Indlela yokujonga ukuba umfana wakho uthembekile

Othandekayo akufanele abe yingxenye yentliziyo yomfazi nomphefumlo, othetha ngothando, unikela ububele kunye novuyo. Ukongeza, umntu kufuneka abe ngumkhuseli kunye nomncedisi, oya kukwazi ukukhusela ebunzima bokuphila aze akhusele nayiphi na imeko. Yingakho, xa sikhulile, sikwazi ukucinga ngakumbi: ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane ukuba umfana osele nawe unokwethenjelwa? Malunga nendlela umntu onokuthenjwa ngayo, okokuqala, uthetha ngezenzo zakhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, yonke insizwa inomdla wayo kunye nemibono ebomini, kodwa ezinye izinto kufuneka zenziwe ngumntu oxabisa intombi yakhe. Kulo mbuzo: njani ukujonga ukuba umfana wakho uthembekile, kukho iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo ezifanelekileyo malunga nantoni na.

Ngoko, indlela yokuchonga: ngaba abantu bakho abatsha banokwethenjelwa? Okokuqala, kufuneka ucinge. Sithetha ntoni "ngokuthenjwa"? Xa usemncinci, ubomi buhlala bubonakala bubala, bunemibala kwaye bukhathazekile, kodwa. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, xa ubulumko bemihla ngemihla buza, abantu abaninzi abanamava bayazi ukuba iimpazamo zobutsha, ngoku zihlawulela ngemitshato engonwabileyo kunye neentlungu. Yingakho kungcono kwiminyaka emincinci ukuba uhlolisise ngokukhawuleza imeko leyo kwaye uqinisekise ukuba umntu onoxanduva luni kwaye unokulindela ntoni kwixesha elizayo.

Ngoko, yintoni efunekayo kuyo yonke intsapho? Ukongeza kwintando kunye nothando, oku, ngokuqinisekileyo, izindlu. Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, akulula ukufumana indlu yakho. Akunjalo wonke umntu uyavuma ukuhlala nabazali bakhe. Yingakho kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba iqabane lakho liyakwazi ukuhlawula irente. Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ngokukhawuleza ukuba oku akuthethi ukuba yonke into yokuba umfana kufuneka abe nemali eninzi, kodwa awuyi kwenza nantoni na. Enyanisweni, ngokubhekiselele kwinto enokwethenjelwa, kuqinisekiswe, okokuqala, ngentando yokufunda. Thola umsebenzi ofanelekileyo kwaye ufumane umsebenzi ohlawulelwayo. Kuphela umntu onobuqili uya kuba nako ukubonelela ngokufanelekileyo intsapho yakhe, kwaye akayi kulambile kwindlu yokuhlala ebandayo. Ukuba ubona ukuba nangona umfundi wakho othandekayo ezama ukusebenzela kwindawo ethile, uzama ukufumana ithuba kumfundi wakhe iminyaka ukuze athole umsebenzi ohloniphekileyo, unokubonelela ubomi obuqhelekileyo ubuncinane kuye, ngoko unokuthiwa kuthiwa unokwethenjelwa ngokufanelekileyo ukuhlala kunye .

Ukongezelela, intsha ethembekileyo ayiyi kusebenzisa kakubi utywala. Ewe, oku akuthethi ukuba akapheli ngokupheleleyo. Kunoko, uthi umfana uhlala eyazi umlinganiselo kwaye akayi kuchitha imali eyongezelelweyo. Umfana onjalo uhlukaniswe ngokucacileyo, ungakanani uchitha ixesha lokuzonwabisa nokuzonwabisa, kwaye uninzi kangakanani omele uhambe ukuhlawula izibonelelo, ukurenta indlu, ukuthenga ukutya nokunye okunjalo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, esinye isibonakaliso sokuthembeka kukukwazi ukuzimela wena kunye nomntu othandekayo. Akuyimfuneko ukuba umntu osemncinci abe ngumyili womzimba aze atyhuse amanxeba kuyo yonke ikona. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba unesaba ukuhamba naye kwiindawo ezimnyama kwaye ukusuka kwesinye isiqhwala sokukhanya, sele kubalulekile ukucinga ukuba uya kukwazi ukukhusela intsapho yakhe nangayiphi na ingxaki.

