Ngokwesiko, umda wenguqu womntwana uneminyaka eyi-10 ukuya kwe-14. Ngeli xesha, iziganeko zesini zesini zikhula: iilki ze-pubic, umjikelezo wesini, uhlaza, ubuso bukhula. Abantwana nabo batshintsha ngaphakathi. Ubundlobongela obungenakushukunyiswa ngokubhekiselele kwabanye kwaye, ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ukuba nabazali babo bandise ngokukhawuleza. Abazali bafumana njani ixesha lokutshintsha kwengane? Ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kungenzeka, emva kokuba oogogo baxolise ukuba "ngexesha lethu lilunge", unokunqanda kwaye uye kwiingxabano ezinkulu ezizukulwaneni. Kodwa kulungile ukuqonda intombazana, umlinde, ubeke ukubeka kwindawo yakhe, uthathe iingxaki zakhe ngokungathandekiyo.
Abazali basinda njani kwiminyaka yenguqu yomntwana?
Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukukhumbula izinto ezikhethiweyo zeli xesha.
- Umntwana uyeka ukuba ngumntwana, kodwa akaba ngumdala. IiHormones, iimvakalelo, iimvakalelo zichitha. Iibilisa zobomi enesitshixo, kunzima ukuyiqonda kwiimeko apho kunokwenzeka ukuba uziphathe njengomntwana, kwintoni - njengomdala. Kukho ukuhlaziywa kwakhona kweemvakalelo kunye nemigangatho yamandulo. Kukho ukungalingani, ubunzima, umnqweno wokungafani nabanye abantu, kodwa, ngelo xesha, musa ukuphuma kwisihlwele seontanga zabo, abanombono wabo ubaluleke kakhulu. Yintoni abazali abayenzayo? Qhubeka uthanda nokumxhasa umntwana wakho.
- Ukomeleza ukuzimela nokuzimela, umnqweno wokukrazula ukunyamekelwa kwabazali kukhokelela ekuqhubheni. Emva kokuphumla, umntwana othobela ngoku uvikela umbono wakhe nangaliphi na indleko. Unako ukusabela ngenyameko nayiphi na ingcebiso awayeyilandela ngokupheleleyo. Ukuqonda umntwana kuyisinyathelo sokuqala ekujonganeni nale ngxaki. Simele sivume ukuba umntwana naye ungumntu onemibono yakhe ebomini, nokuba ngaba ngabazali. Makhe abe nelungelo kwizigqibo zakhe kunye nezenzo kunye nelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo. Musa ukukhawulela inkululeko yakhe, cinezela kuye, uzimisele uluhlu lweminqweno yakhe, ukunyanzelisa, umzekelo, endaweni yokuthetha nabahlobo ukudansa okanye ukubandakanya kumculo. Kungcono ufumane oko akuthandayo. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba sonke simele sivumele. Emva kwakho konke, ngexesha lokukhula, isiqhamo esinqatshelwe sithandeka. Intombazana inokuchitha ixesha kunye nenkampani engathandabuzekiyo, ubuyele phakathi kobusuku bobusuku, ukuthunga ucuba kunye notywala, endaweni yokufunda kwiibloko okanye kwicandelo, ukuphuhlisa ubuchule bakhe. Yintoni endiyenzayo kwimeko? Okokuqala, musa ukumemeza kwaye musa ukwenza ama-scandals. Thetha naye malunga nemiphumo enokwenzeka yezenzo ezinjalo, ngelixa ingagxininisekanga kwixesha elikude, kodwa ngoku. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba xa ukutshaya amazinyo kuphendulela okwephuzi kwaye iphunga elimnandi lisuka emlonyeni liyavela. Akuyimfuneko ukuvumela ukukhawuleza kunye nezinto ezikhohlakeleyo, makhele umgama othile obekwe ngumdala ukugcinwa phakathi kwakho.
- Iingxaki ezininzi zabantwana abakwishumi elivisayo ziqala ukungaboni, ngokukodwa xa kuzibandakanya ukuthotyelwa kwangaphandle kwimeko efanelekileyo. Kodwa akulula. Kwiminyaka eyi-12 ukuya kwe-15 kunomdla ongathandangayo ngesini esahlukileyo. Unyana unako ukuyeka ama-salad anyanisi ayithandayo aze ahlambe kathathu ngosuku, ukuze amantombazana amnake. Intombi iba ngumlingani womama, ekulweni kukayise ekuqinisekiseni ukuba naye ungumfazi. Kodwa ngexesha lokuvuthwa kukho iinguqu zenyama, ngenxa yoko "umntwana omhle" uba "ngudaka olubi". Iintlanzi malunga nokubukeka zibuhlungu kakhulu kubo. Ngoko ke, kufuneka sikhulise ukuzithemba komntwana osemtsha, ebhekiselele kwimpumelelo yakhe.
Uthando, ukuqonda kunye nomonde kuphela kuya kunceda abazali banqobe bonke ubunzima bexesha lokutshintsha kwabantwana.