Indlela yokwahlula nendoda: 5 ezimbi kunye neendlela ezi-5 ezilungileyo zokuphelisa ubudlelwane

Yonke into inokuqala nokuphela kwayo. Le, ngelishwa, ikwaxhalabisa ezinjalo iingcamango entliziyweni, njengothando, intsapho, umtshato. Abathandi bokuqala abakulungele ukuvuma imeko kwaye baqaphele ngokusola. Ngoko ke ukulungiswa kwengqondo yomntu, ukuba umthwalo wembopheleleko ufanele utshintshwe, uhlulwe okanye ulahlwe ngokukhanyela. Ngenxa yoko ulwahlulo olubuhlungu, nenzondo, nobutshaba obukrakra phakathi kwabantu abathandekayo.

I-Goodbye ingakwazi kwaye kufuneka ibe lula, izazi zeengqondo ziqinisekile. Ukuzalisa ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kwaye uhlale ungumhlobo okanye ubuncinane abantu ababulela omnye nomnye kumntwana okanye obuninzi ubomi, uya kufuneka uphenye izizathu zesiphene kwaye ufumane iindlela zokuhlukana. UNjingalwazi we-Psychology wase-US uSusan Whitbourne ucetyisa ukuqwalasela ukudibanisa ubudlelwane ngokuqhathanisa iindlela ezimbi kunye neendlela zokuhlukana. Ukuba izigqibo ziyenziwe ngokuchanekileyo, ngoko kwindawo yokuthandana okushiya kuya kubakho ubuncwane kunye nokubulela.

Izizathu ezine ezibalulekileyo zokuSahlukana

Umcebisi wentsapho uJasmine Diaz, ethembela kumava akhe atyebi ekusebenzisaneni nomtshato, ubiza izizathu ezi-5 eziphambili zokuhlukana:

1. Ukoyika uxanduva. Ubudlelwane abuyithandi kuphela, kodwa noxanduva. Ukuba amaqabane aphephe uxanduva lweengxaki eziphakama, cwaka iingxabano kwaye ugweme ukukhangela isisombululo esakhayo, umanyano uza kutshatyalaliswa kamva okanye kamva.
2. Uloyiko lwengxabano. Ubudlelwane ngaphandle "kokuxubusha" abakwazi ukuphuhlisa. Le yindlela ecacileyo yokutshatyalaliswa kwabo. Ukufumana ubudlelwane - akuthethi ukugxeka nokugxeka, kodwa kuthetha - ukuthetha kunye nokuqonda, ngomntu omdala ukufuna inyaniso.
3. Ukungabikho ngqalelo kunye nokunyamekela. Kwimeko nayiphi na ubudlelwane, ukuvakalelwa kwintswelo kunye nokuvelisa kuthatyathwa yinto yokuthuthuzela, kwaye kwanokuqhelekileyo. Abantu bayeke ukunikela ngokubaluleka kunye nokunyamekela. Kunzima ukugcina ubudlelwane apho kungekho ndawo yokuhlaziywa ngothando.
4. Ukungabi nako ukusondela. Oku akukona nje ngesondo, kodwa nangokwenyama, ukusondelana kwemiphefumlo, ukuqonda nokunyaniseka. Abantu abaxabisa la maxabiso kwaye abavumeli ukusondela kwi-slide ukuya kwi-physiology ye-primitive baya kulaliswa.

Iindlela ezi-5 ezimbi zokuzalisa ubudlelwane

1. Ndizitshisa ngenxa yento yonke. Ukuthotywa kuyona nto inokulimaza. Ngokuqinisekileyo akunakukunceda ukuhlukana kakuhle. Ukungena kwe-self-flagellation kunye nomthwalo wentukuthelo ngokwakho kuya kubangela iingxaki ezintsha. Isikhundla sexhoba siza kutsalela isigwebo.
2. Mgxeka iqabane. Ukukhangela ityala akuyona indlela yokuphuma. Iwayini edlula, njengebhola lebhola phakathi kwabadlali, yenza ukhusele kwaye usolwe ngokuphendula. Kwaye oku kuyisiseko esibi kunazo zonke zokwabelana ngokuthula.
3. Shiya nge siNgesi. Ukugqithiswa kwiintsebenziswano ngaphandle kwengcaciso kukungathembekanga kwaye kungenakutyala. Wonke umntu unelungelo lokuqiniseka kwaye ufanelekile ngenhlonipho. Kwaye ukuba kubonakala ngathi oku akunjalo, ngoko kufuneka uhloniphe ubuncinane ngaphandle kokuzihlonela.
4. Ukuhlola ubomi bomntu owayengumlingane naye ngaphambili. Utshutshiso, ukutyelela ngokufihlakeleyo kwiintanethi zentlalo, iifowuni okanye i-SMS kwisimo sokuxila ngeke kukuvumele ukuphelisa ubuhlobo. Ukubuyela ebuhlungu kwixesha elidlulileyo kufana ne-masochism.
5. Gxila ekuqhekekeni kwezihlobo kunye nabahlobo. Ngobudlelwane phakathi kwala mabini akukho ndawo kubalamli be-arbitrators. Vala abantu banokukunceda kuphela ngokungaphazamisi. Sebenzisa abantwana kwi-showdown, ukusetha ngokumelene nomnye umzali-ukumkelwa okuvunyelwe. Ubenza abazali bakhe babe ziintshaba baze baphule ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana.

Izenzo ezintlanu zokwenza isahlulo

1. Ukulungiswa kokuziphatha. Ekugqibeleni ubudlelwane obunokungafuneki ngokukhawuleza akuvumelekanga. Akunakwenzeka ukucima uxhulo, olwenzela ixesha elithile, ngaphandle kwentlungu. Kufuneka ukuba usebenzise utshintsho kwaye ulungiselele kancane.
2. U xanduva. Kukho nawaphi na ukuphuka, bobabini amaqabane kufuneka basolwe ngokulinganayo. Ukuqhathaniswa kuyimfuneko ukuchazela into endiyithandileyo into engakhululekile kunye nayo kwaye ungalibali ukuva iimpazamo zayo ezinokwenzeka.
3. Ilungiselelo eliphuculweyo. Isigqibo senxalenye asiyiyo into eyenziwe. Inkqubo, njengommiselo, ibalekile kwaye kulungele ukuseka ngokukhawuleza imithetho yoqhagamshelwano nokuzibophelelana komnye nomnye emva kokuhlukana.
4. Unonophelo olungileyo. Iphuzu elibhekiselwe kulwalamano ngumnyango osongwe emva kwexesha elidlulileyo. Ungazigwebi phambi kwabahlobo kwaye ukhumbule imemori yezikhalazo kunye neempawu ezimbi zomntu owayekade naye.
5. Ukubulela ngamava. Zonke iziganeko, abantu, iintlanganiso kunye nokwahlukana ebomini akukhawulezi. Nayiphi na ubudlelwane luyinto exabisekileyo kwixesha elizayo elixhomekeke kuyo. Ukubulela ngokunyanisekileyo kuya kuba yindlela efanelekileyo yokuhamba nesidima.