Enyanisweni, iingcebiso, indlela yokuziphatha ngokuchanekileyo, xa usityholwa kwaye awunecala, zilula. Ngoko ke, ukuba usityholwa into ongayenzanga, okokuqala wanquma, ngoko ukwenza ngenjongo enobungozi, okanye abantu benza impazamo. Ukuba utyholwa ngokungalunganga, ke kufuneka ugcine engqondweni ukuba kulula ukuba umntu enze unetyala. Indlela yokwenza ntoni kulo mzekelo? Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukufumanisa ukuba ngubani omele uxanduva lwento eyenzekayo. Kuphela ukuba unobungqina obuqinileyo, uya kuba nako ukuma kumangaleli. Kungenzeka ukuba, ukugxeka umntu ongenetyala, umntu ufuna ukuzikhusela okanye ngokumangalela umntu. Enyanisweni, ubunzima bento enjalo buhluke kakhulu. Ngako-ke abanobukhwele banokuza bafuna ukuthatha othandekayo wakho kuwe, abasebenzi abanobukhwele abacaphukisa ukuba umphathi uyakuthanda ngaphezu kwabanye okanye abaphiswano abafuna ukuba uyeke. Kodwa, nangayiphi na imeko, abantu baqala ukuziphatha ngale ndlela, beka injongo yakho yokubhujiswa kokuziphatha okanye izinto eziphathekayo. Unokuzikhusela njani kwaye uziphathe ngokuchanekileyo kwimeko enjalo?
Okokuqala, eduze kwakho kufuneka kubekho abantu abathembekileyo abaya kukwazi ukukuxhasa nokukhusela nayiphi na imeko. Kodwa, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba aba bantu abanakukungcatsha, kwaye abayi kulwa kumacala amabini. Ukuba uzama ukutshintsha kwaye wenze njalo ngaphezu kosuku olunye, ngoko omnye umhlobo wakho osenyongweni unokuzama, oko kuthetha, "ukungena kwintsimi yintsimi" kwaye ufumane isizathu sokuba bafune ukukufaka endaweni, kwaye kwakhona ubungqina. Kodwa, nangona kungenakwenzeka ukwenza oku, abantu abasondeleyo kufuneka bahlale beqinisekisa amagama akho, ewe, ukuba ayinyaniso. Musa ukulala kunye nesihlwele sonke, kuba, ngoko, xa yonke into ibonakalisiwe, abayi kukholwa kuphela wena, kodwa nabahlobo bakho.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, kuphela amagama angasetyenziswa kwintlawulo. Kwaye ke, kubaluleke kakhulu, ukwazi ukuphendula ngamagama ngokuchanekileyo. Okokuqala, musa ukumemeza uze uqale ukugxeka lo mntu ngokunyelisa. Enyanisweni, ufuna kuphela oku. Ukuba umntu uyiswa kwi-hysteria, uyayeka ukucinga ngokufanelekileyo kwaye aphikise amazwi akhe. Ngoko ke, xa usityholwa, musa ukukhawuleza, memeza umntu kwaye umemele ukuba uhlehlisiwe. Kunoko, kulungile ukuphulaphula ngokucophelela. Kubuxoki kukho iindawo ezihlala "zigqotswe ngomtya omhlophe". Ukuba uyazibona ngexesha, ngoko unokuzigweba ngesithunzi. Ngako oko, akukho nto inokuphazamisa ummangaleli wakho. Mamela kuyo ekupheleni, kwaye uze uqale ukudweba naziphi na izigqibo. Ukuba uyazi ukuba akanakubukho ubungqina obubonakalayo bokuqinisekisa ubungqina bakho, ngoko unokwenza lula ngokulula kwaye ungenanto ityala. Kodwa, ngenxa yale nto kufuneka uhlale ukhululekile kwaye ubanda. Ukuba uqala ukuthukuthela, hlala, unciphisa amehlo uze uveke, abantu bafumanisa ukuba wenza njalo ngenxa yokuba uyazi malunga nephutha lakho kwaye ngoku, uzama ukufihla ngandlela-thile, kodwa awufumani nantoni na eyenziwe. Ngoko ke, nangona kunjalo, musa ukuzivumela ukuba ube neentloni. Nangona ufuna nje ukumbambisa umenzi ongezandla ngezandla zakho, ungaze uzame ukubonisa. Ukuba umntu ubona ukuba uye wakhupha umntu ngomzwelo, uya kusebenzisa ngoku. Ngoko ke, akufanele uvumele le nto.
Kwakhona, akufanele uphethe izizathu. Xa umntu eqala ukuthetha ngento engazange akwaziyo kwaye akakwazi ukwenza nantoni na loo nto, ngoko amagama akhe akayiqondi into eyinyani neyinyaniso. Kwiimeko apho usityholwa ngenjongo, kufuneka usebenzise kuphela iingxabano kunye neengxelo ezingenakunyanika. Njengoko kukhankanywe ngaphambili, zama ukufumanisa iindawo ezinobuthakathaka kwityholo kwaye uphikise. Oku kunokwenziwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: ngokubeka phambili inguqu yakho, ukubuza imibuzo okanye ngandlela-thile ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ngokulula, kufuneka ukhangele imeko, kwaye, nakungabikho, musa ukuvusa imizwa. Khumbula ukuba umtshutshisi ulindela kuwe nayiphi na impendulo, kodwa kuphela ukuzola kwaye uzele ukuzithemba nokulunga kwakhe. Le ndlela iya kumdibanisa. Ukuba uqala ukubonisa, umntu ulahleke ngokupheleleyo kwaye uyakhohlwa malunga nazo zonke iingxabano ayekade nazo. Ngoko ke, khumbula ukuba kunzima ukugxeka umntu owaziyo ukuba ulungile, akamesabi ummangali kwaye akavumelanga ukuba alahlekelwe uxolo lwakhe.
Ukuba awuzange utshutshwe ngokukodwa, ngoko kulula ukulungisa imeko. Kule meko, abantu banelungelo lokuphulaphula kwaye bakufumanisa inyaniso. Kodwa, kulo mzekelo, akufanele uqikelele. Kalula, kuyimfuneko ukuchazela imeko, ukubonisa ukuba kutheni ungeke ukwazi ukwenza oku kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, ukufumana ubungqina obuya kuqinisekisa ukungabandakanyeki kwimeko okanye kwimeko. Uninzi kunokwenzeka, uya kunikwa ithuba lokufumana indlela yokuzigweba kwaye uza kuhlola ngokufanelekileyo imeko, kwaye ungafuneki ithuba lokuqinisekisa isohlwayo lakho.
Enyanisweni, ebomini bonke abantu kukho iimeko xa etyhola into engayenzanga. Musa ukuyifumana entliziyweni. Bonke abantu banelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo kunye nabanqabileyo nabo bonke abantu. Ukuba akukho mntu uyakuzondayo, kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba uhlala kakuhle. Emva koko, iimvakalelo azibangelwa ngabantu abamnyama nabangathandiyo. Ngako oko, amabali anjalo kunye neenkcaso akufanele zibonwe njengezizathu zokuzijonga njengomntu ongekho, kodwa njengokuba ubungqina bokuthi unokwazi ukuvakalisa iimbandezelo ezinjalo kwiintshaba, ngoko ke uphila kwaye awukho.