Xa sifunda ulwimi olungabonakaliyo lwezandla ngexesha lokunxibelelana, siya kuqalisa ingxoxo kunye nokuhamba kwentloko yethu. Ngoko ke, ukuhamba ngokusisiseko kwentloko, edla ngokugqithiseleyo isimo sengqondo somntu kwiimeko ezithile, kukuxhomekeka okuxhasayo kunye nokugqithisa kakubi ukusuka kwelinye icala ukuya kwelinye. Ekubeni ihlala idonsa intloko emva kwaye ichaza ithetha "ewe," kwaye ukunyakaza kwayo ukusuka ecaleni kuya kwelinye icala kubonisa ukungavumelani okanye "cha." Lo mkhuba wokubonisa imvume yethu okanye ukuphika, ngokucacileyo siyazuza, ngelixa sisengabantwana.
Ngendlela, mhlawumbi uye wakhankanya ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho, xa uthetha nawe, uvakalisa isivumelwano sakhe somlomo, kodwa entliziyweni yakhe, eqinisweni, uyaqhankqalaza malunga nenye okanye enye yeengxelo zakhe. Kulula kakhulu ukujonga. Kufuneka uqaphele indlela umntu athi ngayo "ewe" kwaye ngeli xesha, ngokungazi kakuhle, uyigubungela intloko encinci, njengokungathi uyayiphika yonke ingentla. Nangona ilizwi livakala liyaneliseka, olu lwimi luyasitshela ngesimo sengqondo somntu esichaphazelekayo malunga nemeko. Ngoko, awudingi ukukholelwa oko kuye kwathiwa, kwaye isisombululo esona siphumelelo kukuba ufuna ukucacisa umbuzo.
Ngokubanzi, ukuze ufumane ukuba umnxibelelwano uyakuthatha unomdla, qaphela indlela aphethe ngayo intloko - ngqo okanye ayigxotha. Kwimeko yokuqala, into enjalo engaqondakaliyo ibonisa ukuba umchasi wakho akakuthandanga okanye kule ntlanganiso, incoko. Intloko ihlala ingashukumiyo kwimiba enjalo, i-nods encinci kuphela yenziwa rhoqo ngamaxesha. Kukunye, okuqhelekileyo kusetyenziswa isikhundla, xa umntu exhaswa ngakwesandla esinye. Ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho unamathele intloko yakhe encinci ngakwesobunxele, ibonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba unomdla omkhulu. Ukuba ngokuqhelekileyo kufuneka wenze ukubonakala kowamabala phambi kwabaphulaphuli abaninzi, qaphela ukuba kukho ukubonakaliswa kwezinto ezinjalo phakathi kwabaphulaphuli. Kule ndlela ungayinqumanisa ukuba uphulaphulwa kangakanani, kwaye umyalezo wakho unomdla kubo abaphulaphuli bommkeli wamanzi.
Ngendlela, into enomdla kukuba, ngoncedo lwentloko ethe tye, intombazana ihlala ibonisa umdla wabo kumntu onomdla kuye. Ngoko unako ukuthetha ngokukhuselekileyo ukuba akusiyo yonke into eyimfuneko yokudlala ngothando, ukudlala ngothando kunye nokuthetha kakhulu phambi komfana omhle. Udinga nje ukuthambisa intloko yakho kwaye umfana uya kuqaphela oko unomdla kuyo.
Kwimeko xa bethetha ngokuthe ngqo kuwe, kucetyiswa ukuba ugxininise intloko yakho kwicala kunye nexesha elizeleyo ukuxubusha kuyo - ukuze udibanise umnxibelelwano ngendlela efanelekileyo kwaye umbonise ukuba uyicingisise ngesihloko oxoxa ngaso.
