Yintoni abayikwesabayo abantwana?
Abantwana bayamoyikayo. Oko. ukwenzela ukuba umntwana aqale ufumane ukwesaba okungenangqiqo, ufuna ukutshatyalaliswa ngamandla, isizathu. Ngokuqhelekileyo ngabazali baxabana, amafilimu ekhwankqisayo okanye iikhathuni, izinto ezingaqhelekanga, izandi ezivakalayo, ngamanye amaxesha amabinzana abantu abadala. Amabali adumile ngoBabayka yaba yimbangela yezoyiko ezahlukeneyo phakathi kwabantwana abaninzi.
Ukongezelela, abantwana banokuvakalelwa kakuhle ngabazali babo. Ukuba abantu bekwesaba ngento ethile, ke le meko idluliselwa kumntwana. Ngoko ke, kuyafaneleka ukuhlala uxolo nabantwana.
Abantwana beminyaka engaphantsi kweentlanga zengqondo banokuva ukwesaba intlungu kunye nokwesaba okuhambelana nezibhedlele ezihambelayo, ukwesaba kwabalinganiswa bezantombi. Ngako oko, xa ufunda iindaba zeenkcazo kumntwana, kuyafaneleka ukunciphisa umfanekiso ongeyena wamaqhawe.
Abantwana abakhulileyo baqala ukwesaba izinto ezinzulu. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana beminyaka yobudala besikolweni, baqonde ukufa kwabo kunye nokufa kwabazali. Baqala ukukhathazeka ukuba banokufa ngokukhawuleza okanye balahlekelwe ngumthandayo. Ngamanye amaxesha uloyiko luyakwazi ukubamba.
Abantwana abakhulileyo bayesaba ukungakuthandi, bayesaba iimpazamo kunye nezijeziso, ukugwetywa kunye nokulahleka. Ukwesaba kwabo sele kufana nezo zivakalelwa ngabantu abadala.
Ukugweba abantwana ngenxa yokwesaba akunanto. Oku kuya kunzima kuphela imeko. Umntwana uya kuvala. Kwaye ukwesaba kwakhe okuqala kuya kwongeza ukwesaba kohlwaywa. Oku kunokubangela ukuphambuka okukhulu kwi-psyche, neurosis kunye ne-enuresis.
Indlela yokujongana noloyiko?
Okokuqala kufuneka uhlukanise phakathi koyiko oluqhelekileyo kunye nama-phobias. I-Phobias i-obsessions engashiyi umntwana. Ukwesaba okuqhelekileyo kuvela rhoqo ngamaxesha kwaye kudlula ngokukhawuleza.
Kubalulekile ukususa ebusweni bomntwana ezo zinto eziyikrakrayo, ukuchazela ukuba impilo yakhe nempilo ayingozi, ukuyibonakalisa nangayiphi indlela. Ungazami ukukhawuleza ukwesaba, umzekelo, ukuba umntwana uloyiko lobumnyama, awuyikulivala ekamelweni elimnyama. Oku akuyi kunciphisa ukwesaba ku-akukho, kodwa kuyomeleze kuphela okanye kuqhube i-hysterical. Khumbula wena njengabantwana, ngokuqinisekileyo, wayesaba into ethile. Ngoko ke, musa ukuphatha abantwana njengoko ungafuni ukuphathwa. Lo myalelo wegolide usebenza kakhulu ngoku.
Ukubonelela indawo enokuthula kwintsapho. Ukuphelisa zonke iingxabano kunye nokuxabana, unakekele umntwana ekucindezelekeni. Mfundele ezo ncwadi ezingayesabisi umntwana, ungavumeli iimvumi ezibukeleyo ezinokubangela ukwesaba. Yaye uzama ukuthetha kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunye nosana malunga noko kukukhathazayo. Khulisa umntwana, kodwa ungafihli inyaniso. Umzekelo, ukuba inkwenkwe iyika ukuba uya kufela, ungamthembisi ukuba oku akuze kwenzeke. Ndixelele ukuba uzama ukwenza konke ukwenzela ukuba oku kwenzeke ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka, emva kweminyaka emininzi. Umntwana kunzima ukucinga ukuba inxalenye yesikhashana, ithi, iminyaka engama-50 okanye eyi-100, ngoko le nkcazelo iyanelisayo.
Kwimeko apho ukwesaba kwabantwana kungekudluli, kufuneka udibanise nengcali yengqondo yengqondo ukuze uncede kunye nengcebiso. Oku kuya kukunceda ukucombulula ingxaki ngokukhawuleza kwaye uphephe imiphumo emihle. Into eyona nto kukuqonda ukuba ukwesaba okumalunga nobuntwana kuqhelekileyo. Ukuphambuka kwimimiselo, banokuphela xa bephazamisa ubomi obuqhelekileyo bomntwana, kodwa le ngxaki ingokusombululwa ngokukhawuleza nangempumelelo.