Kodwa amaxesha adlulayo kwaye iimpawu ziya kutshintsha, ngoku umfazi ozimeleyo, unamalungelo afanayo kunye nemisebenzi njengamadoda, kwaye akathuli xa ephulwa, kwaye unokukwazi nokukhusela umbono wakhe. Kodwa kunjalo, kwinqanaba lomzimba, indoda isoloko iyaziqhayisa ngaphezu komfazi, ebonakalisa kwizenzo zakhe nangamazwi akhe. Ngenxa yoko, kukho iimeko xa iingxabano zithatha loo mlinganiso wehlabathi jikelele, kwaye kule mpi umfazi kufuneka avelise, kuba nje ukubonisa ukuba umyeni wakhe uphosakele kubonakala kungenangqondo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, akukho ukukrokra, okanye ukuhlambalaza, okanye izicelo ziyanceda, nokuba kunjani na umphumo omnye-ulungile, kwaye ingongoma.
Kutheni?
Ewe, emva kokukhusela okunjalo, into yokuqala efika kuyo yonke intokazi entloko ngumbuzo ongunaphakade "kutheni?". Ngale ndlela, bahlala bezama ukufumana impendulo, okanye ubuncinci benkcazo, isizathu sokuba umntu azinokumisela izenzo zendoda kunye nokuqiniseka kwakhe ngokuchanekileyo. Kwaye ngokusondela kwethu kufumaneka kwiinkcukacha, ngokuqhelekileyo sipheqela kwimeko efanayo kwintloko, ngakumbi siqonda ukuba sasilungile, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo ukulungiswa kwethu kwinto enqabileyo.
Olu hlobo luya kuchazwa ngeendlela ezininzi. Okokuqala ngumlingiswa. Nantoni na into ongayithetha, umlinganiso wenza umntu ukuba yintoni. Yaye ukuba uhlobo lobunzima, ukucacisa ubudlelwane nomntu onjalo kufuna umzamo. Kodwa kukho uhlangothi olungileyo, umlingiswa unokuhlala elungiswa. Oku kufuna umonde, indlela kunye nomnqweno womnini wale mpawu enenkani. Ngaphandle komnqweno, kulula ukudibanisa, kwaye uya kulungelelanisa nobomi obunjalo.
Inketho yesibini malunga nokuziphatha okunjalo kunokuyikopisha umtshato wentsapho yakhe. Ukuba uhlala endlwini, uyise wayenoloko ephethe igama lokugqibela, kwaye unina wayengaphantsi kwintando yakhe kwaye wayeyicinga ukuba iyinto evamile - kuba kutheni umangaliswe. Ukujonga abazali bethu, siyaqaphela ngokucophelela indlela yokuziphatha, ezayo ekubonakalweni kwintsapho yethu. Ngoko ke, kwimeko enjalo, unalo ithuba lokufezekisa iinjongo zakho ngokuthetha, okanye uthathe isikhundla sikanina.
Yaye isizathu sesithathu, sidinga ukucinga kunye nomgudu. Emva kwakho konke, mhlawumbi ungazange ucinge, ukhetho olunjalo apho ukuchaneka kwendoda kwakuyinyani, kungekhona nje isiqhamo sesicinga sakhe. Kule meko, endaweni yokubonakalisa kumyeni ukuba akalungile, kungcono ukuphulaphula umbono wakhe, ukongeze ngokwakhe, kwaye ufumane ingcamango.
Wena kum, kwaye mna kuwe.
Phakathi kwabesetyhini kukho enye inkolelo enokuthi ichazwe ngokomfanekiso ngokuthi "wena kum, kwaye mna". Ingundoqo yinto yokuba ukuba umfazi ukhawuleza waya kumyeni wakhe kwinto ethile, ngoko ngenxa yezizathu ezingaziwa, uyaqiniseka ukuba ngexesha elizayo uzimisele ukuba anike kuye. Ukususela kumbono wabantu, loo mvume ayiyonto enkulu kwaye ayithwali nayiphi na ityala. Kwaye awunenjongo yokuzibophelela kuwe uxanduva lokuyeka ukuthanda kwakho. Iimeko ezikhethekileyo xa umntu ozithandayo okanye ukungafuni ukungena kwimpikiswano uya kuvuma nomfazi wakhe. Kwaye isizathu salo siya kuba ngumnqweno wakhe kuphela, okanye uhlobo oluthile lokuthintela ngokomoya, kakuhle, kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, ubuvila, kodwa kungekhona into owake wachasa ngayo.
