Ukutshata okanye ukutshata nomntu omncinci, ngokuqhelekileyo ukuhlangabezana (okanye ukufihla) kwimiphumo "yeengxaki zempilo". Unokufumana ukuba yeyiphi imitshato engalinganiyo. Umda weminyaka engamashumi amane uphoxisa umntu, kungekhona ngokusoloko uqikelele, ukuba azalise iziphumo eziphambili zobomi bakhe. Xa iziphumo zithuthuzela, ngoko akukho nkathazo enjalo, umntu uyadlula ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ukuba "ubomi buye buthathaka", intsapho ayithandi (kunye neqabane ebudlelwaneni okanye ubuncwane bokuhlambalaza), ngoko-ke ukwesaba okukhulu "vula": into engazange iyenze, ayihlali ubomi bakhe, kodwa ulutsha, impilo kunye nobuhle kubuya. Uloyiko luyashukumisa umntu ukuba enze izenzo zokukhawuleza.
Ukuhlaziya umonakalo
Ngethuba lethu, inkolo yobutsha ikhula, kwaye abaninzi bethu namhlanje baqaphele imitshato engalinganiyo. Ukubonakala okungaqinisekiyo kunye nomzimba ohambelanayo zibonakalisa impumelelo. Indoda endala ehlabathini lethu ibonakala ngathi ayiyivuyo: "Ukuguga akusivuyo." Ngoko ke, abantu bazama ukugcina ubutsha babo ngamandla abo onke. Kwaye iqabane lomnye lingomnye "weengwe" zakhe. Ngenxa yoko, umdala kwisiqabane, uqala ukuhlala njengomyeni osemncinci, nangokwemvelo, nangokomzwelo, nangengqondo. Ukuba umfazi omncinane ubheka umyeni wakhe njengenkulu, okanye iqabane elincinci kumfazi, njengendlovukazi engenakufumana, oko kuya kuba ngumtshato ovuyayo. Kodwa kuphela phantsi kwimeko: "omncinci" nakweyiphi na imeko ayikwazi ukukhula, iya kuba yalingana. Emva koko, inkqubo leyo ishatyiswa, ngenxa yokuba umtshato onjalo, ngokwenene, wadalwa.
Iimeko zokuphumelela
Nawuphi na umanyano unokuba yimpumelelo kakhulu. Kwimitshato enjalo, "i-super-functional" kunye "engenakusebenza" ihlala ihlala kakuhle. Inokuxhalabisa imali, ubudala, isimo senhlalakahle. "Nedofunktsional" lonke ixesha ukuzama ukufumana into kwiqabane lakho, kwaye "i-superfunctional" izama ukuxelela nje. Umfana, umzekelo, unokufunda okuninzi kumfazi okhulileyo. Kubalulekile ukuba ukulinganisela kwamandla kugcinwe.
Inomdla
Ngokuqhelekileyo ukusebenzisana okunjalo kubonwa njengomtshato wokulula. Ukunyaniseka kweemvakalelo akunakuthenjwa. Kwintombi encinane ibona uAlfonso. Kwaye akukuphela nje kwimbono yabanye. Umfazi ophumelelayo ohlakaniphile kwaye uyaziqonda ukuba kule meko "ungumthengi": "Ndikunike imali yam, kodwa unika ukuzithemba, ulutsha, ubuhle." Ukuba utshata okanye utshatile umntu osisityebi, imali ibonwa njengenxalenye yayo. Kwaye kulo mzekelo, akanalo ilungelo lokulahlekelwa le mali. Ngako oko, ndingathanda ukuthetha ukuba imitshato engalinganiyo ngexesha lethu alimangalisi nabani na, ngoko ke, uninzi lweenkwenkwezi ze-pop zakhiwe kwimitshato engalinganiyo. Ukuba ungeyena osemncinci, iminyaka yakho ineminyaka engama-25 ubudala, kwaye ufuna ukugcina ubuhle bakho kunye nomtsalane kubantu abakujikelezile, ukutshata ngomtshato-ukungalingani komtshato kuya kwenza ukuba amaphupha azaliseke. Ukufumana ulonwabo kunye nokumncwina, ulutsha olungunaphakade luya kuba lula, kwaye umtshato ongalinganiyo uyindlela yokuphumelela kubantu abaninzi abantu abavuthiwe.