Uphando luye lwacaca kuphela ulwalamano phakathi kwenani labantwana kunye nobude bobubomi babasetyhini. Ngaloo ndlela, kwafunyanwa ukuba umngcipheko omncinci wokufa kwangaphambili kwisini esilungileyo wazala umntwana oyedwa kwaba abathathu, ukufa okuphezulu ngenxa yokuhlaselwa koomama abakhulile abantwana abangaphezu kwe-5. Isizathu sokuba umzimba wesetyana ngexesha lokukhulelwa kunye nokubeletha kuthwala umthwalo, ukulahleka kwegazi ngokuqhelekileyo, iinkqubo ezivuthayo, ukuphazamiseka kwe-immunity, i-hormonal disorders. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, ukulungiswa kwithuba emva kokubeleka kunye nokuvuselelwa kuyimfuneko, kuthatha ixesha, kodwa kwintsapho enkulu oku akunakwenzeka. Kwaye ke, ukudibanisa intsapho, ikhaya kunye nomsebenzi akulula ukwenza. Ukuba sinokuqwalasela imeko ekhoyo kwihlabathi ngokubhekiselele kwimpilo yabasetyhini, imo kunye nemilinganiselo yokuhlala kumazwe amaninzi, sinokuqiniseka ngokuthi ukuzalwa akuyi kuba nemiphumo, kwaye yonke into ixhomekeke kubuntu bomzimba womfazi. Ngoko ke yintoni eyenza abafazi babele kuphela kanye, okanye bahambe ngokuphindaphindiweyo? Makhe sibone.
Ufuna kangakanani?
Ngokufanelekileyo, kuthatyathwa ukuba isizwe sethu asiqalanga ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza nokuzithemba, umfazi kufuneka abe nabantwana abathathu. Kodwa le nto imfundiso kunye namanani, kodwa ke ngoko yonke into iya kuba yintoni.
Ngoku kwamkelwa ukuba abantwana abathathu baninzi. Nangona kubomi obuqhelekileyo inani "abathathu" alibangeli loo mbutho nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ngako oko, abazali abazayo sele bebekwe ekuqaleni ukuba "abaninzi" abantwana abayifunayo. Enyanisweni, intsapho enkulu ngokwenene, sinokuqwalasela intsapho, ephakamisa ubuncinane ubuncinane ezintlanu. Kodwa ngoku kungaphezulu kokulawula.
Ngokusoloko kunzima ukuzalwa kokuqala kunye neemeko zempilo kumisa umfazi kwintliziyo yakhe yangaphambili ukuba abe neentsapho ezinkulu, ngamanye amaxesha kubangela ubunzima bezezimali, okanye zombini umfazi nomfazi.
Kwenzeka ukuba iintsapho ezinjalo zisenza isigqibo kwisibini. Kodwa ngaphambi kolu, bacinga ixesha elide, bahlaziywe ngamathuba abo, baxazulule iingxaki ngeengxaki zezindlu baze bahlalutye ngokuziphatha. Ingcamango yomntwana wesithathu, ukuba yenzayo, ayihlali ixesha elide. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ungathethi lonke uluntu oluhloniphekileyo, oluchaphazelayo. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo abazali abafuna ukuba nabantwana abathathu okanye ngaphezulu bavame ukufunyaniswa ukuba abanakho ngokupheleleyo. Emva koko, akubona wonke umntu onokuziqhayisa ngeemeko zemali ezilungileyo, kwaye engenazo iingxaki ezikhethekileyo zokukhula, ukuphakamisa nokufunda bonke abantwana. Isiphumo sinye-inani leentsapho ezinkulu ezifunekayo linciphisa.
Ufuna kangakanani?
Iingcali zenzululwazi zibeke phambili enye ingcamango enomdla kakhulu. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba yintokazi enye kuphela efunwa ngumfazi othanda ukuzingca. Kwaye njengoko kubonakala, lo mlingiso udla ngokuqhubekayo xa ungenalo ilifa, ngoko ke abazali abafundisayo. Ndiza kukucela ukuba uqaphele ngokukhawuleza ukuba le yintsapho apho banqume ngamabomu ukuzibophelela kumntwana omnye, kwaye abazange benze njalo ngenxa yempilo yabo kunye nezinye iimeko ezibalulekileyo. Ngaba oku kunjalo ngokwenene? Nanku ubungqina obuchanekileyo.