Uya kufunda ukuva.
Kwiimeko apho ubunzima bomnye, abukwazi ukubangela ukunyaniseka komnye, kwaye ukhubekise inkani enjalo, nawuphi na umntu ochaphazelekayo, okanye ukuqonda, kufuneka. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuba umyeni uqinisekile ukuba ulungile, kwaye akafuni ukuva nantoni na enye, umfazi kufuneka aphendule ubulumko bakhe bentombi. Ungayifumana indlela kunoma yimuphi umntu, kukho iimeko kuphela xa kunzima ukwenza, kodwa kunokwenzeka. Okokuqala, funda ukuva umyeni wakho. Hayi, kucacile ukuba ngokuva kwakho wenza kakuhle, kwaye ukubonisa uluvo lwakho, umyeni wakho, ngokuqinisekileyo, akazithembi kuye ekhaleni. Nantsi imbono yokuva iyasetyenziswa kakhulu, njengokwazi ukuqonda intsingiselo yento ekuthethwe ngayo, ukukwazi ukuqonda umntu kunye nokuvavanya ngokuvisayo oko kuvezwe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngokuqhelekileyo, kubangela ubunzima bokuqala kuqala, kuba xa uqala ukuhlaziya yonke into ebhaliweyo, kuvela ukuba akukho nto ishiwo. Oku kwenzeka ngokukodwa xa umntu engabonakali kakuhle iingcamango zakhe kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo uqikelele ukuba unxibelelwano. Ngenxa yoko, ukuqwalasela kwakhelwe kwiingcamango zabo, kodwa "bangaphi abantu, iimbono ezininzi". Ngoko kuvela ukuba nedoskazal enye, okwesibini ayiqondakaliyo, nganye iyodwa, kwaye ngenxa yoko-inkohlakalo.
Funda ukuthetha.
Ulwimi lwethu luninzi kwaye luhlu, oluvumela ukuba sikwazi ukuvakalisa iingcamango zethu ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwaye sichaze izenzo ezifanayo. Oku kwenza ukuba intetho eqhelekileyo isomile, yongeze imibala yegama. Kodwa kule nkalo kukho nendawo engalunganga. Amathuba anjalo avumela abantu ababini ukuba bathethe ngento enye baze bangayiqondi into ekhoyo. Ukuba ufunde ukuva umyeni wakho, kwaye ufuna ukukuva - funda ukuthetha ngokuchanekileyo. Ukuvakalisa iingcinga zakho ngokuzithemba, kwaye ukuze ungayiqondi kakuhle. Izwi elikhuni nelithembekileyo lokubhaliweyo liya kwenza umnxibelelwano uthule aze alalele. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kuphulaphulwa, kwaye emva koko umbuzo wendlela onokubonisa ngayo umyeni wakho ukuba uphosakele.
Ewe, kukho iimeko xa zonke iindlela zingasebenzi kwaye abantu abanako ukufikelela. Isizathu salo sinokuthi: ukuzinqabisa, ubunzima, ukungafuni ukuva nantoni na enye, kunye nokuqinisekiswa okufanayo kwe-100% yokufaneleka komntu. Ukuba unaloo nto, ngoko uyazi ukuba ingxaki inzulu kakhulu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha idinga nokuba uncedo lobuchwepheshe. Unokuzama nje ukuzithoba, uphumelele kumntu, uvume ukungalunganga kwakho, kwaye ube nomonde. Ngamanye amaxesha le meko yenza abafazi bacinge malunga nokuba baya kukwazi ukuphila ubomi apho "i-" yabo iya kupheliswa ngaphandle kwesicwangciso sesibini okanye lonke ixesha ukubonisa ukuba umyeni akafanelekanga. Oko ukhetha kukufikelela kuwe.