Bantwana, la maPahiana amancinci, intuitively ufumana iintolo zabo-magama kwiindawo ezibuhlungu kakhulu. Kodwa kutheni sikhathazeke ngamazwi athi "Andikuthandi"? Ukuphulukiswa, ezinje ezinkulu. Ngethuba lonke lethu lehlabathi, sivuke, silile, njengokuba nathi sineminyaka emihlanu ubudala? Kwaye oko bafuna ukusixelela, besithi: "Mabi! Ngendawo! " ibhekiselele kwiintetho ezingaphezulu ezi-7 zezona zinto "ezikhohlakeleyo", ezichazwe kwaye "zichongiwe" zengqondo.
1. "Mama, ungekho!" La magama avezwa ngumama ngamnye ebomini bakhe (ukuba, ngokwenene, akayena u-sadist ophelele, oonyana bakhe baya kwi-tiptoe kwaye besaba "ngokungahambi" babheka abazali babo). Ngokudla kaninzi kwincinci yomntwana, bathetha oku kulandelayo: Andiyithandi into oyenzayo ngoku; Andivuyi ngokuziphatha kwakho; Ndiyadumala kuwe. Ngale binzana, ufuna ukufezekisa umphumo olula - ukuba abazali batshintsha indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Oko kukuthi, bavele baziphathe kakuhle.
AmaMama kweli binzana bavame ukuziva besongela indima yabo yabantwana. Emva koko, unina uhlala enomusa, kwaye ababi banomama, umkhwekazi kunye nabanye abantu. Ngako oko, umama udla "ehamba ngehashe elimhlophe" kwaye uqala ukukrakra ngokukrakra, okwandisa umphumo wale binzana elingentla. Kwaye kufuneka nje uthethe into elungileyo - yintoni enye ongayenza emva kwebinzana elinjalo. Umzekelo: "Andiyomsindo, ngamanye amaxesha ndiba nomsindo kuwe" okanye "Hayi, kungekhona okokubi, bekuya kuba kubi - ndiza ... (into ehlekisayo, ikhulule umoya)."
2. "Oo, mama, ungabi yi-la-la! (umama / utata, nqama ukulala!) ". Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe oku kungabonakali ubuqhophololo, qwalasela umyinge womntwana! Abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-5 ubudala bavame ukuphinda baphinda ngamanye amagama abantu, bengayiqondi intsingiselo yabo. Xa abantwana bemangalela uMama okanye ubaba wobuxoki, kunokubacaphukisa abazali. Kukho izizathu ezibini zezi. Okokuqala, umntwana uba malunga nathi "kwisikhundla" somdala, usihlolisise - kwaye uyasenzela ukuzithemba. Okwesibini, kukhwankqisa ngakumbi xa uqaphela ukuba umntwana ulungile kwinto ethile ukuba wakubamba inyaniso. Kule meko, zama ukuba ungamthukutheleli, kodwa utshintshe ukuziphatha kwakho. Oku kuyakha kakhudlwana kunokugweba umntwana wakho.
3. "Ewe, andiyi kuba sisisityebi njengokuba uneminyaka engama-18 (20, 30 ...)!" Okanye "Andiyisidenge njengaloo - ukuba ndichithe ubomi bam bonke njengonjineli kwipshini!" Ngamagama alo hlobo, ukuphuhliswa okwenene iintsuku ebomini babazali. La mazwi athukuthele kwaye ahlasele abantu abadala. Isizathu silula. Ukutsho oku, abantwana bexesha elithile bajika baba "ngabazali" babo kubazali baze bathathe indawo yokuhlola. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana "uyabetha" kwindawo echaphazelekayo.
Unina, oziqhenyayo ngomntwana wakhe kwaye uyavuya kukuba wabonakala xa eneminyaka eyi-18 kuphela, akunakwenzeka ukuba abe nengxaki enjalo. Kwaye, ngokukodwa, ibhinqa elivuma le binzana elithi "Ukuba andizalanga ngo-18, ngoko ...", kufuneka ulinde ukuphendula okufanelekileyo. Abantwana bafuna ukuba ngcono kunabantwana babo, yingakho baqhubisana nathi. Ukuze babe ngabanye, kufuneka babaleke ekuthinjweni kweziganeko zabazali. Ngokuqhelekileyo bayahlukana nathi "ngesikhumba nenyama": ngamanye amaxesha - ngokwabo, ngamanye amaxesha - abazali.
4. "Mama, le ingubo imfutshane kakhulu (lo mlomo ukhanya kakhulu)!" Okokuqala, la magama anenkinga. Umngeni kunomdla womama, umbono wakhe wefashini, isikhundla sakhe sokuphila. Esi sikhumbuzo sokuba imfihlo yobutsha obungunaphakade ayikho.
Abantwana bakhula kwaye bafuna indawo ebomini: ngamanye amaxesha bafuna iwabo, ngamanye amaxesha bazama ukuthatha omnye umntu. Kumele baphumelele ukuncintisana nabazali babo, baqine, baqinisekise ukuthanda kwabo, iingcamango, iimpawu. U-Akela ulahlekelwa ngumhla omnye. Emva koko, utshintsho lwesizukulwana luqhelekile.