Kodwa ukuba umntu othetha naye, intloko iyancipha - lo ngumqondiso wokuqala ofuna ukuba utshintshe ngokukhawuleza inkambo yencoko ngokwayo. Umdlali wakho nje akanakonwaba okanye ushaya into ethile ngeemvakalelo zakhe, ukumbeka kwindawo engathandekiyo.
Kwakhona isenzo esithandwa kakhulu sisenzo esinezandla ezibekwe emva kwentloko. Lo mqondiso ongaqondakali uhlala uthi ngaphambi kokuba ube ngumntu ozithemba kakhulu obeka phambili kuye kwabanye. Kodwa ukuba umntu uphonsa unyawo lwakhe emlenzeni ngesimo senombolo "4", uyazi, lo mntu akakwazi nje ukuthathwa "ngezandla zakhe." I-credo yakhe eyintloko kukuphikisana nayiphi na isihloko.
Ngoku ke masithi amagama ambalwa malunga nokuthintana xa kuthethwa, apho izandla zibandakanyeka khona. Ngendlela, ngokwesikhundla seentendelezo, umntu unokuqonda ukuba uthembekile kangakanani na umntu. Ukuba umntu uthetha inyaniso, ngokuqhelekileyo uvula okanye ayingcambu yakhe intendelezo kwi-interlocutor. Ukuba umntu unento yokufihla, uya kuzama zonke iindlela zokufihla izandla zakhe emapokothini akhe, emva emva kwakhe okanye awela phakathi kwabo.
Ngoko, makhe sijonge kwizenzo eziqhelekileyo ngezandla zakho uze ufumane ukuba zithetha ntoni. Izandla zithinta ubuso. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kubonisa ukuba umntu akaqinisekanga kunye nawe. Ukuba umntu uhlamba izandla, ngoko ulophawu lubonisa ukuba udibaniselwano unxibelelwano ngale ndlela ngendlela elindelekileyo yinto entle kule meko. Ukuba izandla zibekwe ngasemva, le nto, kwindawo yokuqala, ithetha ngento yokuba umntu uyazixabisa kakhulu ngaphakathi. Kodwa isenzo, xa izandla ezisele emva kwazo kwaye zikhiye ngokhiye, uthi umntu uphelelwe ngumsindo kwaye uzama ngazo zonke iindlela zokuzinqabisa. Ewe, ukuba umntu unezibonda zakhe eziwela esifubeni sakhe, oku kubonisa ukuba akavumelani nalo mazwi, nangona engabonakali ngamagama. Kule meko, kufuneka uzame ukufumana isizathu salo mzobo kwaye uhambise umnxibelelwano kwi-pose evulekile. Indlela elula neyona ndlela elula yokwenza umntu avule izandla zakhe iya kuba ukuba uyamnika into (ipeni, iphepha) ezandleni zakhe.
Kwaye ngoku ngamagama ambalwa ngemilenze, edlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuboniseni isimo sengqondo somntu. Ngoko, iwela imilenze nayo, njengoko kunjalo kwizandla, zithi umntu ukhusela okanye uvikela imbono yakhe kule ngxoxo.
Ukuba umnxibelelwano uhleli, ukuphosa unyawo ngenyawo, naye uwamkele izandla, khumbula ukuba phambi kwakho umntu onzima kunento ethile ekugqithiseni. Ungumuntu onzima kwaye onobungozi. Ukuqhuba incoko naye udinga indlela ekhethekileyo.
Ukuba uthetha umile, thobela ingqalelo yeenyawo zomnye umntu, nokuba kunjalo, ukuba zisetyenziswe njani. Ukuba zihanjiswe kwii-angles ezifanelekileyo neyakho, yazi ukuba lo mntu unomdla omkhulu kwaye uya kukuxhasa nayiphi na imbono yakho.
Ngoko sihlolisise impawu ezisisiseko zokunxibelelana. Khumbula ukuba ukwazi ulwimi lomzimba kakuhle, unokuziva ukhululekile nayiphi na ingxoxo kwaye uya kuqiniseka ukuba uyayiqonda.