Abesifazane abaninzi banamathemba abo madoda abasoloko beyazi indlela yokujonga imeko kwaye bathathe uxanduva. Esi sibonakaliso esilandelayo sokuthembeka. Nabani na, nokuba yindoda enamandla kunabo bonke, efuna ukuziva ephosakeleyo kunye nobumnene, ukhululeke kuzo zonke iingxaki, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo uqiniseke ukuba umntu uya kukwazi ukucombulula iingxaki zakhe ngekhulu leepesenti. Amadoda abacinga nokuthetha ngaphezu koko akwenzayo, ayithembekanga ngokwaneleyo ukuba abe nolwalamano olunzulu. Yaye oku akusoloko iphoso labo. Isizathu salokhu sinokuba yinkimbinkimbi, uhlobo lobume kunye nokunye okuninzi. Apha intombazana ngokwayo idinga ukugqiba ukuba ingaba ifuna ukuba ngumntu onjalo.

Ukunyaniseka kusekho rhoqo, kuyinto efanayo nomsebenzi. Umfana ozenza ngathi unokwethenjelwa, akayi kukhawuleza ezintlanganisweni, azikhohlwe ngezithembiso zakhe, angawahoyi izicelo kunye neengcamango ezivela kwihlabathi, endaweni yokuthatha isigqibo. Umntu onokwethenjelwa unokuncedisa yena nabanye, ngokuchanekileyo banike ixesha kwaye ungalokothi ulibale ngeli thembiso. Ukuba umfana wakho ubalekele ukwenza oko akumele akwenze, kwaye ukuba kukho ukungqubuzana komdla, ufanelekile ukuba acinge ngqalelo uxanduva lwakhe. Ngendlela, oku kuziphatha akusoloko kuthatha isimo esibi nesimo sengqondo esibi. Kodwa phantse njalo ithetha ubuthathaka bomntu kunye nokungakwazi ukuthatha uxanduva kwizenzo nezigqibo.

Ngendlela, inembopheleleko kunye nesimo sengqondo esinzulu kwiinkalo ezithile zobomi ezenza indima ebalulekileyo kubantombazana abaninzi. Inyaniso kukuba kule ngxaki, ngokungaqondi, sicinga ukuba luhlobo luni loba ngubani oya kuba ngabantwana bethu? Ngaba uya kuba nako ukunyamekela umntwana, amfundise yonke into ayifunayo, afundise kakuhle kwaye atyale umphefumlo wakhe. Ukuba ibhinqa ayinayo le ntliziyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba lunothando olunzulu kangakanani, kungcono ukuba ungayidibanisa nobomi bakhe kunye nomfana onjalo, kuba iimvakalelo ziza kukhawuleza zibe zizihlazo ezibangelwa zizizathu zokungaziphenduleli kunye nesimo sengqondo sokukhathalela ubomi.

Kakade ke, zonke iintombazana zinelungelo lokugqiba uhlobo luni lomfana ofuna ukubopha isiphephelo sakhe. Kukho abafazi abaqinileyo abanokuqonda ukuba umntu othandayo akafanelekanga, kodwa balungele ukunyamezela kunye nokuxazulula zonke iingxaki ngokuzimeleyo, ukuba nje wayemthanda, waxabisa kwaye wayesondele. Ukuba ungowolu hlobo, ke ungakhathazeki ukuba iqabane lakho lingahambi kwiindawo ezininzi. Kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba uphendule ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba okanye ungenawo umntu onjalo ubomi bakho bonke.

Ewe, ukuba ufuna ukuba nomkhuseli osondeleyo kuwe, intloko yangempela yentsapho iya kuthatha zonke izigqibo ezithatha uxanduva, ngoko uqonda ukuba umfana osondeleyo akukho konke okunokwethenjelwa, kungcono ukunqumla ubudlelwane ngexesha okanye ukuzama ukwenza ukuba utshintshe ukuphucula.