Kodwa andifuni ukuyeka ngaphandle kokulwa nabazali bam. Imfazwe nabo idla ngokuqhutyelwa ngeendlela "zokugandelela". Kwaye ngoku, umama, ekhangeleka ejikelezileyo kwisibuko, uva inqaku lokubulala malunga neengubo ezimfutshane kakhulu-kwaye ngomzuzwana ulahlekelwa iilazi ezibomvu. Ubona isikhumba sakhe esele sineziqhaqho kunye namanxiko anamathele okhalweni. Ukutshatyalaliswa kwemizwelo yakhe, ukhetha ngokubuhlungu: ukuzivikela, ukubuyisela kumntwana, okanye ukukhathazeka ngokuzenzekelayo ngaye ...
Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bangacacanga, ngamanye amaxesha amazwi abo ayenzi kakuhle. Kodwa kusekuhle ukuthetha ngokuzolile nomntwana malunga nendlela osabela ngayo kweli binzana. Ngexesha elifanayo kwaye uqonde oko kuthetha ntoni kuwe. Ngamanye amaxesha eli binzana liyisibuko sokugxekwa kwangaphambili kubazali: "Le tattoo iyatshatyalaza", "Ukubhobhoza kukuhlaziyekile," "Ukhohlakele". Abantwana emva koko, umntu ufunda. Cinga malunga nokuba wena ngokwakho unzima kakhulu kubantwana bakho ...
5. "Ndiya kukushiya! (Andiyi kuphila nawe!) "La magama abonisa umnqweno womntwana ukuba azidele kubazali bakhe. Xa abazali besondelene kakhulu okanye bekude, banakekelwa okanye bangakhathazeki nonke, ukulawula okungakumbi okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, bangayithobeli, umntwana unomsindo, ukucaphuka, ukucaphuka. Ibinzana elingasentla yindlela azama ngayo ukwazisa abazali bakhe ukuba uyagula, unzima, uyedwa, okanye uyazixhamla "uthando" olunzulu. Zama ukuqonda ukuba yeyiphi imfuno yengane esekelwe kule binzana, ngeyiphi imvakalelo ayithethileyo.
6. "Andikuthandi kwakhona" Ukubonakala komsindo kumzali. Ngokuqhelekileyo kuyenzeka xa umntwana ebonakala ukuba akaqondi kwaye akayithandi. Indlela elula yokugwema intlungu kukujika yonke into. Xelela umzali ukuba ngokwenene lo mntwana akayithandi. Kwakhona yindlela yokwenza intlungu - enye umntwana evakalelwa xa ecinga ukuba uyayinqatshwa. Kwimpilo yabazali kukho iindlela ezininzi zokwenza oku - ngakumbi ukudumisa umzalwana okanye udade ukuthelekisa nomntwana oontanga abaphumelele, soloko efuna ubulungisa bakhe ...
Umntwana akanalo iindlela ezininzi zokutsala ingqalelo kwaye aqinisekise ukuba ixabiso lakhe kubazali. Emva koko, abaninzi abazali "baqaphele" abantwana kuphela xa "benze into". Ngako oko inqaku elithi "andikuthandi" liyiqonga elinamandla lokuphathwa ngumzali. Uguqukile? Ngaba uya kubona? Ngaba iya kutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha? Uya kuthi ibinzana elichanekileyo: "Kodwa ndiyakuthanda kakhulu!" Okanye?
Ukuba umntwana uthetha eli binzana kwaye uneminyaka engaphezu kwe-7 ubudala-zama ukuthetha naye. Kutheni a kunjalo? Kwenzekani? Ufuna ntoni? Oku kusebenza ngakumbi kunokuba ubonwe ngokukhawuleza okanye ubonise ubugwenxa ngokuphendula.
7. "Awuthandi! (Awuqondi mna!) "Yonke le mizamo efanayo yomntwana ukwazisa abazali ngokungahambi kakuhle kwabo, iimfuno zabo ezingagqibekanga. Abantwana badinga ukunxibelelana, ukufudumala, ububele. Umntwana ngamanye amaxesha kubalulekile ukuba umzali "uqikelele" isimo sakhe esibi, ukukhathazeka kwakhe kunye nokungabaza. Unyana uthi: "Ndiyadabuka," kunye noyise ngokukrakra: "Cinga ngemviwo - kuya kuba mnandi." Umntwana unengxaki yokuthetha, kwaye umzali kuye: "Umele uxanduva" ...
Ukuqonda kuyinto talente, kwaye awuzange uzalwe nale talente, kufuneka uyihlakulele. Zama ukuqonda oko umntwana wakho akufunayo, into efuna kakhulu, kunye nendlela onokumnceda ngayo. Enyanisweni, kuya kuba nezinye ezininzi iintsuku ezibucayi ebomini babazali - ukunyaniseka, ukunyaniseka, nokuba noburhalarhume babantwana babo badibana nayo endleleni yeyiphi na yethu. Ngaphantsi cinga ngeliphi na eli binzana elingathethi, kodwa phulaphulaphula ngakumbi umntwana wakho ngentliziyo yakho. Oku kuphela kukuvumela ukuba uqaphele iimeko xa ufuna uncedo lwakho, ukunakekelwa nothando.