Njengoko kuzwakala kukudabukisayo, kodwa owesithathu wesifazane wayenokujamelana nokungcatsha indoda ethandekayo. Abasetyhini basabela ekukhohliseni ngezindlela ezahlukeneyo: umntu uxolela umntu omthandayo, umntu akaxoleli, aze ahlaziye, umntu akathinteli kubaluleka kuyo. Ukuxolela nokulibala ukunyeliswa komyeni wakhe? Kwaye kwenzeka ntoni na?
Yiyiphi imbangela yokunyeliswa kwamadoda?
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuguquka kwamadoda kukubonakalisa ukuba izinto azihambelani kakuhle lwakho nolwalamano.
2. Abantu baqala ukutshintsha xa iimvakalelo zipholile kwaye uthando oludala ludlulayo.
3. Kwakhona, amadoda atshintsha xa bekhathala ngeengxaki zekhaya okanye xa izinto zihle kakhulu ekhaya.
4. Kwaye amanye amadoda atshintsha nje ngokuba ngohlobo lwabo bangamadoda omama. Kwaye akunakwenzeka ukulungisa. Kukho enye indlela yokuphuma: okanye yamkela okanye uyishiye.
5. Kodwa isizathu esiyinhloko senguqu yendoda kukuba ukungabi nethemba kunye nenkxaso kulwalamano. Kule meko, inkosikazi iba ngumhlobo kunye nomnxibelelwano kumntu, owaziyo kwaye uyamkela ngayo yonke impazamo.
Kwiimeko apho ungayithethelela?
Ngaphambi kokuba uxolele, cinga ukuba ngaba wena, ukwazi ngokuguquka, uya kukwazi ukuqhubeka uhlala. Ukuxolela ukulibala nokungazibambezeli. Kakade, oku akuyi kuba lula.
- Ukuba umntu ufihle ngokucophelela kuwe imisebenzi yakhe yothando ngecala, kuthetha ukuba ufuna. Kule meko, unokuxolela inkohlakalo. Ukuba umyeni usenomdla kuwe, kwaye uvakalelwa kukufudumala nobudlelwane phakathi kwakho, mhlawumbi unokuba udiniwe .
- Ngenxa yabantwana, kwakhona, ukuxolela umrhwebi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, olu khetho alufanelekanga kuwo wonke umntu, ingakumbi ukuba umyeni uhlala eshintsha kwaye akawunyamezeli amandla.
- Ukuxolelwa kunokuxolelwa nokuba umrhwebi uphinde abuyele, uzive enetyala kwaye uzama ukuseka ubudlelwane. Ewe, kuya kufuneka afune ukuxolelwa. Ukwahlukana okuncinci, umzekelo kwiinyanga ezi-2, kuya kuba ngumlinganiselo omhle wemfundo. Uya kuba nexesha lokucingisisa ngokuphathelele imeko kwaye wenze isigqibo. Umntu wakho akalahlekelwa lixesha ngeze kwaye uqhubeka ehamba? Emva koko yonke into iyacaca. Kodwa ukuba ifuna ukukubuyisela, ke ungayibaleki kwiinyanga ezimbalwa. Akukho mzekelo ungabonakali okwenzakalayo kunye nokwenzakalisa. Makhe acinge ukuba uyonwabile, ukuba ulahlile umrhwebi. Kungenzeka ukuba umrhwebi uya guquka, kwaye uza kuqala ubomi obutsha.
- Indoda ishintshile wena kuphela emva kokutshatyalaliswa kweentsapho, okanye utywala. Emva koko unokuvala amehlo akho kule meko. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, ukunyaniseka kuyamnandi kwaye kuyonakalisa ukuthembeka komntu othandekayo.
Xa akudingeki uxolele ukuthengwa kwamadoda?
Ngaba kulula ukuxolela ukungcatshwa kumntu omthandayo, nangona ubomi obungenalo buyingqiqo? Le ndoda yamnikela. Kuyinto engathandekiyo xa umntu eguquka kwaye ngexesha elifanayo uqhubeka ekutshela ngothando kwaye ufunge ukunyaniseka.
Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuxolela ukungcatsha ukuba umntu uyeke ukuxabisa ubudlelwane kunye nawe kwaye uzive ukhulu ngaphandle kwakho? Kakade, ukuqhubeka nolwalamano olunjalo akufanelekanga. Unokwazi ukuxolela, kodwa awukwazi ukubuyela kubuhlobo obudala. Ukulahleka kwezinto ezikhohlakeleyo zithemba kunye nentlonipho. Kwaye akukho mbuzo wothando.
Unqume ukungaxoleli ukuxolelwa? Kule meko, yenza konke ukuze umntu angazi ngamava akho. Ngaphambi kokuhlukana, ungatsho into enjalo, ukuze ubomi abubonakali kuye ngoku. Yithi wayengazange amthande, wayehlala ephupha ukuphula ubuhlobo, kwaye wazisa nje umzuzu wokuhlukana. Ubuqhetseba bubuncwane bobudlelwane, emva koko akukho nto.
Yintoni ekungafanelekanga ukuyenza.
Ukulandela indoda yakhe kunye nenkosikazi, ukuthobeka, ukukhala, ukucela ukucinga kwaye ubuyele, zama ukukholisa, ukwazisa zonke izihlobo kunye neentombi. Kunzima kuwe, kodwa qhayisa kwaye ungalahlekelwa sisithunzi! Musa ukuxelela mntu ukuba umyeni wakho utshintshile wena, kuba abaninzi abantu abakujikelezayo baya kukuhleka nje!
Mhlawumbi uya kuxolelana nomyeni wakho. Khawucinge ukuba abantu baya kukukhangela njani, bezazi iinkcukacha ezinobomi bakho!
Musa ukucela umrhwebi malunga nenkosikazi yakhe kunye nobudlelwane naye. Emva kokuba ufunde zonke iinkcukacha, uya kuphazamiseka ngakumbi.
Mhlawumbi uya kuxolelana nomyeni wakho. Khawucinge ukuba abantu baya kukukhangela njani, bezazi iinkcukacha ezinobomi bakho!
Musa ukucela umrhwebi malunga nenkosikazi yakhe kunye nobudlelwane naye. Emva kokuba ufunde zonke iinkcukacha, uya kuphazamiseka ngakumbi.
Indlela yokusindiswa komntu?
Okokuqala, yibani nesibindi, yibani nesineke kwaye nixoxe ngale meko nomyeni wenu yodwa. Musa ukuphazamisa yakhe ingcaciso, cinga malunga nalapho wenza khona iphutha. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba ulungele ukuxolela zonke izinto zakhe!
Ukuziqhelanisa kubonisa ukuba umfazi unokuxolela uhlanga, kodwa ungalibali. Kwaye ngexesha lokuphikisana rhoqo ukuhlambalaza kuya kubakho umnqweno wokunyelisa umyeni wakhe.
Omnye umbuzo uhlala uvulekile. Indlela yokuseka ubudlelwane bezesondo? Ngokuqhelekileyo ibhinqa lizama ukubonisa kumyeni wayo ukuba liphosakele, kwaye lizigqithise ngesondo. Kwaye abanye abantu ngokuchaseneyo baziva bekhona ubukho bendoda elele embhedeni, bavalelwe ngokwabo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuba ngumthwalo kubo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, zama ukukhawuleza ukukhangela abantu. Jonga ukubonakala kwakho kunye neengubo, mamele xa efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, mncama kaninzi, yenza ikhaya elihle, nceda umntu wakho ngokutya okumnandi aze amxelele ukuba uyamthanda kakhulu.