Ukudibanisa amabini, nandipha, kodwa emva komtshato kunokufika ukukhahlela, ukucaphuka, ngenxa yoko, ukuphuka. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo?
Kubantu abaninzi, imbono yentsapho efanelekileyo isekelwe kwiimbono ezibulalayo kwaye eziphosakeleyo, ngoko ke, kulindeleke kumtshato ongunaphakade, bafumana kuphela ukuwa!
Abaninzi, xa bengena emtshatweni, abaqondi ukuba ubudlelwane bosapho bunomsebenzi owenza umonakalo emini nasemini kwaye uthando olunye alukwazi ukuya kude. Ngaphambi kokuba utshatile, akuyi kuba yinto engacingi ukuba ucinge ngezinto ezidibanisa ngaphandle koluthando, nokuba unemihlali kunye nemibono ebomini. Inyaniso yokuba ukuchaswa kukutsalwa ngumbono ophosakeleyo, kuba konke oku kusebenza kuphela kwisigaba sokuqala sobudlelwane, ngokude nje ufunda kunye nokungaqiniseki kwakho kufaka ukungaqhelekanga kobudlelwane bakho. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, oku kuya kubaphazamisa kuphela, kuba kuya kuba nzima kuwe ukuba ufumane amanqaku afanayo oqhagamshelwano. Ungathembeli kwinto yokuba umntu osondele kuwe uza kutshintsha izinto zokuzilibazisa okanye indlela yokuphila - akunakwenzeka ukulungisa umntu. Kunzima ukucinga ukuba umfazi wesifazane uya kwilabhula ebusuku ngenxa yokuba umyeni wakhe usetyenziswa ukuphila ngendlela efanayo (okanye ngokuphambene nayo). Inokwenzeka ukuba, umtshato onjalo uya kubhidlika emva kwexesha.
Kwaye nantoni na isondo ngeke sisindise! Umtshato awusekelwe kuphela kwi-physiology, kodwa kunye nobudlelwane bemiphefumlo, kwaye ngoko ukulala ngokwesini akusiyo inkululeko emtshatweni, kodwa kudibanisa kwaye kuyimfuneko yokongeza.
Musa ukulibala malunga nezinto eziphathekayo zobudlelwane bosapho. Uthando luthando, kodwa ubomi obungenakwenzeka ukuba lube yinto edibeneyo kwaye nantoni na into esenokuthi, imeko enemali yemali yentsapho ayibalulekanga.
Ngoko kuvela ukuba uthando lokwenene ngaphambi komtshato lufanele luxabiseke, kwaye ngomtshato umsebenze kuyo, uphucule kwaye ufunde ukwakha ubudlelwane. Kwaye xa sithetha ngothando lokwenene emva komtshato, ngoko ke into ephambili kukugcina ubudlelane obuhle: ukuthanda indlela oye wahlala ngayo, kodwa ubuncinci ukugcina zonke izinto ezilungileyo owake wazifumana ngexesha lomtshato. Amava angenakunqwenelekayo awuyi kufumana ndawo, ngoko yibonge ngale nto kwisiqingatha sakho sangaphambili!
Musa ukukhangela uthando lokwenene emva komtshato osemthethweni kulowo oye waqhekeza naye, zama ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye nokwethemba. Ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi, kumntu weqabane langaphambili, uya kufumana umhlobo othembekileyo! Phatha isiganeko njengesinyathelo esilandelayo, emva koko uza kunqoba amava kuphela, kodwa unethuba lokuqhubela phambili, ujonge ulonwabo. Kwaye kunye nomthwalo wokuhlambalazana kuya kuba nzima ngakumbi.
Uze ukhumbule: into ephambili akukuthi ukuba lo luyintando yinyani okanye ayikho, ngaphambi nangemva okanye ngexesha lomtshato osemthethweni - into eyona nto kukuthi kuwe umntu osondeleyo owawufuna (okanye ufuna) ukuba ube ngumphefumlo wakho! Yazisa oko unakho, ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho, kwaye ungathembeli kwixesha lokugqibela kwaye umbuzo wokuba unothando lwangaphambili ngaphambi nangemva komtshato oseburhulumenteni kunye nendlela yokugcina umtshato uya kuba yintetho! Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba unemibuzo emininzi oyicelayo, impendulo iya kuba yinye-uthando nothando! Ukuba uyamthanda okhethiweyo wakho, awuyi kukwazi ukulimaza lo mntu kwaye uzakuzama ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho, ukuphulaphula umbono weqabane lakho, kwaye oku kubaluleke kakhulu kwintsapho. Ukuzama nje ukuqonda omnye nomnye ungaya kwi-compromise.
Uthando lunemithetho yalo kunye nemithetho yalo! Yaye ukhalimela ngokukhawuleza ivila, ngoko ungakhohlwa ukuba ubomi akusiyo isimiso esonakalisa iimvakalelo, kodwa kuphela indlela yokumazana kunye nokucwina kwihlabathi lomntu othandekayo, sele uncibilike kuwo kwaye uba yincinci yalo !!!