Umgaqo ophambili wokukhulelwa kwabantwana unokubonakaliswa ngumzekeliso - "udumise kubo bonke, nijezise yedwa." Ukuba isijeziso somntwana kwaye ngoko yonke into iyacaca (isohlwayo asiyindlela yemfundo), ngoko malunga neendumiso zokudumisa abazali abaselula. Njengoko bathetha, bayesaba ukudumisa. Ngaba ufanele umdumise umntwana wakho? Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyimfuneko. Kubonisa uthando ngomntwana. Kodwa kuya kwenzeka nokuba indumiso iyingozi.
Ukulungisa indlela yokuziphatha komntwana ngokudumisa kulula kwaye kulula. Xa sinyamekela iimpazamo ezincinci kunye nodumo kuyo yonke imizamo yebhokhwe, sibonisa ukuba asiyikungabaza impumelelo yakhe. Oku kusifundisa ukuba singayiki iimpazamo size siqhubekele phambili ekujoliswe kuyo. Ukhuthazo olunamandla lwabantwana lunokwenza izinto ezimangalisayo: kubangele ukuba benze izenzo ezilungileyo, bandise ukuzithemba kwabo. Yintoni enye into yokudumisa?
Ukuba unenjongo yokukhuthaza umntwana, ngoko kungekudala uzakufunda ukubona iimpumelelo zentsana yakho kuyo yonke into. Xa uvavanya isenzo, ungagxininisi kwisiphumo, kuba kungenakuphumelela kakhulu. Ukuqwalasela ezo njongo ezintle apho umntwana athatha khona ityala. Kwaye nangona ityala lichithwe, usenokufumana iimeko ezintle kwimeko.
Amagama avunyelweyo, udumo lwabazali lwamkela umntwana ngokuchaneka kokuziphatha kwakhe. Ngoko kuza ukuqonda kwezinto "ezilungileyo" kunye "ezimbi." Amagama omculo ukwandisa ukuzithemba komntwana. Umbono obaluleke kakhulu wokubaluleka komntu uzalwe engqondweni yomntwana. Inkwenkwe engadunyiswayo yinto yonke inomdla wokungabaza amandla akhe kwaye isoloko iyamoyika ukungaphumeleli.
Dumisani imilo iinjongo zomntwana. Ukuba abazali bathi: "Yigcine!" - ke umntwana uyaqonda ukuba yonke into yenza okulungileyo, ukuba uhamba ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana ubaluleke kakhulu ngenkxaso kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba le shishini liye kuye. Ukuvunywa kunceda ukukhupha ukungathandabuzeki nayo yonke imizamo yokuqondisa ekuphumeleleni kwesiphumo. Emva kwamagama anomusa, nayiphi na icebiso elivela kubadala lihle ngakumbi.
Nangona kunjalo, ungadumisi kunye okanye ngaphandle komntwana ngaphandle kokufaneleka. Dumisani kuphela ngomsebenzi, ngenzame, ngenjongo enhle, kwaye kungekhona ngenxa yobungakanani bamandla okanye idatha yangaphandle. Umntu omncinci, odunyiswayo nje oko, ngokukhawuleza uyasetyenziselwa kwaye ulahlekelwe yimfuneko yokuzama. Kwaye ngolunye usuku, engafumananga imvume kwabanye okanye ukuva ukuba yaya kwelinye, umntwana uya kukufihla ukuhlambalaza. Ukuvakalelwa kokungabi nabulungisa kunye nokungabikho kwengqwalasela kunokudala iimpawu ezinjengentukuthelo encinci kunye nomona wempumelelo yomnye umntu.
Kwakhona, musa ukuthelekisa umntwana wakho nabanye: "Ndiqinisekile ukuba unokuyenza kunye noVasya, ukuba uzama!" Kangakanani na esizivelayo ebuntwaneni ukuba umntwana othile ka-anti uhlakaniphile okanye angcono! Abazali bethu bacinga ukuba ngaloo ndlela basenokunyanzela ukuba silandele "iinkokeli". Kodwa masivume ukuba ukuthelekiswa okunjalo akuncedi kakhulu. Kubonakala kunobungozi ukumisa umntwana njengomzekelo kumntu onika lula kakhulu. Lo mzekeliso uxabisa yonke imizamo kwaye unciphisa umnqweno womntwana wokuthatha isenzo. Ukongezelela, inkcaso enjalo ibangela ukuba kukhuphiswano olungenampilo.
Kwakhona kunobungozi ukudumisa umntwana ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngokwemvakalelo emoyeni kwizinto ezifunekayo umntwana ngenxa yobudala. Ukhuphe umbhede? USam unxibe Abantwana baqala ukujonga ukusebenza komsebenzi wabo oqhelekileyo njengesiganeko esikhethekileyo, basebenzise ukwenza yonke imiboniso. Ukukhuthazwa akufanele kuphawulwe ngempumelelo, kodwa ukufezekisa okufuna umzamo omkhulu. Kwaye ekugqibeleni niyikhumbule, nidumise bonke, nijeziswe yedwa. Iindumiso ezilungileyo zihlala zixhalabisayo kungekhona ngumntu wonke, kodwa isenzo sekhonkrithi.