazi seengqondo
Ngokuqhelekileyo, isizathu sokwenqaba iinkonzo kubagogo asinalo ukubhala nokubhala okungenakulinganiswa kwabazukulwana (njengokuba ngaphandle kwayo, yena kunye nogogo!), Kunye nobudlelwane bethu bomzali kunye nogogo. Siphelile kude nakwizizukulwana ezidala, sizama ukuzimela ngokukhawuleza, kwaye ngoku ubuya kubonwa njengokuzinikela. Ukuba imeko ibonakala ngathi, cinga ngendlela owazimeleyo ngayo, kude kube ngoku uloyike ukubuyela kukhulu wakho, ongekho utitshala wakho, kodwa uncedisayo. Yaye ngubani lo ugogo? Lo ngumama. Yakho okanye wakho umlingane. Mhlawumbi ukungafuni ukusebenzisa iinkonzo zakhe akubangelwa ukungavumelani kwiingcamango malunga nokukhuliswa kwenzalo, kodwa ngeengxabano ezindala, izikhalazo ezide? • Kakade, ukuba ungena endlwini, uya kuba ngu-ugogo kungekuphela komntwana wakho, kodwa kuwe, kodwa ukuba unokukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho, inzuzo yalo manyano inokuthi ikhuphe ngokugqithiseleyo.