Abantu abaninzi bavame ukuthabatha amaphupha abo. Kwaye kukho isizathu esithile saloo nto, kuba amaphupha, njengombandela, enokwenene. Nangona kunjalo, ungesabi ukuba lo busuku "uchithe" kwiingalo zomphathi othiyiweyo okanye, nakakhulu, "wahamba" esitalatini ngendlala ...
Unokuzolalisa idumela lakho! I-Psychoanalyst ithi: nakanjani nawuphi na umfazi onokulala ngesiphupha, oku kuthetha into eyodwa kuphela - unempilo. Iingcamango zesimo esingenakubukrola asikho ubungqina bokunyaniseka nokunyaniseka, kodwa nje ukufaka ubungqina kwiingcamango ezicebile kunye nophuhliso olupheleleyo lomntu. Ukongezelela, akuzona zonke iiphupha eziphambili ezisekelwe kumava esicwangciso sesondo.
Ngokuchasene nentsholongwane eninzi, le mimangaliso ebusika kwiimfazana ezithandana ngokwesondo ayinqabile kangangoko kunabamantombazana endala kunye "nezitokisi eziluhlaza." Iiphupha ezingalindelekanga kunye nezobugorha, ezinokuthi zifaneleke njengophambukiselo olulodwa okanye ukuguquka, zizaliseke zonke ezi zinto, ngokwenene zibonisa ukuba umphuphi ufumana ubunzima bokuziphatha. Oku kunokunganeliseki kwintlalo yoluntu, iingxaki ngokuzithemba, kunye nezihlobo okanye abasebenzi basebenzisana nabo. Ubomi bobubomi, ezi ngxaki azinakwenzeka, okanye umntu akafuni ukucinga ngako, ukhetha, njengeencini, ukufihla intloko yakhe entlabathi. Kwaye ephupheni, xa kungenakukwazi ukukhutshwa kwidyokhwe yesiqhelo, zonke izikhalazo zethu kunye nezifiso ezingenakwenzeka. Ngako oko kunceda kakhulu ukukhumbula amaphupha akho agugu, ukwenzela ukuba ukhangele ngakumbi "ujonge" ekukhanyeni komhla.
ISIHLOKO
Abanye abesifazana bahlala besondo ephupheni kunye nabadumileyo. Emva koko uza kuba nomsitholi nomlawuli wefilimu odumileyo ngokubonakala kwenkampu yeKhatatshi, ngoko ngokuzenzekelayo i-soloist yeqela elithandwayo leqela eliphambili liza kuphupha, umongameli osasazekayo okanye umbonisi weTV ... Akuyi kubakho ubomi busuku, kodwa i-movie ephambili ye-movie!
Enyanisweni, ukutshatyalaliswa kunye nobuntu obuthile kubonwa ngabasetyhini abaselula-ezinjalo izidalwa zothando, baqala ukuqonda ubulili babo. Ukuphelelwa yimvakalelo engaqhelekanga neminqweno, baqala ukukhangela into efanelekileyo yokuqwalasela. Kodwa phakathi kwezinto ezinobungozi, njengomthetho, akunjalo. Kwaye ngoko kwimbono yasebusuku kukulungele ukufezeka komntu. Mhle kwaye awufumaneki. Kwaye kungenakwenzeka kulo mzekelo kuncedo kakhulu: luhlobo lomshuwalense ngokuxhalabisa okubuhlungu okulindele uthando lokwenene.
Ukuba loo maphupha ahanjelwa ngumfazi omdala, oku kuthetha ngokunyaniseka kwakhe kwaye akakwazi ukuthetha kunye nesini esahlukileyo okanye ngokungaqiniseki kwakhe kwintombi yakhe. Umbuzo wendalo ungavela: "Kutheni kutheni ubona ephupheni ngeyona nto ibhetele kakhulu? "Kulula kakhulu: akukho nto ihobisa umfazi onjengendoda ehamba ecaleni kwayo. (Ngamanye amagama: yintoni umlobi, oku kubanjwa.) Lo mboniso ubeka umgangatho oqhelekileyo oqhubeka uvavanya umfazi ongekho ngokwemfanelo yakhe, kodwa kwiimeko zomyeni wakhe okanye umthandi wakhe. Ngoko ke, "ukuzithanda ngothando" kunye nodumo, umfazi-engazi kakuhle! - uzama ukuphucula ukuzithemba kwabo. Oko kuthetha ukuba ngengqondo ibeka uphawu olulinganayo phakathi kwakhe kunye neqabane lakhe "leenkwenkwezi".
