Akukho mfuneko yokuba nethemba lokuba amadoda anqabileyo awanamathele kumamazana abatshatileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba ngokuchaseneyo, oku kukukhanga amadoda. Bakholelwa ukuba ibhinqa elinomngci womtshato sele lihlolwe yindoda ethile kwaye ngenxa yoko, unako ukukhupha "uvuse" into ethile naye. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba umntu ungumchasi womtshato, kuthetha ukuba umfazi otshatileyo akayi kudibana nenkululeko. Ngoko, umjikelo wegolide kumunwe awuyi kukusindisa ekuthandweni okugqithisileyo komntu ongathandekiyo.
Kule meko, kuyisidenge kakhulu ukuba nethemba lokuba inkwenkwe iya kuqonda iziphakamiso kwaye izakukhokelela kwiimpawu zangaphandle, ziya kuphinda ziwe. Apha kufuneka usebenze ngokucacileyo kwaye ngokucacileyo kwaye ke ngoko unako ukukhawuleza kwaye ukhawuleze ukulahla umntu okhulayo. Ngoku unokuqwalasela iinketho ezininzi, indlela yokulahla ngokukhawuleza:
Thetha ngomyeni wakho ngaphandle kokuyeka. Amadoda akayi kuthanda into yokuba uya kuthetha ngenye into. Ndixelele, indlela enhle neyobuqili, inamandla kwaye ingenakunqweneleka. Ndikholelwe, oku kusebenza kakuhle. Kwaye ungaqala ukumbuza malunga nosapho, ngaphandle kokuba utshatile. Oku kusebenze nakwabantu ababi ngaphezu kwebhakethi yamanzi abandayo entloko. Ukukhunjulwa komfazi nabantwana, kuya kuvumela ukuba iqabane lifike kwiintliziyo zakhe, njengomthetho. Khumbula ilizwi elithi umntu akanakucinga ngeentloko ezimbini ngelo xesha? Ngoko, ukukrazula inkampani enokuzikhusela, ungathetha naye kwiingxaki ezinzima, kwifilosofi. Ewe, ukuba kukho isihloko esithandayo, ngoko unako ukuxhuma kwingxoxo kunye nengqondo yakhe iya kubuya kwindawo yakhe. Emva koko, okubaluleke kakhulu, qhubela phambili incoko de loo mntu ixhalabisa ukuthetha nawe, ngoko unokukwazi ukuthetha, ngenxa yokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu uya kulibala into ayifunayo kuwe. Kwaye kukho iindlela ezinje ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngaphandle kwengxoxo engadingekiyo ukuthusa indoda engadingiyo:
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Musa ukujonga umntu. Unokujonga ngaphi na, kodwa kungekhona kuye. Xa uthetha, jonga kude, zama ukuthetha ngaphandle kokumjonga. Uloyikisa. Ngokukhawuleza.
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Okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, mkhangele njengaye, ngokwenene "uyidle" ngamehlo akhe. Musa nje ukutshisa umdla, kufuneka ukhangele ngokungenakunqunywa. Indoda kufuneka ibe neentloni kwaye, mhlawumbi, yikisa.
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Kwivenkile yokutyela okanye i-cafe ufuna ezininzi ukutya. Amadoda ayesolokoyika, abafazi badla kakhulu. Okokuqala, kufuneka bahlawulelwe, kwaye okwesibini, ibhinqa liyakwazi ukubuyela, ukuba ngamadoda ngandlela-thile ayithandi kakhulu.
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Kufuneka uzame ukusebenza, kuba la mabhinqa ayesaba abantu. Nangona, bahlonishwa ngokunyanisekileyo. Kodwa, ukuba loo ndoda ngokwayo yinto encinci, akayi kuqhagamshelana nomfazi onamandla ngaphezu kwakhe. Le nyaniso.
Kodwa, kukho amadoda kuwo onke la macala awasebenzanga, ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda anako ukufumana umntu kunye nolunye umfazi. Ndingenza ntoni? Cinga, ngaba ufuna ngokwenene ukukrazula umntu osweleyo? Ukuba awunayo indoda, kwaye ngubani oza kuwe akasatshatanga? Vumela xa ungamthandi, kodwa mhlawumbi, emva kokumqonda umntu, iimvakalelo ezizenzekelayo ziya kusondela ngakumbi? Mhlawumbi lo unamathele kwaye uyisiphelo sakho? Jonga ngokukhawuleza.
Ukuba, ekhaya, umyeni wakho nabantwana balinde wena, ukuba awuyi kutshintsha indoda yakho ethandekayo, sebenzisa ngokukhuselekileyo ekusebenzeni oko kuchazwe ngasentla kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ezi ndlela zisebenza ngokuthe ngqo.