Ebomini, apho kukho ezimbini - kungabikho ukuxabana okwenzekayo, nokuba nobudlelwane obuhle kakhulu abuqinisekanga ukulwa neengxabano. Kubalulekile ukuba ekupheleni kombambano bekungekho umnqweno wokugqibela kwaye ungakhange uwubone lo mntu. Kodwa ukuba ngale ngxabano uya kwindawo yokugqibela phezu kobudlelwane, uze ufike. Ungavumeli utshaba luvule imilomo yabo, luthande ilahleko kuyo yonke imbali yonxibelelwano, ikhuphe yonke ingqumbo, kwaye ekugqibeleni iqale ukubetha izitya ezinikezwa ngumama.
Ewe, ukuba unenjongo yokuphelisa ukuxabana ngoxolo, ke ungakhumbuli izikhalazo ezidala, emva koko, kukho ukuxolelana emva kwazo, unike ithuba lokuthetha nomlingane wakho, kodwa ungaphakamisi ilizwi lakho, kuba ukukrazula nokukrazula akukho nto efanelekileyo. Amabango ahlala ekhona kwaye uya kuba, njengoko ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho bukhula, kwaye abantu abafanelekileyo abakho. Kodwa ukuba kukho iingxaki ezingaphendulwanga phakathi kwenu, musa ukuzixelela ngokukhawuleza abahlobo bakho, bacele inkxaso kunye novelwano. Sombulula zakho iingxaki.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwiimeko zobomi kuphela umfazi unako ukuqala ukuvuma iimpazamo zakhe okanye ukunceda umlingane wakhe enze isinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisana. Eli bhinqa lincinci kwaye linobubele kwaye ngoko rhoqo uzama ukuqeda ukuxabana nokuxolelana. Uya kukubulela kwaye uya kuhlala ehlangana nawe. Ukufungela kufuneka ukwazi ukukhawuleza ukuphuma kwimpikiswano. Emva koko ingxabano ayiyi kubonakala kakhulu kwi lamano. Awukwazi ukuthula ngokukhawuleza ngexesha lempikiswano, ngale nto uvumela ukuba umsindo wakho ubambelele kwaye ushuthumele imeko, engakhokelela ekufeni. Funda ukuxolela. Nangona ungaxoleli. Kubalulekile ukuba indoda iphosakele.
Ukuziphatha komntu kubaluleke kakhulu ngexesha lokuxabana, kudla ukuba kwenzeka ukuba amaqabane ajwayele ukugxekwa kunye nokuhleka usulu, kungekuphela nje ukungaziphathi kakuhle, kodwa nakwimvelo, okuyiyo yonke into. Kodwa, emva koko, kufuneka uzame ukuhla kuwo. Kwaye ke ukugxeka okungapheliyo ukuyeka kuya kuba yingxaki. Cinga, gweba, mhlawumbi kule gadalala unayo isabelo sakho sokusola.
Ngaba ungafungi, kunye nomntu ofuna ukukhumbula imithetho embalwa:
Ukuba kukho ithuba lokukhusela ukuvela kwimeko engqubuzanayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani, zama ukwenza njalo. Kungcono ihlabathi elibi kunokugqithisana.Ukuba "ukucaciswa kobudlelwane" kwaqala, khuluma ngokuzithoba, ngaphandle kokuphakamisa izwi lakho. Ukumemeza kusayi kufezekiswa nantoni na. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, zama ukugcina iinyembezi. Abafana abaxhomeli oku.
Musa ukukhumbula izikhalazo ezindala, kuba emva kwabo kwakukho ukubuyisana.
Musa ukusongela. Lo ngumzamo ogqithiseleyo wokufezekisa oko kufunwa ngokufungela kwisigqityu esifutshane, kungekhona ukuxoxisana, kodwa nge-blackmail, ukuhlaselwa kunye nobudlova.Xa uxabana nomhlobo, funda ukuba ungamangaleli omnye umntu. Amagama abhekiswe kubathandekayo bakho: "Umele uxanduva lwezinto zonke", uthathwa njengothusayo. Ngexesha elifanayo, awuyi kubeka phambili iimfuno ezicacileyo, kodwa nyanzela iqabane ukuba uzive unetyala. Ingqiqo yokuthotywa kunye nokungafanelekanga ukudala ubudlelwane.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba indoda kunye nesibini ibondazana ezimbini zelizwekazi elilodwa, neembono ezahlukeneyo ngeemeko zengqondo ezahlukileyo, kwaye ngokuhambelana nokuqonda okuhlukeneyo kwengxaki enye. Funda ukuhlakanipha nokuzola ukuqonda zonke iingxaki. Akunabani abaphumeleleyo kwimpikiswano, wonke umntu ulahlekelwa. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba imfazwe nolwalamano lwentlalo kuxhomekeke kuphela kubafazi, lilawula, kwaye liyakwazi ukunciphisa umonakalo.