Ngoko, into yokuqala esiyiva kubazali abanomntwana munye: "Singakwazi ukubonelela abantwana / ubutsha / ukukhula / umntwana omnye kuphela. Ewe, kubonakala ngathi akukho nto yokukhononda ngayo. Wonke umntu ubala ngamathuba abo. Kodwa njengoko kubonisa ukubonisa, kunye kunye nokutyalomali kwazo zonke iindlela zabo, amandla, kunye neentsholongwane ezisuka kumntwana ziqala ukufuna iimbuyekezo eziphezulu. Abazali bafuna enye, inengqiqo, inhle, inamandla, iphumelele, njalo njalo. kunye m. umntwana. Ngelo xesha, ingqwalasela encinane ihlawulwa rhoqo kwizakhono kunye nezifiso zomntwana ngokwakhe. Ewe, kwaye umntwana akanalo mfuneko, into enokuyenza isigqibo kwaye uyayifisa, kuba wonke umntu ulungele ukwenza oko. Abazali bazama ukuqonda yonke into ngomntwana abangenakuyenza yedwa ngokwabo.
Awuzange uqaphele, amaxesha amaninzi xa umfazi esele ekhulile, eyazi indlela yokwenza umsebenzi othile wesilisa kakuhle, okanye ukujongana nento okanye isixhobo, ngokungaqhelekanga angaziwayo kunye nokudabuka kwizwi lakhe impendulo: "Ndandifuna nje inkwenkwana, ndazalelwa" . Nasi umzekelo ocacileyo wezinto ezithandwa ngabazali. Kule meko, abazali bahlala becala kakhulu ukungaphumeleli komntwana, kwaye abakwazi ukuwamkela ingcamango yokuba umntwana wabo akayiyo umntwana okanye u-Olympic iqhawe, kodwa ungumntwana oqhelekileyo.
Iyonke.
Xa "kubalwa" inani elifunayo labantwana abesifazana kufuneka babe nalo ngaphezu kwazo zonke izinto ezikhankanywe ngasentla, kufuneka kwakhona kuthathelwe ingqalelo nokuba ufuna ukuzinika ixesha elikhululekile okanye cha. Ukuba kunjalo, kufuneka kubekho ubuncinane ababini abantwana. Emva koko, umntwana ufuna ukunxibelelana rhoqo, kunye nokuqwalasela. Xa eye yedwa-into ebeya kufuna kuyo ukuzaliseka kwayo yonke imfuno yakhe, kuya kuba nabazali. Ukuba abantwana bebini, ngoko ke baninzi ixesha baya kudlala kunye, kukuvumela, uthathe imizuzu embalwa ukwenza oko ufuna okanye okufunayo. Kuya kuba okufanayo ukuba kukho abantwana abathathu okanye abane kwintsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngokubonakala kwesihlanu, imeko ayitshintshi kakhulu, njengoko yokuqala iya kukhula kuze kube ngeli xesha, kwaye iya kuba ngumncedisi opheleleyo. Kufuneka kwakhona kuthethwe ukuba abantwana abasuka kwimindeni emikhulu banomsebenzi okhutheleyo, abanomsebenzi kwaye ngekamva abayiki ubunzima bokuphila.
Kwaye ukuba awuyi kuhlaziywa kuzo zonke iintlobo ezigqithiseleyo, ngoko ke, akunakucingatha ukuba bangaphi abantwana abaza kuba neyona nto, into ephambili kukuba bonke bafanele baqeshwe kwaye bathande. Ubunzima bobunzima bebehlala bekhona, ingxaki yezindlu iza kuxazululwa iminyaka emininzi, kodwa uvuyo olwenziwa ngabantwana xa kuthelekiswa neengxaki kuthatha ixesha elifutshane. Nceda ngeli xesha, kwaye ungesabi ukulinda. Yaye ungakhohlwa ukuba abantwana lakho lizayo, ngoko unokufumana ithuba lokuziqhayisa.