IZINDAWO ZASESBIAN
Iingcamango apho umfazi ezenza uthando nomhlobo wakhe omhle, usebenza kunye naye okanye umhlobo omtsha, awukwazi ukubiza umnandi. Oko kukuthi, ephupheni, uvakalelo luyamnandi, kodwa ke ... Ukukhangela kwiimifanekiso zentsasa zobusuku obunobusuku, abaninzi bathululela ukuthukutheza okubandayo kwaye, belahlekelwa yimali yokuzithemba, babuze umbuzo obulalayo: "Ngokwenene ndi ...?"
Gulisa phantsi, awuyena umlingani wesini. Uninzi kunokwenzeka, ukulamba, oko kukuthi, ukungabikho kwemvakalelo yenyama, ukuchukumisa ngenyameko, ukucocwa kweengxaki kunye nokuqonda ngokubambisana kunye neqabane lakho, kukunyanzelise ukuba wenze izinto ezinjalo ebusuku. Ngamanye amaxesha, ngokungabikho kokwalamano kokomoya, kunokuba nzima ukuba umfazi avume kumyeni wakhe ukuba ulindeleke kuye kungekhona kuzo zonke iintsebenziswano ayezijwayele kuzo. Ngokomzekelo, amaphupha omzimba womlomo, kwaye ungumdlali onamandla kakhulu onjalo "ogqithiseleyo".
Ukunganeliseki ngokwesondo, umnqweno wokuva iimvakalelo ezingenakufikeleleka ebomini bokwenene, ukudlula endaweni engaziwayo, ziguqulwa zibe yimifanekiso engalindelekanga. Ububele kunye nokufudumala, njengomthetho, zidibene nomgaqo wesetyhini, ngoko umlingane uthatha ukhangele ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuqinisekileyo ukufumana iimfuno zomzimba wesibhambathiso, unikeza ithuba lokubona "isibhakabhaka kwidayimani eziluhlaza."
Ukuze ufumane into efanayo eqinisweni, zama ukuxelela ngohambo lwakho lobusuku ukuya kwisiqithi saseLesbos ukuya kumthandi wakho. Mhlawumbi oku kuya kumnceda ukuba abe neentlonelo, aphuphe kwaye anene.
ISITHILI NENKQUBO YOKUQALA
Ukuba uphupha ngexesha elifanelekileyo ukuba ulala ngesilwanyana - ingonyama, inja enkulu, ibhere, njl., Akusiyo yonke into ukucinga ukuba u-zoophilic owonakele. Kungenzeka ukuba akuzange kwenzeke kuwe ukuba uzame into efana nenyaniso. Kwaye oku kuqondakalayo, ekubeni imvelaphi yale phupha ayikho isondo kodwa isondlo. Inyaniso yokuba isilwanyana sidlala indima yendoda ephupheni ngokuqinisekileyo iyafaka ubungqina bokuba uloyiko lwaloo wesifazane aluyikuqonda ukuba "inkohlakalo, inkunzi yindoda". Zizo zinto ezinzulwini zomphefumlo wakhe ukuba ziqwalasele bonke abameli besini esahlukileyo. Kungenzeka ukuba uluvo olunjalo lukhuliswe ebuntwaneni phantsi kwefuthe lobazali obunzima kunye nolawulo (okanye unina, owamthanda ukuphinda aphinde athi onke amadoda ahlaselayo).
MR NEZNAMOETS
Ukuba uphupha ephusheni elinomdla kunye nomntu ongaqhelekanga onobuso obungazange abe nexesha lokuzibona kakuhle, oku akuthethi ukuba uyintombazana enengqondo, umcebisi weentlanga ezimbi. Ngokuphambene noko! Ebomini, ngokuqinisekileyo unamathela kwimilinganiselo eqinile, jonga kude xa kukho into ethile "into" ebonakalayo kwithempyuthele, kwaye nakumyeni ohlala naye iminyaka elishumi, musa ukuvumela "ukungafani". Ngokukhawuleza - kuwe!
Okwangoku, isiqhamo sikaMnu X sikabusuku asiyingozi. Esi sihlandlo sokucinga malunga nokuba awunamathelisi kwizinto ezisemgangathweni, iimvakalelo zemiqobo neminqweno ngenxa yobandlululo? Mhlawumbi ufanelekile ukuphumla, uvumele ukuhamba kwakho ngokwesini kwaye ungazibuze umbuzo ongapheliyo: "Yintoni umyeni wam uya kucinga ngam?"
