Kwiinyanga zokuqala zobomi bentsana, ukuqhelana nehlabathi kwenzeka ngokuva, umntwana uyamoyika izandi ezibukhali. Xa evula indawo ebonakalayo yengqondo (oku kudlalwa kwiinyanga ezi-6-12), umntwana uqala ukwesaba oko akubonayo. Ngeli xesha, kukho ukwesaba okukhulu emehlweni abo bantu abangaziwa, njengokuba kwindawo yokuqala ukuba i-analyzer yehlabathi ibonakale. Ingqungquthela yokukhusela ichazela umntwana ukuba yonke into engaqhelekanga ingaba yingozi, ngoko iqala ukuba ingenangqondo. Phantse kule minyaka ubudala umntwana uqala ukwahlula abanye "bakhe" kunye "nabafokazi". Nabani na umntu umbonwa ngumntwana ngezinye izikhathi unokufikelela "kumfokazi". Xa zivela, umntwana usenokumemeza aze akhale. Oku kungenxa yokuba umntwana uvakalelwa ngoloyiko kunye nokuxhalaba emehlweni omntu ohlukeneyo nonina, uloyiko lokuphazamiseka ngokukhawuleza kulo mntu. Kulo nyaka ubudala abantwana baqala ukulandela "umsila" womama.
Ngamakhwenkwe, oku kungabonwa kuze kube yiminyaka emithathu, kumantombazana - ukuya kwiiyure kunye nesiqingatha. Ingane iziva ixhala kwaye ibuhlungu, ukuba uyaphazamisa ukubonana naye okanye umzimba wakhe othandekayo. Ukuze unqobe uloyiko lwabantwana, khuluma nomntu ofanele ukuza kukutyelela. Makuqale uhlale kwaye ukhangele, kwaye ngelo xesha uya kuba kufuphi nomntwana wakho, nokuba bhetele, ukuba umntwana usezandleni zakho. Umntwana uya kubona ukuba unina uthetha ngokuthula naye lo mntu, emomotheka kuye, uyaqonda ukuba umntu omtsha akayi mngcipheko kuye, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uyasetyenziswa. Emva koko vumela isivakashi sakho sinike itekisi kumntwana, zama ukuthetha ngokuthula naye, kwaye "umntwana" wakho uya kuhamba kunye naye ukuba adibanise naye, kwaye emva kwesikhashana uza kuyithatha "yakhe".
Kwakhona inkunzi ayifuni ukuya ukuya kukubona ugqirha esibhedlele, kuba uyamoyika abantu abangaziwayo abangaziwayo. Ingane inokufumana uvuyo kakhulu emehlweni omalume ongaqhelekanga okanye u-anti eengubo ezimhlophe eziyakukhala ixesha elide, nangona xa ushiya esibhedlele. Kodwa ukutyelela ugqirha kungenziwa buhlungu kakhulu xa ufundela umntwana wakho, umzekelo, udlala naye ekhaya "esibhedlele." Ungathenga iisethi zezokwelapha zezingane, uhlabe ithoyizi, idonsa okanye ibhere le-teddy isambatho esimhlophe-baya kuba ogqirha. Vumela umntwana usuphilise aze agxininise amathoyizi akhe, aphephe i-paws yakhe ngamathambo, ama-bandages. Kodwa zonke ezi zenzo, ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka umbonise, kuba ngaphandle kokuthatha inxaxheba kwakho kulo mdlalo, inkunzi iya kuba nzima ukuyiqonda yonke inkqubo. Ayenzi buhlungu nokuba uthenge incwadi ethi "Aibolit" kwaye uyifunde kumntwana wakho.
Ngomntwana ozifunayo kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukutyelela iindawo zoluntu, hamba naye kwiindawo zokudlala ezixakekileyo, iipaki, ukwenzela ukuba ngokukhawuleza asetyenziswe ukuba uninzi lwabantu abasondelene naye. Kwaye emva koko emva koko ufundisa ngokuzithoba ukuba ahambe.
