Ngokwezigqibo zenzululwazi kunye noogqirha be-neuropathologists, ukunyaniseka kwezingane kungeyona nto kodwa kubonakaliswa kobugwenxa obushushu, umsindo, ukucaphukisa kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba. Ukuvutha komsindo kuhambelana nokukhala, ukukrakra, ukunyakaza okunyanisekileyo komzimba (iingalo, imilenze, intloko, i-trunk). Maxa wambi ngexesha lokushisa komntwana okhukhulayo, ubuso bubomvu kwaye buba buqhetseba. Iingxaki zobomi bokuba ngumntwana zingabonakali ukuhlangabezana neemfuno kunye neminqweno, abantwana abaninzi baxhamla kwiindawo eziqhelekileyo zokusetyenziswa, umzekelo, iivenkile, iimarike, izibhedlele, i-kindergartens. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukuvela kweendawo zokuhlaziya (iindawo zoluntu), abazali bazama ukuzolalisa umntwana ekumthobele kuyo yonke into, kodwa oku kuziphatha kakubi kakhulu kwabazali, kuba abantwana basebenzisa amahlazo kuphela ngenjongo yokufumana oko bafunayo kuphela phambi kobukeli.
Ngokukodwa abantwana abancinci kunye nabahlaziyiyo abahlali beziphatha kakuhle komntwana, nangona kunjalo, kukho ipesenti encinane yabantwana ababonakalisa oko kuthiwa bangamahlaya, bangabangelwa yindlala, bathathaka kwinkqubo yeentlanzi, ukungabikho kokulala, ukunyamezela, ukungahlali kakuhle, nomoya ongeyingozi kumzali ekhaya. Khumbula, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho unelisekile ngokwenyama.
Xa kukho ukungabikho komntwana ekhaya, abazali abaninzi basebenzisa indlela yokunciphisa umntwana, abadala bakhulisa ilizwi, bahlambalaza, basongela ukulimala, kwaye kwezinye iimeko baze batshayise abantwana babo. Indlela yokuphepha umzali ongalungileyo, ukuziphatha kwabazali kule meko? Impendulo ilula, okokuqala umzali kufuneka ahlalise, aphume kwelinye igumbi, aphephe ngokukhawuleza isiphepho, enze itiye kunye nento ehlekayo kuye, ubize umntwana okanye ufike wedwa, unikezele ukuhlamba uze uphuze impumlo yakho, thabathe incwadi yeengane zakho ezifunwayo uze ufunde kumntwana, kwaye xa iphosa itiye, yenza itiye nomntwana. Lapha uza kubona umntwana ngokwakhe uya kuzincama, kungekho nangayiphi na indlela ungamthobeli, musa ukucela ukuxolelwa.
Kwimiba yoogqirha kukhona inyaniso eqinisekisiwe yokuba abantwana abaneminyaka eli-1 ukuya kweyimihlanu baxhomekeke kwi-hysterical ne-hysterics. Abantwana abaneminyaka yobudala bekhululekile ngokukhululeka malunga nezinto ezikhuphayo, ngelixa baqonda ukuba abazali bayakhubekiswa, bahlawulwe okanye batywe iifomese. Xa ukhulisa umntwana, kufuneka uchaze kwaye ukhuthaze ukuziphatha kwakho ngokuqhelekileyo kule nto okanye kuloo meko, cacisa umntwana ukuba unokufezekisa injongo yakho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, umzekelo, ufanelwe, kwaye kungekhona ukuba ube noluncedo kwaye wenze amahlazo, ngenxa yokuba ukuziphatha kakubi akuyi kwenza into enhle. Kwakhona, xa ukhulisa umntwana wakho, kubalulekile ukuyiqonda kwaye uyamxabisa, ukuba awukwazi ukukhusela nokuzola ukutshatyalaliswa komntwana, qhagamshelana neengcali ezifanelekileyo eziza kunceda umntwana wakho kwaye aqonde omnye ngexesha. Emva koko, ukunganakwa nokunyanzeliswa kweemeko ezichaziweyo kungakhokelela kwimiphumo emibi kakhulu eya kubonakalisa ngokwabo ubudala obudala bomntwana.