Khumbula, ngobusuku bobusuku yonke into yayihlukile. Uyazi ukuba awuyi kuphinda umhlangabeze. Kule meko, umphumo womnye umhambi usebenza. Kwaye xa uzama ukuguqula iphupha ngokwenene? Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uhambe yonke indlela, nje uzame ukuhlala wedwa nomntu oyintanda ngokuphathelele ukuba ungumama onobuhle, umfazi onomzekelo kunye nomfazi onomzekelo. Zivale wena nje ngumfazi-ukhululekile, unqwenelekayo, uthanda. Khumbula indlela owabelana ngayo ngesondo ephupheni, oko kwakuthetha ntoni kuwe, wathini na? Mhlawumbi ngokwenene into enomdla kulindelekile kunokuba uphupha.
KARAULULI, UBULUNKULU!
Uyakhumbula i-anecdote malunga nekati, elalikhalaza ngelinye ilanga ngaphambi kweso sigqeba esadlwengulwa ngu "mnye"? Ngomso olandelayo kwenzeka into efanayo. "Namhlanje ndiza kuphinda ndibuye ..." wathetha ngokukrakra.
Nanku umfazi ophupha ukuba udlwenguliwe, engazi kakuhle amaphupha aloo meko. Ngenxa yokuba igxininiswe ngokuqinileyo ekuvinjelweni kwasekhaya ngesini. Wavela phi? Mhlawumbi, ebuntwaneni obunzulu, wakuva isicatshulwa "somntu omdala" uthetha ukuba yonke le "ngcola" ayikwazi ukutsala umfazi ohloniphekileyo. Okanye umama uphakamise ukuba intombazana ehloniphekileyo ayifanele ibenze amehlo kubafana kwaye ngokubanzi ibonise umdla kwiindawo "ezihlazo" zobomi.
Ukuziphatha ngokwemvelo, okokuba, xa umfazi engesabi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe, ubonise isinyathelo kunye nokufumana uxhaso ngokwesondo, kubonakala ngathi uyaziphethe kakubi kwaye akavumelekanga kwi-prism yazo zonke ezi thintelo. Kwaye ke, ukuzama ukuzikhohlisa, umfazi uqala ukungafuni into engayifumana ngayo iinyoni ezimbini ngelitye elinye: ukuzikhupha kwixanduva lokwenza izinto kunye nokonwabela ngesondo.
ISIKOLO ESIKHULUMENTE
Ubusondelelwano nomphathi wakho ngumnye wezifundo eziqhelekileyo zephupho elikhulayo. Ukuba umphathi ngumntu onomdla, kungenokuba kuhle ukuba iphupha liye liqhubekele ukungahambi kakuhle kweemfuno zakho zomhla kunye neengcinga ezidlalayo. Ukuba uyindoda enobunzima kunye nemikhwa yongxowankulu kunye nomtyholi, kuyafaneleka ukukhangela isitshixo ekucaciseni ukuza kwakhe ebusuku.
Ngaba ucinga ukuba isikhundla sakho sifana noko ufanelekile? Ngaba iimpawu zezoshishino zakho zixabiso? Ngaba unelisekile ngesimo sakho? Kungenzeka ukuba uthethe ngezinga eliphezulu lokuba unomntu onomdla, usebenza kakuhle, uyazi kakuhle into oyifunayo. Kodwa ngoku awuphumelelanga ekuzaleni izicwangciso zakho. Kungenzeka ukuba kule nto uyakwazi ukuyisebenzisa kwaye ayikho indlela echanekileyo.
Ayikho imfihlelo yokuba ukusondelana no-boss ivumela "intandokazi" ukuba ihlale kwindawo ekhethekileyo kwiqela kwaye iqhubele phambili kwinqanaba lomsebenzi. Iphupha lakho, ngokuqinisekileyo, alithethi ukuba ulungele ukuguqula i-romance yenkonzo ngaphandle kweengcamango nje. Kodwa i-subconscious yakho sele iqalile ukukhangela iidrap bypass ukuzaliswa kwezicwangciso zobuqili.
Kungabonakala kungaqhelekanga ukuba loo maphupha atyelelwa rhoqo ngabasetyhini abangenako ukunyamezela umphathi wabo. Kubangalindelekanga ukuba balala ngesiphupha, okuya kuthetha intsingiselo okanye ukuxhamla into enenzondo yabo. Oku kuchazwa ngumnqweno ofihlakeleyo wokubuyisela kumthunjelwa, ukumbona ebuthathaka kwaye engakhuselekanga. Le meko, xa indoda ehambayo ihamba ngamandla, ihambelana nale nto kunye nokusemandleni.