Ngeli xesha lobomi bomntwana wakho awukwazi ukuhlaziswa ngenxa "yesaba"; Awunako ukwesabisa umntwana ngenjongo yokufundisa kunye nomalume wakhe, umntwana, ipolisa, ingcuka, okanye omnye umntu oza kuza kumthabatha xa umntwana engayithobeli; Awukwazi ukufumana iindwendwe ezininzi ebusaneni bakhe; Awukwazi ukushiya umntwana wakho nabantu abangabaziyo, abangaziwayo.
Kwakhona, akuyimfuneko, njengokuqeqesha, ukuphoqa umntwana ukuba axubane nomalume wakhe okanye nonina omthusayo. Zama ukhathaza uxhalabo lwakhe ngokuqonda nangentlonelo-lubonisa ukuphuhliswa kwengane, kuba uqala ukwahlula phakathi "kwakhe" kunye "nabantu abangaziwayo."
Abanye abazali abaxhomeki ngokubaluleka kubantwana bezoyiko, baqala ukuthetha nomntwana wabo, umzekelo, ukuba lo nguyise wakhe, ukuze ahambe ezandleni zakhe, ukuba khona kwabangamaziyo kwindlu kuthintela umntwana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kodwa umntwana okwangoku utshaya iingcamango entloko encinci ukuba lo utata akazange abukeke njengonina, ukuba akavumi njengonina, kwaye ngokubanzi akayazi ukuba uza kwenza ntoni nam. Omncinci uqala ukukrazula nokukhala, ngoko ke ungena kwindawo ye-crumb, kwaye, njengoko sele sele ibhaliwe, makabe esetyenziselwa umfokazi okwesikhashana.
Ngenxa yokwesaba abantu abangaqhelekanga, phantse bonke abantwana baya, kuquka nabo abo iintsapho zabo zizinzile kwaye zizolile. Kodwa njengokuba uyazi, oku kunye nolunye uloyiko lwezingane ezihlala kwindawo yokuzola, ukungabikho kwengxabano, novelwano kunye neentlonelo zasekhaya zikhula ngokukhawuleza kwaye kulula.
Iingcali zengqondo ziphawula enye into ebangel 'umdla: kwiintsapho kunye nokusabalaliswa kwemveli kwendima, xa ubaba esebenzayo, kwaye unina unyanzelekile, abantwana bakhula kakhulu. Zama ukukunceda umntwana wakho asinde kule nqanaba elinzima ebomini bakhe.
Umama noba kufuneka baqaphele ngokukodwa ngomntwana wabo, zama ukuba ungayitshintshi imfundo yakhe kumagxa asegogo kunye nabannies, ixesha elininzi kunokwenzeka ukuba anike umntwana wakhe, musa ukuhlala kude naye ixesha elide, wenqaba ukuhamba kwaye ushiye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukuhlukana (ukushiya okanye ukuya emsebenzini) nomntwana kusenakuphepheka, ngoko kungaphantsi kweenyanga, qalisa ukujwayela umntwana wakho kumntu oza kuchitha ixesha. Kungcono ukuba uqalise ngokukhawuleza uncedisayo ebomini kwintsapho yakho; makangabi nakhulu ugogo okanye unina kuqala ukuba eze kuwe, kunye nawe udlala nomntwana, uyamkhathalela. Kufuneka uhlale ukhona ngelo thuba, kwaye emva kwexeshana ungazama ukushiya umntwana wedwa kunye nalo mntu. Into enhle abazali abanokuyenza kukuba baphile ngokuzeleyo ngeli xesha kunye nosana lwabo. Emva koko, isiqinisekiso sesimo esonwabileyo sengqondo somntu omdala kukuba ukwesaba kwabantwana okwenzeka ngexesha.
Musa ukulwa ngenjongo yokwesaba. Emva kweenyanga ezili-14-18, ukwesaba kunciphisa, kwaye iminyaka emibini idla ngokugqithiseleyo. Laphula la macebiso, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu - kholelwa kuwe kunye nosana lwakho, yenzele zonke iimeko eziyimfuneko zokuphuhliswa, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uya kukhula emntwini omncinane umntu onamandla kwaye onempilo.